Great falls tribune obituaries

Pilot sport 4 s or pilot sport all season 4?
There’s occasional rain and I’d like to prolong swapping winter tires into late fall - my thought is I’m not going to the track and the all seasons will still perform great on dry days but keep my safe in wet days/temp drops
Edit:
https://toptirereview.com/michelin-pilot-sport-all-season-4-vs-michelin-pilot-sport-4s/
Taking a look at the handling chart here the huge improvement is snow handling which isn’t a huge deal for me since I have dedicated winter rubber. Are the 4 s fine in the above conditions as long as I’m conscious?

Or the alternate, more spoilery title of 'Why Chisha is a genius'.
Alright lets lay down the board. For all of arc 7, pretty much everything that happens is directly because of 4 people, Subaru, Abel, Chisha and Berstetz.
So assuming that you read the entirety of arc 7 and the beginning of arc 8 and immune to spoilers, let's just state their purposes.
Subaru: end the war quickly with as little casualities as possible, then get home
Abel: take the throne for the Great Disaster
Chisha: save Abel and prepare for the Great Disaster
Berstetz: kill Abel, replace the emperor
So, there's some invisible matchups going on here between tacticians. Mainly Abel vs Chisha, Abel vs Subaru, Subaru vs Berstetz, Chisha vs Berstetz.
Abel vs Chisha is of course, who gets to die. A love story really. Chisha seems to have a better grasp of the timing than Abel by researching the Stargazers on his own. Chisha's ultimate goal is to keep Abel alive, and gather fighting forces. Abel fell for it completely by starting a rebellion.
Subaru vs Abel is mostly a battle featuring how well Abel can drag Subaru into his war. Abel assumes Subaru is a Stargazer and thinks Subaru should understand that the Great Disaster will not start if he's not on the throne. Subaru meanwhile wants nothing of the war but doesn't want Abel to die.
Subaru vs Berstetz, a battle because Berstetz is bloodthirsty and Subaru is a pacifist. Their conflicting ideologies clash.
Chisha vs Berstetz. Actually one of the most interesting battles in arc 7 since Chisha is secretly assisting Abel vs Berstetz. Berstetz is upset about Abel having no successors. Chisha doesn't want Abel to die, but he also has to keep a front for Berstetz.
Subaru vs Chisha. Actually they have nothing much against each other.
First move, of course, goes to Chisha, whose intentions align with Berstetz about kicking Abel out. Goz somehow knows about this, from Chisha's leak of the Great Disaster probably, and buys Abel some time to get out.
Then Abel encounters Subaru, who's there entirely by fluke... or not? Abel hasn't quite believed Subaru is Subaru yet. And here, Abel, being attentive, notices the first leak of Subaru's abilities as a 'Stargazer'. They recruit the Shudrak for entirely different reasons, to save Rem and to start a rebellion.
Abel didnt prepare Subaru at all for Gural. And honestly if he did, then Subaru might have succeeded in getting out because a few disguises would probably have worked.
Gural falls. Todd, overestimating his opponent, merging Abel's ruthless intent for war and Subaru's daredevil deviousness together, conceives of a 'child of war'.
This next sequence is Chisha's move. He sends Arakiya. A surekill... except it isn't. Chisha has been harrassing Priscilla and most likely timed Arakiya's arrival with Priscilla. Priscilla will assist Abel. Arakiya is supposed to listen to Priscilla. Essentially giftwrapping both Priscilla and Arakiya to be used by Abel.
But then Todd rescued Arakiya. Chisha's ploy against Berstetz to strengthen Abel worked partially.
Abel most likely told Arakiya that Priscilla will be his successor. Something that Chisha wants to overturn. So Arakiya getting pissed at Abel was going to happen sooner or later and Chisha chose to hasten it.
Abel credits Subaru for his achievement with Gural. Subaru decides to spread the breadcrumbs using specifically Natsumi's name and persona for Emilia and co. Abel mistakes this extra intention as Subaru being rather fond of crossdressing.
And then they go to Chaosflame, where Subaru and Chisha meet. Both of them didnt intend for it. Thankfully Al draws a convenient out and Chisha takes it.
Chisha must have been quite interested in Subaru. He probably watched Priscilla's entire journey so he should know who Priscilla is bringing. In his pov, there was a random girl, outwardly not that strong, who has seen Abel's real face, insulting the emperor brazenly, in the tactician position where he most likely expected Abel to be in. And Gural was a weird outcome uncharacteristic of Abel.
Chisha watches as Olbart fights them. And then in his point of view, Abel comes to retrieve Tanza from him with a mini Al and a mini Medium.
Then the fake great disaster happens. Surprisingly Abel and Chisha are not dead. For a brief moment Abel mistakes the cause and the solution and indirectly asks Taritta to take his life. Luckily nothing like that happened and Abel successfully recruits Yorna.
And then Subaru is blown to Ginunhive, where he meets Cecilus entirely by fluke... or not? Really sus.
Meanwhile Emilia and co. has picked up on Subaru's trail and subsequently gather at Gural. They save Gural from Madeline, who is one of Berstetz's allies.
Subaru finds himself on Ginunhive and eventually recruits the whole island. Subaru notices Abel's orders as a guard against rebellions, to keep Ginunhive alive, against any other party including Chisha.
Turns out Chisha, after shrinking Cecilus, sent him to Ginunhive, which is quite literally a free private army for Abel. Abel picked up Yorna instead, and overlooked Ginunhive most likely due to Priscilla's conditions and Subaru's pacifist strategy. But at least Subaru is now there to pick up the slack.
Chisha eventually tells Berstetz that he removed Cecilus because he's too much of a wildcard. Well thats a fat lie probably, since Guninhive is such a fertile ground for Abel. But Chisha is worried that Cecilus would get in the way if he got involved, so he shrunk Cecilus and made him forget about his relationship to him and Abel. There's no way that Abel will kill him after all, so Chisha doesn't need to be worried even if Abel takes Cecilus.
At this point, Chisha has lost control of Arakiya, and Arakiya becomes Berstetz's piece. To crush a potential boon for Abel, Berstetz sends Arakiya to Guninhive.
And so another battle between Subaru and Berstetz, via Pleiades vs Todd and Arakiya, which Subaru won.
At this point, Abel's move to announce a crown prince to keep Subaru involved has gotten steam. And Chisha, knowing full well Abel does not have a son and most likely guessed what happened to Abel's ally regardless of whether olbart told him, tells his retinue to keep the 'Crown Princes' alive, which leads Berstetz to doubt Chisha.
Abel is surprised by Subaru's allies coming, involves them in his war because of the rumour he spread previously and judges that it will be enough to go against Chisha.
Everybody gathers at the imperial capital.
The final instance of Subaru vs Berstetz being the magic cannon that Beatrice negates.
Then Chisha did his thing. Ggs.
Chisha > Abel. He did it.
Abel > Subaru. Subaru defeats himself here. By the time of Gural, Subaru has probably stopped trying to run away. Emilia and Otto got successfully trapped despite being an unexpected factor.
Subaru > Berstetz. Subaru's actions reduced quite a lot of damage to Gural and Pleiades.
Chisha > Berstetz. Abel survived.
Chisha's the only one who achieved all of his objectives. Subaru is an external factor that did throw in some unpredictability for both Abel and Chisha. Unknowingly, Subaru's ideals are rather aligned with Chisha when it came to preserving strength for the Great Disaster.

I'm a bit of language nerd, but I'm wondering how much sense learning languages has in the time when we'll soon probably get perfect machine translation. I still think there's a lot of value in it, but probably not as much as it used to be once.
I'm a non-native speaker of English, so as the most obvious thing, among my language goals, further improving my English has always had a prominent place. My English is currently C1 I'd say, even though my vocabulary is probably C2 already, but there are other factors where I still fall short of full C2. Still I think even full C2, is kind of not completely enough. I fully appreciate the fact that English is global lingua franca, so I think to fully participate in global culture without any handicap, you need to reach native-like level of English. And this is way higher than C2. This is just a vague feeling, I'm not sure how true it is. I have no problems understanding most of the stuff, but I do come across terms I don't know sometimes, and even though I typically understand it from context, it still has the effect of making the message a bit foggier, a bit murkier, and also another effect is that I tire more quickly than I would if I was dealing with my native language.
Getting to where I am with my English has already been a long journey - and my word count according to some tests is around 22,000 words. Native speakers of my age (mid 30s) typically know around 50,000 words or even more. So even if my English may sound quite good, from this to native-like is a long journey and a lot of work.
Wondering for you guys - have you noticed some real benefits going from the phase like "you think you're advanced" (like me now) to the phase "you're really native like" ?
Now the second part of the story is about learning other languages.
I think they are a lot less practically useful, but are still great for widening your horizons, learning about culture, and maybe getting the ability to think in a different way. And last but not the least - learning languages is fun. Sometimes you start learning a language as hobby, for pleasure, but you end up using it professionally. This happened in my case with Italian, which started as a totally fun oriented project, but eventually I got a job in an Italian company and stayed there for 4 years, using Italian on a daily basis.
When it comes to non-English languages, which ones do you think is best value if you do a cost-benefit analysis? Cost in terms of difficulty and time needed, and benefit in terms of access to interesting content, fun and aesthetic pleasure, interesting mental exercise, learning new ways of thinking, opening up your mind to new things, etc... of course, benefits include practical stuff too, like job prospects, economic factors, access to communication with large groups of people, etc...
Now also, do you think it makes more sense to focus on small number of languages but to go very deep and very far in your studies (in my case that would mean, remaining focused just on my English and Italian) or to learn more languages even if that would mean sacrificing some depth in all of them (in my case that would entail, trying to get at least decent in French, German, Russian and Spanish... all of which I learned a bit at some points in time).
Now of course, I'm interested to hear your stories too? Do you learn languages or you consider it a waste of time? Which languages? If you're not a native English speaker, are you still trying to get better at English, or you're happy with your level?
All comments, even if they're a bit tangential are welcome. I'm really looking forward to some general language related discussion.

Loewe's pre-FW23 collection is here, and looks like they're introducing some new handbag styles and some slight price increases :') Jonathan Andersen is amazing
One that caught my eye is the Paseo Satchel, which is so gorgeous and the leather looks so soft. It looks like it comes with both a shoulder and a crossbody strap, which is awesome. I've heard nothing but amazing things about the quality of the flamenco bags, and this seems similar with the flamenco knots.
Another one is the Mini Hammock Hobo, which looks so simple and elegant while also being very versatile! You can wear it as a "normal" bag but also still get the Hammock feel by cinching the strap. I do wonder how the leather would wear over time and if there would be any creasing, but Loewe's also known for quality so maybe it'll age nicely. I love the Hammock but I can't do open-top bags because I tend to throw my bags about and don't want to worry about things falling out, so this looks like a great option for me.
Of course, there's also the rumor mill that the classic Puzzle is being retired and being replaced by the Puzzle Edge instead, but it looks like there are still seasonal colors being released for the Puzzle.
Do you love the new styles? Hate them? Don't really care? I'd love to know your opinions!

I was the buyer / agent on a deal that fell through recently. Long story short there were some issues that came up during inspections and we didn’t get anywhere in negotiations with the seller about the issues so we decided to cancel.
There were two blatant falsehoods on the property disclosure that were revealed through our due diligence. When we cancelled the contract, I put the issues very clearly in writing and said that the disclosure doc needs to be changed. The agent never responded to my email. She signed the cancellation, but never acknowledged what I had put in writing multiple times about the falsehoods on the disclosure doc.
I have a very strong feeling that the agent never properly told her client that the disclosure doc is wrong. She advised her client on how to fill it out and I think she’s worried about losing credibility with her client, especially after the days of back and forth negotiations about this issues we brought up, with the deal ultimately falling through. The agent’s communication skills were horrible and I got the impression that she was minimizing the issues when speaking to her client. I think she failed her client pretty bad here.
Days after we cancelled the contract the agent reached out to me (trying to re-negotiate, I guess? Although all she said was “it really is a great property”). By this point we had already moved on, but I saw on the MLS that the disclosure doc had not been changed so I asked if she was planning to change it and said that if she did not I have an ethical duty to tell someone about this. She said “we have every intention of correcting any issues on the disclosure” … again not acknowledging the specific issues I had pointed to.
Now more than a week later she has removed the old disclosure doc … but has not uploaded a new one. Seller disclosures are required in our state. I have a feeling that if someone calls wanting to put in an offer she’s going to feign ignorance and simply email them the old disclosure doc so she doesn’t have to admit her mistake to her client. Of course I have no way to prove this, but it’s very telling to me that she hasn’t uploaded new corrected disclosure docs.
Should I tell someone about this, or just let sleeping dogs lie? Especially since I have no proof that she’s going to lie to future potential buyers, it’s just a hunch.

