I’m 22F, currently living as a junior designer in a biggest city in my country. I want to move to another city with a beach next year. (After 2 years of working here) I went there several times before, lived about a month 2 years ago. Its my favorite city.
I was depressed for few months working here. I went there for few days to freshen up. I loved it. The beach life really fits my personality and lifestyle.
It will be pretty hard to get a designer job there. If I do it will be very low income, same as now. Rent will be little cheaper.
My parents say it might be an unreasonable choice to move there just because I like it. I work in a small company now, so they expect me to work in a bigger one after my experience in this small one. They tell me, I’m too young and should be in a big city, working in a big company, earning money.
I didn’t take a year off my college, got job even before I graduated. I want some fun vacation life for a while.. I’m tired.
What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated!

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I am 27 and have managed to accrue a hefty sum of debt, currently about $500,000 of debt. Debt breakdown: 110k is credit card debt, ranging from 15-28% APR. 235k is unsecured personal loans, ranging from 15-34%. 155k is student loans. I have just graduated and will start paying these back in 6 months. Total monthly debt payment is around $13k and debts range from 7 years old to as recent as 10 months.
I pay $7000/month in rent and have been working with my landlord to try to find a tenant to replace my unit so I can move to a much smaller more affordable unit, but my lease has another year in it and so far nothing.
I earn $335,000/yr
I have about $50,000 in real estate and long term investments (think I Bonds, CDs, etc) which can take quite a while to cash out if needed. I have 2 months worth of rent and utility in short term investments ($20,000) that I can liquidate with a few days notice.
I have $110,000 in my 401k
I do not have any other assets. I do currently have a lawsuit still pending for the total damage of a vehicle I used to own from 2021.
I have let it get too far and really need to take a hard look in the mirror and cut this out, and I’m considering my first option as don’t buy anything except the bare necessities and take out a loan from my 401k to attack my highest interest debts (401k borrowing max of 50k to pay off 50k 34% APR debt). Focus on paying that off and snowballing the rest of my way through my debt, while trying very hard to move out to a 5k lesser apartment. Hopefully my plan is in three years, I’ll have no debt, no loans, and a much more controlled spending habits.
Is there any major pitfalls that come with a 401k loan in this circumstance, anything I may be missing, or anything I should do prior to a 401k loan?
Thanks for your help!

Selling two tickets for MetLife Saturday 6/10. Both GA. asking for $358.55 total which is what we paid

This scenario took place in BC.
A few months back my neighbor rented his two bedroom suite to a single person. In his listing he had specified one price for single occupancy and a higher price for double. They wrote the lease for single occupancy pricing.
Shortly after moving in his tenant then moved in his girlfriend, then later the tenants sister also moved in. After speaking with a tenancy board representative my neighbor's understanding is that this is perfectly legal in BC given that it's physically a two bedroom suite despite it having been rented and priced as a one bedroom unit. Also the tenant did not need his permission and the LL is not entitled to any additional rent.
This kinda blew my mind so I'm wondering how does one protect themselves from these types of scenarios if the tenant has the right to just move people in?
Should he have specifically stated in the lease that there would be increased pricing based on number of occupants?
Is there a legal way to correctly set up a single occupancy agreement that's binding?
Tia

Got in an accident last week. Other driver 100% at fault. My car is sitting in a tow yard, likely totaled, waiting for other driver’s insurance to collect and inspect it.
I need to rent a car to get to work, but I’m struggling to understand how insurance works.
I carry liability only with my own policy. Will this still cover me while in a rental? Or would I still need to buy additional coverage from the company? (Enterprise)
Other driver’s insurance said they wouldn’t pay for a damage waiver. This doesn’t seem fair to me, since I can’t afford $30 a day for however long it takes to sort my car, and I really can’t afford an incident with the rental and not be covered. Is this standard practice?
I don’t think my credit card offers any rental coverage.
Thanks

Hi Im pretty new to thinking realistically ab how Im going to pay off my loans. Please be nice 🙏
I just finished grad school with about $140k debt and making about 70k right now, but likely significantly more potential down the road. 30k is from undergrad which my parents (amazing) agreed to pay, and they intend to make a lump payment as soon as the repayment requirement starts.
Currently living with my parents and really don't want to be. I understand the best financial decision would be to stay with my parents until the loans are paid off... but that would really suck since I'm assuming these loans will take ~10 years to pay off (very rough estimate obviously). Don't really want to be here into my 30s. Given the affordability of housing in my area, I could get an apartment for a reasonable price $500-$1000/mo. But I could also wait several years and try to save enough to buy a house (build equity rather than essentially throwing money away on rent, right?).
So, does it ever make sense to try to save for a house rather than putting all would-be savings into repaying the loans? Anything I said seem absurd? Am I stupid?

