honestly i'm at my wits end and my family and i are in desperate need of help. we no longer know what to do and the police only push my sister away further.
tw:mention of sa
relationship context:
me and my sister grew up like most siblings. we would share secrets, fight, use them against each other, make up, and repeat. we didn't end up getting close until i was in the 12th (16) grade and she was in 9th (15). she opened up to me about her s/a and i helped support her in telling the family, defending her to my family and helping set her up with counsellors.
she was talking to one of my ex's friends so we would all hang out sometimes as a little double date. once me and my ex got in a fight after he cheated on a girl with me and i told her, so we broke up. that weekend my ex (17 almost 18) and his friends (grade 11, so 16) brought my sister and another 9th grader to his place. they both lied to my face. i called him and he called me crazy for insulating anything and essentially gaslight me to the grave despite my sisters location saying she was there. after this incident i shared to my sister my experiences of s/a and emotional abuse from my ex and shared i wasn't comfortable with them hanging alone. privately she pretended to be very empathetic but continued to hangout with my ex for the rest of the month, to even end up dating secretly. she still denies dating and states he was into her but after reading instagram dms it's quite clear they dated and it was reciprocated. as a result of my low self esteem, daddy issues, and a plethora of mental health ones i got back together with my ex to end up being s/aed multiple times after.
tdlr ^: she got with my abuser and rapist
since then, she's never fessed up or properly apologized for getting with my abuser. during arguments she claims that i'm "mad he picked me over you" that "i deserved getting s/aed" since i got back with him, that i've committed in the past for attention and that she wishes i was to get s/aed again. this is just some of the things said and i know having a close relationship with my sister would help, but i physically can't.
since this, my sister sneaks out all of the time. she's stolen the car without her learners. invited 30+ people to the house while my mom was in another continent twice. skips school everyday, failing all her classes, smokes weed and drinks. steals money/clothes/alcohol from my mother and i. she's ran away numerous times as an excuse to sleepover at friends places, and despite seeing and hearing her mom sob for her to come back home she ignores her. she also called the cops on us saying she's afraid of the family yet also threatened to stab me.
i live across the country for school but i come down for reading weeks and currently my summer break. my poor mom who came to Canada in hopes of securing safety and liberty has received nothing but heartache and sorrow and i have no idea how to help. my mom tries to enforce consequences like taking her phone, to only have my sister lock herself in the washroom and say she was going to kill herself. my mom has told her not to go out and that she's grounded, in which case my sister just leaves as the police state she's old enough to do whatever. she's in counselling as well and was shortly put in rehab for her marijuana use which she hasn't stopped.
my mother tells me i'm the only reason she's happy as i'm in university to become a doctor but i'm only here 4 months of the year. we don't know what else to do.

This piece recounts the first time I drank an ancient plant medicine called Ayahuasca. It comes from Amazonian tribes who consider it a sacred plant medicine with healing powers and, given what a hugely beneficial impact it has had on my life, I am very comfortable describing it as medicine.
One Saturday, in the spring of 2016 I was greeted by the medicine man himself with a big hug, let’s call him Blu. I came into his kitchen to be greeted by several women with slightly comical homemade, feather headdresses and couldn’t help but think I’d walked into a kid’s birthday party. In the garden, there was a small festival tent set up which had a hay bale altar with easter decorations.
The ceremony had around 30 other participants and 10 shamans. In the middle of the tent stood the medicine man’s wife, Sun who was very much the master of the ceremony. She had the most daring headdress, flowing orange robes and a rattle in her hand. She spoke to us with warm, friendly humour telling us that we would know the medicine had kicked in once her singing started to sound good!
She advised that each experience is unique and we should try not to have huge expectations, sometimes nothing at all happens the first time. Having waited five years for this day I was quietly confident that this would not be the case for me and boy was I right!
We went around the circle introducing ourselves and explained what we were hoping to get out of the ceremony. Focusing on your intent during a psychedelic experience is meant to help you get what you are looking for.
During my turn, I expressed my desire to regain my self-confidence and passion for the opportunities and women in my life to whom I never seem to be able to fully commit.
Once we had all shared, we learned that it was time to drink.
My heart was filled with profound forbearing and excitement as I went up to receive a small glass of harsh-tasting, brown liquid which certainly tasted like medicine!
I had a basic camping mattress and a duvet laid out for me which I snuggled into before pulling on my eye mask. I was on my back trying not to think too much about the medicine, whether it was working or maybe wouldn’t work while I meditated for an hour.
The shamans started singing and shaking rattles. One of the female shamans, Nubia had an incredibly beautiful soprano voice that stood out from the others. It was while listening to the song of the shamans that I started to feel a warm flow of energy along my limbs. I tried to dismiss it at first, thinking it might somehow be related to my fasting for 40 hours prior.
When I moved my eye mask to let some light into my eyes I saw the tent roof overlaid with a flowing grid of beautiful, metallic, geometric grids with multi-coloured light flowing through the lines. The Individual elements of the grid reflected every colour of the rainbow like oil on water’s surface and I started to feel joyful, like a child rolling through leaves on a warm autumn day.
Nubia started singing to us again and it was like nothing I’d ever heard. It was so beautiful and mesmerizing I didn’t want her to stop.
I could hear the people around me, some giggling and some vomiting or, purging medicine into their buckets. I checked myself, asking if should I purge but I felt a gentle presence speak inside of me saying: ‘No, you’re fine. Just relax.’

They call this presence Mother Ayahuasca. The reason people drink the brew is to speak with and receive her guidance.

My eye mask was back on my face and I turned into the fetal position with the duvet pulled over my head I felt exceptionally comfy with this strange yet familiar presence as I started to explore the un-intimidating hallucinogenic world within my mind. She showed me complex pictures of flowing energy with multicoloured lights in perfect alignment while I was gently gliding along, watching the beautiful colourful spectacle.
It was around this time that Sun asked into the ceremony if anybody would like a second dose. I slowly sat upright and looked around. I checked myself. Truthfully, I was enjoying the experience. I was slightly nervous that having more could take me to a deeper, darker place however I had mentally prepared myself for the full immersion experience.
The presence told me: ‘It’s okay. You can handle it. I’ll be gentle.’
So I pulled on my shoes, got up and slowly walked over feeling slightly wobbly. I was worried Sun might tell me I’d had enough but when I sat in front of her, she gave me a big smile and beckoned me towards her. The second dose was about half the previous one and tasted familiar, not quite as harsh.
After I got up I walked out of the tent into the house. Sitting in the small toilet I saw the walls gently rippling with energy and recognized the phenomenon from previous psychedelic experiences. I’ve experienced mild, LSD-induced hallucinations before but nothing quite as mesmerizing as watching bright sparks of colorful energy emerging from objects and pictures.
Snuggling back under my duvet I listened to the rattles and felt myself floating deeper into the kaleidoscopic universe seeing my own body curled up but instead of my skin and flesh, I saw myself as streaming veins of energy. Millions of thin fibre optic threads pulsated with warm healing energy which outlined my body.
I felt myself lying on the floor in the jungle with mystical symbols and ineffable tribal figures around me. I felt like I was in a different, timeless dimension however I was surprisingly lucid and could snap out of it to check myself with ease. At some point I had to giggle as my boring pragmatist made the smart-ass remark, ‘You’re not lying in the jungle. You’re in a garden less than 100 meters from the Thames estuary!’
I had my eyes closed for most of the afternoon. I was seeing ever richer patterns. When I opened my eyes the patterns were still there but they were overlaid on the reality in front of my eyes. I could change them with the blink of an eye or bring back shapes I had seen previously.
I started thanking this entity for showing me all this beauty and felt the urge to reciprocate. I revealed some personal memories but they looked so very different. It seemed like they had a photo filter applied that filled the memory with golden light as they came alive with breathtaking beauty, streaming with colourful energy. I visited various life moments and it felt like entering into a photo and suddenly being there on that day!
I was there sitting in our garden at home. Once again I was a chubby baby covering my face with baked beans. I was actually there! I was picking the baked beans off my face and pushing them, one by one into my mouth.
They say that Mother Ayahuasca is a deep ancient spirit and I always imagined her as a deeply serious, majestic queen. I started wondering what she might look like… and so she appeared.
She was stern but not an old woman. Aya was young, perfectly matched to my age and exceptionally beautiful. She had long, smooth brown hair and big beautiful eyes filled with power and inspiration. As I looked closer at her exquisite face I realized that her features were constantly changing complexion. Her skin cycled from Amazonian to Latin to Nubian to Oriental and Mediterranean. She was outlined by swirling rainbow-coloured curls of light. The rest of her naked body only came into being when I directly looked at it. I realize that she was not one woman but a combination of every beautiful woman I’ve ever felt attracted to. I wanted her. She wanted me. We kissed and whirled around as we floated through my Entheoverse. My body of swirling rainbow energy flowed into her and hers into mine and this is how we made love passionately.
I had visions of us being on a summer weekend getaway in a stylish city. We lay in luxurious hotel rooms and I remember a cream-coloured clock on the wall, with Roman numerals but no hands to tell the time. I was dressed smartly as I led her by her hand into classy restaurants that had champagne poured, waiting by our table. It was like we were on a never-ending date, teleporting from one experience into the next, eloping while taking our time to enjoy each other’s energy, and passionately loving one another.
Afterwards, she lay in my arms and I asked what else she could show me and she replied; ‘What else would you like me to show you?’ I wasn’t prepared for this and my mind went a bit blank realizing that I could do anything, go anywhere in space and time I wanted.
I asked her; ‘Can you help me find my confidence?’
There was no clear answer. Instead, I had the random idea to become the temple stem of my friend Julio’s glasses. I looked at him from the bit next to the hinge and I could see him put the glasses on in the morning, and take them off at night and in the reflection of his right eye, I saw him coming home and watched his beautiful daughter jumping into his arms. Then I saw on his eyeball the reflection of me walking into the room and a felt warm glow spread through me.
Next, I visited my baby nephew sitting in my brother’s living room, in his red chair. I crossed my hands on my chest like he does and saw my brother and his wife smiling at me giving me warm hugs but more than seeing their faces while they hugged my body I could feel the way they felt when they put their arms around me and press me to their chests.
I saw all my brother’s smiles and happy faces as we jollied about, trying to make each other laugh as we do. I visited all my closest friends, took in their smiles and one by one, as I hugged each of them, I could feel their love for me.

