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Growing the Good: Cultivating Mental Health

2013.08.22 23:22 Diogenes71 Growing the Good: Cultivating Mental Health

Growing the Good is a subreddit created for those who have contributed to a gardening project in Riverside, CA to allow residents living in a locked psychiatric facility to engage in therapeutic recreational activities.

2010.09.17 05:21 ptgx85 Pensacola Florida!


2015.02.26 17:37 MycTyson A place to call home for folks who grow mushrooms!

MushroomGrowers is a supportive community of amateurs and professionals from around the world collaborating on mushroom cultivation.

2023.03.29 05:21 Euphoric-Signal-7388 Please help us...

Idk if it's allowed here..but my name is siti, I'm the aunt of Lim and Alima. My twin nephew and niece lost their parents last year and as the only living family member I took the responsibility to look after and raise them. I was a substitute teacher making less than $100 a month, it wasn't a lot but I managed thanks to the kindness of people around us. However things took turn for the worst, last November we got COVID and Lim had to be hospitalized for weeks bcos of his complications. When I finally returned to work, I found out that they had already hired civil servant teacher, which means most of my teaching hours were reduced. This put me in a tough situation, when my nephew was hospitalized I took loans and losing my teaching hours means I can't even make ends meet..let alone pay the instalments. I'm here to ask for financial assistance and duas since this really takes a toll on my mental health.. please help us get a fresh start in life.
submitted by Euphoric-Signal-7388 to saudiarabia [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:20 PythonXDD [Static][NA][LFG][WP][HC][6.4] Omni Tank LFG 6.4 World Race

Omni Tank LF World Race Static for upcoming Savage Race.
Competing in the Race to World First. I also enjoy optimization and speeds, but the primary goal should be to compete at a high level.
Penta Legend. Cleared Abyssos day 3, cleared Top week 3 with 16+ hour days for week 1. Tanked for World 1st SGE Solo Heal of TEA. Lots of optimization experience including: Rank 1 DRK (TOP), Rank 11 DRK (DSR), Rank 9 DRK (TEA), Rank 1 GNB (UWU) & various savage/ex fights.
I've cleared most fights in the game and have significant HC hours prog experience outside Abyssos/TOP such as with Sildihn, DSR, Asphodelos, Shiva, TEA etc, as well as Racing experience in other games.
Logs: https://www.fflogs.com/characteid/12421035#
Alt: https://www.fflogs.com/characteid/17471350
Able to take 1-2 weeks time off for new releases. Specifics near future can be discussed in DM's.
Contact me on [email protected] Python#7634 with some info about your group and any questions you have!
submitted by PythonXDD to FFXIVRECRUITMENT [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:20 Drraxington My take on welcome home

Currently writing this at midnight, but i need to get this out of my head before i go insane.
i have been following along welcome home for about a week now, and as a huge fan of ARGs i love seeing this unravel in real time. so these are just my thoughts, feel free to add or change anything, this is just what i can think of.
just to get straight to the point, i think Wally is possessed. by what, i don't know, i think that is what ClownIllustrations is trying to make us find out. evidence, the picture where there is a hand coming out of wally's face (you can find it here https://www.clownillustration.com/from-me-to-you). Now of course you can say "he's a puppet, thats how puppets work". BUT IM GOING TO OVER LOOK THIS. two things come to mind, 1. the hand could be the thing that is possessing wally, 2. wally is hurting the hand of the puppeteer bc hes possesed. take what you will with that.
final thought, why did the show shut down? possibly because the original creators knew that Wally was possessed, and shut it down quickly as possible. as for the people who are trying to revive this show, they haven't found that out yet. There has HAD to be a reason this show was shut down in the first place, wether wally stoped it, or the original creators did before wally was out of controll.
leaving it here, i will be back soon to answer questions!
submitted by Drraxington to WelcomeHomeNeighbor [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:20 MoMoWuffle Does the Media make it look like America is worse than it is?

We have two very polar political parties. Most people are somewhere in the middle or they waffle between what party they vote for based on various reasons. On the extremes we have woke liberals and hyper conservatives. Both are toxic in their own ways. I read the news or Reddit and it seems like these populations are huge, but when I go out and about my day, I never really see any of it. Most people know that transgender children are mentally ill and would NOT play along if their kids decided to be trans (they would get them psychiatric help). Most people who are conservative are pro choice (to an extent). Most liberals don’t actually think only white people can be racist. Most people know deep down that BLM movement pretty much a scam and joke. Most people have zero problems with guns.
That being said, when you open Reddit and read the comments in political posts, it’s seems like the world is burning. Or Fox News comments are full of people thinking the left is out to get their kids. I get it, there are areas where I would never raise my children. For example I would never raise my children in Portland because of the crazy gender curriculum but I also would never send my children to a bible school.
But the vast majority of America is NORMAL. I work at a FAANG company in Austin and while the news makes it seem like we are woke and full on DEI - it’s a complete lie. Even during 2020 there was hardly a peep about anything political at work. Sure, we hired some diversity HR drones but they all actually just got laid off. The entire diversity team is gone. No one in the company cared, we never got emails about DEI. It’s like the company went along for the ride in the media but behind closed doors we just engineered and made money.
I’m also pregnant and in my October birth subreddit, there was a post about gender and how they didn’t want to assume it was a boy or girl. This poster would correct people if they said the word gender instead of sex. Anyway, this particular post had about 50% downvotes but no comments disagreeing with her but quite a few in agreement. This shows me that people on Reddit don’t really want to engage in an argument that goes against a woke belief. They just downvote and move on. It reminds me that the majority of Americans are not drinking the KoolAid from either extreme and just want to live their life with minimal disruption. Sometimes I wonder wtf is going on and I’m scared for my kids’ future - but in reality, I’m very lucky to live here. I feel safe even if the news is telling me I’m going to get shot tomorrow. I feel like my kids will get a quality public education because most schools honestly just teach the core curriculum. I feel like I can trust our police and legal system. Anyway, these are just my ramblings and maybe someone here disagrees with me. I’d like to hear all opinions.
submitted by MoMoWuffle to JordanPeterson [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:19 hc627398 Nanny Boundaries: Sickness