Started at age 12 with ADD, around 15-16 I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression. In and out of the hospital psychiatric ward due to suicidal ideation and self harm. I began seeing a therapist and psychiatrist at that point. I've been on and off meds since 12 and I'm running out of options as far as medication goes (I'm 26 now btw). I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder which explains A LOT. My mother tried applying for me as a kid, and I have applied 4-5 more times since then. This is my last try. I see a therapist every week, I have a bad history with dealing with emotions properly and I've never had any sort of "good" coping mechanism. I also see a psychiatrist once a month, and I'll be weaning off my Zoloft 150mg and beginning Lithium next month in place of the Zoloft. I also take Seroquel and Lamictal.
I believe I provided everything I could to them, as I always have in the past. I sign releases for my therapist, psychiatrist, and the multiple hospitals I've been admitted to (usually admitted myself). I had also recently applied for SNAP where they require you to work or seek work. My therapist filled out the psychological paperwork saying it is not recommended that I work due to the severity of the issues I'm having. I did tell them that I smoked weed and took Kratom (just google it), I feel like that alone would be grounds to deny me. But since that visit, I've quit both and only vape nicotine. No alcohol, no weed, no kratom, etc.
SO. Am I wasting my time again...? I called the number to check the status and it has been less than two months since I initially started the application again, it says they've already made a decision.. This seemed odd, because it took quite a while in the past, every single time. I'm trying to do everything right, and I'm actively seeking help and working on my issues, but I honestly feel that SSA and/or the IMA Group doesn't take mental health into consideration as much as they should.
I do plan on pursuing this all the way through this time. I will get a lawyer if it has to come to that. I'm tired, and I just want to be able to work on myself for once without having to worry so much about something I really just don't care about (money).. I want/need this simply so I can pay my part of rent and cover my own food, clothes, gas, etc. It's currently weighing on my younger brother, he basically takes care of me, and he's also my only, and best friend. He's all I've got, other than my mother who unfortunately got sick with encephalitis resulting in brain damage.. I'm happy she survived, but she's been in a rehab dementia ward for quite a while, and may be for another year.
Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.
Would you recommend anything specific that I should or can do to improve the chance of me finally getting this?

30 years old living with domestic partner (DP). My total compensation (TC) is 170k and salary is 136k. My domestic partner’s TC is 260k and salary is 145k.We’re trying to save for a down payment on a house in the San Francisco Bay Area (Santa Clara, Sunnyvale, Dublin, San Ramon, and San Jose).
Since January 2023 we saved @ 124k in a 5.15% HYSA, but most houses here are 1.3 million or higher. DP matches any money I contribute to the HYSA.
Every month I pay off my credit card bills. I'm maxing out my 401(k) (16% of income, up to 3% employer match), HSA, and the Employee Stock Purchase Program (ESPP) (15% of my income).
Upon vesting, I immediately sell any shares from the ESPP and Restricted Stock Units (RSUs) and transfer this money to the HYSA.
Where can I cut back on spending to save more for the house down payment?
I have some bonds that will mature:

Amount	Maturity Date
6k	August 15
11k	September 15
8k	October 26
12k	November 28
12k	December 17

My paycheck:

Bi-weekly Gross Pay	$5,220.03
Traditional 401(k)	$887.41
Dental	$3.75
Vision	$2.75
Taxes	$1,279.74
Medical insurance with Domestic Partner	$75.00
Employee Stock Purchase Program	$783.01
Take Home/Net Pay	$4,111.36

May expenses:

Rent (getting Bilt Rewards points)	$2,076.95
Car Insurance	$63.13
Gas	$72.57
Internet	$25.00
Dining Out	$32.03
Boba (Bubble Tea)	$61.03
Desserts	$41.10
Parking	$1.42
Netflix	$15.49
Groceries	$5.99 (mostly eat free food from office)
Medical bill payment plan (3 more months)	$142.50
Target	$20.51
Leftover cash	$1,553.64

​

As a campus hire who was expecting to start no later than September, a push back to 2024 and finding that news out a week before graduation was really not what I was expecting out of such a large firm with plenty of resources. It just sucks because some people don’t have the option to live off of parents and need to pay rent/student loans/personal expenses up until then. It also sucks because all Deloitte says is that “you can work wherever you want until you start! :D” but 17 interviews later, how on earth do you find a decent paying job knowing that you’re just going to use them and eventually leave. It just sucks and it feels unethical and it sucks.
TLDR: I wish Deloitte provided some more support regarding these pushed back dates. I totally understand that many on here are going through a whole lot worse and I’m truly sorry for those situations. I just wanted to flag that it’s a big weight on someone’s shoulders to fend for themselves for another 5-7 months after expecting to start. I would’ve chosen a different firm if I knew this would happen earlier :(