I only accept a few people and want creative people and please read all the stuff I require as I’ve had to many people not ready any of it and wasted too much time.
Romance rp - Sol
• first person only! •
Male 25 from the uk Looking for a females only 18+ as I do not feel comfortable doing a rp with minors. My plots are below but please read my post to make sure you miss nothing.
Interested in doing a longterm rp and The plots will be detailed and I will require you to make some kind of effort with the story. Message me either directly or through discord, I will provide my discord directly to you if you do first person and are looking to rp. If you have ideas similar to mine, we can discuss ideas together and maybe expand on mine. I’m looking to be creative with my ideas aswell as write a great longterm love story. I can write a lot depending how much my partner writes along with background detail during the story, my detail can vary depending if it’s needed for a scene and how busy I am in the real world tho I will always give my best effort to do detail.
The plot below can be mixed together in many ways and don’t exactly have to be just one of the ideas.
• Plots • - Rockstar - model - Bf - gf story - Rich boyfriend - poor girlfriend - Older boyfriend/ younger girlfriend - College - uni romance - celebrity love story - friends fall in love - teen romance - hot guy - hot girl - nerdy guy - hot girl - poor couple - rich couple - single teen mum.
imrazed Male Looking for a females only 18+
I’m from the uk so preferably people from the uk. If you are not from the uk and run on a similar timezone feel free to hmu and we can discuss doing a role play.

Hi, I need some advice regarding my (M) housemate (F) who I’ve lived with for 5 years. She’s in a relationship with a boy from her friend group. The thing is, said boy lives in a 2 bedroom flat with his ex girlfriend and hasn’t told her yet that he’s in a new relationship. The reason he won’t tell her is because he’s worried about the affect it would have on her mental health as she went through a bad breakup before however, this is causing a detrimental effect on my housemates mental health. In the last 6 months I’ve seen her cry more than I have in the 4 and a half years prior. She comes home crying for one reason or another every two weeks or so. It’s kinda infuriating. I’ll listen to her worries and my advice to her is to break up with him if he’s been keeping you a secret this long to protect his ex, he would if if it was the other way round. He comes round once a week for what mainly seems like sex then leaves a few hours later. Doesn’t stay overnight and tells his ex he’s been at gym or with friends. He regularly has dinner and food with his ex more than my housemate. I keep advising her that she can do better but I feel my advice is falling on deaf ears. My housemate has gone away for a week for work. I went out for a walk with my girlfriend and walked past him with ex around the corner from where we live. It’s driving me a bit mad but I’m moving out soon. I wanna know my housemate is in a good position when I move out because this situation doesn’t seem great for her. What would you do?

be me; ex LizarDM
be also me; Adonis Valintellis (Tiefling Paladin), Thalia Milakos (Human Ranger) and Zaahir Kehmet (Earth Genasi Wizard)
turning the corner at speed, Zaahir ploughed into a market stall, throwing an array of fruits and nuts into the air as he struck
pain shot through his hip and back, but before the merchant could even raise their voice, Zaahir was up and running again, tossing a few loose coins over his shoulder in the process
left, right, then left again
he tore through the streets like a man possessed, pumping his arms and legs as he sprinted
his lungs burned and his heart pounded, but he knew he couldn't stop
if he stopped, they'd catch him. And he'd have to start all over again
the amulet he’d stolen slapped against his chest, burrowing a hole into his ribs with each strike
he’d tried to toss it before, get rid of it and all that followed
but no sooner would he try, the amulet would appear back on his person, as if he’d never attempted in the first place
and then there was the old man
that decrepit figure that clung to his mind like a tick. A relentless presence that refused to leave
Zaahir didn’t recognise him. There was very little he recognised
he was in Syracae, that much was certain
but the identity of the old man. The amulet around his neck. The reason he was here in the first place
he knew none of it
it was like a dream. The more he tried to remember, the more he forgot
Zaahir stopped at a corner, gasping for breath as his heart thundered against his rib cage
he had tried to take a different path. Tried to change the outcome
but he recognised these streets. These buildings
in spite of all he had done, he was in the lower agora again
it was as if the world itself were reshaping to fit a certain narrative
a narrative that he was forced to act in, even if he didn’t know the script
he observed the slope of the street, noting the downward decline to his right
muttering a foreign curse under his breath, he turned to the left, and began running
the upward slope burned his quads, but even as he ran, he could feel the world changing
the burn in his quads shifted to his calves, and now he was moving downhill
he stopped in place and turned, glancing in either direction
no matter which way he looked, the road always seemed to move downward
down to the lower agora
he was reflecting on this reality bending phenomenon when he became aware of the subtle changes in the wind
the air around him became hotter, and with it came the distinct odours of a foreign land
sand, salt, myrrh and oil of balanos and cedar
the shadows began to bend, and Zaahir felt the prickle of hairs on his neck begin to rise
a figure appeared at the end of the street, towering and gaunt
he had just the time to make out a bestial head, like that of a jackal, before he took off running
the world shifted around him once more, bending to fit the narrative in which he had no say
and Zaahir continued to play his part, ever the unwilling actor in a story he did not recognise

the rain cascaded down like a flood, running off the makeshift tarp and pooling at the adventurer’s feet
Thalia led the way, scanning what little area she could make out amidst the rain and gloom
behind her, Adonis held up his shield, bearing the weight of their meagre shelter without complaint
5 kilometres was not far to travel. In ideal conditions, the pair could cover that distance within under 45 minutes
but these were not ideal conditions, and their shambling gait slowed their progress to a crawl
peering through the storm, Thalia made out a silhouette in the near distance; pale against the darkened surroundings
beckoning Adonis to follow, Thalia led the way over, guiding the pair in an uncoordinated shuffle towards the figure
the rain parted and the silhouette manifested into the body of a woman, her head lowered as if in grief
dark hair clung to her face like a curtain, the clothes on her back soaked to the bone
Thalia gave a defeated sigh, already steering them away
this woman was the most recent in a long line of unfamiliar faces; giving the ranger just enough hope to cling onto, but not enough to keep the growing dread at bay
try as she might to ignore it, the ever shrinking thread on her wrist served as a terrible reminder of their fading chances of escape
by now, the thread had shrunk to 3 inches. A quarter of what they’d started with
even if they found Zaahir at this very moment, they wouldn’t have the time to escape the Underworld before their entrance closed
observing his partner’s fading willpower, Adonis rested a spare hand on her shoulder, and raised his voice to be heard over the downpour
“shall we try out the spell again? See what we can muster?”
Thalia slowed in her advance and gave a half hearted nod; unconvinced of their chances
the pair came to a stop, and Adonis stepped closer so as to bring them both beneath the full protection of his shield
safe from any wayward droplets of rain, Thalia closed her eyes and began to focus, calling on the ever shrinking well of magical power within her
imitating Zaahir’s spell had proven more difficult than expected
on top of the immense pressure and unforgiving environment; Zaahir’s style of magic couldn’t be further removed from her own
a strict academic approach to the arcane, his magic was brought about through years of careful study and hundreds of hours locked within a dusty library
her own approach was far less refined
to her, magic was less a thing to be studied and manipulated, and more a force to be reasoned with
a wild creature, that if you weren’t careful in your handling of, could just as easily harm you as the target you intended
wielding magic required both patience and care
two attributes that she found herself lacking as of late
drawing on the magic within her, she began to cast the spell, honing in on Zaahir’s unique life force
her perception expanded out like an aura, alerting her to the presence of several souls within the vicinity, each shining with its own distinct light
if she focused, she could begin to make out details. What they were wearing. What they looked like
but before she could begin to search for Zaahir, Thalia was met with an all too familiar resistance
an interference that hovered in the air, blurring her magical sight until each soul was indistinguishable from the next
letting loose a cry of frustration, Thalia released the spell, and her senses returned to her body
“I still can’t do it,” she meekly explained. “I always feel like I’m so close to getting it, but no matter what I do or how hard I try, I can’t make him out in all of... this-”
she waved her hands about frantically, gesturing to everything and nothing at all
giving a weary sigh in response, Adonis squeezed the young woman’s shoulder reassuringly
“it’s not your fault. With the rains and their effects, there may be too much magical energy floating around. It’s no wonder you can’t lock on”
“so what are we supposed to do? Keep walking and hope we stumble across him?”
Thalia pulled away from the paladin’s grasp and turned to meet his gaze, her once brown eyes now a steely grey
“I’m out of my depth here, Adonis. I know I’m meant to stay strong and be brave, but I’m not sure how much longer I can keep pretending that I’m not scared out of my mind”
“a demon almost killed me earlier and we've barely had a moment to stop and think. A few hours before that, you pulled me out of a flaming river of hell, and now, we’re standing on Chaon’s front lawn trying to steal one of his garden ornaments. Everything is moving so fast, and yet, I know we’re not moving fast enough”
she glared up at him, her body taut with anger and frustration
but after only a few moments, all of the strength in her body seemed to fade away, taking the anger along with it
her shoulders slumped, and now she looked up at him with tired eyes, searching his face for any hint of the guidance or wisdom she’d learned to rely on so heavily
“I just need to hear you say that you have a plan. That when all of this is over and done, that things are going to be okay. Because I can’t see the big picture anymore”
Adonis met the young woman’s gaze; her once bright, hopeful eyes now dull and so full of defeat
her will was hanging on by a thread
one wrong word, and that thread would snap
Adonis’ lips curled into a sad, tired smile, and his hand lifted to cradle her cheek
it was cold against his fingers, the last remnants of heat in her body having been stripped away by the rains
he held her for a moment, his mind working overtime to think of the right words. The inspiring phrases. The rousing speeches
but as he looked into her eyes, he knew that they weren’t what she needed right now
“when I first met you on that boat, I saw a scared, frightened young woman, taking her first steps into the wider world. A farmer’s daughter, trying her lot as an adventurer. You were clinging to Namira so tight, I was afraid you’d blow over if you let go for even a moment”
Thalia stared up at him, not saying a word in response
Adonis took that as his sign to continue
“you looked at the world like every little thing in it was a terrible threat. Every wave on the sea, every cloud in the sky. Even an old fool like me. You seemed so sure that the world was out to get you. And that first night, when the harpies came swooping in, I was sure you’d run. Take shelter or hide below deck”
his eyes glazed over as he spoke, as if he weren’t looking at the woman in front of him, but somewhere else. Somewhere far away from here
“imagine my surprise when instead, this frightened, shaking twig of a girl steps out onto the bow of the ship, and begins shooting these harpies down one after the other”
he began miming the arrows, an unconscious smile creeping across his face
“and I looked at you, thinking; where did that frightened girl go?. Who is this…doppleganger that’s taken her place?. Throughout the fight, I continued to watch; and eventually I figured it out. She wasn’t gone. Even then, as she took down harpy after harpy, I could see that she was still afraid”
his eyes focused on Thalia’s face, and the smile faded to a warm, proud expression
“and I knew from that very moment; That’s someone I want at my side. That girl is going to become a hero. Not because you weren’t frightened. But because you were. And you fought anyway”
he gave her shoulder a squeeze and gestured to the terrible rains around them
“now I’ll agree, things look dire. When I look forward, the big picture can be hard to see. But I look at the little picture, and I see what we’ve overcome to get here. No, we haven’t found Zaahir yet. But we know he’s in here, and every step we take, is a step closer to finding him”
Adonis rose to his full height, holding the shield high above his shoulders
“now, I’m ready to keep looking. No matter how long it takes. Are you ready?”
in spite of herself, a smile touched Thalia’s lips, and she felt a warm tear run down her cheek
“yeah”
stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around Adonis’ midsection, holding him tight as the rain pelted down around them
“thank you”
Adonis smiled down at her, feeling the corners of his eyes begin to well up in tears
he wiped them away with a finger, and Thalia pulled away, steadying herself with a long, shaky exhale
the paladin raised an eyebrow, giving her a wry grin
“so how about it. Want to give that spell one more shot?”
a nervous laugh escaped Thalia’s lips before she steeled her nerves and nodded
“yeah. I think so”
Adonis gestured for her to go ahead and Thalia took a deep breath in, closing her eyes as she let the world go quiet around her
when the rain had all but faded away, she dipped into the well of magic and felt the familiar buzz of energy that awaited
she tapped into it, feeling the energy race up her spine and cause her fingertips to tingle and her tongue to go numb
when the buzzing had settled, she began to reach out into the void, expanding her senses to the souls around her
the air hummed with arcane interference, the magic of the Fields hovering all around her
they blurred the essences around her, causing the individual souls to meld together into an incomprehensible soup
Thalia prepared to let the magic go, and then a thought entered her mind
don’t look at the big picture
just before the spell faded from her control, Thalia recalled it, coercing the magic back under her command
this time, when she cast her senses into the void, she didn’t focus on the souls, letting them drift to the peripherals of her vision
she needed something smaller. Something only Zaahir would have
a unique item?
no
any items he possessed would have remained with his physical body
her brow furrowed in concentration, her mind conjuring up an image of her friend
it was blurry and imperfect, but she held it all the same, inspecting him in her mind’s eye
after a moment of careful observation, she was struck by a glaringly obvious feature
the gold in his skin
having been around the mage for so long, she’d almost forgotten how unique his appearance truly was
she nodded to herself, preparing to redirect the spell to seek out the nearest source of gold
but just before the spell could leave her fingertips, a sudden thought entered her mind
Adonis still had his coin purse
what were the chances that he didn’t have a single gold coin on him?
she supposed that she could throw his purse into the bottomless bag, but the thought had scarcely passed her mind before she dismissed it
she didn’t understand how the bag worked, and it wasn’t worth risking the few scraps of magic she had left on a hunch
giving a disappointed sigh, Thalia went back to brainstorming
what was unique to Zaahir?
what did he have, that no one else would?
she thought for several seconds, working over her mental image again and again, searching for something to focus on
her eyes passed over his body, his unique appearance and foreign clothes
his clothes
Zaahir had several sets of clothes. They all did
but the ones he wore that day were distinctly Khoprisi in design
“do Melanteans go to the Isle?” she blurted, her mind racing
“what?”
Adonis’ voice reached her ears, but it sounded far away, as if she were hearing it through a thick wall
“Melanteans. What happens to their souls if they’re evil?”
she fought to maintain the spell, balancing her attention between it and Adonis’ response
“I don’t entirely recall. Melantean faith wasn’t my area of study”
uttering a curse under her breath, Thalia reigned in her intrusive thoughts, and recontained the spell that had begun to slip under her absence of concentration
without Adonis’ confirmation, she’d be taking an immense risk
but what else was she supposed to do?
resigning herself to the possibility of failure, Thalia cast the spell, refining her search to Khoprisi made clothes
her field of awareness expanded, passing over soul after soul
it grew wider and wider, with no hint of pause or recognition
and just as she was beginning to give up hope, the spell locked onto an object, and Thalia’s heart rose into her throat
not 300 metres away, right on the edge of her vision, was a layered cloth robe, cut from dyed Khoprisi linen
Thalia’s eyes shot open, and she turned to Adonis with a wide smile
“you found him?” Adonis asked, his eyes brightening with hope
“I found someone. I can’t make promises, but…”
in spite of her efforts to curb her enthusiasm, Thalia practically radiated a sense of renewed hope
his own reserved smile widening to a grin, Adonis gestured with his arm
“lead the way then”
giving an energetic nod, Thalia raised their cloth shelter and began to shuffle in the direction of the skirt, fighting every urge to not go running off into the rain spattered fields
it would be a rather pitiful end to wind up trapping themselves right before they found their friend
and so, forced to move at a crawling pace, Thalia led the way, projecting her thoughts out as if they might reach Zaahir somewhere within these Fields
hold on just a little bit longer. We’re on our way