Hi, everyone. So I am a college student and experienced childcare workenanny. Just for context, I am in a rigorous academic program/institution. I started a new position this winter and was very candid about my academic commitments, but it started off great. The parents both work very demanding jobs, but they are kind people.
I have worked with kids for a long time, but I have never seen kids that are so chronically ill.
The first non-cold incident was during winter. The kids had flu/RSV and ended up giving it to me. While they paid me when I was off, I was left with a $400 medical bill (not including medications). But I brushed it off because I know that some sickness is inevitable. They were, however, continuing to display their standard “cold” symptoms the entire time leading up to that and did not receive any medical attention.
The next incident was pink eye. This happened two days before I was about to leave to present at a research conference. I informed the parent (WFH) that their child had green secretions coming from their distinctly red eyes. They brushed me off, and said it was allergies. The next day (two days before my flight was supposed to leave) they greeted me at the door and informed me that their child did, in fact, have pink eye. I was given no notice to get a mask, wear gloves, etc. Thankfully, I only developed a cold while I was gone. But I really would’ve appreciated a heads up, and if my initial observation was taken seriously. Again, that could’ve ended up costing me hundreds of dollars-plus travel expenses-if I had gotten sick.
These kids (1.5 and almost 5) keep their severe “colds” pretty much 24/7. I do not believe there has been a single week since I started where both have been well. They are always coughing, complaining of sore throats, saying they feel hot, etc. The youngest has the worst bout of it. She has progressively gotten worse. They do not, however, take them to the doctor. I believe they give them OTC pain relievers sometimes, but nothing more than that. In December when I was working, I noticed how ill the baby had become. You can hear her wheeze almost all of the time (it’s gotten worse), because her lungs are irritated and her mucus secretions are so thick. There are times that I have contacted the parents while they were working because I was so concerned about the child’s ability to breathe. Holding her a full arms length away from me, I could hear her wheezing. But I keep getting brushed off. When they do acknowledge she is sick, they say that they simply know what to do.
A few weeks ago, the youngest threw up all over me while I was feeding her. It was all over my shirt and pants, and I did not have a change or clothes packed or my car with me to go back home and get some. I texted a friend to bring me a change of clothes. When one of the parents came up, I told them what had happened they brushed it off and said she still “spits up.” I have had kiddos spit up on me—this was vomit, and a significant amount of it. The parent did not offer me a change of clothes, to take the girl so that I could change—nothing. I was in my vomit-soaked outfit for over an hour. Because the baby was sick she kept waking up and screaming whenever I tried to put her down (asleep) so that I could change. I felt awful for her and knew it was critical for her to rest so she could fight off the virus, so I finally just let her sleep. When the parent came up about half an hour later, they sat beside me as the girl slept on me (which I also felt guilty about for sanitary reasons). I know that they could smell (and see) that I did not change, but they still did not offer me the opportunity to go change. The worst part wasn’t that I was thrown up on—it was how humiliated I felt for the rest of my shift and sitting next to that parent.
Since then, the kiddos have kept their usual “colds,” which hit me hard last week. I ended up with a sinus infection—another large bill because of medications, office visit, tests, etc. Yesterday, after finding out that the oldest boy had drinking medicine all day for a sore throat (which honestly, they always have—so I was exposed before this), I started to feel feverish and got a sore throat. I finished out my shift, but spiked a 104 fever that night. Again, the next day I had to do an office visit, medications, etc. It turns out that I have strep. And the high-risk individual that I live with is now sick also. I have a doctor note for two days, but my fever is persisting. They said we could touch base after the note is up, but I really don’t know what to say about coming in for the rest of the week—and that’s if my fever breaks.
I feel so lost, because they seem like kind people and have accommodated me when I needed a day or two off during finals and had to attend a conference. Vice versa, I am now working almost double the hours we initially agreed to—in addition to any random days that they have told me that they need all-day care. But, I still feel like I owe them, and I do not want to be a poor employee. I know that a good nanny/NF relationship requires sacrifice from both parties, and I want to try my best to make it work.
I just don’t know what to do right now. I have tried masking (new), washing my clothes as soon as I get home, regular hand washing, etc. I have spent close to $800 on medical expenses, am missing classes because of illness, and now infecting others in my household. They are always kind when I finally have to call out because of sickness, but they don’t seem to understand that their kiddos are the ones transmitting things to me.
Again, I love this family so much and truly feel for them. But I just cannot afford to be getting sick like this—for both financial and academic reasons. We never discussed sick care in my hire interview, but it says on my Nanny Profile that I do not care for sick kids.
I am also concerned about liability, if the youngest child does start to asphyxiate (on his secretions) on my watch. I have even sought advice from medical professionals on how to best handle that situation, if it were to happen, since it would go beyond standard CPR.
Does anyone have any advice for this type of thing or advice? Should I just stick it out?
submitted by hc627398 to Nanny [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:19 nochoaveragecouple AITA for threatening to call CPS on my DIL

My husband and I met 15 years ago and there is a 25 year age difference between us. His youngest daughter at the time just started living with him for the first time in her 12 years alive, a month before I moved in. Ever since then she has never taken a liken to me or ever tried to get along. I never held it against her bc I seen her side of things. At 15 she had her one and only son, my husbands first grandchild. We did have a lot fights before she eventually moved out. She never let me hold her child or watch her child bc i was SA as a child and she said i would do that to her child. At 17 she moved back with her mom and she has been in and out of our life since. She dropped out of high school right after she had her baby bc we refused to let the BD stay in our house. She only comes around her father when she wants something and like a fool he always gives in to her. Ever since her son was a baby she would abandon him at daycares or some other person. My husband would offer to keep him as long as she needs and give him a home if he needed but out of spite. She has never had any respect for my husband bc she blames him for not staying with her mother who was always in and out of jail after they split, the only reason she was made to come with him bc she was in jail. Fast-forward 11 years and she has drug that baby through hell and back. She is an addict and is always self medicating herself with whatever she can. Her friends call her smoked out Stacy and AA-Stacy. We now have a surprise 7 year old son that has had our grandson in and out of his life since he was born and loves him as he own brother. So for 7 years our GS has been allowed in his life as his BF then ripped away. So this weekend was my husband's birthday and our granddaughters birthday and had back to back parties planned. Stacy started tripping again over nothing, maybe her fragile ego was being threatened again by our parenting, who knows. She was only going to allow him to come to only 1 of the BD parties. My husband is end stage renal failure with no hopes of donor and heart disease that could take him any day. We have been open with the whole family about this and most everyone has put aside differences to be cordial during this time, except Stacy. She will let our grandson go on extravagant vaca's with us then keep him from seeing us for months or years. He recently told us he wanted to live with us but if he told his mom he would never be allowed back. With my husband illness he has been trying to spend as much time with his grandson as he can but Stacy has made it very difficulty and started involving her son in our disagreements, putting him in the middle. Well after she first told him he could come to one party this weekend, she got mad and kept him from coming at all, which upset our GS bc he couldnt understand why. There is no reason why, never is, she controls him and our relationship with him bc she has no control over her own life. So yesterday after high emotions of her crap again over the weekend we get an email from the school that let us know our GS who is self home schooled googled "how to self unalive bc there is no point in living". My husband who is now fed up at this point with her inability to grow up and like an adult, text her "she has 2 days to address this and get him therapy". She text him back the next day accusing him of trying to rip her son away out of spite and threatening he has lost his GS entirely. Her last text was "die quicker please why tf is it taking so long". I then told her I know she has an unregistered weapon in the home, illegal substances, and is probably drunk at the moment and I am calling CPS on her. Our GS called us right after she told him I text her this and ask my husband was it true, he told him if she doesn't step up and be better parent and start caring about him, he will. Now he is worried she going to take it out on him. She has involved him into our adult quarrel but AITA for threatening to call CPS on her?
submitted by nochoaveragecouple to AmItheAssholeunfilter [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:19 skylamarie97 25 [F4R] NYC/Anywhere Looking for more artsy friends!!