Sun Herald paywall. Anita Lee article. Copy/Paste
Mississippi Coast business couple Ted and Julie Cain are trying to avoid paying a $32.6 million civil judgment against him for defrauding Medicare, the U.S. Attorney’s Office alleges in a lawsuit filed to collect the money.
Julie Cain is liable for repayment of $27.4 million of the total owed for her part in the fraud. The jury found that the couple billed Medicare over a 12-year period for work they never did at the former Stone County hospital, which Ted Cain owns and now leases to Gulfport Memorial Hospital.
The Cains had not paid a dime on the judgment by November 2022, government filings show. They are appealing the jury’s verdict in the civil case tried in U.S. District Court in Gulfport.
Attorneys for the government say the Cains tried to conceal their assets six months before their trial started because they were “staring down the barrel of a multi-million judgment.”
Before the trial, they transferred most of their assets to two trusts set up for their children, a son and daughter. Records show the Cains transferred 25 companies to the trusts, including LLCs that hold property. But Ted Cain controls those trusts through a management company, the government says.
“Hence, by the stroke of a pen, Ted Cain — who minutes prior was the owner of dozens of LLCs and real properties — became almost penniless,” the government said in a legal filing.
The government is asking the judge presiding over the case, Henry T. Wingate, to find that the transfer of assets was fraudulent, or assess damages against the trusts and its holdings. The government also wants to investigate the financial status of the Cains and the trusts.
The government’s ultimate goal is to collect the money the Cains owe and to prevent the Cains from drawing down assets from the trusts.
Wingate froze the couple’s assets before the civil case was decided. Ted Cain denies in legal filings that the assets transferred belong to him.
The Cains, represented by former Gov. Ronnie Musgrove, say they transferred the assets to the trusts “for legitimate estate planning purposes” and no fraud was involved. They also say that they are able to pay the judgment against them, despite the transfer of assets.
The fight over the assets is set for trial in March 2024 before Wingate in federal court. The Cains, their childrens’ trusts and companies and property held by either the elder Cains or the trusts, are defendants in the case. Cain assets: from Biloxi to Hattiesburg
Cain bought Stone County Hospital in 2001, after it had closed three times. He testified during the trial that the 25-bed hospital would not have been successful and residents would have been without an emergency room had he not overseen its operation.
He paid himself more than $15 million for the oversight from 2004-2013 and his wife $2.3 million as hospital administrator. But testimony during the trial showed they did little work for the money, with the government insurance program Medicare reimbursing them $13 million of the total.
Government attorneys said in a legal filing: “Ted Cain’s ‘work’ failed to meet every single condition of payment and evidence at trial established that Ted Cain’s visits to the hospital were to the cafeteria for the fried chicken and catfish on Wednesdays and Fridays, respectively.”
The jury found the Cains collected more than $10 million of their salaries through fraud. Judge Wingate then tripled the damages, as the law requires.
As a young man, Cain, who was born and raised in Wiggins, followed his father into the nursing home business. He soon branched out, becoming the owner of companies such as The Focus Group advertising agency in Biloxi, Cain Cattle Co. in Perkinston and Quest Pharmacy in Hattiesburg.
Ted Cain owns hundreds of acres in Stone County, where he was born, including this cattle farm. The government maintains Cain is trying to shield his assets, including dozens of companies that he owns, from a $32.6 million fraud judgment he’s been ordered to pay in a civil case.
Ted Cain owns hundreds of acres in Stone County, where he was born, including this cattle farm. The government maintains Cain is trying to shield his assets, including dozens of companies that he owns, from a $32.6 million fraud judgment he’s been ordered to pay in a civil case.
He also owns multiple properties, including a waterfront home in Ocean Springs.
His companies, with the exception of Stone County Hospital and Corporate Management Inc. in Gulfport, were transferred to his children’s trust. Both the hospital and CMI were also defendants found liable in the Medicare fraud case. Medicare fraud under appeal
The Cains appealed the fraud verdict on multiple grounds to the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.
They say the government bypassed Medicare’s administrative process for recovery of overpayments. Taking the Cains to court allowed the government to recover damages that tripled the overpayment.
They also say the government failed to prove the Cains “knowingly” submitted false claims because their hospital salaries were reported annually to the government.
Government attorneys argue the verdict should stand.
They say Ted Cain accomplished his fraud through a “sweetheart contract” between Stone County Hospital and Corporate Management Inc.
Ted Cain and co-defendant Tommy Kuluz, right, leave the federal courthouse in Gulfport during a break in a 2020 civil trial where a jury found they committed Medicare fraud by paying Cain and his wife salaries they did not earn at his Stone County Hospital. Kuluz is chief financial officer of a Cain company that managed the hospital, now leased to Gulfport Memorial as Memorial Hospital Stone County.
Ted Cain and co-defendant Tommy Kuluz, right, leave the federal courthouse in Gulfport during a break in a 2020 civil trial where a jury found they committed Medicare fraud by paying Cain and his wife salaries they did not earn at his Stone County Hospital. Kuluz is chief financial officer of a Cain company that managed the hospital, now leased to Gulfport Memorial as Memorial Hospital Stone County.
CMI charged the hospital “exorbitant” management fees to disguise the size of Ted Cain’s executive compensation at Stone County Hospital, which was 15 times the average, the government attorneys contend.
They also say Medicare was billed for “hundreds of hours” that Julie Cain did not work, first as hospital administrator, then as a consultant and director.
The Cains’ Medicare fraud appeal is still pending. Leasing to Memorial Hospital
Through legal filings in the assets case, the government has tried to establish a pattern of concealment on the Cains’ part.
When he leased the hospital building to Memorial in late 2019, Ted Cain did not disclose the Medicare fraud lawsuit pending against him, his wife and the hospital. The government says the lease terms required disclosure of pending litigation.
Cain also identified himself as the owner of Wiggins Acute Care, his company that owned the hospital building and would be leasing it to Memorial.
But Wiggins Acute Care was one of the companies transferred to the Cain childrens’ trusts created months earlier.
In its initial lease with Wiggins Acute Care, Memorial agreed to rent Stone County Hospital, now Memorial Hospital Stone County, for $129,000 per month. Fourteen days after the lease was signed, the Cains finalized paperwork that created the trusts months earlier, further indicating their attempts to hide assets, government lawyers say.
Cain paid himself the difference between Gulfport Memorial’s rent payment and the monthly mortgage of $94,503.37 that Wiggins Acute Care owed on the hospital, government attorneys say.
In addition to Cain’s own spending, government attorneys are also concerned because, they say, his children have access to, or are benefiting from, the appreciation of assets in the trust funds.