Zaahir collapsed against the brick wall, gasping for air in between bouts of dry retching
his vision swam before his eyes, his heart pounding so hard in his chest he feared it would give out
not that it would matter
were he to die, he’d merely wind up right where he started, and be forced to relive this all over again
fighting to regain his breath and recompose himself, Zaahir closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the cool brick wall
but where his brow should have touched hard brick, he instead felt the smooth texture of polished cedar wood
opening his eyes, he let out a long, exasperated groan; recognising an all too familiar door
even without this bizarre realm of scripted encounters and indefinite loops, he would have recognised Alekos’ storefront in a heartbeat
yet again, in spite of his best efforts, the world had reshaped itself to fit a certain narrative
a narrative where, after evading the local guards, he wound up at Alekos’ door, seeking to trade away his stolen goods
Zaahir contemplated walking away, as little as that would achieve, but the changing winds and the rising scent of sand and oils quickly dissuaded him
before he could change his mind, the Khoprisi mage flung the door open and darted inside, slamming it shut behind him
the winds died in an instant, and Zaahir was left to stew in the brief serenity of silence for a few grateful seconds
but only a few
for that silence was quickly broken by a voice that had begun to grate on him like no other
“Syphaeus? Archons above, is that you?”
rolling his eyes to the heavens, Zaahir turned to face the diminutive figure of Alekos, glaring down at him with an expression of pure contempt
“oh but it is!” the halfling cried, outstretching his arms to embrace the gold encrusted genasi
Zaahir brushed him off, keeping the deceitful shopkeeper at an arm’s length
Alekos retreated a step or two, raising his hands in apology. “Not a hugger, got it”
slipping into a smile as easily as one might slip into a pair of new sandals, Alekos recovered swiftly. “So, what brings you out this way? What can I do for you?”
knowing that the conversation would go by quicker if he complied, Zaahir slung the amulet off his neck and tossed it into the halfling’s hands
Alekos caught the amulet, and after a moment of inspection, his eyes widened in surprise
“where in Chaon did you get this?”
Zaahir didn’t answer, instead taking the opportunity to browse the wares around him
an enchanted spear, a pair of gnarled wands, a set of bracers
he wondered what poor souls had to die in order for these items to appear on display
behind him, Alekos continued the conversation, responding as if Zaahir had answered him
“I see. No need to worry. I’m no stranger to the odd spot of mischief. Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered, I always say. I take it you won’t be wanting receipts for this then”
he placed the amulet on the counter, then turned back to face Zaahir, watching the genasi with a gaze that felt almost predatory
a flash of light on the mage’s hand caught the halfling’s eye, and his expression lit up as he noticed it
“my, my. Well isn’t that a pretty thing on your finger”
Zaahir unconsciously glanced down at his hand, spying the cold metal ring adorning his middle fingertip
a band of polished silver, the ring was capped with an unknown symbol. Perhaps the signet of some noble family or another
pretty, but in the way that a viper was pretty
and Zaahir knew all too well the danger that lurked beneath its unassuming exterior
“enchanted no doubt. What sort of magic does it hold?”
once again, Zaahir said nothing, but Alekos flinched as if he’d been struck
“of course not, no,” the halfling said with a chuckle, that easy smile slipping back onto his lips. “Besides, I wouldn’t have the money if I did. As it stands, I doubt I even have the gold for this amulet. How much are you looking for?”
Alekos paused, nodding in response to some unspoken phrase
“well that’s awfully vague. Ships to Thessylae are cheap this time of year. You could buy yourself passage and a couple month’s lodging. Start a new life”
Zaahir had stopped listening by now, returning to browsing the store’s various wares
Alekos’ voice faded into the background, and Zaahir entertained himself by inspecting the goods on display
he was inspecting a spool of golden thread when a soft whisper brushed past his ear
quiet and practically incomprehensible, he might’ve mistaken it for wind
but then it came again; louder, and clearer
Zaahir
the genasi turned on the spot, scanning the room with wide eyes
but it was just as he had left it
Alekos continued to speak, acting as if nothing had happened
“I tracked them to a cave a couple days from here, just off the eastern road. I was about to commission the Guild, but now…”
Zaahir. Can you hear us?
the whisper came again. Undeniable this time
ignoring Alekos’ words, Zaahir honed in on the whisper, spinning in place as he searched for its source
we’re here. We’re finally here. Please, Zaahir
the voice was soft and feminine, and more than anything, incredibly familiar
he tried to remember. Tried to put a face to the voice. A name even
but just like everything else, it was like recalling a dream
wake up. We came all this way...please, Zaahir...just wake up
they sounded pleading. Desperate
in spite of the fog surrounding his mind, his heart began to ache for this woman
he was hurting her. He didn’t know how or why, but he was hurting her
Alekos had fallen silent now, and as Zaahir continued searching for that voice, he began to hear something else
something completely foreign to this world he’d found himself within
rain
the warmth of the shop drained away, and a cold chill swept in to take its place
his clothes, once dry, now clung to his body like rags, soaked through with water
the store seemed to fall apart around him; breaking away into tiny fragmented pieces
a different voice came now. Older and deeper
booming from above like a terrible god
ZAAHIR. WAKE UP!
and with a heaving gasp for air, Zaahir was dragged screaming out of his crumbling world
rain pelted down around him like a storm, falling to the earth with droplets as thick as oil
the ground beneath him was made of a dead, black soil that resembled charcoal more than dirt, stretching out as far as he could see
he became aware of a presence above him, right before he felt a pair of crushing arms tighten around his ribs and squeeze the life from him
the air fled his lungs so violently that his vision began to cloud and darken
right before he thought he’d pass out, the arms abruptly let go, allowing him to breathe once more
when his sight finally recovered, he began to make out a face in front of him
pale and grey eyed, the figure appeared almost corpse-like in complexion. But beneath the ghastly visage, Zaahir recognised the familiar face of Thalia staring back at him, tears streaming down her cheeks in spite of the beaming smile across her face
he hardly had a moment to comprehend what he was looking at when Thalia pulled him into a second, even tighter hug
this time, he felt for sure that his ribs would crack beneath the pressure, and when he was finally released, he was light headed and woozy
“not too hard,” a voice warned, “you don’t want to kill him, do you?”
Zaahir groggily turned to follow the voice, and found himself staring up at the towering, horned figure of Adonis, beaming down at him with a wide grin
“wouldn’t want to have to go through this all the trouble finding him again, now would we?”
Adonis extended a hand, and lost in a state of foggy confusion, Zaahir blankly stared at it for a few seconds before thinking to take it
with a great, heaving motion, Adonis hoisted the genasi to his feet, and pulled him into a crushing, one armed embrace
“it’s good to have you back”
a smile spread across Zaahir’s lips, but it was a tired, thin lipped attempt
his legs felt unsteady beneath him, as if they might collapse at any moment
in fact, had it not been for Adonis holding him up, he feared he might do just that
feeling the limpness in his friend’s body, Adonis slung an arm beneath Zaahir’s own, bearing the young man’s weight onto his shoulders
“easy now, I’ve got you”
the paladin turned his head to look at Thalia, meeting her concerned gaze with a stern expression
“start leading the way out of here. We need to get him out of the rain”
with a task to distract her from Zaahir’s poor condition, Thalia set to leading them out, choosing a direction and marching away in a slow, shuffling gait
Adonis followed closely behind, holding Zaahir close so as to keep him beneath the protection of his shield
the genasi slumped against his arm, unable to bear his own weight, mind still reeling from the effects of the spell
Adonis stared down at his younger companion, curbing his relief with a heavy dose of concern
he hid it behind a smile, taking one tentative step, and then another
“come on, then. It’s high time we got you out of this place”

First Post: https://www.reddit.com/CradledDnDStories/comments/x8zwpv/athos_1_a_new_world_of_opportunity/
Last Post: https://www.reddit.com/CradledDnDStories/comments/13duv0v/athos_21_broken_bones_and_fractured_hearts/
Next Post:

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a year. We don’t live together but we spend a lot of time together. I have two kids of my own (12f and 8f) and while they are kids, they are really good, respectful kids who give no one any major issues. I have them full time. They love my boyfriend’s daughter (5), whom he has four days a week. For the most part we all have a good relationship, but we’ve had several fights in the last few weeks about his daughter. Bedtime is an hours long ordeal where she does everything to stall, long after my kids are settled in bed. She wants to fall asleep with him but she’s “thirsty, hungry, wants to talk about some inane topic.” And he views this as wanting time with him, so he indulges and she. Doesn’t. Sleep. Then she’s difficult to wake in the morning. Rinse and repeat. It’s extremely hard to be a part of.
I’m frustrated because it’s my bed, and I feel like I’m being held hostage. I can’t turn the tv on or have time with my partner. Lights off. He has made it clear he doesn’t see it as a problem and it’s not changing because he only has her four days a week and he doesn’t get to see her much. Her mom is borderline neglectful and completely uncommunicative and likely personality disordered. While they were together she used his daughter as a bargaining chip and he didn’t get to see her much. When they split he took his daughter after an incident of the ex’s creation and there was a big court battle, which resulted in the current arrangement. So he feels sad and guilty for not having her much as a kid.
I know it’s not my place to have an opinion on this. I’m not mom. He’s great with my kids and otherwise I’m happy with him. I need advice, experiences to butt out. Teach me about nacho. It’s foreign and I’m obviously not good at it.

Been a very amateur baker for a long time, I'm able to follow a recipe and get great results but I want to get a better understanding of the basic ingredients yeast and flour so I can tweak and improve my baking.
Yeast: I want to try fresh yeast. I have been told that I need to use twice as much (by weight than I would instant yeast, does this vary recipe to recipe, if I'm doing something that needs a long proof will I need to adjust this ratio, or is it a static ratio based on the amount of active yeast per gram?
Also I know fresh yeast can be unreliable, are there other downsides or applications that Instant yeast woukd yield a superior result?
Flour: Thanks to hyper inflation the price of my usual cheap flour has doubled, where as some premium flours have only increased (relatively) marginally. So I thought seem as the price difference is much smaller I'd give it a try. But when I checked the website I found a list of information I'd never seen before,
Protein % (N x 6.25) Water absorption % Ash content % Falling number (hagberg, seconds W index value P/L ratio
What do these mean, and how can I use this information to improve my bakes/refine my recipes?
Thanks in advanced