Later I realized that Aya was indeed trying to give me confidence by showing me how much the people in my life care for me

I visited the girl I had just started dating called Anna whose raw energy I find simply irresistible. I came into her new apartment that I’d never visited before. She was standing in sexy lingerie by a floor-to-ceiling window looking down onto the busy Tottenham Court road. I remember her turning her beautiful face as I approached, touching it with ten fingers and kissing her lips passionately as we erupted into rainbow swirls of energy.
I also visited my ex-girlfriend Jo, whose body and spiritual mind I still loved but whose soul is too damaged by the fear of rejection and tough mental armour I never managed to vanquish.
She was asleep in our white room in LA that she had so carefully decorated and I spooned my energy into her little body. She woke and we cuddled and kissed and I said I was sorry it didn’t work out between us and she replied; ‘It’s ok. I wasn’t ready for you…’
I asked Aya if we had made the right decision to stop forcing it and just be friends and felt her nod wisely.
At some point, I remember all three of us lying in bed together but instead of feeling like the king of the world, I felt like a greedy pig.
One of the underlying themes of the whole journey was how slowly gently and unhurried everything felt and I think the lesson I was meant to learn was that it’s ok to not settle right now — I thought I just haven’t found the one, the right woman to share my life with…
Aya kept giving me gentle advice throughout. I asked her about the stimulants I love such as cannabis, coffee and alcohol but instead of the stern telling-off I was secretly hoping to receive she told me; ‘You know they don’t serve you when you abuse them but they are also a part of what shaped you… Take care of the beautiful body you have been given.’
She repeated many times; Take care of yourself more… take care.
I asked Aya how I could find the power to harness my mind which has always been blessed and cursed with a distracting imagination and to keep my lack of attention from killing my dreams.
Instantly, I saw an unreal version of myself.
I was standing in something like a black shiny display window, straight out of a Mercedes advert. This guy was not merely a little bit better than I am now and I realized that the version staring back at me was my best self!
That guy is sharp, he is determined, and he dresses immaculately. That guy knows exactly what he is doing. When he enters the room, people notice his presence from the invisible halo that brightly surrounds him.
I asked Aya, how I could become him and the answer became clear. That guy works. He knows exactly where his energy comes from and all of a sudden I understood — The confident image he projects comes from the love he feels for himself which makes him look loved and successful in other people’s eyes. There is no room for distraction because that guy knows his worth and knows his purpose.
She gave me such a clear image of myself. I can still see myself standing motionless in the black, shiny shop window with rainbow-coloured fibre optic strains lighting the air that gently flowed around me.
How long I lay like that is impossible to say but I guess it was around 5–6 hours but it felt like an eternity of journeying into myself.
But it wasn’t all just warm energy and neon colours. I distinctly remember at some point realizing, it was time to go to the toilet. Afterwards, I walked back into the garden and found the Ewok-faced little terrier yapping at me. I laughed at him as I noticed the blue silver and chrome energy swirls around his head and ears. I couched down to see if I could pacify him but I suddenly became aware that his barking must be interfering with other people’s experiences. I turned to hurry into the tent as one of the shamans came out, to tell off the dog saying; ‘What’s wrong doggy, he’s alright!’ As I walked into the tent there were certainly more people sitting upright than when I had left and I read some irritated expressions on people’s faces, at least three people got up and walked out.
I lay down in shame but all my friend’s energy avatars ran up to me saying ‘It’s fine!’ as they doggy piled on top of me. It made me feel better. I felt them warm the cold shame out of me and I began relaxing again. I played around as before but the energy had markedly changed, it didn’t feel as light-hearted anymore. It was heavier and more serious. I was feeling the effects of the medicine becoming even stronger so I decided to sit up but when I opened my eyes, I saw Nubia hit the deck at my feet on a hastily arranged bed after having just purged into a bucket. I could see vomit in her black wavy hair as I started to think, ‘…oh dear if even the shamans are starting to falter, I’m in trouble.’
I didn’t know what to do. I tried to lie back down again. I asked Aya to help me, as she had several times previously when I’d gotten a little bit frightened but this time I could not sense her presence and I knew why. I had to go through this for myself.
It felt like I was sitting in a shopping trolley, rolling down a steep hill toward darkness, realizing as it picked up speed and bucked to and fro that this had been a bad decision, a dangerous idea and the only way it would end would be for the momentum to collide with suffering.
I needed help so I weakly put up my hand and within a few seconds, one of the shamans sat down next to me. She was wearing a white feather dress and occoured to me like an angel. She helped me sit up and as soon as I was sitting upright I began to retch. She passed me my bucket which I gratefully barfed into…
After I purged I felt better. My angel asked me if I felt okay again and I asked her to stay with me and hold my hand for a while longer, which she did. I gently leaned over and rested my head on her feathery bosom and felt a sense of peace and strength flow back into me. I saw my energy self, the swirling electrons of light curling my limbs as I sat cross-legged, hunched over like a bear cub being cradled by his mother bear.
She helped me lie back down and I started to return to my technicoloured dream state. I asked Aya if we could make love again and she said ‘Of course’ but it felt different, when I opened my inner eye to see the face of the person I was entangled with I saw my own. Aya had taken on my form and this might well be the strangest thing I’ve ever written but I was exceptionally attracted to myself and I realized that this could be how girls who are in bed with me see me. I could feel the burning desire a girl feels when we make love. It felt strange but also good.

They said Ayahuasca show you not what you want to see but rather what you need to see at any specific point in your life.

I visited countless friends, some people no longer in my life becouse we have grown apart and even those whose who have passed away. I visited my German grandparents and told them how much I loved them.
While I cuddled Oskar, the dog I grew up with, and played with him in our garden I looked up to see my dad approach us with tears in his eyes. I knew what he was going to say. When he told me that my grandmother had died I didn’t run away in confusion as I had on that day, instead, I went to hug my mom and for the first time, I empathized with the pain she had felt in that moment of hearing that her mother had passed.
I visited my friend Keith whose passing I have always felt a slight responsibility for since I know he read my travel blog and went to Costa Rica a month after I’d been there where he swam out to sea and drowned. I hugged him tightly and cried gently but he grabbed me firmly by the shoulders and said; ‘It wasn’t you! It wasn’t you…’
I visited my old school friend Alex who I had not been close to but whose misfortune to be on flight 447 still touched me. I told him and his beautiful fiance whom I’d never met that I was so sorry for them having been so frightened when they died but instead of me comforting them, they hugged and comforted me as I lay there silently crying for the people I missed. But it was not painful. Quite the opposite, it felt cathartic, like I was letting out the pain and healing myself.
At some point, while it was still light out Sun said “OK, I know that some of you are still on your journey but we will start having some food soon so if you want to share what you experienced now is the time.” I listened to some of the reports.
Several people said that they had a very rough ride because they had tried to fight it. One girl even said she was convinced she was dying. I felt very lucky and grateful for my gentle, warm ride through my multi-coloured Enthenoverse and wondered if I would ever return…
When it was my turn I said that I had finally been able to see how my friends and family see me and why they think I am awesome which will give me the confidence to finally believe that I am awesome (that got a laugh :). I also shared my new appreciation for how profoundly beautiful my life has been up until now and hoped that it will give me the strength to stop comparing myself to others, to focus on my own path and become my best self.