1.housing crisis everyone is experiencing it How can we fix this? Well there are many but for one example the government could construct more houses and buy houses and put them up for rent at a cheaper price
2.hating on the gardai while I believe you can hate on them it’s unnecessary to go out of your way and yell at their faces can this be fixed? Well not immediately but a way to fix it would be a more centralized control over education teaching kids why the gardai must be respected
3.youth crimes im a youth myself and I’m ashamed to admit I might have committed some crimes I’m sorry but I try my best not too I notice that committing crimes has become this new cool thing how to fix this? Well stricter punishment on youth but that’s dumb I think more education could fix that

1. Vaping on youths I am fortunate enough god didn’t allow me to smoke drink or vape in my life others aren’t now I know vapes/cigarettes was designed to be addictive yet I see kids smoke it how do we stop this you might ask well how about instead of asking how to stop this for youths how about in general drinking we can’t ban that but what’s the purpose of cigarettes and vapes? I mean I guess the economy and tax income so I guess that’s why but anyways to stop it on youths well proof of age is required when someone is clearly underage

5.prices currently prices are rising bc of inflation this is bc of housing costs going up and everything going up how do we stop this? Like before buy all houses and lower prices
6.the Russian training incident showed an embarrassing side of Ireland Russia entered our waters well our economic zones but still they entered our waters and how did we respond with? Negotiations was that a good idea definitely I hate seeing people say Ireland shouldve done something else. WHAT? Oohhh yeah let’s bring out our own navy what I’m saying is increase military budget not too much but just enough
That’s all for now if you have better solutions pls comment btw this isn’t hate or anything

Question is because they want us to run under they MC, but use our own SCAC code... that doesn't make sense to me
MC-1467240

I would like to preface this with the fact I probably am not highest priority to help out. I'm single and no major obligations other than to my cat and myself.
With that said Im barely keeping up with rent or bills. I work at a dog daycare and I'm trying to find a new roommate but now my vehicle is on needs of repair and idk how to cover it.
My plan is to leave my apartment and camp near my daycare until I can pay to fix my car and then get a gym membership to shower and stuff.
I also have a cat who means the entire world to me. He'd need to be safe and Id have to give him to someone I know and trust so that would be really hard not having him with me for a while.
I can't say I'm any more deserving of help than anyone else on here. But I'm an open book and will be willing to talk or whatever if you want proof.
I have made mistakes myself to be in this position and am trying to learn from them but if anyone would like to help it would mean so much to be able to keep my cat with me. And I would pay the cat tax!!

Hey Seattle, booked a spontaneous trip to visit your lovely city this weekend ❤️Planning on checking out UW, Pike Place, SLU, Fremont, and Seattle Center so far. Staying downtown (one night at Hyatt regency, one at Sheraton grand).
Renting a car, hotel parking, etc. is looking pricey. I’d love to road-trip up to Ross Lake in North Cascades early Saturday, but am wondering whether I might be better off just spending my weekend in town or hopping on a ferry. How’s the light rail from SEA around 4-6PM if I ditch the car? I’m comfortable with NYC subway, and use transit occasionally/live close to downtown in LA. Anything too harrowing for a dude with just a backpack getting off at Westlake station? Unashamedly, I’m looking for real hipster-y shit (tote bags and coffee galore), so any recs are vastly appreciated. Happy to return the favor down here in LA.