Hello, I am a 25 year old (M) and I’m having a really hard time getting over my ex. A little backstory but her and I met through a mutual friend and kinda rushed into the relationship. It eventually got to the point where she asked me to move in with her. It was a tough choice because she lived in a completely different state (her city had MILLIONS more people than my little hometown) but I really liked her and took the chance. It was rocky at first, but we really started to hit a stride and fall in love with each other. She became my best friend and a great support system. I was there for her and she was there for me, we traveled (something I really never did) ate new food, everything. It was hard leaving all my friends and family, but I also needed to find a job in my field and I finally found it in this new city! I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life then those moments. Since it was hard for me at first to make friends, she introduced me to her friend that had a boyfriend who was super extrovert (I’m kinda shy so it worked). He was a super cool dude and was the kinda guy to bring you into a conversation if you were feeling left out. We hung out with them at least once a week and planned so many trips around us as couples. Then, out of nowhere he died in a accident. I had never dealt with anything like this in my life so I shut down. Of course our friend group feel apart as well. His girlfriend moved to a different state, the other guys I talked to kinda did the same thing and started isolating. My ex was big on going out, so this became a problem. She started hanging with her single friends and I’m sure you know where this is going. That winter also we had a huge fight over going to see my family (they suck yes but I still have to visit at least once a year). We didn’t know at the time but she had a problem with her IUD that was messing with her hormones really bad. She was going through a lot, but we didn’t know at the time. She was really crabby with me all the time (also because I wasn’t going out) but at the same time I needed some time to heal. She would constantly tell me how much she hated me and regretting dating me. I took a lot of it to heart and it fucked with my head bad, even after we found out she was sick. Anyways, after about 4 months after my friend died I started wanting to do things and go out again, but my ex started acting weird. She used to always tell me how much I meant to her and how much she loved me, but then she started saying things like “yeah, I hope it works out” and things like that. Anyways the week before the Super Bowl I randomly asked her if she was ok and she broke up with me out of nowhere. I was shocked and devastated, we just were starting to go out every week again, but it was too late. I asked why and she said it was for multiple reasons, I didn’t make enough money (I had gotten a new job but never missed payments, also had to pay for my college unlike her so she wasn’t used to being with someone that didn’t have 6 figured in his bank account), I wasn’t there for her when she was going through her IUD problem (I held her hand through every appointment, procedure, everything) and she said she hated the dog (she was a bad dog, but it was just because she was a puppy). I broke down because of all this, it tore me up. I’ll say I handled it wrong but I became super depressed after she said all of this. I guess she felt bad and said we could work on it, so we did. We set goals, for me and the dog. I had $300 training set up for her and everything. Anyway, the Super Bowl came around and we decided to host. Of course she brought her single friend group, who none of which thanked me for making ALL the food, hell almost all of them didn’t even say hi to me. Like the pathetic man I am I invited what few friends I had,picture just two dudes and someone’s girlfriend, and we had the party. Towards the end of it, most had left and my ex was in the kitchen talking to her friends while I was on the couch 10 feet away talking to mine while the game was playing loudly on the tv. I then heard one of her friends say “wait you got his number? He’s so cute!” As they began to celebrate. It then hit me like a ton of bricks that she broke up with me randomly because she met this new guy. I kept my composure and waited till everyone left before I made a scene. She of course lied at first and said how she shut him down and only talked to him because she thought he was gay. She sweared on multiple family members lives and when I pulled up her deleted text she had been talking to him for a month up to this point. No mention of me, just talking about how hot they thought each other was and how they needed to see each others places soon. He was apart of that single girls group so they all loved him anyways. To speed up the story, me and the dog moved out, I had to hand move alllllll my stuff a shitty hotel until my apartment was ready. We blocked each other on everything, and it’s been over 4 months since it happened. At first I was doing really bad, I’ve lost 40 pounds (not in a good way) during this and it’s really messed with my confidence as I used to be built. I started doing better for a little, but now I’m back to not being able to sleep because I miss her. I know I sound stupid, but I don’t think she was a bad person at all. I think with the hormone problems, our friends death, she just made a poor decision. I guess the advice I need is how do I go on? I feel like her life is continuing fine if not better (the guy she cheated on me with was making a lot of money, something she really cares about). Meanwhile my life is horrible, like literally horrible. I have a couple friends in this city but not many. Dates make me feel dead inside. I have my dog, who btw has turned a complete 180 and now helps me so much but she’s super expensive and paying for a whole vet bill is different than paying half. Everyday it just feels like whatever I do it isn’t fun anymore. I used to love biking, now I get bored 5 minutes in or don’t even want to go at all. Can’t get a gym membership cause my dog barks when she hears my roommates and I can’t lose this place. It really feels like my life is over or near done. I’m regressing, but trying to improve and it’s still not helping at all. I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I miss her

Please Support this story on nosleep here.
The common consensus on what a curse even is can be ambiguous, so many cultures and ideas reframe and retool to fit the central tenets of their thematic cores. One thing is common amongst all interpretations however, their aim is to cause harm. One might wonder at what point is a curse conceived, not just the rituals and requirements that are needed to conjure a curse. No, what is it that makes up a curse, what feeds it? Some might answer hate or jealousy, and while those might be true for some. For me, the curse I bore and the curses I will bear are made up of one thing. Resentment.
I first noticed its infection one morning while getting dressed for classes. Running my fingers along the slight depression brought out goosebumps. It was slightly tender and if I pressed on it hard it elicited a painful pinch that caused my insides to tangle in panic. Withdrawing my fingers to inspect them I noted a slickness I couldn’t account for. A slight black tint colored my fingertips and I quickly rinsed them under hot water but it did little to wash away the wave of anxiety that had come over me. I tried to push it aside, I had classes, term papers, and tests to worry about. I held out until the middle of my 3rd class, by then all I could think about was the series of horrible and fatal medical implications of the indentation. I ran all the way home, body wracked with shivers, and slammed myself inside my dorm bathroom, stripped off my shirt, and took a good look at it. It had gotten deeper, at least 2 centimeters into my chest now. It was where my sternum was, dead center between my two pectoral muscles. I pushed my finger in and it actually gave some, causing a shudder of agony to blossom and ride through every nerve in my body. I spent the rest of the day researching what I could, some stuff about dietary insufficiencies causing swelling and easily depressed skin, but this was different. The anxiety attacks started then and continued for the next few hours. My roommate walked in during the midst of one and saw my huddled form, trying to breathe. I heard the audible click of his tongue and he left.
3 am neared and I still hadn’t escaped that sinking feeling, the one that feels like an endless plunge towards death, and all the while your lungs struggle to pull enough air to fuel a scream. Drowning in plain sight. I looked desperately through Jake’s things and found a bottle of Benadryl. I washed a couple of them down and waited until my eyelids grew heavy. I was barely able to crawl into bed before I fell into a deep slumber. The dreams it brought were bizarre and vivid. I was wandering through a landscape of abandoned suburbs, going from door to door, looking for one that was the right color. It was late into the night when I finally found it, a dim street lamp casting down an amber spotlight in front of a dilapidated two-story with a red door.
The door opened as I walked up to it, revealing a barren living room lit by a corner lamp that flickered every few seconds. At its center was a cobblestone well, ancient and unnerving. I recognized it. I had seen it countless times. On my worst days, I had dreamt of standing before it, yearning for hope or absolution. I had been silent instead, letting all I could not say seep into it. This inverted well, one that fed on despair instead of dreams, was now vibrating, shifting. Something was rising from its depths to greet me and I was ready for it, yearned for it. Black fluid erupted from its opening, spraying the ceiling and walls and splattering across my face.
Somewhere, a scream was reaching a fever pitch. I looked down and saw that my chest had split open and the black fluid was streaming down in a cascade of pitch. An eye blossomed from the depths of that gaping ravine in my chest. It stared, focused, and recognition flooded into the empty white. From the hole in my chest, something was rising - a realization. The screaming… it had been me the whole time.
I jolted awake, the pain in my chest the first thing to greet me. I heaved to suck in a breath and my senses came alive. Next was the sweat-slick coat that had pooled around me and I turned over to flip on a lamp. Light flooded my vision, but still, I was surrounded by darkness. No, not darkness, but stains. Black ink had seemingly spurted from my chest and splattered my bedding and floor. I ran my finger through it, all along my sternum, but I could not find the indentation, nor a source for the fluid.
I got up in a panic, looking around the room. I was alone, my roommate never having returned, but there was a trail of black ooze. I followed the most prominent streak to a corner. There was a lump there, a polished shiny black orb where the oily ooze seemingly seeped from. My heart thundered as I approached it, I swore I thought I saw it twitch. I was in the middle of my hands and knees crawling towards it when it jerked, moved, and stood.
I fell back on my ass letting out a half yelp, frozen as my gaze locked with it. It was the size of a rabbit, its tar-black skin reflective and polished. It had these beady eyes that were somehow darker than the rest of its body, and it waddled forward on stubby legs no longer than two inches. It had arms too, stubs too, and they reached for me. I was scooting away from its path when it spoke in a pained and squeaky voice as if its anatomy was ill-fitted for human speech, even its grasp of human words was feeble.
“No harm. I’m an ally.”
“What?” I couldn’t help but respond.
“You fed me, so now I repay you?”
“How? In what way? What are you?”
It blinked as if contemplating how to answer my barrage of questions. It didn’t have a mouth, but it spoke regardless. There was distance to its voice, so I was certain that it didn’t speak directly to my mind, but then again I didn’t even think that was possible until now.
“I am grown, don’t know from where, or why. I think I could be a tool or weapon. I eat bad feelings, but I was left with no one around to feed me. Then you came and fed me, for a long time. Now I’m finally strong enough to repay.”
“Repay me how?”
“I have fed on the dark of your heart. I know what it desires, I can take the shape of a curse,” it said
“You’re going to curse me? As repayment?”
“No, that’s not what was in your hearts. Yes, you hated yourself, but you hate others more. I can be the curse you cast on them.”
Something clicked in place and made its way closer to my mind, but didn’t bridge the distance entirely. It spoke, knew that I’d ask it how.
“Pick the kind of curse. I can be misfortune, blindness, madness… even death, a killing curse,” it said.
I reached towards it, even as its body distorted and elongated and reshaped into a foot-long, skinny, jagged oily centipede. I froze but it skittered forward, crawled across the back of my hand, and wrapped around my wrist. It tickled my skin, slick but warm. Almost uncomfortably so.
“Pick the kind of curse you want me to be, and feed me to whom you want to inflict. It’s easy, but curses burn up in daylight if not attached. You’ll have a few hours past dawn before I turn to ash.”
It fell silent afterward as if slumbering, but I couldn’t sleep. I sat in the corner thinking, watching the black stains left by the living curse dry up and evaporate into nothing. I had to look periodically at the oily centipede wrapped around my wrist to remind myself that I wasn’t dreaming, but all it did was convince me that I had careened off the precipice of sanity into some functional hysteria. I sat there until the sun rose, and like a clockwork mechanism, I got dressed and went to class. I was on autopilot, more depersonalized than I had ever felt before I watched myself go through the motions of my life. It should have been a cry for help, you could see it spelled out clearly as day and no one could have missed it. But they did - or rather, they chose to ignore it, because that was what you were supposed to do with people like me. Dull rage set in and it was what I stewed in as the hours ticked by, a building fury that could have blown but only boiled over and settled into dejected acceptance. I was ready to leave it at that, to let myself fade into a shadow like I had my entire life. To give up and crawl away to some recess, never to be found. But the searing pain of dozens of clawed insect legs digging into my flesh brought back presence of mind “Now. Now! Now! NOW!” a voice chirped. I ran into a storage closet, barred the door, and pulled back the sleeve that hid the living curse.
“What is it, are you about to die?”
“Not die, return. Back to the labyrinth. Pick a curse now, feed me to your enemy, before I disappear and all you’ll be left with is ash.”
“And if I haven’t picked anyone? If I don’t want to hurt anyone?”
“Then let me burn in the light, let me go, never visit my well, never feed me again. Move forward from your life, move away from me, and you’ll be free of me”
It could be that easy to rid myself of this wretched thing. I thought about my day, my life, and the people closest to me. I couldn’t let go, not when they had all walked by ashamed or indifferent, or worst of all, fearful. I had done nothing and they feared me.
“I won’t let it go, I can’t. I don’t know what I’ll do, but I can’t move on from this. I can’t give you up, but I can’t choose someone to suffer you.”
“Then eat me.”
I looked at the wriggling centipede confused, black fluid dripping from its body.
“If you eat me, you inflict the curse upon yourself. Not at full potency, but I’ll live until you’re ready to choose. If you hate enough, if you have the resolve, you can cast a shadow of my curse on all who meet your gaze, but you must hurry, my time… fades.”
“I don’t know what to pick. I don’t want to suffer.”
“Then pick the curse that causes the least pain.”
“Which is? I don’t know, pick for me!”
“I am delirium, now eat me, before it’s too late.”
I didn’t notice any change in the curse, except for the small cracks appearing in its carapace and the fraying of its antenna. I hesitated until a large crack formed across its back; at that moment, I hoisted it up and opened my mouth wide, closing my eyes as I lowered it. It did the rest of the work, jerking free of my grip and slithering down my throat with brute force, trailing that oily substance, I gagged, screamed, tears ran and I choked. But once it was down and settled I was alone in that room, nothing different.
Until I stepped out, and it began. A blurring of the world, where every sound was too sharp and grating, every color too vibrant. My head was swelling with immense pressure as it was filled with hundreds of trivial conversations, all spewing from the mouths of every student and professor in this wing. I couldn’t handle it, so I ran, flinging the doors open to the outside.
Except outside wasn’t outside, no, the doors opened up to a hallway I had been trying to forget all my life, framed with pictures of me and my family. I turned, hoping I could reach the living room so I could leave through the front door but what faced me was another room, one I had forgotten about until now. A barred door, walls burned black, stained with soot and char. A sound jolted me back around, the sound of a belt being unbuckled and fabric hitting the floor. Panic rose within me and I felt like I was in free fall, plummeting from astral orbit, through the earth's crust, and straight into the pits of hell. Except I wasn’t. No, I was in my middle school nurse's office. The scent of floor polish and cheap perfume tickled my nose.
“If it hurts you can stop it anytime, you know? Just change your habits, it’s not that hard,”
Ms. Rena, my middle school nurse, was talking to me. I stared into her eyes, and the world quieted and came into focus. They were green, as beautiful as emeralds. I couldn’t help but stare at them every chance I got. They brought forth feelings within me I had never felt before, an awakening. I blinked and they were burning now, bright green flames that sloughed the flesh from her face and I turned away and screamed. The scream pitched, bent, and distorted into a siren, ascending and descending endlessly. I don’t know how long I was caught in its loop but I couldn’t cling onto a single coherent thought longer than a second, as if my mind had been partitioned half a dozen times and all were battling for the sphere of influence that was my perception.
Then clarity, or an illusion of such. In reality, it was only a fleeting break from the delirium, long enough for me to gather my faculties so that the second dive into madness would hurt just that much more. But time was relative here, stretching out longer than it had any right to. The curse was there, in the hallway of my dorm, no longer a centipede but a tall humanoid thing, seemingly made of old motor oil.
“What’s happening? What did you do to me?!” I pleaded.
“You are suffering the curse of delirium. You chose this, remember?” it said, its voice no longer airy and whistling, like a bird’s. Its speech was no longer jilted and tenuous. Now when it spoke, its voice was deep and full of power.
“You said it would be weaker, subdued.”
“This is subdued, I’m a powerful curse after all.”
“What are you? Where do you come from, I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know, I’m searching for the answer myself. I was malnourished for so long that my mind splintered, I suffered my own madness, and I just know bits and pieces now. I know that in the city of Cradle, the word they call me means ‘Demon Seed’. That’s all I know of my identity.”
“I-I didn’t want this,”
“You’ll grow accustomed to it, with time. Not fully, if you could ignore the delirium it wouldn’t be much of a curse. If it’s too much for you to handle, if the pain is unbearable, you can always make it go away.”
“How?”
“Expel me from your body, feed me to someone else, or let the sun take me.”
I exhaled long and slow, and felt the prickling at the corner of my mind. The madness was near, but all I could feel was anger. At the curse, at myself, at the world. I turned away and faced a world of static and incomprehensible whispers, deafening and all-consuming. I collapsed into myself, held my hands to my ears, and balled into the fetal position. It did little to shut out all that was happening, but it did dull it for a moment until a quiet, throaty keening cut through and pierced my mind directly. I imagined a small undying animal having an army knife stab them at consistent intervals, the pace changing periodically so it could never get used to the pain. And then the violence was reflected onto me except there was no perpetrator. An invisible force sliced into the flesh of my sides, my back, until I was ridden with countless wounds. The pain spurred me to crawl forward on all fours, hoping to escape it but it was endless. I was bleeding so much, black blood, my blood was black. I laughed, then cried, and then crawled forward as the stabbings continued, except now the pain had dulled into an ache that still caused my breath to hitch.
I crawled for what seemed like hours, never getting used to the barrage of thoughts, images, and sounds, all the while the stabbing refused to stop. Even after my body had been shredded to ribbons and I had been bled of all its blood it continued, lazily now, as if the invisible force had grown tired but not enough to cease. Then I hit a wall, flesh, thin, like an amniotic sac, and on impulse I pushed through into it, harder and harder until it started to rip. Somewhere someone was breathing heavily, no more than one, with a rising rhythm and intensity, like a panic attack reaching its peak. I struggled forward, trying to break the damn thing, but it would not give. I was exhausted and so collapsed into it as if sleeping, but time passed and sleep did not come. But the end of the breathing did, once it reached a fever pitch. I shifted, realizing the stabbing had stopped, trying to move but then of all times the amniotic sac burst and I fell into whatever lay beyond it.
I was in my dorm room, a break in the madness. I was free for a moment, act, I had to act. Dawn was starting to peek through the window blinds. I stood up and froze, seeing what the rays of light were cast onto. My roommate Jake lay in his bed, naked. A woman just as naked was wrapped around him, body slick with sweat, its scent perfuming the room. He had seen me suffering, in the midst of a panic attack, left me to cope with it alone, and when I hadn’t returned he took the chance not to look for me or tell anyone, instead using it for his own benefit. Anger coursed through my veins, a fresh injection of hate kicking me into action. I opened my mouth and with my pointer finger and thumb reached in, the curse met me halfway and slid into position. I gripped it and pulled it, hand over hand now as a seemingly endless centipede being expelled from my stomach. I looked at the black segmented body, it writhed and moved in such a way that it reminded me a bit of an umbilical cord, and in a way, it was. A curse was being birthed, having grown stronger after I had housed and fed it with my own being. It was time to cut the cord then, I walked over to the pair as I pulled the last of the length free.
The curse popped out like a cork, sending a spray of black fluid across the couple. Droplets of varying sizes landed and stained the woman’s breasts, most of it pooling in between them at her sternum. I stifled a laugh as that’s where I had first gestated this curse. I looked at Jake, the black spray had stained his face, beard, and clavicle, and a particularly large globule resting upon his lower lip. I shifted my gaze to the wriggling centipede before me. It was at least four feet long now and twice its original width.
I shuddered, clarity flooded over me, and at that moment I realized that sometimes clarity was just perspective. I thought I knew suffering, thought I knew what it meant to shuffle through every day dreading that the next day would be more of the same. But the inescapable madness brought a new understanding to me. I could have changed. At any point in time, I could have ended my ostracization. Sure, it was socially imposed, but it was not an incurable delirium. Follow the rules, conform, and you’ll be mostly fine, you can make the hurt stop anytime you want. So why didn’t I, why can’t I now at this very moment? I knew now that it was because it would be a rejection of self, the world goes on and on about how you should be yourself. That in itself was a virtue lauded and held up as one of the most important facets of existence. But now I know what they really meant was “Operate within the constantly shifting parameters of acceptability - fail to adhere, evolve or predict, and you are a threat.” The true self that others reveled in evaded people like me, instead we had to construct a facade we passed off as real in order to thrive.
But so many didn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t. How could they? It was all they knew, how could you discard that which defined them, the filter of their reality? I know what I am now, a worm that slinked through grime and lived in darkness, and when others took me and held me to the light, saying, “See, this is how you should be, and why you should be, it’s for the better of everyone,” it didn’t bring me to enlightenment, but to resentment and hate. I knew what I could do to make them see more than just a freak, a threat, but unconsciously I never took the steps because I knew only what it was to exist within the margins, in a periphery. An exile imposed by all, including myself.
I held the curse higher, feeling grateful that I had survived it, suffered it, and was blessed by its clarity. Light streamed in now as the sun crossed the horizon into a bright morning. The curse was still, despite the lethal light upon it. Let it go and move on, or revel in it? I looked back down at the pair, at Jake. He was an acceptable version of me, softly rebellious. Had thoughts, beliefs, mannerisms, and behaviors that neared the boundaries but never crossed them. Scruffy-faced, soft-eyed, short hair spikey and messy but never disheveled, charming in an irreverent way, unassuming cock but he fucked like a jackhammer obviously. An outsider that wasn’t really an outsider, he never was the great other that haunted dreams and fueled paranoia. I held the curse out in front of them and spoke to it.
“Your choice, Demon Seed. Wither in the sun, or choose one to torment. I don’t care which.”
It was still for a moment before diving into Jake's mouth. Silently, effortlessly, it slipped inside him and was gone. I walked out of the room, legs wobbling a bit, I was riding a high I had never felt before.
Jake was dead by the end of the month, he had been institutionalized until he wasn’t and then he stumbled onto train tracks. Rest is history, no body left to bury. His girlfriend, lover, or whatever the fuck was the one to break the news to me. Thought because I was his roommate I cared or at least should care. It was a few weeks later when I felt that sting and oil-slick fluid in my sternum, Demon Seed, the curse had enjoyed itself.
Twice more I’ve birthed a curse, let it choose its victim, let Demon Seed choose its form. He is the shaky finger of tragedy that strikes without cause or rhyme, deliriously pointed at someone, anyone. And I am the great well of resentment that feeds him. We are the what world needs, a calamity, the great other, something to fear, something to hate. And with each glare and impassioned condemnation, the curse grows stronger within me.
TW