10 weeks later

My life has undeniably changed over the last 10 weeks.
The following day I drove back to my rented shepherd’s hut in a nature reserve and had an exceptionally rich experience walking through the marshes. The sun was shining and everything seemed so intensely beautiful. I was moved just by watching something as simple as a male and a female bird fly across the water in perfect sync. It made me well up emotionally.
I’ve cried a lot recently and I believe it’s a good thing. I cry on most days.
Usually, it happens when I see someone doing something kind and for a brief moment I get overwhelmed and shed a tear. But again, they are not tears of pain they are usually tears of joy and I feel like I have become much more in touch with my emotions.
It feels like bringing Aya’s female spirit into my awareness has tripped a switch in my brain making me more feminine, hence a more complete human being. I’ve also started to care more about my appearance. My mum commented recently that I looked different and she is right. I’ve been working out more. I get my hair cut more frequently and I’ve even gone and bought new clothes that dress me with more style, even when it’s not particularly necessary.
My work attitude has also changed. I find myself a lot more productive and capable of operating at a higher level while enjoying the entire experience so much more!
I honestly feel more in control of my life. I feel focused on who I am, who I can become and what I can achieve. Previously my decisions in life seemed more vague and fuzzy.
Above all, I feel the happiest that I have felt since childhood. The last 10 weeks have been almost like a too-good-to-be-true dream for me.
I’m also positively influencing the people around me. My grandfather wrote me the following sentence after my most recent visit.
You have this mysterious gift of raising the spirits of people both just by being there and by your gift of empathy.

Epilogue

I have indeed had more Ayahuasca ceremonies since I first wrote this and even though there was a 4 year gap between my 4th and my 5th experience I have felt the effect compound over time. I will be publishing more of my trip reports over on medium and would appreciate your supporting me by following me over there where I also publish contant whihc is not just psychedilic in nature. https://medium.com/@hi_niels

COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum - Reposting

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Reposting this, long read but relevant for the coming deluge of 💩
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1. COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum
2. Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
3. Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
4. How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
5. Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