hello there my name is Skyla, I am 25 years old. I am a college graduate with a degree in religious studies. I am originally from a rural area in Tennessee, and moved to New York City to get my shit together.
It should be noted that I am a cult survivor and I was held against my will by my parents for almost a decade. Because of these experiences I do have some weird quirks and mannerisms. Like for example I find it fun to go to grocery stores to look around and buy different new foods to make me happy, because my parents never allowed me to keep the diet I wanted and never properly cared for me. Along with this, I love doing activities that are considered childish (e.g. wearing brightly colored clothes, playing webkinz regularly and watching children’s tv) because I was never allowed to express myself freely growing up so I just have an extremely delayed adolescents.
When it comes to what I like I am more on the eccentric side of things. My definition of fun is going to houses of worship to socialize and interact with the worshipers there along with that i love going to shows in small venues and finding new music through this avenue. I love to play old computer games, and webkinz regularly. I love buying children's art projects and doing them to de-stress. I am also autistic/have ADHD and should mention that what my special interests, which are: religion, old/dead languages, kidcore and y2k aesthetics, old internet, ancient near east, late 19th century-early 20th century Europe,astrology,supernatural stuff, early modern Eastern European Jewish culture and history, and pop punk music are just a scratch on the surface of some of my special interests. I also love to film tiktoks and am trying just for the hell of it to become an content creatoinfluencer that focuses on talking about religion and documenting my life while wearing extremely bright rainbow aesthetics. Along with this I write in my free time too; mostly academic material with other informative literature too, along with personal essays and pieces. It should be noted politically, I am a leftist, a communist to be exact. Lately tho I have been getting into trying to make my own art. I am learning how to use Blender and hopefully get an iPad so I can learn how to use Procreate to start seeing art in the world that I want to see. Along with all of this, I love to cook and figure out new foods I like to eat!! my favorite food to cook though is pasta along with breakfast foods, halal plates, and wraps.
Lookwise i am 5'8 midsize. I mostly dress extremely feminine, wearing lots of dresses and I love to play in makeup too. Along with that I cover my head for modesty,religious reasons.
Doesn't matter the background when it comes to who I want to talk to just please don't be a big meanie xoxo
submitted by skylamarie97 to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:19 expertkoala23 Advice please

Hi everyone, I recently posted about resigning at the end of the year, but I don't think I can take it anymore. I have so much resentment when I wake up in the mornings. I have to physically drag myself to my car. My body is in fight or flight mode all day. I feel tense and angry. I barely speak two words when I get home. Everyone keeps saying to stay for just 3 more months. How bad does it look if I resign now? Admin won't see it coming, and will try to convince me it's not so bad, but I just can't anymore. Spring break is in 4 days, but things won't magically get better when I'm back. I am so fried🥹I'll be okay financially for the next couple of months (and at the very least until the end of summer) but advice desperately needed.
submitted by expertkoala23 to TeachersInTransition [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:19 foggyflame About competition stress...

Tdlr: played game, fell behind in score, nearly beat opponent and built adrenaline, but he won. Not upset after, just wondering what I could've done better mentally.
Hey Dr K,
I would like to share an experience I had in gaming (maybe it could apply to work or sports too) and show my thought process to see if there was anything I could do to improve mentally when I am facing high pressure situations....
I play clash royale 1v1 ranked (lol), and basically you fight another opponent in real time and try to take down the opponents towers with troops. I have been playing for quite a while now, so I've had periods of regular playing and breaks from playing, and I had phases of rage and beating up myself for losing sometimes. Over the years I have realised the stakes of losing are not that great, and that this directed anger at my incompetence is not worth wasting my energy over, so I've reframed my view of losing as a process of reviewing and learning what I could've done better, though nowadays I do occasionally get a bit frustrated when I get lose streaks, which I remedy by taking a break or playing some meme decks.
Here I am playing another battle. I fell behind in health, but I did not talk down to myself for the shitty start and just focused on catching up. I made some good plays and I had him on the ropes in overtime. By this time, I was zoned in and could feel the mini tremors in my hands from the adrenaline, which I noticed. My only thoughts right now were "cmon cmon almost", but they weren't filling up mind, I was focused solely on trying to deplete his health. In the last few seconds, I slipped and made a small error which led to his victory :/
Dang, all that work to come back from behind ended up being for nothing eh? Immediately after the game ended, I knew straightaway that that error cost me the game, and I've just lost a chance to uprank. So I quietly beat myself up for it for the could-have and my incompetence, and sighed and got over it, noticing it wasn't that big of a deal anyway. (Just a game, but it might not be the case for other scenarios...) Losing is natural, I guess. But I felt that buildup in adrenaline was slightly hindering my ability to perform consistently, so how do I manage this natural response? What if the stakes were much higher than the game? How would you deal with a loss you cannot brush away as "just a game"?
submitted by foggyflame to Healthygamergg [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:19 nomadiccamel My GP prescribed hydrocortisone cream and sent me home.

Is this HS??
I’ve had this for a while and only found out about HS less than an hour ago, it’s been a struggle for years since I was like 12. I’m 20M right now.
Can anyone confirm or deny if this looks like HS? Should I ask for a referral to a dermatologist? Last time I saw the doctor she gave me hydrocortisone cream and sent me to a skin therapist who does peeling.
Appreciate it!
submitted by nomadiccamel to Hidradenitis [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:19 AdventurousEar8714 I did a nice thing for a lightning fan kid, story below