My family has owned the same farm for five or six generations. My grandma was the owner of it but she died a couple months ago. Her whole life she talked about how she never wanted the property to be sold. Since she died the land belongs to my mom and uncle (who’s been very uninvolved so it’s basically up to my mom). It’s about two hours from where we live now and in a small rural town where there’s no way anyone in my family can make use of it. After lots and lots of thought my mom decided to auction it and hold an estate sale but from what we’ve talked about she isn’t super happy about the idea and she’s afraid she’ll hardly break even bc of all the money to do it. The thing is for years I’ve always dreamed of living on the farm and having cattle or crops. But I don’t have any farming knowledge, I’m in college 1000 miles away, and barely an adult. My mom has jokingly asked if I wanted the farm a couple times but we’ve never seriously talked about it and she’s expressed a lot of reluctance to sell. There’s a college not to far from the farm but if I were to do that I’d basically be changing my entire path. To be fair I don’t know what I’m doing in college and for the past year have been just biding my time til I figure out what I want to do with my life. If I moved there I would have 100 acres, a house, someone who’d already want to rent the land all for free basically. I don’t know if that’s really what I want or if I just feel like I should do it. My mom has worked so hard to get where she’s at she’s a first gen college grad and a doctor. I know she wants me to be successful and happy in life. I wouldn’t say I’m happy in college. More so in idle mode. Anyone somehow have a similar experience or just any advise for me? I struggle talking about serious and genuine feelings and things even with my mom. Edit: I’m a 19 yr old man, lots of part time job experiences, no farm or labor, don’t want to disclose a lot more personal information

This piece recounts the first time I drank an ancient plant medicine called Ayahuasca. It comes from Amazonian tribes who consider it a sacred plant medicine with healing powers and, given what a hugely beneficial impact it has had on my life, I am very comfortable describing it as medicine.
One Saturday, in the spring of 2016 I was greeted by the medicine man himself with a big hug, let’s call him Blu. I came into his kitchen to be greeted by several women with slightly comical homemade, feather headdresses and couldn’t help but think I’d walked into a kid’s birthday party. In the garden, there was a small festival tent set up which had a hay bale altar with easter decorations.
The ceremony had around 30 other participants and 10 shamans. In the middle of the tent stood the medicine man’s wife, Sun who was very much the master of the ceremony. She had the most daring headdress, flowing orange robes and a rattle in her hand. She spoke to us with warm, friendly humour telling us that we would know the medicine had kicked in once her singing started to sound good!
She advised that each experience is unique and we should try not to have huge expectations, sometimes nothing at all happens the first time. Having waited five years for this day I was quietly confident that this would not be the case for me and boy was I right!
We went around the circle introducing ourselves and explained what we were hoping to get out of the ceremony. Focusing on your intent during a psychedelic experience is meant to help you get what you are looking for.
During my turn, I expressed my desire to regain my self-confidence and passion for the opportunities and women in my life to whom I never seem to be able to fully commit.
Once we had all shared, we learned that it was time to drink.
My heart was filled with profound forbearing and excitement as I went up to receive a small glass of harsh-tasting, brown liquid which certainly tasted like medicine!
I had a basic camping mattress and a duvet laid out for me which I snuggled into before pulling on my eye mask. I was on my back trying not to think too much about the medicine, whether it was working or maybe wouldn’t work while I meditated for an hour.
The shamans started singing and shaking rattles. One of the female shamans, Nubia had an incredibly beautiful soprano voice that stood out from the others. It was while listening to the song of the shamans that I started to feel a warm flow of energy along my limbs. I tried to dismiss it at first, thinking it might somehow be related to my fasting for 40 hours prior.
When I moved my eye mask to let some light into my eyes I saw the tent roof overlaid with a flowing grid of beautiful, metallic, geometric grids with multi-coloured light flowing through the lines. The Individual elements of the grid reflected every colour of the rainbow like oil on water’s surface and I started to feel joyful, like a child rolling through leaves on a warm autumn day.
Nubia started singing to us again and it was like nothing I’d ever heard. It was so beautiful and mesmerizing I didn’t want her to stop.
I could hear the people around me, some giggling and some vomiting or, purging medicine into their buckets. I checked myself, asking if should I purge but I felt a gentle presence speak inside of me saying: ‘No, you’re fine. Just relax.’

They call this presence Mother Ayahuasca. The reason people drink the brew is to speak with and receive her guidance.