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COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum..
There are several techniques for the control and manipulation of a internet forum no matter what, or who is on it. We will go over each technique and demonstrate that only a minimal number of operatives can be used to eventually and effectively gain a control of a 'uncontrolled forum.'
Technique #1 - 'FORUM SLIDING'
If a very sensitive posting of a critical nature has been posted on a forum - it can be quickly removed from public view by 'forum sliding.' In this technique a number of unrelated posts are quietly prepositioned on the forum and allowed to 'age.' Each of these misdirectional forum postings can then be called upon at will to trigger a 'forum slide.' The second requirement is that several fake accounts exist, which can be called upon, to ensure that this technique is not exposed to the public. To trigger a 'forum slide' and 'flush' the critical post out of public view it is simply a matter of logging into each account both real and fake and then 'replying' to prepositined postings with a simple 1 or 2 line comment. This brings the unrelated postings to the top of the forum list, and the critical posting 'slides' down the front page, and quickly out of public view. Although it is difficult or impossible to censor the posting it is now lost in a sea of unrelated and unuseful postings. By this means it becomes effective to keep the readers of the forum reading unrelated and non-issue items.
Technique #2 - 'CONSENSUS CRACKING'
A second highly effective technique (which you can see in operation all the time at www.abovetopsecret.com) is 'consensus cracking.' To develop a consensus crack, the following technique is used. Under the guise of a fake account a posting is made which looks legitimate and is towards the truth is made - but the critical point is that it has a VERY WEAK PREMISE without substantive proof to back the posting. Once this is done then under alternative fake accounts a very strong position in your favour is slowly introduced over the life of the posting. It is IMPERATIVE that both sides are initially presented, so the uninformed reader cannot determine which side is the truth. As postings and replies are made the stronger 'evidence' or disinformation in your favour is slowly 'seeded in.' Thus the uninformed reader will most like develop the same position as you, and if their position is against you their opposition to your posting will be most likely dropped. However in some cases where the forum members are highly educated and can counter your disinformation with real facts and linked postings, you can then 'abort' the consensus cracking by initiating a 'forum slide.'
Technique #3 - 'TOPIC DILUTION'
Topic dilution is not only effective in forum sliding it is also very useful in keeping the forum readers on unrelated and non-productive issues. This is a critical and useful technique to cause a 'RESOURCE BURN.' By implementing continual and non-related postings that distract and disrupt (trolling ) the forum readers they are more effectively stopped from anything of any real productivity. If the intensity of gradual dilution is intense enough, the readers will effectively stop researching and simply slip into a 'gossip mode.' In this state they can be more easily misdirected away from facts towards uninformed conjecture and opinion. The less informed they are the more effective and easy it becomes to control the entire group in the direction that you would desire the group to go in. It must be stressed that a proper assessment of the psychological capabilities and levels of education is first determined of the group to determine at what level to 'drive in the wedge.' By being too far off topic too quickly it may trigger censorship by a forum moderator.
Technique #4 - 'INFORMATION COLLECTION'
Information collection is also a very effective method to determine the psychological level of the forum members, and to gather intelligence that can be used against them. In this technique in a light and positive environment a 'show you mine so me yours' posting is initiated. From the number of replies and the answers that are provided much statistical information can be gathered. An example is to post your 'favourite weapon' and then encourage other members of the forum to showcase what they have. In this matter it can be determined by reverse proration what percentage of the forum community owns a firearm, and or a illegal weapon. This same method can be used by posing as one of the form members and posting your favourite 'technique of operation.' From the replies various methods that the group utilizes can be studied and effective methods developed to stop them from their activities.
Technique #5 - 'ANGER TROLLING'
Statistically, there is always a percentage of the forum posters who are more inclined to violence. In order to determine who these individuals are, it is a requirement to present a image to the forum to deliberately incite a strong psychological reaction. From this the most violent in the group can be effectively singled out for reverse IP location and possibly local enforcement tracking. To accomplish this only requires posting a link to a video depicting a local police officer massively abusing his power against a very innocent individual. Statistically of the million or so police officers in America there is always one or two being caught abusing there powers and the taping of the activity can be then used for intelligence gathering purposes - without the requirement to 'stage' a fake abuse video. This method is extremely effective, and the more so the more abusive the video can be made to look. Sometimes it is useful to 'lead' the forum by replying to your own posting with your own statement of violent intent, and that you 'do not care what the authorities think!!' inflammation. By doing this and showing no fear it may be more effective in getting the more silent and self-disciplined violent intent members of the forum to slip and post their real intentions. This can be used later in a court of law during prosecution.
Technique #6 - 'GAINING FULL CONTROL'
It is important to also be harvesting and continually maneuvering for a forum moderator position. Once this position is obtained, the forum can then be effectively and quietly controlled by deleting unfavourable postings - and one can eventually steer the forum into complete failure and lack of interest by the general public. This is the 'ultimate victory' as the forum is no longer participated with by the general public and no longer useful in maintaining their freedoms. Depending on the level of control you can obtain, you can deliberately steer a forum into defeat by censoring postings, deleting memberships, flooding, and or accidentally taking the forum offline. By this method the forum can be quickly killed. However it is not always in the interest to kill a forum as it can be converted into a 'honey pot' gathering center to collect and misdirect newcomers and from this point be completely used for your control for your agenda purposes.
CONCLUSION
Remember these techniques are only effective if the forum participants DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THEM. Once they are aware of these techniques the operation can completely fail, and the forum can become uncontrolled. At this point other avenues must be considered such as initiating a false legal precidence to simply have the forum shut down and taken offline. This is not desirable as it then leaves the enforcement agencies unable to track the percentage of those in the population who always resist attempts for control against them. Many other techniques can be utilized and developed by the individual and as you develop further techniques of infiltration and control it is imperative to share then with HQ.
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Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
Note: The first rule and last five (or six, depending on situation) rules are generally not directly within the ability of the traditional disinfo artist to apply. These rules are generally used more directly by those at the leadership, key players, or planning level of the criminal conspiracy or conspiracy to cover up.
1. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Regardless of what you know, don't discuss it -- especially if you are a public figure, news anchor, etc. If it's not reported, it didn't happen, and you never have to deal with the issues.
2. Become incredulous and indignant. Avoid discussing key issues and instead focus on side issues which can be used show the topic as being critical of some otherwise sacrosanct group or theme. This is also known as the 'How dare you!' gambit.
3. Create rumor mongers. Avoid discussing issues by describing all charges, regardless of venue or evidence, as mere rumors and wild accusations. Other derogatory terms mutually exclusive of truth may work as well. This method which works especially well with a silent press, because the only way the public can learn of the facts are through such 'arguable rumors'. If you can associate the material with the Internet, use this fact to certify it a 'wild rumor' from a 'bunch of kids on the Internet' which can have no basis in fact.
4. Use a straw man. Find or create a seeming element of your opponent's argument which you can easily knock down to make yourself look good and the opponent to look bad. Either make up an issue you may safely imply exists based on your interpretation of the opponent/opponent arguments/situation, or select the weakest aspect of the weakest charges. Amplify their significance and destroy them in a way which appears to debunk all the charges, real and fabricated alike, while actually avoiding discussion of the real issues.
5. Sidetrack opponents with name calling and ridicule. This is also known as the primary 'attack the messenger' ploy, though other methods qualify as variants of that approach. Associate opponents with unpopular titles such as 'kooks', 'right-wing', 'liberal', 'left-wing', 'terrorists', 'conspiracy buffs', 'radicals', 'militia', 'racists', 'religious fanatics', 'sexual deviates', and so forth. This makes others shrink from support out of fear of gaining the same label, and you avoid dealing with issues.
6. Hit and Run. In any public forum, make a brief attack of your opponent or the opponent position and then scamper off before an answer can be fielded, or simply ignore any answer. This works extremely well in Internet and letters-to-the-editor environments where a steady stream of new identities can be called upon without having to explain criticism, reasoning -- simply make an accusation or other attack, never discussing issues, and never answering any subsequent response, for that would dignify the opponent's viewpoint.
7. Question motives. Twist or amplify any fact which could be taken to imply that the opponent operates out of a hidden personal agenda or other bias. This avoids discussing issues and forces the accuser on the defensive.
8. Invoke authority. Claim for yourself or associate yourself with authority and present your argument with enough 'jargon' and 'minutia' to illustrate you are 'one who knows', and simply say it isn't so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or citing sources.
9. Play Dumb. No matter what evidence or logical argument is offered, avoid discussing issues except with denials they have any credibility, make any sense, provide any proof, contain or make a point, have logic, or support a conclusion. Mix well for maximum effect.
10. Associate opponent charges with old news. A derivative of the straw man -- usually, in any large-scale matter of high visibility, someone will make charges early on which can be or were already easily dealt with - a kind of investment for the future should the matter not be so easily contained.) Where it can be foreseen, have your own side raise a straw man issue and have it dealt with early on as part of the initial contingency plans. Subsequent charges, regardless of validity or new ground uncovered, can usually then be associated with the original charge and dismissed as simply being a rehash without need to address current issues -- so much the better where the opponent is or was involved with the original source.
11. Establish and rely upon fall-back positions. Using a minor matter or element of the facts, take the 'high road' and 'confess' with candor that some innocent mistake, in hindsight, was made -- but that opponents have seized on the opportunity to blow it all out of proportion and imply greater criminalities which, 'just isn't so.' Others can reinforce this on your behalf, later, and even publicly 'call for an end to the nonsense' because you have already 'done the right thing.' Done properly, this can garner sympathy and respect for 'coming clean' and 'owning up' to your mistakes without addressing more serious issues.
12. Enigmas have no solution. Drawing upon the overall umbrella of events surrounding the crime and the multitude of players and events, paint the entire affair as too complex to solve. This causes those otherwise following the matter to begin to lose interest more quickly without having to address the actual issues.
13. Alice in Wonderland Logic. Avoid discussion of the issues by reasoning backwards or with an apparent deductive logic which forbears any actual material fact.
14. Demand complete solutions. Avoid the issues by requiring opponents to solve the crime at hand completely, a ploy which works best with issues qualifying for rule 10.
15. Fit the facts to alternate conclusions. This requires creative thinking unless the crime was planned with contingency conclusions in place.
16. Vanish evidence and witnesses. If it does not exist, it is not fact, and you won't have to address the issue.
17. Change the subject. Usually in connection with one of the other ploys listed here, find a way to side-track the discussion with abrasive or controversial comments in hopes of turning attention to a new, more manageable topic. This works especially well with companions who can 'argue' with you over the new topic and polarize the discussion arena in order to avoid discussing more key issues.
18. Emotionalize, Antagonize, and Goad Opponents. If you can't do anything else, chide and taunt your opponents and draw them into emotional responses which will tend to make them look foolish and overly motivated, and generally render their material somewhat less coherent. Not only will you avoid discussing the issues in the first instance, but even if their emotional response addresses the issue, you can further avoid the issues by then focusing on how 'sensitive they are to criticism.'
19. Ignore proof presented, demand impossible proofs. This is perhaps a variant of the 'play dumb' rule. Regardless of what material may be presented by an opponent in public forums, claim the material irrelevant and demand proof that is impossible for the opponent to come by (it may exist, but not be at his disposal, or it may be something which is known to be safely destroyed or withheld, such as a murder weapon.) In order to completely avoid discussing issues, it may be required that you to categorically deny and be critical of media or books as valid sources, deny that witnesses are acceptable, or even deny that statements made by government or other authorities have any meaning or relevance.
20. False evidence. Whenever possible, introduce new facts or clues designed and manufactured to conflict with opponent presentations -- as useful tools to neutralize sensitive issues or impede resolution. This works best when the crime was designed with contingencies for the purpose, and the facts cannot be easily separated from the fabrications.
21. Call a Grand Jury, Special Prosecutor, or other empowered investigative body. Subvert the (process) to your benefit and effectively neutralize all sensitive issues without open discussion. Once convened, the evidence and testimony are required to be secret when properly handled. For instance, if you own the prosecuting attorney, it can insure a Grand Jury hears no useful evidence and that the evidence is sealed and unavailable to subsequent investigators. Once a favorable verdict is achieved, the matter can be considered officially closed. Usually, this technique is applied to find the guilty innocent, but it can also be used to obtain charges when seeking to frame a victim.
22. Manufacture a new truth. Create your own expert(s), group(s), author(s), leader(s) or influence existing ones willing to forge new ground via scientific, investigative, or social research or testimony which concludes favorably. In this way, if you must actually address issues, you can do so authoritatively.
23. Create bigger distractions. If the above does not seem to be working to distract from sensitive issues, or to prevent unwanted media coverage of unstoppable events such as trials, create bigger news stories (or treat them as such) to distract the multitudes.
24. Silence critics. If the above methods do not prevail, consider removing opponents from circulation by some definitive solution so that the need to address issues is removed entirely. This can be by their death, arrest and detention, blackmail or destruction of their character by release of blackmail information, or merely by destroying them financially, emotionally, or severely damaging their health.
25. Vanish. If you are a key holder of secrets or otherwise overly illuminated and you think the heat is getting too hot, to avoid the issues, vacate the kitchen.
_______________________________________________________________________
Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
1) Avoidance. They never actually discuss issues head-on or provide constructive input, generally avoiding citation of references or credentials. Rather, they merely imply this, that, and the other. Virtually everything about their presentation implies their authority and expert knowledge in the matter without any further justification for credibility.
2) Selectivity. They tend to pick and choose opponents carefully, either applying the hit-and-run approach against mere commentators supportive of opponents, or focusing heavier attacks on key opponents who are known to directly address issues. Should a commentator become argumentative with any success, the focus will shift to include the commentator as well.
3) Coincidental. They tend to surface suddenly and somewhat coincidentally with a new controversial topic with no clear prior record of participation in general discussions in the particular public arena involved. They likewise tend to vanish once the topic is no longer of general concern. They were likely directed or elected to be there for a reason, and vanish with the reason.
4) Teamwork. They tend to operate in self-congratulatory and complementary packs or teams. Of course, this can happen naturally in any public forum, but there will likely be an ongoing pattern of frequent exchanges of this sort where professionals are involved. Sometimes one of the players will infiltrate the opponent camp to become a source for straw man or other tactics designed to dilute opponent presentation strength.
5) Anti-conspiratorial. They almost always have disdain for 'conspiracy theorists' and, usually, for those who in any way believe JFK was not killed by LHO. Ask yourself why, if they hold such disdain for conspiracy theorists, do they focus on defending a single topic discussed in a NG focusing on conspiracies? One might think they would either be trying to make fools of everyone on every topic, or simply ignore the group they hold in such disdain.Or, one might more rightly conclude they have an ulterior motive for their actions in going out of their way to focus as they do.
6) Artificial Emotions. An odd kind of 'artificial' emotionalism and an unusually thick skin -- an ability to persevere and persist even in the face of overwhelming criticism and unacceptance. This likely stems from intelligence community training that, no matter how condemning the evidence, deny everything, and never become emotionally involved or reactive. The net result for a disinfo artist is that emotions can seem artificial.
Most people, if responding in anger, for instance, will express their animosity throughout their rebuttal. But disinfo types usually have trouble maintaining the 'image' and are hot and cold with respect to pretended emotions and their usually more calm or unemotional communications style. It's just a job, and they often seem unable to 'act their role in character' as well in a communications medium as they might be able in a real face-to-face conversation/confrontation. You might have outright rage and indignation one moment, ho-hum the next, and more anger later -- an emotional yo-yo.
With respect to being thick-skinned, no amount of criticism will deter them from doing their job, and they will generally continue their old disinfo patterns without any adjustments to criticisms of how obvious it is that they play that game -- where a more rational individual who truly cares what others think might seek to improve their communications style, substance, and so forth, or simply give up.
7) Inconsistent. There is also a tendency to make mistakes which betray their true self/motives. This may stem from not really knowing their topic, or it may be somewhat 'freudian', so to speak, in that perhaps they really root for the side of truth deep within.
I have noted that often, they will simply cite contradictory information which neutralizes itself and the author. For instance, one such player claimed to be a Navy pilot, but blamed his poor communicating skills (spelling, grammar, incoherent style) on having only a grade-school education. I'm not aware of too many Navy pilots who don't have a college degree. Another claimed no knowledge of a particular topic/situation but later claimed first-hand knowledge of it.
8) Time Constant. Recently discovered, with respect to News Groups, is the response time factor. There are three ways this can be seen to work, especially when the government or other empowered player is involved in a cover up operation:
a) ANY NG posting by a targeted proponent for truth can result in an IMMEDIATE response. The government and other empowered players can afford to pay people to sit there and watch for an opportunity to do some damage. SINCE DISINFO IN A NG ONLY WORKS IF THE READER SEES IT - FAST RESPONSE IS CALLED FOR, or the visitor may be swayed towards truth.
b) When dealing in more direct ways with a disinformationalist, such as email, DELAY IS CALLED FOR - there will usually be a minimum of a 48-72 hour delay. This allows a sit-down team discussion on response strategy for best effect, and even enough time to 'get permission' or instruction from a formal chain of command.
c) In the NG example 1) above, it will often ALSO be seen that bigger guns are drawn and fired after the same 48-72 hours delay - the team approach in play. This is especially true when the targeted truth seeker or their comments are considered more important with respect to potential to reveal truth. Thus, a serious truth sayer will be attacked twice for the same sin.
_______________________________________________________________________
How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
One way to neutralize a potential activist is to get them to be in a group that does all the wrong things. Why?
1) The message doesn't get out.
2) A lot of time is wasted
3) The activist is frustrated and discouraged
4) Nothing good is accomplished.
FBI and Police Informers and Infiltrators will infest any group and they have phoney activist organizations established.
Their purpose is to prevent any real movement for justice or eco-peace from developing in this country.
Agents come in small, medium or large. They can be of any ethnic background. They can be male or female.
The actual size of the group or movement being infiltrated is irrelevant. It is the potential the movement has for becoming large which brings on the spies and saboteurs.
This booklet lists tactics agents use to slow things down, foul things up, destroy the movement and keep tabs on activists.
It is the agent's job to keep the activist from quitting such a group, thus keeping him/her under control.
In some situations, to get control, the agent will tell the activist:

• "You're dividing the movement."

[Here, I have added the psychological reasons as to WHY this maneuver works to control people]
This invites guilty feelings. Many people can be controlled by guilt. The agents begin relationships with activists behind a well-developed mask of "dedication to the cause." Because of their often declared dedication, (and actions designed to prove this), when they criticize the activist, he or she - being truly dedicated to the movement - becomes convinced that somehow, any issues are THEIR fault. This is because a truly dedicated person tends to believe that everyone has a conscience and that nobody would dissimulate and lie like that "on purpose." It's amazing how far agents can go in manipulating an activist because the activist will constantly make excuses for the agent who regularly declares their dedication to the cause. Even if they do, occasionally, suspect the agent, they will pull the wool over their own eyes by rationalizing: "they did that unconsciously... they didn't really mean it... I can help them by being forgiving and accepting " and so on and so forth.
The agent will tell the activist:

• "You're a leader!"

This is designed to enhance the activist's self-esteem. His or her narcissistic admiration of his/her own activist/altruistic intentions increase as he or she identifies with and consciously admires the altruistic declarations of the agent which are deliberately set up to mirror those of the activist.
This is "malignant pseudoidentification." It is the process by which the agent consciously imitates or simulates a certain behavior to foster the activist's identification with him/her, thus increasing the activist's vulnerability to exploitation. The agent will simulate the more subtle self-concepts of the activist.
Activists and those who have altruistic self-concepts are most vulnerable to malignant pseudoidentification especially during work with the agent when the interaction includes matter relating to their competency, autonomy, or knowledge.
The goal of the agent is to increase the activist's general empathy for the agent through pseudo-identification with the activist's self-concepts.
The most common example of this is the agent who will compliment the activist for his competency or knowledge or value to the movement. On a more subtle level, the agent will simulate affects and mannerisms of the activist which promotes identification via mirroring and feelings of "twinship". It is not unheard of for activists, enamored by the perceived helpfulness and competence of a good agent, to find themselves considering ethical violations and perhaps, even illegal behavior, in the service of their agent/handler.
The activist's "felt quality of perfection" [self-concept] is enhanced, and a strong empathic bond is developed with the agent through his/her imitation and simulation of the victim's own narcissistic investments. [self-concepts] That is, if the activist knows, deep inside, their own dedication to the cause, they will project that onto the agent who is "mirroring" them.
The activist will be deluded into thinking that the agent shares this feeling of identification and bonding. In an activist/social movement setting, the adversarial roles that activists naturally play vis a vis the establishment/government, fosters ongoing processes of intrapsychic splitting so that "twinship alliances" between activist and agent may render whole sectors or reality testing unavailable to the activist. They literally "lose touch with reality."
Activists who deny their own narcissistic investments [do not have a good idea of their own self-concepts and that they ARE concepts] and consciously perceive themselves (accurately, as it were) to be "helpers" endowed with a special amount of altruism are exceedingly vulnerable to the affective (emotional) simulation of the accomplished agent.
Empathy is fostered in the activist through the expression of quite visible affects. The presentation of tearfulness, sadness, longing, fear, remorse, and guilt, may induce in the helper-oriented activist a strong sense of compassion, while unconsciously enhancing the activist's narcissistic investment in self as the embodiment of goodness.
The agent's expresssion of such simulated affects may be quite compelling to the observer and difficult to distinguish from deep emotion.
It can usually be identified by two events, however:
First, the activist who has analyzed his/her own narcissistic roots and is aware of his/her own potential for being "emotionally hooked," will be able to remain cool and unaffected by such emotional outpourings by the agent.
As a result of this unaffected, cool, attitude, the Second event will occur: The agent will recompensate much too quickly following such an affective expression leaving the activist with the impression that "the play has ended, the curtain has fallen," and the imposture, for the moment, has finished. The agent will then move quickly to another activist/victim.
The fact is, the movement doesn't need leaders, it needs MOVERS. "Follow the leader" is a waste of time.
A good agent will want to meet as often as possible. He or she will talk a lot and say little. One can expect an onslaught of long, unresolved discussions.
Some agents take on a pushy, arrogant, or defensive manner:
1) To disrupt the agenda
2) To side-track the discussion
3) To interrupt repeatedly
4) To feign ignorance
5) To make an unfounded accusation against a person.
Calling someone a racist, for example. This tactic is used to discredit a person in the eyes of all other group members.
Saboteurs
Some saboteurs pretend to be activists. She or he will ....
1) Write encyclopedic flyers (in the present day, websites)
2) Print flyers in English only.
3) Have demonstrations in places where no one cares.
4) Solicit funding from rich people instead of grass roots support
5) Display banners with too many words that are confusing.
6) Confuse issues.
7) Make the wrong demands.
8) Compromise the goal.
9) Have endless discussions that waste everyone's time. The agent may accompany the endless discussions with drinking, pot smoking or other amusement to slow down the activist's work.
Provocateurs
1) Want to establish "leaders" to set them up for a fall in order to stop the movement.
2) Suggest doing foolish, illegal things to get the activists in trouble.
3) Encourage militancy.
4) Want to taunt the authorities.
5) Attempt to make the activist compromise their values.
6) Attempt to instigate violence. Activisim ought to always be non-violent.
7) Attempt to provoke revolt among people who are ill-prepared to deal with the reaction of the authorities to such violence.
Informants
1) Want everyone to sign up and sing in and sign everything.
2) Ask a lot of questions (gathering data).
3) Want to know what events the activist is planning to attend.
4) Attempt to make the activist defend him or herself to identify his or her beliefs, goals, and level of committment.
Recruiting
Legitimate activists do not subject people to hours of persuasive dialog. Their actions, beliefs, and goals speak for themselves.
Groups that DO recruit are missionaries, military, and fake political parties or movements set up by agents.
Surveillance
ALWAYS assume that you are under surveillance.
At this point, if you are NOT under surveillance, you are not a very good activist!
Scare Tactics
They use them.
Such tactics include slander, defamation, threats, getting close to disaffected or minimally committed fellow activists to persuade them (via psychological tactics described above) to turn against the movement and give false testimony against their former compatriots. They will plant illegal substances on the activist and set up an arrest; they will plant false information and set up "exposure," they will send incriminating letters [emails] in the name of the activist; and more; they will do whatever society will allow.
This booklet in no way covers all the ways agents use to sabotage the lives of sincere an dedicated activists.
If an agent is "exposed," he or she will be transferred or replaced.
COINTELPRO is still in operation today under a different code name. It is no longer placed on paper where it can be discovered through the freedom of information act.
The FBI counterintelligence program's stated purpose: To expose, disrupt, misdirect, discredit, and otherwise neutralize individuals who the FBI categorize as opposed to the National Interests. "National Security" means the FBI's security from the people ever finding out the vicious things it does in violation of people's civil liberties.
_______________________________________________________________________
Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression
Strong, credible allegations of high-level criminal activity can bring down a government. When the government lacks an effective, fact-based defense, other techniques must be employed. The success of these techniques depends heavily upon a cooperative, compliant press and a mere token opposition party.
1. Dummy up. If it's not reported, if it's not news, it didn't happen.
2. Wax indignant. This is also known as the "How dare you?" gambit.
3. Characterize the charges as "rumors" or, better yet, "wild rumors." If, in spite of the news blackout, the public is still able to learn about the suspicious facts, it can only be through "rumors." (If they tend to believe the "rumors" it must be because they are simply "paranoid" or "hysterical.")
4. Knock down straw men. Deal only with the weakest aspects of the weakest charges. Even better, create your own straw men. Make up wild rumors (or plant false stories) and give them lead play when you appear to debunk all the charges, real and fanciful alike.
5. Call the skeptics names like "conspiracy theorist," "nutcase," "ranter," "kook," "crackpot," and, of course, "rumor monger." Be sure, too, to use heavily loaded verbs and adjectives when characterizing their charges and defending the "more reasonable" government and its defenders. You must then carefully avoid fair and open debate with any of the people you have thus maligned. For insurance, set up your own "skeptics" to shoot down.
6. Impugn motives. Attempt to marginalize the critics by suggesting strongly that they are not really interested in the truth but are simply pursuing a partisan political agenda or are out to make money (compared to over-compensated adherents to the government line who, presumably, are not).
7. Invoke authority. Here the controlled press and the sham opposition can be very useful.
8. Dismiss the charges as "old news."
9. Come half-clean. This is also known as "confession and avoidance" or "taking the limited hangout route." This way, you create the impression of candor and honesty while you admit only to relatively harmless, less-than-criminal "mistakes." This stratagem often requires the embrace of a fall-back position quite different from the one originally taken. With effective damage control, the fall-back position need only be peddled by stooge skeptics to carefully limited markets.
10. Characterize the crimes as impossibly complex and the truth as ultimately unknowable.
11. Reason backward, using the deductive method with a vengeance. With thoroughly rigorous deduction, troublesome evidence is irrelevant. E.g. We have a completely free press. If evidence exists that the Vince Foster "suicide" note was forged, they would have reported it. They haven't reported it so there is no such evidence. Another variation on this theme involves the likelihood of a conspiracy leaker and a press who would report the leak.
12. Require the skeptics to solve the crime completely. E.g. If Foster was murdered, who did it and why?
13. Change the subject. This technique includes creating and/or publicizing distractions.
14. Lightly report incriminating facts, and then make nothing of them. This is sometimes referred to as "bump and run" reporting.
15. Baldly and brazenly lie. A favorite way of doing this is to attribute the "facts" furnished the public to a plausible-sounding, but anonymous, source.
16. Expanding further on numbers 4 and 5, have your own stooges "expose" scandals and champion popular causes. Their job is to pre-empt real opponents and to play 99-yard football. A variation is to pay rich people for the job who will pretend to spend their own money.
17. Flood the Internet with agents. This is the answer to the question, "What could possibly motivate a person to spend hour upon hour on Internet news groups defending the government and/or the press and harassing genuine critics?" Don t the authorities have defenders enough in all the newspapers, magazines, radio, and television? One would think refusing to print critical letters and screening out serious callers or dumping them from radio talk shows would be control enough, but, obviously, it is not.