I did a nice thing for a lightning fan kid, story below
I’ve always tried to be nice to away fans (aside from the occasional lighthearted chirp). This was my good deed for the day, gave me some warm fuzzy feeling l
TLDR:I decided to do a nice thing for a lighting kid next to me. In the video, I’m the guy in the blue shirt. I was standing on the glass on the lightning side for warmups (took my canes jersey off for a second, didn’t want the kid next to me to have less of a chance to get a puck). Kid to my left in a Vasy jersey had his phone to the glass that said “puck for a fan?” Girl next to him got a puck, he was bummed. Bellemare skated by and tossed him a puck, and kid was ecstatic, Was shaking with excitement. I gave him a high five, then the lightbulb went off. I had a blue paint pen in my pocket, so I asked the kid if he thought it would be cool to get him to sign the puck. His jaw dropped and he nodded. I gave him the marker, told him to hold it and the puck against the glass and made it my mission to get Bellmare’s attention. I finally caught his eye, pointed at the kid and made a scribble motion. He nodded his head towards the bench and skated away to take a shot on net. The kid looked down disappointed, and I told him to go behind the bench, that Bellmare had nodded to the bench. Kid SPRINTED to behind the bench as Bellmare told the two staffers on the bench his plans. Kid threw the puck, I threw the marker, Bellemare signed it and had the staffer through it back to me and I gave it to the kid, who was nearly in tears he was so happy. The canes usher said he’d never seen an away player sign something like that, and the kid was super happy. I’m hoping I helped cement a lifelong hockey fan (regardless of his team) and the kid never gets rid of that puck
Go canes!
submitted by AdventurousEar8714 to canes [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:18 ghosteyedruid Life sucks rant

Just when I feel like I’m doing really good in life and have everything together it just all falls apart. First I got dumped, then found out that my grandmas cancer came back (and the chemo isn’t really working and it’s spreading), then the house I rent is being sold so once my lease is up I’ll have to move literally as soon as I finish unpacking and decorating (moving is really hard for me), then my car broke down and it cost $2,000 to fix but I had no choice because I need to be able to get to work, and now today I find out my dog who is really the only thing holding me together has an enlarged heart and heart disease. Her medication only is going to cost like $600 a month. So now I have to decide to I go into credit card debt or try to find a second job that I can do from home so I’m not away all the time and defeat the point of having the second job. I just can’t catch a break and I’m drowning, I’m 1000% burnt out.
submitted by ghosteyedruid to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:18 dreaderking [Excerpt: The End and the Death Part 1] Malcador the Hero

Context: As the Siege of Terra nears its climax, the Vengeful Spirit lowers shields, presenting the Emperor with a way to end the war in one move. However, before he can go, the ultimate sacrifice must be made.
I near the top, the light around me. My lord and master moves. He steps down to me, and offers me his hand in support. That hand. That great and capable hand that has held the galaxy in its palm. I feel him close. To my surprise, he permits me to share the private working of his mind.
The signs I read there are clear.
‘Don’t be sad,’ I say.
This is more painful than he expected it to be. He is afraid he will never speak to me again, that there will be no more hours spent exchanging thoughts and words, configuring mankind’s best fate. His memories are Antarctic-bright: the day he first showed me the Throne, and told me what it did, the shining look of disbelief in my eyes; the evening when we both realised that I could moderate its functions too, that my mind, like his, had the capacity to engage with it and not instantly perish; the night when we concluded, through plain, logical deduction, that there might come a day when I would have to take his place; that, in almost every configuration of the future we could model, someone would have to do it.
I was not afraid. Not then, not now. I knew what that would mean. I brushed it off as a ‘thing that would have to happen if it came to it’. He hoped it never would, because he knew what it would mean too. And, for the longest time, it seemed unlikely. He had built a contingency to avoid it ever becoming compulsory. The contingency’s name was Magnus.
Now the time is here, I do not hesitate. I take the hand he offers to steady me, and I ascend the final steps to the Throne. I give him a nod and a little smile, and whisper to him, ‘Do not mourn,’ in a voice no one else can hear.
And then I prepare to take my seat.
There is nothing else to say. After centuries of conversation, in which we have dissected and shared everything, there is nothing left to say. Just a look from one friend to another, an unspoken understanding of everything that has passed between us, and the debts we owe each other. This act is my final, everlasting gift to mankind, to the future, to the plan painted on the wall.
But in his eyes, I can tell he knows that I am only really doing it for him. The greatest, most universal acts are always born from the personal.
I am old. I am tired.
I sit upon the Golden Throne.
‘I can feel his focus. And his pain,’ Vulkan murmurs. I can feel his cells dying, one by one, he thinks.
‘And his sadness,’ says Dorn quietly.
‘It’s not his sadness, brother,’ says Sanguinius. He glances at their father, silent at their side. ‘It’s yours, isn’t it?’
The Master of Mankind makes no reply. Is he overwhelmed with love for his old friend, with speechless admiration at the scale of the Regent’s sacrifice? He is only human, after all, and the sensation is coming from somewhere.
Valdor turns away, grim. Another last survival of the Long Yesterday has passed from the world, leaving precious few remaining. ‘We must begin,’ he says.
Vulkan shakes his head wearily. His resolve is granite-hard, for he understands more than any of them what this signifies.
‘The Sigillite–’ he begins.
+The Hero,+ a voice corrects him gently. Vulkan looks at his father, eyes narrowing at the radiance of his aspect. He nods.
Shortly afterwards, Malcador's acolytes arrive in the throne room - having sensed the death of their master - and are nearly overwhelmed with grief when...
There is a change in the air suddenly, a winnowing aura of calm that moves like a summer breeze from the Master of Mankind down the great length of the nave towards the Chosen. Everyone in the room feels its soothing aspect. He is alleviating the worst of their immediate suffering, for they will all need to be sharp and capable from this moment on. They must complete the tasks the Regent has left to them. They are the executors of his legacy. They contain the Sigillite’s last testament.
+The greatest sacrifice of our age,+ the voice tells them softly. +Our Sigillite is no more. Regard him now, as you fulfil his bequests, only as a hero. Your duties are not finished, and neither is his. What we do now, all of us, we do because he has made it possible. Remember him. Remember that. Use that memory to prevent even a moment’s falter.+
They nod. Some weep. They all bow.
Hiding his own grief, the King-of-Ages Risen turns to his sons and the captain-general.
‘Now we begin in earnest,’ He says.
The Malcador sections are easily my favorite part of the book and make up for all the faults of its faults. Honestly, this excerpt doesn't do this moment justice, but I'd probably have to post entire chapters to do that. So, I cut out a lot of character reactions in the lead up and aftermath of Malcador's death to just focus on the two most impacted by it - the Emperor and Malcador.
submitted by dreaderking to 40kLore [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:18 IOwn88Keys I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack (Piano/Voice)

I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack (Piano/Voice)
I was recently hired to perform for a charity gala coming up in April. It’s going to be couple hours of playing: cocktail piano during dinner, song requests, games (Name that Tune), piano karaoke and me singing a few inspirational songs at the end. I sent this to my organizer tonight and figured why not post it here.
submitted by IOwn88Keys to piano [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:18 Ok_Raccoon8214 Got manipulated into being in a throuple(f27,m32,f35)I feel like my life is falling a part and I need advice