It's been over a year since the original 100 Great Albums post. Since December 2021, I've listened to 375 Rock albums in total (just for fun, I'm getting paid for this!). Looking back at the original albums, I noticed I have a few with only 1 or 2 listens, whereas now I always try to aim for 3 at the minimum. So as this is a good midpoint (as I plan on stopping at the 20th post), I decided to revisit these certified classic albums and maybe upgrade/downgrade the ratings after more listens. I'll continue to edit grades on other posts if my opinion changes on them later on, but the 100 list got so popular that I feel like it should be left unedited.
Here's the format: Album (year) original grade [orig. Listens] // NEW GRADE {additional listens}

1. Bob Dylan - Freewheelin' Bob Dylan (1963) B+ [2 listens] // A- {1 listen} More time to digest his lyrics only makes it better. Hard Rain, Blowin in the Wind and Masters of War are still the best here. He had the wisdom and poise of a 70+ year old man, as a 22 year old...
   
2. Bob Dylan - Bring It On Home (1965) A- [3 listens] // A+ {2 listens} I can't overemphasize how great side two is of this album is. The songs aren't as musical as side one, so the lyrics are center stage and Bob Dylan ALWAYS captivates your attention. The electric guitar side is even better than I originally thought, but man does the second side has some of his best songwriting.
   
3. The Beatles - Help! (1965) B+ [3 listens] // A- {1 listen} This is the album where I think they started making legit "respectable" music. The early Pop music they made before is nice, but it's not that fulfilling. The variety made this age very well: Hide Your Love Away, Ticket to Ride, Seen a Face, Dizzy Miss Lizzy, Help!, Yesterday. It doesn't help that every album that followed it is considered one of the greatest albums of all time, but at this point, it was head and shoulders their best.
   
4. Beatles - Rubber Soul (1965) A++ [5 listens] // A+ {4 listens} Highway 61 Revisited gets the credit as being the album to kick off the Rock renaissance of the 60s, but imo, the "album arms race" started with this one. Without it, the musical landscape isn't the same as the concept of an entire album of worthy material wouldn't have been as widely adopted. With the praise out of the way... it's pretty one note. A great Folk Rock album, but as it's often compared to other albums (cough Pet Sounds), it doesn't hold a candle to them.
   
5. The Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour (1967) B+ [3 listens] // A {3 listens} This is fun, bro. No it's not a legendary album, hell, it's not really a fully formed one as it's really a soundtrack compilation album. But looking at all the songs, they're just fun. Even a half assed Beatles album is still incredible (no I haven't listened to Yellow Submarine, why do you ask?).
   
6. The Doors - Self-Titled (1967) A- [2 listens] // A++ {3 listens} Wow, this is why multiple listens are super important. Many of the songs I thought were "so so" are so much better compared to other Blues Rock I've heard so far. Ray Manzarek is a god on the keys and Jim Morrison is pretty magnificent on every song. It still feels dated, as it's not super complex in it's song structure (like in LA Woman), but every song is great. JUST short of a masterpiece.
   
7. The Who - Tommy (1969) B [1 listen] // D++ {1 listen} I was being generous on the original post, I really didn't like this album. After one more listen, I really hate it. The story is complete nonsense and the music really doesn't make up for it. But that's not why I hate it so much; it's the length. If you're gonna be a late 60's mess, be your flamboyant mess and get in & get out. But it's an overly long, drawn out, bore of an album. It's mind boggling that anyone would prefer this over Quadrophena. Pinball Wizard is a great song tho, but don't tell anyone I said that.
   
8. King Crimson - In The Court of the Crimson King (1969) A- [1 listen] // A {1 listen} listening to Moody Blues' Days of Future Passed made this album a better listen. That jazz prog rock, with a laid back feel instead of completely psychedelic. The rest of the album (outside the intro) was a better listen this time around with better context, as I remember being bored with much of it. Now that I'm familiar with early Prog Rock, this doesn't feel as foreign anymore.
   
9. The Beatles - Let It Be (1970) B+ [3 listens] // A {3 listens} yea, I'm a Beatles stan. Yea, it's probably the weakest Studio Era album. Yea, I enjoy the atmosphere of this album more than the music itself; as a last who-rah of a crumbling friendship that can only be held together by creating music, as that is where the only fun is still found amongst these guys. Do I like to pretend that Don't Let Me Down is apart of this album, so I can grade it higher? Also, yea.
   
10. David Bowie - Hunky Dory (1971) A+ [2 listens] // A {2 listens} this is Art Rock. Not being a glam/hard rock fusion makes it less heavy than its successor. It also suffers for not having multiple strong anthems to hold the entire thing. Changes, Life on Mars, Andy Warhol, Queen Bitch are all great songs, but I doubt any are in Bowie's top 5. The other songs don't hold up as much I remembered.
    
11. Carole King - Tapestry (1971) A- [2 listens] // A {2 listens} Joni Mitchell's Blue was the driving force this time around. That personal folk storytelling, with that lively piano yet cozy, warm atmosphere. With more listens, I don't really love the lyrical composition as I just love the tone of the thing. I can sit next to a warm fire (or on a window sill) and turn this on and relax. I understand what the genre of Soft Rock is going for now.
    
12. David Bowie - the Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1972) A+ [2 listens] // Masterpiece {3 listens} Probably didn't give this one too much thought when grading it, as I think I just fell in love with a few songs on it and forgot about the rest. Listening to this front to back... it's flawless. I tried to find a song that wasn't good or that was kinda boring, but they're all perfect. I've listened to Ziggy Stardust and Starman COUNTLESS times in the past year, and will randomly get guitar riffs from random songs off this album to pop in my head. Of his 4 albums I've listened to, I still think Low is his best, as the atmosphere of that Side B is unmatched. But this album is what I'd consider objectively perfect, as every song is great. Easy masterpiece, and a great example of why sitting with an album is just as important as giving it a bunch of listens.
    