I’m running a campaign in a “London by Gaslamp” type setting in which all the player characters are Tieflings with different racial origins. Aka “Oops! All Tieflings.”
There are two storylines going on: one is a court intrigue involving a secret society called The Clockwork Hearts, and the other is an escalating invasion of a series of fiends each representing the Seven Deadly Sins, and each more dangerous than the last.
Around the city, they have become known as “The Coins”, and they have become a sort of local minor celebrity/Jr. Detective squad/demonology team, that has a reputation for being aligned chaotic funbold.
Over the last few months, they have started to make a point to feed the stray cats and dogs around the city, and they have started building a street team of urchins and petty criminals, upon whom they’ve spent lavishly on bribes and little gifts. They’ve taken to calling their little network “spare change”.
It’s hell for me to keep it all straight and maintain the growing list of NPCs, but it’s so much fun to see it all come together.
Tonight at the end of the session they decided that they’re starting an orphanage and they’re going to call it “Small Change”.
Next week we will be celebrating our ninth year of playing together. I’m so lucky to have players that are invested in the setting and being creative with their own story. I love a good roll-dice-kill-monsters session, but we’ve had some of our best sessions with zero combat at all, just them doing their own things. It gives me so many more options to advance the plot, and it makes them so much more invested in what we’ve created together.
For all the horror stories about players and DMs, just know that it’s possible to have a great group without toxicity, that is truly about getting together and using papers, pencils, and dice to collectively tell the most epic tale of all time… and I hope you can have that, too.

Lyrics in songs I've noticed.
Red Velvet

• Queendom

Oh hey! In the same dream
It kept calling us
Wonderland beyond distant memories
...........
Cntd
We we we strong, nothing missing
Wake up, the answer is Simple
Be Boss, blow the Whistle
The bigger world is noticing you.
Shall we have a festival? I hold your hand.
We've been waiting for this moment. Spread your wings and be yourself.
Come play at My carnival.
Climax? It starts now.
Watch out! We are making the rules.
......
It’s now or never, we got forever.
Sappy
;
You're sobbing and being pessimistic
You're hesitating again, you can't choose
Writing poems in your note, your hobby is sentimental
Look, now it's time to open the door
........
Tell me, which do you love?
It's not bad thing to dream
It's not a fairytale, it's the real world
What are you gonna do? Which one are you
gonna pick?
Reality or fantasy, adolescent boy?
I'm still clearing dating simulation games
using the manual
I'm still a long way from real love
.......
It's not that I don't like it
Escape from being just two-dimensional
Which one do you love?
Tonight let me know your true feelings
You'll really grow up then
Tell me, which one do you love?
(In the video the lyrics are "Logging out from delusion" for a part of it.)
That's not even getting into the imagery in the video.
Feel My Rhythm
Blowing up this fancy ball
We're back, cute chaotic delight
This is gonna be a crazy night
Epic appearance to stunning greetings
Let's have a little fun
Don't be shy, Bae bae
Let the play start
(Birds and wings everywhere in the video. Irene is shown offering strawberries to a gigantic statue of some sort which then falls towards her. Joy is seen standing in front of some type of being with wings, I can't tell what it would be though. Maybe o- I Cant tell, she's, yeah she's blocking the shot)
Imagine anything
Now cruising into a weird, new dimension
A place I've never imagined appears unexpectedly
Don't miss this moment, baby.
Don't confine yourself to yesterday or tomorrow.
I'm truly free right now.
Come ride with me (Sway)
Let's go anywhere (Way)
I want to mess all the boundaries
In this world (Oh yeah)
When the world stops What a what a feeling Come take my hand (All right) A brand new Film We falling deep, You and I Next time, spin the clock Where should we go? Come on, let's start again You and I
Everglow
You used to be afraid of the dark night (ah yeah yeah) Hiding without anyone else knowing (ah yeah yeah) No one say happy ending You stayed silent and ran away (Here we go Here we go like)...
Knock Knock There’s a monster It’s growing larger, the black hole inside of you When you back uh? The howler has swallowed you, that’s the killer Don’t be afraid, hold my hand Your past is making you scared But know your power For the final time, be first You know that I come first I’m the winner winner winner Yes, it’s the last melody To save save save you (so don’t keep) Don’t be deceived by the lie That there is no light in this world Together we will Dream a dream that’s never been seen before Dream a dream that’s never been seen before (Ya) It’s ok if you fall (stand up) It’s you (hands up) Faster Stronger Better Gotta be the best Between night and day, around 5:30AM A war without loyalty will suffocate you, this is a foul Lies, darkness, truth, ecstasy, fantasy My candle makes you explode like a fireworks of melodies in the dawn Don’t be afraid, hold my hand Your past is making you scared But know your power For the final time, be first You know that I come first I’m the winner winner winner Yes, it’s the last melody To save save save you (so don’t keep) Don’t be deceived by the lie That there is no light in this world Together we will Dream a dream that’s never been seen before I’m breaking down the walls, crossing the lines I won’t shrivel up, I’ll jump over one step You got me now got me now two step Don’t slow it down slow it down Shout towards the sky that comes to you Hold onto the key of hope...
Bon bon chocolate