My eye mask was back on my face and I turned into the fetal position with the duvet pulled over my head I felt exceptionally comfy with this strange yet familiar presence as I started to explore the un-intimidating hallucinogenic world within my mind. She showed me complex pictures of flowing energy with multicoloured lights in perfect alignment while I was gently gliding along, watching the beautiful colourful spectacle.
It was around this time that Sun asked into the ceremony if anybody would like a second dose. I slowly sat upright and looked around. I checked myself. Truthfully, I was enjoying the experience. I was slightly nervous that having more could take me to a deeper, darker place however I had mentally prepared myself for the full immersion experience.
The presence told me: ‘It’s okay. You can handle it. I’ll be gentle.’
So I pulled on my shoes, got up and slowly walked over feeling slightly wobbly. I was worried Sun might tell me I’d had enough but when I sat in front of her, she gave me a big smile and beckoned me towards her. The second dose was about half the previous one and tasted familiar, not quite as harsh.
After I got up I walked out of the tent into the house. Sitting in the small toilet I saw the walls gently rippling with energy and recognized the phenomenon from previous psychedelic experiences. I’ve experienced mild, LSD-induced hallucinations before but nothing quite as mesmerizing as watching bright sparks of colorful energy emerging from objects and pictures.
Snuggling back under my duvet I listened to the rattles and felt myself floating deeper into the kaleidoscopic universe seeing my own body curled up but instead of my skin and flesh, I saw myself as streaming veins of energy. Millions of thin fibre optic threads pulsated with warm healing energy which outlined my body.
I felt myself lying on the floor in the jungle with mystical symbols and ineffable tribal figures around me. I felt like I was in a different, timeless dimension however I was surprisingly lucid and could snap out of it to check myself with ease. At some point I had to giggle as my boring pragmatist made the smart-ass remark, ‘You’re not lying in the jungle. You’re in a garden less than 100 meters from the Thames estuary!’
I had my eyes closed for most of the afternoon. I was seeing ever richer patterns. When I opened my eyes the patterns were still there but they were overlaid on the reality in front of my eyes. I could change them with the blink of an eye or bring back shapes I had seen previously.
I started thanking this entity for showing me all this beauty and felt the urge to reciprocate. I revealed some personal memories but they looked so very different. It seemed like they had a photo filter applied that filled the memory with golden light as they came alive with breathtaking beauty, streaming with colourful energy. I visited various life moments and it felt like entering into a photo and suddenly being there on that day!
I was there sitting in our garden at home. Once again I was a chubby baby covering my face with baked beans. I was actually there! I was picking the baked beans off my face and pushing them, one by one into my mouth.
They say that Mother Ayahuasca is a deep ancient spirit and I always imagined her as a deeply serious, majestic queen. I started wondering what she might look like… and so she appeared.
She was stern but not an old woman. Aya was young, perfectly matched to my age and exceptionally beautiful. She had long, smooth brown hair and big beautiful eyes filled with power and inspiration. As I looked closer at her exquisite face I realized that her features were constantly changing complexion. Her skin cycled from Amazonian to Latin to Nubian to Oriental and Mediterranean. She was outlined by swirling rainbow-coloured curls of light. The rest of her naked body only came into being when I directly looked at it. I realize that she was not one woman but a combination of every beautiful woman I’ve ever felt attracted to. I wanted her. She wanted me. We kissed and whirled around as we floated through my Entheoverse. My body of swirling rainbow energy flowed into her and hers into mine and this is how we made love passionately.
I had visions of us being on a summer weekend getaway in a stylish city. We lay in luxurious hotel rooms and I remember a cream-coloured clock on the wall, with Roman numerals but no hands to tell the time. I was dressed smartly as I led her by her hand into classy restaurants that had champagne poured, waiting by our table. It was like we were on a never-ending date, teleporting from one experience into the next, eloping while taking our time to enjoy each other’s energy, and passionately loving one another.
Afterwards, she lay in my arms and I asked what else she could show me and she replied; ‘What else would you like me to show you?’ I wasn’t prepared for this and my mind went a bit blank realizing that I could do anything, go anywhere in space and time I wanted.
I asked her; ‘Can you help me find my confidence?’
There was no clear answer. Instead, I had the random idea to become the temple stem of my friend Julio’s glasses. I looked at him from the bit next to the hinge and I could see him put the glasses on in the morning, and take them off at night and in the reflection of his right eye, I saw him coming home and watched his beautiful daughter jumping into his arms. Then I saw on his eyeball the reflection of me walking into the room and a felt warm glow spread through me.
Next, I visited my baby nephew sitting in my brother’s living room, in his red chair. I crossed my hands on my chest like he does and saw my brother and his wife smiling at me giving me warm hugs but more than seeing their faces while they hugged my body I could feel the way they felt when they put their arms around me and press me to their chests.
I saw all my brother’s smiles and happy faces as we jollied about, trying to make each other laugh as we do. I visited all my closest friends, took in their smiles and one by one, as I hugged each of them, I could feel their love for me.