13. Queen - A Night at the Opera (1975) A- [2 listen] // A {2 listens} Fun stuff. I enjoyed the multiple vocalists being apart of it instead of only Mercury, made it feel like a "stage play" with a revolving cast. I think I might have been a bit to harsh on this one, as most of the album wasn't that memorable, with how amazing Bohemian Rhapsody is. I didn't understand what this album "was" with it's vaudeville style, but now, I see that it's this halfway point between the Hard Rock and the Prog Rock of the 70s, with that theatrical flair to make it standout. Definitely worth checking out.
    
14. Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols (1977) B [2 listens] // A- {2 listens} In 1987, Rolling Stone listed this as the 2nd best album of the last 20 years (since 1967) only after Sgt. Pepper's and man, did that made it easy for me to view this as overrated. I think since listening to more Punk Rock that followed this, I start to see how much better they've done with this compared to others. The guitar playing actually changes throughout the song, Johnny Rotten is actually expressive and feels spontaneous, and the drumming is creative. But the real change in opinion is the guitar playing: the riffs on many of these songs are undeniably awesome, which gives Rotten so much to work on top of. My biggest gripe with Punk Rock is how repetitive some bands can be. Now after more listens to this, I can absolutely NOT say the same can be said about this album. It's varied and expressive; how Punk Rock should be.
    
15. Steely Dan - Aja (1977) A [1 listens] // A+ {1 listen} better than I remember. The jazz rock combo is really good, it really leans into the jazz instead of simply using it as an aesthetic. It's not Prog whatsoever, just jazz with traditional Rock instruments. Honestly, you can barely tell if this would considered Rock at all. You really got to like jazz to love this tho. It has that free flowing feel of that genre, from the instrumentation to the flow of the singer. Great album! I'm assuming Steely Dan is hated by the rock community because of this heavy leaning into jazz. Which is understandable, but that doesn't mean they don't make phenomenal music.
    
16. AC/DC - Highway to Hell (1979) B+ [2 listens] // B {1 listen} They haven't quite moved away from the Blues sound yet. Back in Black is a pure distillation of what Hard Rock should be as a stand alone genre, but they don't quite have that confidence in being that brash yet. Bon Scott does a lot of heavy lifting as Angus Young doesn't have that swagger in his solos yet. A lot of the songs aren't super great, but they at least still carry energy. Highway to Hell is a fantastic song, but the majority is just meddling around in this laid back blues style.
    
17. Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms (1985) B [1 listens] // B- {2 listens} I originally wrote this off as one that I "just didn't get", with how insanely commerically successful it is. Now after listening to their Self-Titled album, it actually becomes even more disappointing as you know how much more they're capable of. There's such a signature style on it and this throws all of it away in exchange of a 80s soft rock sound. Walk of Life and So Far Away are good tunes, due to the guitar hooks; everything else is just shallow.
    
18. Pixies - Doolittle (1989) A- [2 listens] // A+ {2 listens} Now, I view this band on the level of the Beatles or Velvet Underground as one of those influential bands that changed music. At the time, Doolittle was too weird for me, but with much more context from this era, this is just insanely great. Compared to Surfer Rosa, the versatility is on a different level. While it is great and varied, it's not exactly "great" in any one area, so I can see why the bands that were influenced by them are viewed as better, as their stuff would've been more focused in one style instead of all over the place. Great album, legendary band.
    
19. Alice in Chains - Dirt (1992) A [2 listens] // Masterpiece {4 listens} This album is a grower. Every time I listen to it, I like another song from it. The harmonies are God tier, the guitar riffs, God Tier, the choruses, God tier. Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell... peanut and jelly. I've given out 2 masterpieces to grunge albums (Nevermind and Ten), so what makes this different from those is that Dirt takes its time in developing songs. So many of these songs start slow and somber, and quickly turn aggressive and passionate! Gnarly riffs on one song, than a few minutes later, you're listening to soft vocals behind a rough, tortured voice. Not a bad song on here, hit after hit, I got to say it's a masterpiece.
    
20. Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral (1994) A [3 listens] // A+ {2 listen} the word "gritty" might get thrown around a ton by me, but I still haven't heard such a brutal, harsh sounding album while still having pristine production value. It's nasty and mean. Even in the slow moments, you can feel the pain, anger, or sadness in his voice. Compared to other stuff, it doesn't have that much replay value to it, as it's not exact what one would call "musical". But you got to call it what it is: art.
    
21. Green Day - Dookie (1994) A [2 listens] // A+ {1 listen} It's just good music. Yes, the ceiling isn't as high as it could be, but it's so enjoyable that it is always a fun listen. The album is on point from start to finish, it's one of those "if you like one, you like it all" love it or hate it kind of deals. From Burn Out to When I Come Around is just Pop Punk perfection; the backhalf doesn't hold up compared to the start, but it's all still very good.
    
22. Weezer - Self-Titled "The Blue Album" (1994) A- [1 listen] // A {2 listens} I only gave this one listen and only revisited it after listening to Pinkerton. Isn't not as dismissable as I originally remembered, as I only gave it one listen. It's more POP- punk thank pop-PUNK compared to Dookie, which led me to not care for it as much. And it's pretty good pop, with a punk style to give it some edge, I guess. I still like Pinkerton more than it, but it can definitely stand alone as a good album itself.
    
23. Oasis - Definitely Maybe (1994) A [2 listens] // A+ {2 listens} Liam Gallagher is really good... but Noel Gallagher is the truth, bro. That dude knows how to make a great song. They aren't super complex, but they're all have perfect execution. Mix in that Wall of Sound effect with the guitars, it makes this stand out even more from the overwhelming stacked albums of the 90s. The non-single tracks aren't as strong compared to (What's the Story) Morning Glory?, as that album is damn near perfect imo. Great debut album.
    
24. Radiohead - The Bends (1995) B+ [1 listen] // A {2 listens} If Radiohead didn't make this album, I highly doubt I would've listened to this. Which is a shame, because this is a really good album. On the flip side, being a Radiohead album also did more harm than good, as it gets massively overshadowed. I admittedly did a half assed listen to "get to the famous stuff". Fake Plastic Trees, the Bends, and Black Star are great songs. I've listened to Ok Computer so much that I come to think of it as their official "start" of their sound, when in reality, they set the stage on The Bends of what can be possible down the road. Also, they toured with Alanis Morissette with the album, so extra bonus points!
    
25. Arcade Fire - Funeral (2004) A- [2 listens] // A+ {2 listens} better than I remembered. I definitely thought it was borderline pretentious, with how the song structure is when I originally listened to it. Now, without that stigma, it's not THAT abstract and I've come to admire the creativeness of it. I always love when there's women vocalists, to mix up the sound and so many different instruments add even more to the variety. It always feels like a new listen, with how many things I'll forget to notice and remember again.
    
26. Lcd Soundsystem - Sound of Silver (2007) A- [1 listen] // A {2 listens} The first 4 songs are awesome; Get Innocuous with it's multirhythmic layering is my textbook PERFECT song, a 21st century "Remain in Light" homage. The rest just loses this energy and it's never found again. Compare the first track with the last one and it sounds like two different projects. I know you can call me a hypocrite with how much I love Remain in Light, but at least with that one, it's only the last song and not half of the album. Seriously tho, Get Innocuous is a top 10 song of all time
    
27. Tame Impala - Currents (2016) A- [1 listen] // B+ {1 listen} Didn't expect my feelings to decrease, but compared to Lonerism, this is so mid. The lack of a real "great" song (Rihanna's Same Old Mistakes clears) makes it tough to love. It is consistent though, so it's still a good listen; just not a memberable one.
    

Albums I revisited, but no change in opinion. I feel like with these, I need to explain/defend myself more than I did on the original reviews:

1. Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (1965) A+ [4 listens] // {3 listens} After listening to a good chunk of their discography, I've come to two conclusions on Pet Sounds: 1) This album is truly lightning in the bottle as they NEVER reach it's level of consistency in quality from track to track. 2) Baroque Pop, while groundbreaking, came and went as fast as it arrived, mainly due to how abstract it is compared to its successor, Psychedelic Rock. Beyond that, there are a few skips that are solely due to wild creative mind of Brian Wilson. As a musical genius, dare I say better than Lennon and McCartney, but as a songwriter? Not even close imo. Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt. Pepper's are all great albums, while Pet Sounds can be argued to be their only great album (Wild Honey is also a good listen). I know bringing up the Beatles can be annoying, but the Beatles made great "hit singles" with their song layout, while about only half of the tracks on Pet Sounds are what I'd consider a traditional song. That's probably why I don't think it's so amazing (I kinda feel the same about progressive Rock) as I tend to favor music with a concise structure; even as unoriginal the structure may be.
   
2. Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced? (1967) B+ [1 listen] // {1 listen} I can't get into it. The songwriting isn't there, especially compared to the stuff that would follow it. This is him at his rawest, but it's a reason why Medium Rare is the most commonly cooked steak.
   
3. The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed (1969) B+ [2 Listens] // {3 listens} Thought I would flip on this album, but surprisingly didn't change at all. I still think Gimme Shelter is the best Rolling Stones song and I still think You Can't Always Get What You Want is still a phenomenal album closer, but everything in between is pretty lackluster (besides Live With Me).
   
4. Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon (1973) A [4 listens] // {1 listen} I do enjoy this album more now I know how other Progressive Rock bands sound like, but not enough to raise it a grade. I enjoy Time and the whole second side much more and the "emptiness" of the genre doesn't bother me as much. But the first half is still a little too abstract for my liking. However, I do see how people can view this as their GOAT album with how groundbreaking it's release was at the time and outside of only other Pink Floyd albums, there's nothing else in this genre that really matches the "entering another world" feel it creates.
   
5. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here (1975) A [2 listens] // {1 listen} Similar thoughts to DSotM, but this one has the more catchy "songs" and partly why I love it more. Welcome to the Machine and Wish You Were Here are fantastic, but overall not enough meat for my liking.
   
6. The Ramones - Self-Titled (1976) B [2 listens] // {2 listens} I decided to give the Godfathers of Punk another try since I surprisingly came over to like the other Godfather, the Sex Pistols. And yeah... still isn't my thing. Way too one note, monotone singing, guitar takes over too much of the sound, etc. There are a few good hooks here and there, but you basically hear the entire song in the first 15 seconds. Everything I hate about Punk, stemmed from this album and made a lazier copy.
   
7. The Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dreams (1993) A+ [2 listens] // {1 listen} apparently the Smashing Pumpkins aren't considered grunge? If that's the case, comparing them to a Noise Rock band like a Sonic Youth or a Faith No More, they don't they don't rock out as much as I'd like. Also, I don't like how a few of these songs sound similar to each other. Today and Hummer of course are all top tier songs, but it's just not as much of a comprehensive project as Mellon Collie. Yea, it's definitely not grunge, as it would be much harder if it was.
   
8. Radiohead - Ok Computer (1997) A++ [2 listens] // {4 listens} Close, but no cigar. The first 3 songs and the last 3 songs are PERFECT, it's the stuff in between that makes it fall just short. The run of Karma Police into Fitter Happier to Electioneering is also a great moment in the album. Honestly, it's just Exit Music being "okay" that really stops it from being considered a masterpiece in my eyes. Still one of the greatest albums of all time, but not perfect in my eyes. This album is my perfect barometer for an A++ grade; it's objectively a perfect, but on the subjective level, there's nothing that makes me "adore" it. I completely understand how anyone thinking an A++ album I graded is a masterpiece, as I have to personally love it that extra step for it to get to that level.
   
9. Radiohead - In Rainbows (2007) A++ [3 listens] // {3 listens A+/A+/A++} Let me end it on a positive review: I didn't really give a thorough listen to it at first, as I don't remember much from it. Over time, my opinion on it dropped as I truly didn't see why people find it so special as they do. Ok Computer easily has the better individual tracks, Kid A is easily the most experimental. After finally revisiting it, maybe because it's a great midway between the two, with a weird electronic-rock-jazz fusion. Feels like there's not a single wasted second; every beat and note is meticulous. It's more chilled and laid back, which threw me off on the repeat listens. The hodgepodge of electronic and experimental sounds, being used in this traditional lofi style instead of being a fast paced one, was the curve that made it hard to love it at first, but now I think that's what makes it unique in its execution. A LOT of these rhythms could have been large and bombastic, and I kinda admire it's restraint in remaining "down in Earth". Also the album cover is noteworthy, where it feels completely spontaneous, never fully knowing what to expect going in. Definitely deserves its high praise
   

Albums I also revisited, but no change in opinion. Don't have too much to add on these, but listed them as my grades are concrete on these compared to the ones I didn't choose to listen to:

1. The Velvet Underground & Niko - Self-Titled "The Banana Album" (1967) A+ // Venus in Furs maybe one of the greatest songs ever composed
   
2. Cream - Disraeli Gears (1967) A+ // It still holds up, so damn awesome
   
3. Bob Dylan - John Wesley Harding (1967) B+ // yeah, he's kinda rambling on this one
   
4. The Stooges - Fun House (1970) A- // it's "the Stooges", possibly their best
   
5. The Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street (1972) B+ // Nope, still didn't love it, still a mess
   
6. Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (1972) A++ // One I thought wouldn't have held up. I shall never question Sir Elton's greatness again
   
7. The Eagles - Hotel California (1975) B // Great start, gets worst as it goes on
   
8. Patti Smith - Horses (1975) A- // labeling this "Punk Rock" is a nicer way of calling this weird af
   
9. The Clash - London Calling (1979) Masterpiece // Not only is there not a bad song here, but every song is perfect. Not great... PERFECT
   
10. U2 - Joshua Tree (1987) B+ // I can't deny that there are some good songs on here, even if I'll never listen to it again
    
11. The Cure - Disintegration (1989) A // after 375 Rock albums, Plainsong is still the greatest opening track
    
12. U2 - Achtung Baby (1991) A- // you gotta admit Bono is pretty cool on this one
    
13. Nirvana - In Utero (1993) A // love the Bass guitar's tone on this one, rawer contrast to Nevermind. I'm glad I didn't grow up in the 90s, as this will always sound so new and fresh to me :)
    
14. System of a Down - Toxicity (2001) Masterpiece // Similar to Hybrid Theory, if this wasn't labeled as "Nu-metal" (and maybe didn't get so overplayed and copied), even the most pretentious critic couldn't deny how great this is
    
15. Green Day - American Idiot (2004) A+ // Feels almost like a different band, the songs are much more nuisanced in its lyrics and its musical structure. That transition from Holiday to Boulevard still gives me goosebumps, such a great song.
    
16. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever You Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006) A++ // a tour guide to the UK nightclubbing/pub scene, way better than it has any right to be honestly
    

Bonus: Ween - 12 Golden Country Greats (1996) A [4 listens B/A-/A-/A] Country is still a somewhat foreign genre for me and I've been kinda bored with the concept of it. But it's Ween, so they've fully earned my trust at this point so I'll give this a try. This style is more or less my biggest indifference with the genre: it's not heavy enough to be impactful as rock, yet not soft enough to be as intimate as Folk. It's in this inbetween grey area where it's just not super captivating for me. With that said, it's rarely has been the "so bad, I can't stand to listen to it" levels of boredom that it has been made out as. That signature tongue-in-cheek humor of Ween is here and it makes the project more enjoyable. With Ween, whether it's supposed to be satirical or serious, the quality of songwriting is always top tier, so it's very easy to take whatever they're doing with my full respect rather than viewing it as just a joke. Japanese Cowboy, Mister Richard Smoker, Powder Blue, Piss Up a Rope and You Were the Fool (the best one) are my favorites; but other than Fluffy, every song is a good time. What really sells this album in particular, is that none of these songs would sound out of place on one of their other Rock centric albums, which allows me to extend a lot more grace towards it. Pretty good listen. For what it is, it's pretty consistent, but there's of course better Ween albums out there.

Hello, PinoyProgrammer, I hope you can give me advice on what I need to do.
As an introduction to myself, I'm a 21 year old male who's taking up computer engineering. This course wasn't in any of my choices but due to my dream course slots being filled, here I am.
I mostly know web development, either front or back, have learned C#, Python, and JavaScript for OOP, and now currently learning Arduino and ESP32 due to my course. Right now, I feel really lost and feeling that I'm falling behind my peers.
That feeling was brought due to consistently seeing a previous OJT workmate's Facebook stories. She's definitely on her path to success in programming. Each day, I see her story have new programming related content. She went from doing bootcamps, joining coding groups and organizations in our school, and now in a building with an AWS sign inside.
I feel envious, because we're both the same age but she's here building a lot of connections and skills in the tech world but I'm not. I want to change that, but I don't know what the habit of a healthy programmer is in learning.
I only attend my classes, do school work, surf the internet, and play games. This point in my life has been the most comfortable after a lot of hardship, but I want to improve my programming skills now.
I need advice and help on what I should do to increase my skills, get more connections, and become successful. I dislike hardware, I prefer software and coding. If there's any workshops, webinars, and bootcamp places you can refer me to go, please put it in the comments or message me. Any form of help will be greatly greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advanced!

Hello, I am a 25 year old (M) and I’m having a really hard time getting over my ex. A little backstory but her and I met through a mutual friend and kinda rushed into the relationship. It eventually got to the point where she asked me to move in with her. It was a tough choice because she lived in a completely different state (her city had MILLIONS more people than my little hometown) but I really liked her and took the chance. It was rocky at first, but we really started to hit a stride and fall in love with each other. She became my best friend and a great support system. I was there for her and she was there for me, we traveled (something I really never did) ate new food, everything. It was hard leaving all my friends and family, but I also needed to find a job in my field and I finally found it in this new city! I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life then those moments. Since it was hard for me at first to make friends, she introduced me to her friend that had a boyfriend who was super extrovert (I’m kinda shy so it worked). He was a super cool dude and was the kinda guy to bring you into a conversation if you were feeling left out. We hung out with them at least once a week and planned so many trips around us as couples. Then, out of nowhere he died in a accident. I had never dealt with anything like this in my life so I shut down. Of course our friend group feel apart as well. His girlfriend moved to a different state, the other guys I talked to kinda did the same thing and started isolating. My ex was big on going out, so this became a problem. She started hanging with her single friends and I’m sure you know where this is going. That winter also we had a huge fight over going to see my family (they suck yes but I still have to visit at least once a year). We didn’t know at the time but she had a problem with her IUD that was messing with her hormones really bad. She was going through a lot, but we didn’t know at the time. She was really crabby with me all the time (also because I wasn’t going out) but at the same time I needed some time to heal. She would constantly tell me how much she hated me and regretting dating me. I took a lot of it to heart and it fucked with my head bad, even after we found out she was sick. Anyways, after about 4 months after my friend died I started wanting to do things and go out again, but my ex started acting weird. She used to always tell me how much I meant to her and how much she loved me, but then she started saying things like “yeah, I hope it works out” and things like that. Anyways the week before the Super Bowl I randomly asked her if she was ok and she broke up with me out of nowhere. I was shocked and devastated, we just were starting to go out every week again, but it was too late. I asked why and she said it was for multiple reasons, I didn’t make enough money (I had gotten a new job but never missed payments, also had to pay for my college unlike her so she wasn’t used to being with someone that didn’t have 6 figured in his bank account), I wasn’t there for her when she was going through her IUD problem (I held her hand through every appointment, procedure, everything) and she said she hated the dog (she was a bad dog, but it was just because she was a puppy). I broke down because of all this, it tore me up. I’ll say I handled it wrong but I became super depressed after she said all of this. I guess she felt bad and said we could work on it, so we did. We set goals, for me and the dog. I had $300 training set up for her and everything. Anyway, the Super Bowl came around and we decided to host. Of course she brought her single friend group, who none of which thanked me for making ALL the food, hell almost all of them didn’t even say hi to me. Like the pathetic man I am I invited what few friends I had,picture just two dudes and someone’s girlfriend, and we had the party. Towards the end of it, most had left and my ex was in the kitchen talking to her friends while I was on the couch 10 feet away talking to mine while the game was playing loudly on the tv. I then heard one of her friends say “wait you got his number? He’s so cute!” As they began to celebrate. It then hit me like a ton of bricks that she broke up with me randomly because she met this new guy. I kept my composure and waited till everyone left before I made a scene. She of course lied at first and said how she shut him down and only talked to him because she thought he was gay. She sweared on multiple family members lives and when I pulled up her deleted text she had been talking to him for a month up to this point. No mention of me, just talking about how hot they thought each other was and how they needed to see each others places soon. He was apart of that single girls group so they all loved him anyways. To speed up the story, me and the dog moved out, I had to hand move alllllll my stuff a shitty hotel until my apartment was ready. We blocked each other on everything, and it’s been over 4 months since it happened. At first I was doing really bad, I’ve lost 40 pounds (not in a good way) during this and it’s really messed with my confidence as I used to be built. I started doing better for a little, but now I’m back to not being able to sleep because I miss her. I know I sound stupid, but I don’t think she was a bad person at all. I think with the hormone problems, our friends death, she just made a poor decision. I guess the advice I need is how do I go on? I feel like her life is continuing fine if not better (the guy she cheated on me with was making a lot of money, something she really cares about). Meanwhile my life is horrible, like literally horrible. I have a couple friends in this city but not many. Dates make me feel dead inside. I have my dog, who btw has turned a complete 180 and now helps me so much but she’s super expensive and paying for a whole vet bill is different than paying half. Everyday it just feels like whatever I do it isn’t fun anymore. I used to love biking, now I get bored 5 minutes in or don’t even want to go at all. Can’t get a gym membership cause my dog barks when she hears my roommates and I can’t lose this place. It really feels like my life is over or near done. I’m regressing, but trying to improve and it’s still not helping at all. I’ve been in therapy this whole time too, hasn’t really done much. Even switched therapist. I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I miss her