go up to the sky

.
Avenged Sevenfold
Hate to twist your mind, but God ain't on your side
Flesh is burning, you can smell it in the air 'Cause men like you have such an easy soul to steal (steal) So stand in line while they ink numbers in your head You're now a slave until the end of time here Nothing stops the madness turning Haunting, yearning, pull the trigger You should've known the price of evil And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah Ooh, it's your fuckin' nightmare While your nightmare comes to life
You've been lied to just to rape you of your sight And now they have the nerve to tell you how to feel (feel) So sedated as they medicate your brain And while you slowly go insane they tell you Given with the best intentions Help you with your complications
You should've known the price of evil And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah No one to call, everybody to fear Your tragic fate is lookin' so clear, yeah Ooh, it's your fuckin' nightmare Ha, ha, ha, ha
And I know you hear their voices (calling from above) And I know they may seem real (these signals of love) But our life's made up of choices (some without appeal) They took for granted your soul And it's ours now to steal As your nightmare comes to life
Afterlife
Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen So unsure but it seems, 'cause we've been waiting for you Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway
A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain Can leave this place but refrain, 'cause we've been waiting for you Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway This piece on Earth's not right (with my back against the wall) No pain or sign of time (I'm much too young to fall) So out of place, don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign I've made up my mind Give me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye Please, understand I have to leave and carry on my own life
Creating God
Standing in the shade of altruism, answering the call Came a modern messiah to save us all Something far beyond the work of fiction, Positronic brain A world that's void of all the anguish and suffering, pain
We're creating god, master of our designs We're creating god, unsure of what we'll find
Never held a high regard for Darwin, selection takes too long A little kick in the pool shouldn't do us wrong Devouring the very last invention man would ever need But exponential growth is a frightening thing, indeed
Sometimes when I look up to the sky I have to wonder are we "summoning the demon" you and I?
Have you noticed that I'm needin' it more now, more than it needs me Got a couple of billion that seem to agree Surfing in an artificial dimension, but we're not alone Now the master has become just a stepping stone, oh
We're Creating, God.
Beast and the Harlot
This shining city built of gold A far cry from innocence There's more than meets the eye around here Look to the waters of the deep A city of evil There sat a seven headed beast Ten horns raised from his head Symbolic woman sits on his throne But hatred strips her and leaves her naked The beast and the harlot
The city dressed in jewels and gold Fine linen, myrrh and pearls Her plagues will come all at once As her mourners watch her burn Destroyed in an hour Merchants and captains of the world Sailors navigators too Will weep and mourn this loss With her sins piled to the sky The beast and the harlot
The day has come for all our sinners If you're not a servant, you'll be struck to the ground Flee the burning, greedy city Looking back on her to see there's nothing around
The day has come for all our sinners If you're not a servant, you'll be struck to the ground Flee the burning, greedy city Looking back on her to see there's nothing around I don't believe in fairy tales and no one wants to go to hell You've made the wrong decision and it's easy to see Now if you wanna serve above or be a king below with us You're welcome to the city where your future is set forever
Welcome to the family
Hey kid (hey kid) Do I have your attention? I know the way you've been living Life's so reckless, tragedy endless Welcome to the family Hey There's something missing Only time will alter your vision Never in question, lethal injection Welcome to the family Not long ago you find the answers were so crystal clear Within a day you find yourself living in constant fear Can you look at yourself now, can you look at yourself? You can't win this fight
I try and help you with the things that can't be justified I need to warn you that there is no way to rationalize So have you figured it out now, so have you figured it out? You can't win this fight
And in a way it seems there's no one to call When our thoughts are so numb And our feelings unsure We all have emptiness inside, we all have answers to find But you can't win this fight!
I see you're a king who's been dethroned Cast out in a world you've never know Stand down, place your weapon by your side It's our war in the end, we'll surely lose but that's alright So have you figured it out now, so have you figured it out?
Bat Country
So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long, my vision's so unclear Now take a trip with me But don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem
You've been breakin' down for far too long Far too many moons since you felt well and strong You see, you could say goodbye but you don't have to die Not ever
Engineer the wires to your brain Architect a code so you won't feel the pain With your family by your side and vigor in your eyes forever Live Forever I'm way up, a god in size, beyond the reach of mortals I shed my human side Father, oh father I stare at my reflection, have I lost that boy inside? Final paradigm What's it really mean to be a man? Think about your answer but please understand While it's natural to fear, I'll make it disappear forever I forever I'm way up, a god in size, beyond the reach of mortals I shed my human side Father, oh father I stare at my reflection, have I lost that boy inside? Final paradigm Singular I am I have the question if these thoughts are mine To live forever but did something in me die? I'm clawing my skin but I can't feel it inside I know the agony of pain would hurt so much better I'm way up, so far up Have I lost myself tonight? Mother, oh father Have you lost that boy you used to know?
Simulation
It seems I should have walked away Reverse the wager I've no means to pay Toto has pulled back the green tonight, in sight And blue pills coat with such disdain I wore the shades for so long That I've forgotten how to see The curtain rises but who dares to pull the strings
I know this might be hard for you to believe and all, But you only exist because we allow it I question all the voices in my head Are they mine or have I been misled? Total understanding doesn't seem to mean a thing When you can't see behind the silver screen, a figurine Can't you hear me scream? By the way of cosmic rays A subtle breakdown jarred the code display A simulation as I can tell, our cell Playing out a hopeless scene We stand to lose all our charm And faith just seems to wane A billion years can seem a stunningly short time You've been beaten down time and time again But still you find yourself at the center of it all I question all the voices in my head Are they mine or have I been misled? Total understanding doesn't seem to mean a thing When you can't see behind the silver screen, a figurine Can't you hear me scream? You hear me, you had one thing to do, one thing And you fucked it up, piece of shit Nurse, patient 666158 needs to be sedated We need 500 CCs of M Oh hello there, dearie I've been expecting you Posturing the way I feel Is truth only what we believe is real? Marvel the sketches that paint the night, starlight And take a breath before it's all erased away
Their song Angels; Waking the Fallen, Sounding the Seventh Trumpet.
Everglow:
Pirate
Yeah EVERGLOW Gonna be mad lunatic, girl When the mysteriously changed moon comes A show that will start suddenly In secret, yeah, dance I want it Ddi-dam-bam-bam, bba-rira-bam-bam A paradise found in a whole new world that is out of sync ‘Cause I’m a pirate, yeah, yeah A pirate, yeah, yeah A pirate, yeah, yeah Now let me introduce myself I am a fleet I Start this voyage Towards the moon mist Yeah, let me introduce myself...
Twenty four hours, the light disappears Overnight, night, overnight During the night when the dazzling starlight shines Ayy, lift the anchor Girls all over the world Dance tonight And we could be anything, anything now Go crazy, no doubt Rowin’ for the Crown Waving the flag, yeah...
All the way, all the way, all the way The riot we made All the way, all the way, all the way Can’t ever stay quiet Girls all over the world Run tonight Just get on board ‘Cause I’m a pirate, yeah, yeah A pirate, yeah, yeah A pirate, yeah, yeah Now let me introduce myself I am a fleet Start this voyage Towards the moon mist Yeah, let me introduce myself Ahoy! Sing a song now The hidden moon festival Well, shiver me timbers (Aye-aye) Watch this night together Last chance, get on board Approaching tsunami, disappearing afternoon Everyone falls asleep under these waves Yeah, I’m making the moves During the night when the dazzling starlight shines Ayy, lift the anchor Girls all over the world Dance tonight And we could be anything, anything now Go crazy, no doubt Rowin’ for the crown Waving the flag, yeah (Oh woah) All the way, all the way, all the way The riot that we made (Oh yeah) All the way, all the way, all the way Can’t ever stay quiet Girls all over the world Run tonight Just get on board...
A letter from that future Together with that blinding light Trust me and follow me up to my ark...
Katy Perry and Nikki Manage
Michael Jackson's Best Tracks
"Swish Swish" lyrics Katy Perry Lyrics Play "Swish Swish" on Amazon Music Unlimited (ad) "Swish Swish" (feat. Nicki Minaj)
They know what is what But they don't know what is what They just strut What the fuck?
[Katy Perry:] A tiger Don't lose no sleep Don't need opinions From a shellfish or a sheep Don't you come for me No, not today You're calculated I got your number 'Cause you're a joker And I'm a courtside killer queen And you will kiss the ring You best believe
So keep calm, honey, I'mma stick around For more than a minute, get used to it Funny my name keeps comin' out your mouth 'Cause I stay winning Lay 'em up like
Swish, swish, bish Another one in the basket Can't touch this Another one in the casket
Your game is tired You should retire You're 'bout as cute as An old coupon expired And karma's not a liar She keeps receipts
So keep calm, honey, I'mma stick around For more than a minute, get used to it Funny my name keeps comin' out your mouth 'Cause I stay winning Lay 'em up like