Later I realized that Aya was indeed trying to give me confidence by showing me how much the people in my life care for me

I visited the girl I had just started dating called Anna whose raw energy I find simply irresistible. I came into her new apartment that I’d never visited before. She was standing in sexy lingerie by a floor-to-ceiling window looking down onto the busy Tottenham Court road. I remember her turning her beautiful face as I approached, touching it with ten fingers and kissing her lips passionately as we erupted into rainbow swirls of energy.
I also visited my ex-girlfriend Jo, whose body and spiritual mind I still loved but whose soul is too damaged by the fear of rejection and tough mental armour I never managed to vanquish.
She was asleep in our white room in LA that she had so carefully decorated and I spooned my energy into her little body. She woke and we cuddled and kissed and I said I was sorry it didn’t work out between us and she replied; ‘It’s ok. I wasn’t ready for you…’
I asked Aya if we had made the right decision to stop forcing it and just be friends and felt her nod wisely.
At some point, I remember all three of us lying in bed together but instead of feeling like the king of the world, I felt like a greedy pig.
One of the underlying themes of the whole journey was how slowly gently and unhurried everything felt and I think the lesson I was meant to learn was that it’s ok to not settle right now — I thought I just haven’t found the one, the right woman to share my life with…
Aya kept giving me gentle advice throughout. I asked her about the stimulants I love such as cannabis, coffee and alcohol but instead of the stern telling-off I was secretly hoping to receive she told me; ‘You know they don’t serve you when you abuse them but they are also a part of what shaped you… Take care of the beautiful body you have been given.’
She repeated many times; Take care of yourself more… take care.
I asked Aya how I could find the power to harness my mind which has always been blessed and cursed with a distracting imagination and to keep my lack of attention from killing my dreams.
Instantly, I saw an unreal version of myself.
I was standing in something like a black shiny display window, straight out of a Mercedes advert. This guy was not merely a little bit better than I am now and I realized that the version staring back at me was my best self!
That guy is sharp, he is determined, and he dresses immaculately. That guy knows exactly what he is doing. When he enters the room, people notice his presence from the invisible halo that brightly surrounds him.
I asked Aya, how I could become him and the answer became clear. That guy works. He knows exactly where his energy comes from and all of a sudden I understood — The confident image he projects comes from the love he feels for himself which makes him look loved and successful in other people’s eyes. There is no room for distraction because that guy knows his worth and knows his purpose.
She gave me such a clear image of myself. I can still see myself standing motionless in the black, shiny shop window with rainbow-coloured fibre optic strains lighting the air that gently flowed around me.
How long I lay like that is impossible to say but I guess it was around 5–6 hours but it felt like an eternity of journeying into myself.
But it wasn’t all just warm energy and neon colours. I distinctly remember at some point realizing, it was time to go to the toilet. Afterwards, I walked back into the garden and found the Ewok-faced little terrier yapping at me. I laughed at him as I noticed the blue silver and chrome energy swirls around his head and ears. I couched down to see if I could pacify him but I suddenly became aware that his barking must be interfering with other people’s experiences. I turned to hurry into the tent as one of the shamans came out, to tell off the dog saying; ‘What’s wrong doggy, he’s alright!’ As I walked into the tent there were certainly more people sitting upright than when I had left and I read some irritated expressions on people’s faces, at least three people got up and walked out.
I lay down in shame but all my friend’s energy avatars ran up to me saying ‘It’s fine!’ as they doggy piled on top of me. It made me feel better. I felt them warm the cold shame out of me and I began relaxing again. I played around as before but the energy had markedly changed, it didn’t feel as light-hearted anymore. It was heavier and more serious. I was feeling the effects of the medicine becoming even stronger so I decided to sit up but when I opened my eyes, I saw Nubia hit the deck at my feet on a hastily arranged bed after having just purged into a bucket. I could see vomit in her black wavy hair as I started to think, ‘…oh dear if even the shamans are starting to falter, I’m in trouble.’
I didn’t know what to do. I tried to lie back down again. I asked Aya to help me, as she had several times previously when I’d gotten a little bit frightened but this time I could not sense her presence and I knew why. I had to go through this for myself.
It felt like I was sitting in a shopping trolley, rolling down a steep hill toward darkness, realizing as it picked up speed and bucked to and fro that this had been a bad decision, a dangerous idea and the only way it would end would be for the momentum to collide with suffering.
I needed help so I weakly put up my hand and within a few seconds, one of the shamans sat down next to me. She was wearing a white feather dress and occoured to me like an angel. She helped me sit up and as soon as I was sitting upright I began to retch. She passed me my bucket which I gratefully barfed into…
After I purged I felt better. My angel asked me if I felt okay again and I asked her to stay with me and hold my hand for a while longer, which she did. I gently leaned over and rested my head on her feathery bosom and felt a sense of peace and strength flow back into me. I saw my energy self, the swirling electrons of light curling my limbs as I sat cross-legged, hunched over like a bear cub being cradled by his mother bear.
She helped me lie back down and I started to return to my technicoloured dream state. I asked Aya if we could make love again and she said ‘Of course’ but it felt different, when I opened my inner eye to see the face of the person I was entangled with I saw my own. Aya had taken on my form and this might well be the strangest thing I’ve ever written but I was exceptionally attracted to myself and I realized that this could be how girls who are in bed with me see me. I could feel the burning desire a girl feels when we make love. It felt strange but also good.