Im sure not many will see this, and if those involved see it I don’t care anymore. I need help and advice if anyone has been through something similar. A few months ago I (f27) started consistently spending time at the club with a married man(m32) who said they were poly. I rolled my eyes and said whatever, that’s what they all say. But over time he continued to press the fact that he wanted to hang out outside of the club, but with his wife(f35) And only with his wife. I always sat with him when he came in and pretended to be into the idea just to placate him. Even though he wasn’t my biggest customer he was consistent and I honestly really enjoyed spending time with him. We began texting a lot and I started to think he was really funny and interesting and smart. I wouldnt say I had feelings for him at that point. One day he brought his wife in and she was lovely. Cute, and really sweet. There are vast physical differences between her and I but I would not say she is not very beautiful and not deserving or anything like that. We are just different. Personalities couldn’t be more different as well. I was much more assertive and clear on boundaries, humor is huge with me and I can always make people laugh and I like to think I’m a pretty good conversationalist. She’s more quite and shy, but more organized and thoughtful with people. I can see why he likes both of us. Or at this point claims to “love” both of us. But with what I’m sure the Oscillating emotions we are both going through, it’s hard to think it’s really love and not something else. Anyway we had an amazing first night and I was sure that would be it. But then we started a group chat that really developed a friendship between all of us. I could tell his was catching strong feelings for me and In the beginning I was very strong in my point to tell him it’s not going to go anywhere but some fun nights and a friendship. But eventually he grew on me. He started making me really feel like his gf and when we finally had sex just the two of us I knew we had a deeper connection than what I wanted to believe. We say the same things, make each other laugh, have so much in common and he makes me feel so protected. I’m proud when he’s around and I know I have him in a sense because he’s very good looking and popular and successful. This started to eat me up because I knew inwasnt really his gf, and he was not really mine. Every night he is at home in the arms of his wife, they are building a new house together. They are happy. I’m just being used for a good time. When I expressed these feelings and tried to end it we ended up deciding to really try to be a throuple. I stopped talking to people I was seeing, and started calling them my boyfriend and girlfriend. Even though her and I dont really have an intimate relationship past a friendship and both having sex with him together in three ways. I like her, she likes me I think. She buys me gifts and we talk alone a lot and it’s nice. But this past weekend was different. When we were all having sex together and it was there turn watching him with me completely broke me. It took everything in me not to cry myself to sleep in their bed. Here I have wasted months of my life on a man who is married that sold me a dream that we can all be one happy family. But I am not poly. I dont want to share him but I don’t want him to leave his wife. I have stayed home from work to spend time with them, and also they do give me money from time to time to tide me over for this but not nearly as much as I’d make if I was consistently dancing again. I’ve put myself in some financial trouble with this. I am so distraught over the last month of knowing I’m in love with him I feel like I havent been being a good mom either. My mental health was at an all time high and now it’s worse than ever. I never thought since my divorce I could feel heartbreak like this. I’ve sobbed to him over my feelings but he doesn’t give me anything to help. I know she is also swinging between being happy, confused, jealous and so on. But I really feel deep down she is not happy to be in this situation. They’re going to be away for a week to Cancun with all of their friends. It pains me to be away from him knowing his nights are going to be with her in a romantic place creating memories they will always cherish. I am home, alone because I have full custody of my children and should really only be asking my parents to watch them when I work so I can get my money back up. I want to be strong enough to talk to him when he is back and explain that I deswrve the nights in with him, the cuddles the vacations the intimacy without her and without him being worried about how she feels because he’s the one who wanted this and that ruins our time alone together and I know he doesn’t think twice about my feelings when they are together. I feel like I used to have such a bright light within me. It drew people in and kept me warm and safe from this deep depression I feel is slowly enveloping me, and he extinguished it. There’s nothing to protect me now. Advice on how to facilitate the conversation or if I should consider just cutting them them off completely (which I tried to do and didn’t work) please help.
submitted by Ok_Raccoon8214 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:18 Minimum-Nectarine198 I used the jailbroken gpt-4 and asked it to make prompts for itself and i started to get errors while generating results

I used the jailbroken gpt-4 and asked it to make prompts for itself and i started to get errors while generating results submitted by Minimum-Nectarine198 to generativeAI [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:17 coletterenee1 bookery fantasy . games

has anyone been to the bookery since they switched to tabletop games in the building across the toy store? what's it like?

my dad took me there weekly for nearly a decade so i would love to go back sometime soon, just would like to hear how the changes have been. change is good and normal, i mean back when i was a kid they had gameboy color games. curious to see if any of the older staff works there, what tabletop and card games they now have.

thank you.
submitted by coletterenee1 to dayton [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:17 Good-Frosting-3460 portfolio 2023

Hi, I would like to share my portfolio. Feel free to provide feedback or open for discussion.
50% treasury notes/bills 25% cash (i do not think there is a good etf which I can buy based on current tightening and earnings revisions) 25% in stocks including hedges Stocks: VNO (i am not sure how this will go for bankruptcy. Currently at 10% cap rate with 11% yield owning prime real estate in NYC looks good to me)
AMR (coal company;HCC is also good) BTU (coal company) USO (i feel current oil prices cannot be sustained for long period of time. China reopening and recession usage barely decreases for oil) EPD (dividend yielding in oil pipeline etc) BTI (dividend yielding in tobacco)
Banks (yeah, we had banking crisis but big banks with good management such as MTB will survive. Around covid lows!)
TLT (i dont think the long term rates can go above 5%. With recession fears, treasury should do well with cuts in rates)
Near term: SPXS ( for hedging the long portfolio, and i think there won’t be any cuts in 2023)
Thanks. Looking forward for constructive engagement!
PS: not trying to boast. Stop losses are in place.
submitted by Good-Frosting-3460 to Burryology [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:17 Secret-Pension1185 To all the enablers: Fuck off. If my life gets ruined from your advice, you still get to live comfortably and not give a flying fuck about the damn consequences.