DRAGI ZMIJANAC: “It is a challenge to be the leader of this great global movement!” Founder and President of the First Children's Embassy in the World MEGJASHI - MACEDONIA
https://preview.redd.it/1hz5adgry73b1.jpg?width=688&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57bd5ad684d37f617bd81b483439333b081bbb98
INTERVIEW
******
DRAGI ZMIJANAC: “It is a challenge to be the leader of this great global movement!”
*Being a pillar and the head of the First Children’s Embassy in the world MEGJASHI is a feeling and experience that only you a familiar with. There were no working conditions, you were the one who created them over all these past years completely oriented towards children, you were alone against the established rules and patterns of behavior, prejudices, discriminations, institutions, loopholes in the law, and above all the mentality of the environment that we live in, as a transitioning society. MEGJASHI is grounded by the milestones of your struggle for children's rights, you leave values ​​behind you, and traces. What motivated you to embark on this great struggle, maybe the fact that you are a parent yourself?
- In the beginning, we were the three pillars - Gorde, Kole and I, and as time passed, more pillars were built into this global children's movement called the First Children’s Embassy in the world MEGJASHI, which represents children and has been fighting for a fairer world for children for 30 years. Since you already asked me about the feeling and experience that I have experienced throughout all these 30 years, the one thing that I can emphasize is that you cannot build something significant and motivating only if you want it, if you are dedicated and believe in what you are doing. It takes persistence and courage in order to see the outlines of the structure, from the very beginning and in the first few years. Now when I look back, I have to admit to myself that everything has to be earned, through work, belief, perseverance and honesty. When you strongly want something and believe in what you are doing, the Universe has your back. Change does not happen overnight. You need to stand strong, be mobile, resilient to attacks and blows and come out stronger after every battle. Defending and fighting for a fairer world for children is not only difficult, but also inspiring. I saw this challenge as an opportunity to be a driver and leader in this great worldwide movement called the First Children’s Embassy in the world. Recognizable and recognized all over the world. It is the pillar of success. Everything else builds upon it, complements it, changes it and pushes it forward. We are here and exist because we are needed. I often joke when I say that if this embassy, ​​the first one in the world, whose heart is in Macedonia, did not exist, it would have to be invented. And, since it exists and continuously proves itself, creates, creates, it should be selflessly supported and helped. In one of UNICEF's manuals, the author, Ms. Sue Gilbert wrote: “Macedonia is famous for children’s rights, because that’s where the First Children’s Embassy in the world, MEGHASHI, was formed”.
The conditions when we started working to help and support children affected by the war in former Yugoslavia were tense, the war had started. Gordana Pirkovska Zmijanac, who is the initiator and founder of the First Children’s Embassy in the world MEGJASHI, appealed for the care of children affected by the war. At her strong insistence, the editor Ljubisha Nikolovski allowed her to make an appeal for solidarity, for help and care for the children affected by the war, on the prime news block of the Macedonian national television. The appeal reached Macedonian citizens. And that's how it all started. It was on April 12, 1992. While Gordana was on MTV, I was at home, I recorded her appeal, the phone rang continuously, I registered all the calls and requests from citizens to take a child under their in their homes. It was real solidarity and humanity in action. That's how we started, as an informal citizen initiative. Due to the fact that we agitated and mobilized all state institutions and demanded the opening of children's resorts, hotels, etc., we realized that we had to get formalized as an organization. On April 29, we had the Founding Assembly in the “Karposh” Youth Home (Pionerski dom), and we got officially registered as a civil soviety organization at in the Ministry of Internal Affairs, back then, on May 25, 1992. Otherwise, I draw the main motive, inspiration and incentive in this struggle from my childhood. I grew up in conditions of social and educational injustice and neglect. I grew up in a family with a single mother. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. The conditions were hrash. Not to mention bordering on poverty and social injustice. But for me as a person it posed a major challenge - to either become strong or to break down. I chose the fight for justice and it has been my guide all these years in my life. It is my life energy, mission and vision. I know that I was not born by accident and I have a task to do something. At least to change and improve things a little. Injustice affects me. And that's why I'm often rebellious, I speak loudly about it and I'm not afraid to raise my voice. My voice is the echo of millions of children. That's how I bring myself up and enter from one battle to another. I know it's difficult, painful, uncertain, but I'm waiting, I'm patient and I'm watching even the smallest changes as a big step forward towards a fairer world for children.
*It is subtle job to deal with children's rights, first of all you need be familiar with all the laws, as well as the mechanisms of their functioning in reality. At the same time, it is not easy at all, because we live in conditions in which society, instead of facilitating, gives resistance against the citizens and their needs, many rights are violated, and many crimes against children are concealed in a well-organized manner. Did all that resistance scare you, this entire situation around you that created pressure, did it discourage you at times?
- Sometimes I feel that our work stagnates. That's the initial impression. There is an improvement in the defense of children's rights, but the state institutions sometimes seem to shift the responsibility between each other. They are not sufficiently efficient and mobile, they do not implement violence prevention in time, they only impose sanctions when there is a case of incest or death, which is a belated measure. The level of abuse of children in Macedonia is constantly increasing, and this is due to the aggressiveness, loneliness and alienation of children, they are increasingly left to fend for themselves. First of all, the most important thing is that we broke the silence surrounding children's suffering, we spoke publicly about all the problems that children in Macedonia face, which were previously shameful and scary to talk about, we encouraged children to talk about violence, to recognize us as protectors of children's rights, as their advocates. Of course, we have instruments, indicators, how to reach information about the problems that children encounter. In 1993, we opened the SOS telephone line for children and youth, now known as “Hello, Bushavko” 070 390 632. This hotline for children has been operating for 29 years, so far over 21,000 children, parents, guardians, relatives have contacted it to report child abuse, violence, violation of children's rights. We use our mechanisms to resist and often with the help of the media we exert pressure, sometimes we can be even louder than what is expected of us, to push the state institutions into working with maximum functionality and efficiency, in defense of children's rights. To respect the best interest of the child. The motto of the Children’s Embassy MEGJASHI is that “All the ideals in the world are less important than the tears of a child”.
*It has been proven that in order to improve a child's right or at least to initiatite a change, unfortunately, one has to see or experience the worst example or incident. After all, we can't do anything about those sad and devastating facts or terrible statistics, but we can build a fairer children's world on their foundations and on the basis of lessons learned.
- In the fight for a fairer world for children, we upturned many taboos, stereotypes, opened up and initiated the solution to many problems affecting children, prioritized the importance of respecting children's personality and their best interests. We broke the silence about the children suffering from sexual abuse, from physical violence, from the problems they have when their parents’ divorce, from the sadness due to the secrecy of adopted children not having access to their biological parents, from the everyday problems that children encounter, from bullying, from the fact that there are still children without a birth certificate, children whose labor is abused, children who are not included in primary education or are prevented from completing their education. But what worries me the most in recent years is air pollution and the carcinogenic particles that children breathe. Air pollution is one of the leading causes of death in children because that air permanently crosses the blood-brain barrier and permanently damages a child's developing brain. Due to the negligence and absence of measures against the extremely polluted air in Macedonia, the most basic right of the children is violated and threatened - the right to life according to Article 6 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child, which was ratified by the Republic of Macedonia in 1993.
*You were a scanner and with your work you brought to light the fact that, in fact, children are not deviant towards society, but that society is completely upside down towards them. That what they do is, in fact, only a response to the irresponsible behavior of adults and that all of us together bear responsibility.
-Society and state institutions are often deviant towards children. Instead of being their support and help, they often act against their needs and interests. Very often when they do not act properly or act wrongly, the state does not have a mechanism to sanction those who are responsible, but rather protects them. And so the problems only deepen, and the state and institutions become complicit in the dysfunctionality of the system. There are many examples in practice. The alienation between the child and the parent is a deviation that adults and society are responsible for, and such direct and irresponsible behavior affects the proper growth and development of the child. It is difficult for parents from dysfunctional and broken former marital relations after leaving the marital union to be participants in functional and responsible parenting. Joint and responsible parenting even after divorce should be focused on what is most important, which is the best interest of the child. The child should not feel guilty about the divorce and should live a normal life, receiving attention from both parents equally, because the termination of the marital union puts an end to the marriage, but not to the process of parenting. The mother and the father are equally important and significant for the correct growth and development of the child and under no cirscumstances should a child be put in a situation to choose between them. Divorce is the end of marriage, not the end of parening, the child needs love from both parents during the process of growing into a healthy individual to avoid deviant phenomena in adolescence. The child is not to blame for the divorce and must not feel any remorse. The child should not feel guilty about the divorce and should live a normal life, receiving attention from both parents equally, because the divorce of the marital union is the termination of the marriage, but not the termination of parentage. The mother and the father are equally important and significant for the correct growth and development of the child and it should not be put in a situation to choose under any circumstances. Divorce is the end of marriage, not the end of parenthood, the child needs love from both parents during the process of growing into a healthy individual to avoid deviant phenomena in adolescence. The child is not to blame for the divorce and must not feel any remorse.
*Society really swallows up children's rights. The youngest seem to be the most discriminated against and have no way to defend themselves from the adults, unless another adult helps them. Young people need to know that there is a solution to their problem, even though it seems like the whole world has collapsed on them. You indicated this through numerous engagements and campaigns. What would you single out in particular?
- We live in a completely divided society along ethnic, social, educational and any other lines. We live with rude and aggressive, violent behaviors towards those different from ourselves. We live in a segregated society in which students from different ethnic communities study in different schools. Although we each speak our own language, we rarely understand each other when it comes to building trust, shared values ​​and life. That's why we decided to launch the campaign “Foster Peace”, to stir things up and be part of the change, acting both individually and as a civil organization, and on a collective level. At the same time, let's ask the state to be more mobile in terms of what we ask of it, to nurture, build and promote values ​​such as empathy, solidarity, responsibility, dialogue and non-violence.
*Generally, it is a great injustice - with their existence, children paint the world with the warmest and most cheerful colors, and the world often shamelessly paints their childhood in the darkest, gray, sad colors, in the color of tears. We all need to change our attitude towards
children and we must educate them about their rights. You have done a lot in this direction. What is most valuable in all of this?
- One of the most difficult traumas that can happen to a child is sexual abuse. And this trauma is shrouded in silence for many years. But we raised our voices and spoke clearly and loudly about these traumas suffered by the children and sought solutions. Both preventive and punitive. The strong advocacy, support and lobbying of the First Children’s Embassy MEGJASHI for stricter sanctions against sex offenders, incest perpetrators, pedophiles, especially towards children under the age of 14, bore fruit, three out of our four recommendations were accepted and I think that in this way there is an opportunity to put this pathological phenomenon under control, especially when it comes to recidivism. What we advocated for was accepted, drug therapy or chemical castration, a minimum of 15 years in prison, but they did not accept the wearing of electronic bracelets after the pedophile leaves the prison institution. We believe that chemical castration should be mandatory as a measure, especially for recidivists and that it should be established immediately after leaving the prison institution and the pedophile will thus be helped not to repeat the crime, because the Children's Embassy advocates for lifetime in prison for every repeated offender. This is not corporal punishment, because it affects the psyche, i.e. the mental disorder that the pedophile has because he is not able to control his drive and libido, and in this way we believe that we are helping the pedophile, as well as the children, not to commit these crimes again.
*All of the people in the Embassy have experience in all directions, profound, extensive, long-lasting, and each of you can write a thick book of experiences. Can you recall which was the most difficult moment for you in all these 30 years, and which was the brightest and the greatest source of pride?
-”The girl fell on the rolling pin and lost her virginity”, this is how the case of the then nine-year-old girl, who was raped by her mother's friend, ended somehow. Case closed! In cases of sexual offenses, the procedure for determining the origin of the injuries cannot be performed by a gynecologist, but exclusively by a forensic medicine expert. But back then no one reported the case to forensic medicine, where if there had been a case of rape, it would have been discovered due to the specificities of the injuries. It is interesting to note that the two injuries that the gynecologist found could not have been caused by one fall, or even by any rolling pin, but were done on at least two occasions. So, the case was closed, there were neither suspects nor was anyone accused. Macedonia will remain the only country in the world where “virginity is lost by falling on a rolling pin!”
Then, we helped thousands of children affected by the war in the former Yugoslavia, responded to the challenges of rescuing and evacuating children from Bosnia and Herzegovina and taking them into care in Macedonia. We responded to the Kosovo crisis and worked with the children in the camps in Radusha, Bojane, Chegrane, Stenkovec 1 and 2 in the period between 1999 and 2000. During the conflict in Macedonia in 2001 we opened a Shelter for Internally Displaced Persons and took care of 16 people, they were taken care of at the Children's Embassy MEGJASHI during a period of five years. Three babies were born here - Alexander, Marija and Nikola. We responded to the migrant crisis. We had a rapid response humanitarian action to help the children from the flood in Skopje, the children who fled from Syria and were taken care of in Turkey. We also adequately responded with humanitarian aid during the COVID-19 pandemic, by distributing aid to the competent institutions and providing them with overall protective equipment, gloves and masks…
*You moved a world from inside to outside, from invisible to visible, you instigated changes. Going back through the timeline, you can see how quixotic your work was, but then you add things up at the end, when it all comes together, you manage to see the scope of work and the conclusion that nothing was in vain. That MEGJASHI became a “moral” home for any child, barefoot, hungry and starving, but also for those who have a roof over their heads and dream of higher goals... That MEGJASHI became a school for transformation towards democracy and children's rights and managed to impose many positive changes. *Was it worth it?
- The state is more focused on the legal amendments and what the legal norms stipulate, and less or in some parts it is not mentioned at all how those legal provisions are applied in practice. There is no established system of monitoring how the laws are implemented, nor is there any information that an adequate analysis has been made as to what funds are needed for the implementation of the laws. The omission in the protection of children's rights usually occurs during the implementation of laws, and in certain cases it happens due to legislative gaps and inadequate regulation of certain issues. For example, there are laws where it is stipulated that the child has a certain right, but it does not specify how the child can exercise that right, through which procedure, before which authority and in accordance with which law. Such legal solutions are unenforceable in practice and instead of promoting children's rights, they represent an additional obstacle. But yes! It was worth it. The Children's Embassy has not only become a school for transformation towards democracy and children's rights, but also strengthens and encourages children's activism and participation. Namely, Macedonia is one of the few countries in the world that has managed, for the second time, to prepare an Alternative Report on the situation with children's rights in Macedonia - from the children's perspective. To submit, present and defend it in front of the members of the Committee on the Rights of the Child at the UN. Children state that they are victims of various forms of violence, among which bullying is the most common, and emphasize that schools should do much more to educate children to prevent this type of violence. They point to the problems in education, which are numerous, including the poor quality of teaching, insufficient care for hygiene, inadequate conditions for children with disabilities and insufficient care for children's mental health. However, they believe that polluted air, especially in winter days, as well as illegal landfills, factories near populated areas are part of the environmental problems that children face, and they believe that there is neither sufficient awareness nor sufficient care on the part of the government. Not to mention any liability and criminal prosecution. They listed many other problems that children face. We expect the specific recommendations from the Committee on Children's Rights to arrive soon. But, also specifically their implementation and realization by the Macedonian state. Our engagement will still be necessary here, because in every report so far there were numerous problems that children were facing, that have been noted down in the reports sent to the Committee, and are repeated.
*The hard-working team of the Embassy, very gently and carefully, with filigree-like precisions, weaved a network of children's rights. And, with your relentless persistence, you made people to increasingly realize that children's rights are not one or two and that there is no right dosage for fulfillment of children's rights, they need to be exercised down to the last percent. And no matter what is settled, new rights always arise that the heirs of the world deserve. *According to you personally, what is the first most inviolable and supreme right of every single child, wherever he/she may be on this Planet?
- The right to a healthy environment. The right to life. The population most affected by air pollution is children. Air pollution has a harmful effect on children's health. The negative effects of air pollution on children begin even before they are born. The polluted air that pregnant women breathe can lead to damage to the fetus and its development. Polluted air also leads to reduced body weight at birth, premature births, various anomalies in newborn children whose mothers were exposed to polluted air during pregnancy. Children who breathe polluted air have an increased number of upper and lower respiratory tract infections. As a result of frequent infections of the respiratory organs, permanent damage to the lungs and chronic diseases that last a lifetime can occur, such as asthma, allergies, chronic bronchitis. As a result of polluted air, there is also a disturbance in the development of the central nervous system in children, a change in the immune system, and the occurence of malignant diseases. Air pollution directly affects children and their right to life. Namely, according to data from the World Health Organization, more than one in every four deaths of children under the age of five is directly or indirectly related to exposure of children to air pollution. Children are particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of air pollution. Children inhale a larger amount of air, and thus a larger amount of harmful substances.
*What other message would you like to send?
- In the upcoming period, we plan to focus on achieving the following long-term goals of the organization, such as respecting and understanding the rights of children and children's personality; promoting and advancing the culture of peace and non-violence among children from an early age, mobilizing, updating and undertaking initiatives and actions for the benefit of children; joint and responsible parenting even after divorce, children having the right to find out who their biological parents are, the right to a healthy environment and clean air, and the struggle to mobilize and build functional institutions that act in the best interest of children.

http://www.megjashi.org.mk/content/pdf/MONOGRAPH%20%20First%20Childrens%20Embassy%20in%20the%20World%20MEGJASHI%201992-2022%20,%2030%20years.pdf

​
******

Great to be a pontoon owner! But I have a quandary - I bought a 2006 Godfrey Sweetwater 1980 RE4 Gate pontoon boat last fall. It's currently wrapped and stacked in storage - but coming out soon! Does anyone know if the bunk/space between the logs is 48 inches? I found info saying the beam is 8 feet and the logs are 24 inches, but just want to verify the trailer I have access to will actually fit!