They said Ayahuasca show you not what you want to see but rather what you need to see at any specific point in your life.

I visited countless friends, some people no longer in my life becouse we have grown apart and even those whose who have passed away. I visited my German grandparents and told them how much I loved them.
While I cuddled Oskar, the dog I grew up with, and played with him in our garden I looked up to see my dad approach us with tears in his eyes. I knew what he was going to say. When he told me that my grandmother had died I didn’t run away in confusion as I had on that day, instead, I went to hug my mom and for the first time, I empathized with the pain she had felt in that moment of hearing that her mother had passed.
I visited my friend Keith whose passing I have always felt a slight responsibility for since I know he read my travel blog and went to Costa Rica a month after I’d been there where he swam out to sea and drowned. I hugged him tightly and cried gently but he grabbed me firmly by the shoulders and said; ‘It wasn’t you! It wasn’t you…’
I visited my old school friend Alex who I had not been close to but whose misfortune to be on flight 447 still touched me. I told him and his beautiful fiance whom I’d never met that I was so sorry for them having been so frightened when they died but instead of me comforting them, they hugged and comforted me as I lay there silently crying for the people I missed. But it was not painful. Quite the opposite, it felt cathartic, like I was letting out the pain and healing myself.
At some point, while it was still light out Sun said “OK, I know that some of you are still on your journey but we will start having some food soon so if you want to share what you experienced now is the time.” I listened to some of the reports.
Several people said that they had a very rough ride because they had tried to fight it. One girl even said she was convinced she was dying. I felt very lucky and grateful for my gentle, warm ride through my multi-coloured Enthenoverse and wondered if I would ever return…
When it was my turn I said that I had finally been able to see how my friends and family see me and why they think I am awesome which will give me the confidence to finally believe that I am awesome (that got a laugh :). I also shared my new appreciation for how profoundly beautiful my life has been up until now and hoped that it will give me the strength to stop comparing myself to others, to focus on my own path and become my best self.

10 weeks later

My life has undeniably changed over the last 10 weeks.
The following day I drove back to my rented shepherd’s hut in a nature reserve and had an exceptionally rich experience walking through the marshes. The sun was shining and everything seemed so intensely beautiful. I was moved just by watching something as simple as a male and a female bird fly across the water in perfect sync. It made me well up emotionally.
I’ve cried a lot recently and I believe it’s a good thing. I cry on most days.
Usually, it happens when I see someone doing something kind and for a brief moment I get overwhelmed and shed a tear. But again, they are not tears of pain they are usually tears of joy and I feel like I have become much more in touch with my emotions.
It feels like bringing Aya’s female spirit into my awareness has tripped a switch in my brain making me more feminine, hence a more complete human being. I’ve also started to care more about my appearance. My mum commented recently that I looked different and she is right. I’ve been working out more. I get my hair cut more frequently and I’ve even gone and bought new clothes that dress me with more style, even when it’s not particularly necessary.
My work attitude has also changed. I find myself a lot more productive and capable of operating at a higher level while enjoying the entire experience so much more!
I honestly feel more in control of my life. I feel focused on who I am, who I can become and what I can achieve. Previously my decisions in life seemed more vague and fuzzy.
Above all, I feel the happiest that I have felt since childhood. The last 10 weeks have been almost like a too-good-to-be-true dream for me.
I’m also positively influencing the people around me. My grandfather wrote me the following sentence after my most recent visit.
You have this mysterious gift of raising the spirits of people both just by being there and by your gift of empathy.

Epilogue

I have indeed had more Ayahuasca ceremonies since I first wrote this and even though there was a 4 year gap between my 4th and my 5th experience I have felt the effect compound over time. I will be publishing more of my trip reports over on medium and would appreciate your supporting me by following me over there where I also publish contant whihc is not just psychedilic in nature. https://medium.com/@hi_niels

Our apartment complex (Grand Terrace Apartments) is getting a new management company and that was a "rent hike" red flag for me. So I started researching rent control in California, specifically 1947.12 of the Civil Code which outlines rent increase limits, and exemptions to the law. One of the requirements for the exemption that I read is that they have to notify you in writing that it is exempt from the rent limits, and it has to be specific verbiage per 1947.12
Coincidentally, my lease is due for renewal. They sent me the new lease, and, as I'm going through, it I noticed, there is a blurb with that specific verbiage and the box next to it is checked. I pulled my old lease out for comparison and it wasn't checked before.
Now, I doubt this was an accident, and I'm also pretty sure they don't meet the exemption requirements because I'm almost certain it's owned by an LLC. I don't know if they're hoping that people won't fight it so they can just scare them into leaving (and legally raise rent in the next tenant), whether it was an oversight (highly doubt) or whether I am missing something, but I'm just curious what everyone else's experience has been.
I think maybe it's time is people start forming tenant associations