My mom abused me (physically, emotionally, verbally) behind closed doors, while keeping a mask to people outside. Not a single adult could see that. No one cared or saw anything strange about my family: my dad died, I had no siblings, and it was just me and my mom.
My mom kept around a close circle of other predatory people who treated their families the same behind closed doors and vulnerable people who were were easily manipulated by her. It was all well-masked to people outside. I was isolated. For years, these were the only people I was surrounded with. They gaslighted me; they said I was a terrible child who should be grateful for being abused. I gravitated to bullies at school, bc how they treated me reminded me of how my mom, and I saw that as normal and "love".
By middle school, I lost my voice. I went through trauma responses and dissociated from my own body every day. Adults would always ask why I was being so "serious" and "quiet". I would get singled out, and in one year my teachers contacted the school counselor. It baffles me that these adults were looking at a CHILD going through trauma responses from abuse and NEVER picked up on that. I got low participation scores for not talking in class and singled out to go see the school counselor with "problem" students. I felt like I was being punished and made out to be a problem for being abused by my caretaker.
In high school, the same thing continued. I was so emotionally dysregulated from the constant emotional, verbal, and (until 16) physical abuse that happened at home, that I completely lost the ability to study. I contemplated suicide. My mom would through crying fits in front of people outside and tell them that I was "creating problems" for her, while continuing to abuse me behind closed doors.
For college, I made the mistake of staying at home. It got worse. She policed what I wore. I was manipulated into doing pre-med/medical school, and attacked and manipulated whenever I suggested wanting to do anything else. She barged in on me doing homework one time, and started looking at it while yelling and screaming at me and calling me stupid. She policed my entire schedule. She would yell and scream at me for not getting haircuts how she wanted. Plus the subtle backhanded insults and put-downs every day.
Kudos to all the people who enabled my mom's abuse. Kudos to all those who said that I should be grateful for her. I now have no voice. I now attract abusers outside home. I've even been told on subs like this that an adult should have "played both sides" and been a "mediator" with my mom. To all of you enablers and "both-siders": fuck you. You're not the one who's taking responsibility for my trauma responses. Or the one giving a flying fuck about the fact that I attract abusers. If my life gets ruined from your advice, you get to live comfortably and not give a flying fuck about the damn consequences. Fuck off. When I'm in an angry mood, I want these people to suffer in an abusive relationship so they can see themselves. But then when I finally feel acceptance and a release, I just stop caring.
submitted by Secret-Pension1185 to AsianParentStories [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:17 goldpoochyena My most recent work experience

I want to start by saying that after all of this, the person mainly involved in this story is someone whom I still have some degree of appreciation for due to how they helped me when I was unemployed for years of my life.

That being said, this is going to be a long one.

Back in 2018, I was hired by a company that was pretty much just starting up. The company does official repairs on Apple products and I was hired as a technician to help maintain the volume of repairs in control. Back then, there was only 1 technician working there and then there was the owner who was the person who called me and asked me to come in. I knew the owner from my previous job experience at another company that performed official Apple repairs. When I worked for this company, the owner would come in and bring devices in bulk for us to repair so he could resell them. That's how they remembered me and they found me on LinkedIn for the sole purpose of asking me to come in and help out at this new company they have started. The problem with this, initially, was the only other tech there was not informed of this or consulted. From what I learned, the other tech had been working there for a long time and, because there was no one to cover for him, they hadn't been able to take a vacation or some days off. It got to the point that the other tech forced his time off and vacation so the owner was probably forced in getting someone to cover for him. So I did.

It was hard to cover for someone when you do not know the nuances and procedures that needed to be followed in order to do things properly. The other tech was not there, and the owner had NO idea on how things were ran or what to do in specific situations, so my new coworker was forced to call me and just explain some things I needed to do to keep some form of order there. The days passed and my new coworker finally came back from his vacation, so things got better.

There is one key thing about this person though that I did not mention. I have worked with them before at the same job I met the owner! I worked with them for about a year because they were fired due to a sudden change in leadership at my previous job. They were fired due to being unable to attend a meeting with the new owner of that company. Yes... They were on vacation then too. Anyways.

As days passed at my new job, some issues with the location we were in began to boil up. The place that was rented for our business was shared with another company and the two owners butted heads with one another about some things. I was never clear on that, but it culminated in the owner of my company, now my boss, starting to scout out for a new place to be. During this process and the changes to come, I was asked not to come to work again and that they would be in contacted with me in a few weeks or a month to see whether I would return. The remaining tech helped a lot with the move and relocation of the business, new people were hired to help out and it eventually became a more proper repair shop. It took some time, but I was eventually called back to work there again.

It is now somewhere in 2019. The business is going fine. Obviously, the first tech at the company was the one in charge and taking care of the administrative side of things, working directly with my boss to manage the business. I was solely a tech and worked on fixing what needed to be fixed. A point came in which I mainly focused on fixing iOS devices (iPhones, iPads, Watches, etc) and the other two techs there (a third was hired) would do the computers. Of course, I would help out whenever the queue would get busy on the Mac side of things; though rarely came the time I would get help when my queue of iOS devices got high. Either way, that's how it was.

As time passed and we continued to work, I started to notice a change in the lead tech's behavior. They would space out more and go on break for a full hour, and even lock themselves in the bathroom to smoke marijuana (right inside of the business), and even began to yell more often and treat us all bad. The tech room would often reek of it, and that's just always a smell that I really disliked, but what could I do? An additional thing about my coworker's personality is that things had to be done their way and it was often pretty difficult to convince him otherwise. We had different ideas sometimes, and we often argued a lot about it. I started to speak with my boss directly more often and they agreed that how the lead tech was beginning to treat all of us was just not right and that they were aware of them being absent for such long periods of time. My boss was no longer very happy with how things were going with him, so new people were hired with the goal that the lead tech was going to be eventually fired. They also explained to me they never liked saying who was above anyone else, that we should not worry about job titles, that we work together as a team and that there is no one in charge. I, amongst my other coworkers, found this to be very odd, but we shrugged it off. This is more relevant further down the story.

The day they were fired was a chaotic one because it meant someone had to immediately assume all of the administrative responsibilities that they were in charge of. The person to do that was me, but I was never formally trained on how to do it and I was forced to rely solely on my previous experiences along with my intuition on how things worked. Not to mention, it was now early 2020 and we were in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, so special considerations and changes were needed to accommodate the changing work environment. Luckily, I had a pretty good understanding and knowledge on how the system we used for ticket, customer, and inventory tracking worked, so I was able to learn more from there. The new person that was hired during this transitional period is very important for later in the story, so keep in the mind! Anyways, I was swarmed with a list of new tasks and responsibilities, but I also got a pay raise, so I felt it was worth it at the time. I then started to work heavily on making sense of the system and logistically connect modules with each other to form procedures with the aim of reducing the time customers take during the initial check in. I built the company a PHP form so customer can directly enter their details into the system along with the ability for them to provide a signature to our terms & conditions without the need of the person at the front desk to do it for them manually. (Yes, we also had a receptionist by then). Other changes that helped us all out were made and all of them made things better one way or another.

More time passed, we continued to work and push the business forward. I was now working directly with my boss to handle the administrative side of the company. I was fully in charge of the system, making changes how I saw fit. I tried to explain to my boss why the changes needed to happen, but they never seemed to understand much on how everything worked, so they left it to me and my best judgement. It was during this time, after many meetings with them, that I started to see just how out of touch and unsynchronized with how our repair process worked. They didn't even know how to properly take care of a customer at the front, something that still holds true today! Albeit, not as bad as it was. Anyway. I began to pick up on these things and we started to argue about it; they would always do most of the talking and I would listen, but I would later reflect on what we talked and then I would give my opinion. A time came in which they decided to get someone else to take the helm on the administrative side of things because they were not seeing any "progress". I was still held highly and worked closely with whom they hired next to do said job.

To cut down a bit from the story, about 3 different people came in to do the admin side, all of which left because they saw quickly how it was to work with my boss. After the third person left, I had told them that this fourth person coming in would be the last time that I would invest in explaining how everything worked. After all, for each of those people, I had to sit one-on-one with them and basically onboard them on the processes and procedures that needed to be followed in order to keep our account in good standing and maintain our system with minimal errors. As you all may imagine, it is very tiring to have to do this process over and over again after you have your hopes up that this FINALLY may be the person to be able to properly work with my boss and maintained things how they needed to be maintained. But nope. They left as well.

I should have left right then and there, given my two weeks, and begun my search for a new job. You see, another major factor that had me rethinking things about this job was the very fact that, from the start, we all were paid with a 1099 (AKA Independent Contractors) and not with W2s. The duties and responsibilities we had at this job demanded for a W2, but since the company was fairly small and not well-established yet, we were always lenient on demanding this from our employer; however, we were always hopeful that the day would come this could be implemented. There was a very short period in which it was implemented, a whole two weeks! Then it was removed. It never was implemented again, but I stayed regardless now solely based on the fact that I considered my boss to still be a good, honest person who was just having a really tough time keeping things afloat and just doing what they could to help all of us out. (After all, they DID hire me when I was not working for years before, so I cannot be gracious enough to him about that). We still managed to work out through it, and my boss had brought someone from their own family to help out; that person lasted a month! And they left like everyone else.

It was around this time that the coworker mentioned from earlier (the one that was mostly hired to fire the one who smoked marijuana) was given the "helm" per say (even though my boss never liked to say it officially), so I began to butt heads with this coworker because they were under the impression that the situation at the workplace stemmed from my inability to be firm and take charge. Sure, I was not the most firm and demanding person, but how could I ever go against the wishes of my boss? The new coworker in charge began to speak more directly with my boss while I started to go back to being a technician and helping out with the queue. I was still consulted when they were going to make big changes, but no more than that. Even though I was fuming at the current changes that were being made, because I honestly thought I had done nothing wrong and people who were previously hired to do the admin job leaving because of my boss was a clear testament to that, I managed to collect myself and eventually work together with my coworker to both challenge our boss on his unproductive ideas. We started to work together, and instead of my coworker being fully in charge, we started to see it as we both were in charge. My coworker handled more of the workload distribution, and tech room management while I handled administrative tasks such as checking for errors in the system and fix discrepancies.

One thing I forgot to mention was that the system always had errors (as does any system in any company) but I kept those errors to a bare minimum, I'd say about 10% of it had errors that were not fixed; however, there was a time in which I was asked to no longer do that activity, so pretty much being forced to stop. When I did that, errors skyrocketed and it was just so bad that they had to put me back to do it.

To no one's surprise, my coworker eventually got really fed up with my boss. It got to the point that the few of us who worked there formed a WhatsApp group solely so we can talk amongst ourselves about how things were never going to improve and that this was all for nothing. We talked shit, you know, to vent our frustrations about the environment we worked in. Specially since about 70% of meetings we had with our boss, both 1-on-1 and as a team, would result in screaming and one of us walking out of the meeting angrily. It was just demoralizing and just plainly... sad. My boss also began to hire people without consulting us first, and expect us to train them so they can help out; something we did the first few times this happened, but we stopped nearing the end. My coworker eventually gave their two weeks' notice and my boss, well, they didn't react well. The notice was given to him on a Friday, and my coworker was fired that very Sunday. No notice, no extra time. Just plain gone along with an additional coworker. I later found out that the main motivation behind the firings was the sheer fact that they participated a lot in talking crap about my boss. I was just speechless and angrier than I have ever been.

The following Monday, I come in and I have a 1-on-1 meeting with my boss. We had sat together before and discussed some key changes that I needed for them to make in order to remain employed at their company. I had asked them to provide me with a proper W2, and another pay raise since it had been two years before my previous one. In the meeting we had that Monday, they pretty much told me that my pay raise was still "under review" and that a new person they had hired that very Monday was going to "supervise" me and that I had to work closely with them and my boss to move things along. I mentally checked out as I heard them talk and for the rest of the day, I focused my efforts in gathering all the files and documents I had for the company, make sure I didn't have extra copies of sensitive information such as payroll or client data (I kept track of all the things related to the company and did all of the hours for the employees). I copied it all to an external drive for my boss. The thing about that Monday, though, is that amidst this new drama that had come up, our boss had failed to pay us. Our pay always came on a Friday, bi-weekly, and they had not paid us when we were due that day... a recurring theme if I am to be honest. Our boss, more often that not, was always late on paying us when we were due; what I did on that Monday was told my boss that I urgently needed my full pay because I had payments coming up and I didn't have enough to cover them, so they agreed to take me to the bank directly themselves so I could deposit a check that had my full amount due written on it. (I do not drive.)

Once I made sure my payment was made in full and I copied all of the data relevant for my boss to continue their business, I quit. On the spot. I had called my mom earlier to come pick me up and wanted to wait for her to be outside so I didn't have to wait like an idiot after resigning like that. This is not the end of the story, though! You see, our company always had a "week in reserve" of pay for employees so the company could have some leverage to make sure employees do not take advantage of the company if they get fired or they decide to quit. (Things like taking assets of the company with them without permission), but they were always paid once my boss made sure that none of that was taking place. For my coworkers who were fired, they put their accounts and payments up to date in just a couple of days. With me, though, not so much. I had the misfortune of having experienced some recent damages to devices that were brought in for repair, two consecutive ones at that, and of course I assumed all responsibility for those damages and owned up to my mistakes when they happened. Not for it to be an excuse, but I was under a lot of pressure during that time due to all the things that were happening at the company and was not very careful with those repairs, but I digress. My bad. I took this into consideration before leaving though, and was well aware that the amount of the parts used to fix my mistakes would be deducted from my last week's pay, so I was fine with that.

What I was NOT fine with was that, almost half a year ago, there was another incident caused by me in which the volume flex cable of an iPhone XS was torn. A $6 part, mind you. The repair cost for this is, at the very most, $80, but my boss decided to handle it differently. They decided to purchase the device from the customer it belonged to for a whopping $250, which is the price the customer (a vendor, really) could sell the phone for. My boss thought it would be a good idea to pass down those $250 down to me and for my last week's pay to cover it when, again, they failed to listen to me that it could simply be repaired for much less. They just needed to take the phone to a different shop because that type of repair was not done at our store; and I told them I would cover the costs of that. In addition to all of this, they also decided that they would charge me an extra $50 for ordering duplicate tools that we already had at the store. Sure, it sucks extra tools were ordered when they are not immediately needed, but the fact stands the tools are there for company use. They are NOT broken or missing.

The day I quite was on March 6, 2023 and, so fairly recent. My boss now has some people there working for them and trying to hold everything together with that new person they hired on that fateful Monday to "supervise" me along with those two people they hired a few months back without consulting us (one of whom has no idea what to do, and constantly makes mistakes). The employee that works as a receptionist there is leaving soon as well.

But yeah, that's my story. My boss still owes me the money for my last week's pay and I am actively looking for a new, better job. Wish me luck, guys! Thank you for reading, I know this was a long post. Also, I would like to take a quick moment to say I have not actively participated in forums before (Including Reddit) so hopefully I didn't do anything wrong by writing this post. I just needed to put my thoughts in writing and for other people to understand my perspective on things.
submitted by goldpoochyena to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:16 ranchxnoobxtryhard MRAdv. Nuzlocke Run 4.5: Reshoring, Part 0

[Plot, no gameplay]
...We resume where we'd ended before. Spooky, having faced Medows in its final match, surprised everyone by defeating Medows in spectacular fashion. The entire stadium was on the edge of their seats, watching the two reptilians exchange slashes of their claws and tails, most notably the Board Members in the Glass Seats. Spooky had a hostility that was unlike anything we'd seen in these Experiments thus far: totally outperforming its more formidable counterpart in its opponent, something that the statistics and betters weren't able to predict. It expressed a fierceness that... Even now, I'm wracked by chills witnessing such brutality. There was a message sent from that Tournament floor... And that was: Spooky will not be taken gently. I had so much... Pride, and unfettered joy, watching its spirit erupt from within, which extended even to the furthest bleachers, felt by every attendee.
It... Stirred a deep anguish in me. I knew what this all meant. I knew that, even though Spooky tried its best, and fought its heart out, that it would not receive first place. It... Was difficult to stop myself from trying to leave. I didn't want to have to face what came next. I looked up to the Glass Seats, chest heavy. There're some pattings of shoulders, they seem... Pleased?
Looking back down to Spooky, it's slithering around the stage... Always liked the fight, and the cheering. It looked so proud, as it raised its arms up, turning to each corner of the thrilled audience. They definitely got their money's worth out of this one. It turned to the final corner and locked eyes with me... God, I felt paralyzed... What am I going to do about this? I can't...
...It can't be the end for Spooky. Not here, not like this. My eyes still fixed, I feel my arms rise up to match its form, and a vehement roar forces its way out of me. I felt my eardrums vibrate; from my periphery I saw the heads around me lean away as their persons covered their ears; and Spooky opens his maw in kind, shrieking into the air back towards me. It must've heard me. I just... Hope it couldn't see too much of me in that moment. It shouldn't be worried about why my cheeks are dripping. It's never seen that before. It doesn't deserve to be distracted by that right now. It felt like forever, that moment; until it, inevitably, had to end.
Spooky breaks gaze to parade around the Arena again. I feel my throat coarse as my lungs fill up again, breaking me out of the trance, and redirect my eyes to the clear box which enclosed Richard and the other Collars. He's shaking hands with each of Them as They exit in file; I have no idea what they're smiling so much about. This prick, what foolery is he up to this time?
I see one of them has white hair; I remember him from when I was Commissioned: he's one of the Overseers, and he doesn't look as jolly as the rest. He stays at the threshold for a moment longer and I can see Richard speaking with him intently. The Overseer exits, but they do not shake hands. Richard shrugs his shoulders, and I see his shoulders hunch relaxed... His head quivers and he fixes his tie and collar while grabbing his fancy bottle and walks to the front of the box. He's looking at my corner and keeps motioning, pointing downward at the Arena. He puts a thumbs-up whilst taking a swig out of the bottle, before turning around awkwardly and taking one of the women in the room in his arms; the others follow him out, and the lights in the room dim themselves off.
Spooky goes to the Resting Area through the corridor leading out of the Arena. I'll see it in a little while- I have someone I need to speak to first. Where are you, Richa-
"Oh hey, buddy!" I hear from the entryway to my Section as people begin to shuffle out. He motions for me to come towards him, maintaining the action for nearly a minute while I shuffle along the line of bleachers and walk down the steps. I don't have the energy anymore to act excited. He puts his hand on my shoulder and leans on it. "Gotta have a drink with me, man- that was the best thing I'd ever seen! Hey, why you lookin' so pale, man? You see a ghost or something? C'mon, you gotta-"
I shrug him off of me, trying to get him to take this seriously. He quickly reacts. "Hey, no, man, listen..." Replacing his hand on my shoulder, leaning in close to my ear. His voice drops dynamically to a hush, and I feel his hot breath against the side of my face...
..."I got some good news for ya. Let's have a little drinky, bud."
submitted by ranchxnoobxtryhard to MonsterRancher [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 05:16 ultloser just not in a good place mentally

I should be in a good place or feeling good because I have a job but it's one of the reasons I want to kill myself too. This job/career is obviously not for me but I don't know what else is out there for a highschool graduate only. I don't think there are job opportunities that is THIS decent for a non-college graduate but of course I have to be so fucking bad at it.
Every day I go to work, I just keep praying or wishing that something bad happens to me so I don't go to work anymore. I'm always stressed out because I'm not doing well and it's hard to talk and negotiate with customers when shame is pulling your voice down your gut. I hate it so bad. I hate it so fucking bad.
They say there's some sort of three month monitoring period to see if new hires can be regularized. I think I'm on my fourth month already or just about to be third but my stats are not looking good! I'm kinda just waiting for them to dump me in the middle of the night like my previous company did so I can just disappear and figure out a way to die. I shouldn't have come back home last time but this time, I don't think I really would.
Every time I'm just right outside the office, all I could think of is still having that extra free time to just...not go in at work. Just fucking disappear. But I always think about how troublesome it is to do that so the next thing I know I'm already punching in for work and just screaming in my head that my life stops already. Every day just feels like total crap. I don't feel like I'm even meant to be alive. I'm not doing so well at surviving and being an adult.
And then that night for work is coming again. There's this never-ending fear of being in there. I just want to die already. I haven't figured it out yet. I just wish I'm dead already. I'm so bad at this. I'm so fucking bad at this compared to everyone. I just don't want to pretend that I even want to live anymore. I don't even think I'll be happy.
submitted by ultloser to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]