Swish, swish, bish Another one in the basket Can't touch this Another one in the casket (Let's go) Swish, swish, bish Another one in the basket Can't touch this Another one in the casket
They know what is what But they don't know what is what Katy Perry They just know what is what Young Money But they don't know what is what They just know what is what But they don't know what is what They just strut Hahaha, yo What the fuck?
[Nicki Minaj:] Pink Ferragamo sliders on deck Silly rap beefs just get me more checks My life is a movie, I'm never off set Me and my a-Migos (no, not Offset) Swish swish, aww I got them upset But my shooters'll make 'em dance like dubstep Swish, swish, aww, my haters is obsessed 'Cause I make M's, they get much less Don't be tryna double back I already despise you All that fake love you showin' Couldn't even disguise you (Yo, yo) Ran? When? Nicki gettin' tan Mirror mirror who's the fairest bitch in all the land? Damn, man, this bitch is a Stan Muah, muah, the generous queen will kiss a fan Ass goodbye, I'mma be riding by I'mma tell my ...Biggz, yeah that's the guy A star's a star, da ha da ha They never thought the swish god would take it this far Get my pimp cup, this is pimp shit, baby I only rock with Queens, so I'm makin' hits with Katy
[Katy Perry:] Swish, swish, bish Another one in the basket And another one and another one Can't touch this Another one in the casket And another one and another one
They know what is what Do they know? But they don't know what is what They just know what is what But they don't know what is what They just know what is what But they don't know what is what They just strut What the...
Red Velvet: Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb –31
You need to “Beat It” That boy Michael Jackson ”Bad” I’m not your “Billie Jean” Don’t you “Leave Me Alone” But you’re so ambiguous, I want “Black Or White” I can’t give up on you, my “Man In The Mirror” “Why You Wanna Trip On Me” You’re too harsh Boy, you make me “Scream” Why am I like this? Well, your “Love really Never Felt So Good” It’s so electrifying that it’s like
Aespa
Next Level
aespa
I’m on the Next Level, yeah I follow the absolute rules Don't let go of my hand unity is my weapon I walk to KWANGYA I know your home ground Confront the threat Beat it, beat it, beat it
An unexpected black out The temptation is deep and strong (Too hot too hot) Letting go of the hands held together But I'll never give up
I'm on the Next Level I open the door over there Next Level I'll destroy you in thе end Until I reach the Nеxt Level KOSMO Next Level Beat it, beat it, beat it
La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la
I see the NU EVO The hostile suffering and sorrow Make you popping and evolve further That's my naevis, it's my naevis You lead, we follow After learning the feelings Watch me while I make it out
Watch me while I work it out Watch me while I make it out Watch me while I work it out Work it, work it, work it out
Even the unbearable despair Can't break my faith Watch me while I work it Even if a more painful trial comes I won't let go of your hand, oh
Never look back Don’t covet things of KWANGYA If the promises are broken, everything will be out of control The signal is becoming unstable since a certain point in time I'll destroy you in the end (We want it) Come on! Show me the way to KOSMO, yeah
A hallucination quest created by the Black Mamba Aespa, they want to separate out ae, that's right I lose my balance and my voice too In the illusion of being criticized and alienated Nævis we (Call ae, ae) Aespa's Next Level Open "P.O.S" This is the REAL WORLD, I'm awake We against the villain, what's the name? Black Mamba
I open the door in the end (Too hot, too hot) That light is like Fire to you I'm dying to know The next story that will unfold Huh!
I'm on the Next Level I open the door over there Next Level I'll destroy you in the end Until I reach the Next Level KOSMO Next Level Beat it, beat it, beat it
I'm on the Next Level I become stronger and free Next Level I'm no longer who I was at KWANGYA Next Level Feel me I'm like a beast Next Level Beat it, beat it, beat it Huh! https://lyricstranslate.com/en/next-level-next-level.html-0
Savage
[Intro: Karina] Oh my gosh Don't you know I'm a savage?
[Verse 1: Karina, Giselle] I'm a Killa who will break you, ae You're still hiding and hallucinating Beat you up, we holler I'm not afraid of you, you, hit you harder Push me in, deep fake on me To the unprepared stage Corner me in, fake on me Got everybody, mock up to me You shake me up so that I feel ashamed Cold spectators are collapsed, ae I can't stand you anymore, say, "No!"
[Refrain: Winter, Ningning] Wait and see, I'm a little savage Your dirty play I can't stand it any longer You want to break me Your hallucinations are becoming The reasons to construct you
[Pre-Chorus: Winter, Ningning] I'm a savage I'll break you into pieces yeah, oh I'm a savage I'll crush you, oh
[Chorus: Karina, Giselle, Karina & Ningning] Get me, get me now Get me, get me now (Zu-zu-zu-zu) Or I'll become more Savage (Zu-zu-zu-zu) Get me, get me now Get me, get me now (Zu-zu-zu-zu) Now I'm going to get you Now, I'm a savage Gimme, gimme now Gimme, gimme now (Zu-zu-zu-zu) I can see your words Your weakness Algorithm (Zu-zu-zu-zu) Steaming, it's steaming Steaming, it's steaming (Zu-zu-zu-zu) MA ae SYNK Don't bother me and bog off, savage (Zu-zu-zu-zu)
[Verse 2: Giselle, Winter, Karina] Mhm, everybody looks at me I'm used to it, I should take a step back I have to endure it like an adult I'm locked up in the glass I want to play such a horrible expectation I'm locked up in that hallucination frame I'm going to KWANGYA, game in Defeating a subtle alienation And making me drift apart from my ae Your satisfying trick We gone KWANGYA, game in Cut it down, my sword of light To you who is damaged It's a merciless punch
[Refrain: Ningning, Winter] See? I'm a little Savage I block your regenerative power I distract you, I leave you out Don't forget, this is KWANGYA I control your time and space Make it, break it
You are the one who protected me when I was in trouble My naevis, we love you My victory, one SYNK DIVE All the opportunities you've created I know your sacrifices, oh My naevis, we love you I know, we'll make sure to find your memories Let's meet surely after the resurrection
[Breakdown: Karina, Ningning] Savage Savage Yeah
Girls
Wake up! In a deadlier war Hold on with your feet(our feet are like hands back home) Hook! Black Mamba I am not afraid of you Hoot! I’ll break you It has changed when we entered KWANGYA Distorted æ more like me, like one A crazy presence that shows The ember that was left behind...
grew into a great evil When I helplessly isolate you Reunite we’re together again Whoo Whoo Attack Beat it Yah You’re not alone...
Shined sacrifice If you found the memory Can you show us? Can you show up? Right now, right here Follow me (Bow down) Watch me (My skill) You will get surprised (Say wow) We coming Scream (Get loud) Listen (My sound) Call it (Upgrade) We coming Blooming in chaos (We Them Girls) And confronting fear, That courage (Ah Yeah) Whenever we are together We Them Girls We Them Girls We Them Girls Meta universe exists now Parallel world All beings have meaning Part of my heart We use sympathetic words and share the body temperatures In the end, we only pursue the value of goodwill I finally became stronger I don’t get swindled or hurt It’s distorted It has started again Make sides Isolate you and me so that we can’t see ahead The algorithms that have been distorted by bad desires Use existence as the weapon and swallow with destruction Ah Evil was started at that moment Whoo Whoo Move out flip Yah I’m not alone I want to protect first encountering REKALL I will hug you so that you can feel Without SYNK DIVE Follow me (Bow down) Watch me (My skill) You will get surprised (Say wow) We coming Scream (Get loud) Listen (My sound) Call it (Upgrade) We coming Blooming in chaos (We Them Girls) And confronting fear, That courage (Ah Yeah) Whenever we are Together We Them Girls We Them Girls To face a peaceful day Inside the FLAT We laugh and love together With my friends Now I’m more curious about the future together with nævis Eventually we will probably meet nævis on the REAL MY WORLD Hold up! REAL MY WORLD Your existence is brighter than my reflection in the mirror Can you tell me? Until when, will we be together? Follow me (Bow down) Watch me (My skill) You will get surprised (Say wow) We coming Scream (Get loud) Listen (My sound) Call it (Upgrade) We coming Blooming in chaos (We Them Girls) And confronting fear, That courage (Ah Yeah) Whenever we are together We Them Girls We Them Girls We Them Girls Girls! Official translation. Play "Girls" on Amazon Music Unlimited (ad) Other Songs from Girls Album Girls Girls
Far away, far away Higher and higher To the place unseen
No one can stop me anymore Get set, go! Good-bye I’m not my old self Take a look at my WILDSIDE
By instinct, do it Come along with me Let us go down, down, down, down, da street
I didn’t go anywhere Now I could go everywhere Scared of change Just looking from the side
When you protect me and I’m breathing I’m forced into misery like a puppet, muppet I thought I was no good But behind weakness there was strength Words from loveless people, I don’t care about it anymore I will show you the truth
Never tell lies to myself any more Fly now to the place I want to be I’m never scared of going to the sky
Inside O-O-Out My wild side, my wild side The unseen me who has Overcome weakness (WILDSIDE) Far away, far away Higher and higher To the place unseen
No one can stop me anymore Get set, go! Good-bye I’m not my old self Which this WILDSIDE
Accepting myself that I don’t even know of I want to love more, believe myself more So I don’t get lost, Yeah
Starlight, slash the dark night already So bright, sparkle La-la-la-la-la
Inside O-O-Out My wild side, my wild side The unseen me who has Overcome weakness (WILDSIDE) Far away, far away Higher and higher To the place unseen
No one can stop me anymore Get set, go! Good-bye I’m not my old self Which this WILDSIDE
By instinct, do it Come along with me Let us go down down I will show you my wild side
https://youtu.be/Qpf26PtBXgo 😬 cya ❤️‍🩹😾🙀🙈
....

All year in high school I've been reminded that I'm replaceable and unwanted.
Before the end of last year, I got betrayed by someone i thought was gonna be my ride or die. She (19) had confidently said he will support me in a school election where we need to have a partner as she knew I could not find anyone. I trusted implicitedly after questioning her to the point of slight irritation. She then ditched me suddenly for a better position close to voting week. She explained we're both too hard headed because we argued over sending our images as part of introductory posts to the members during the elections. She didnt want to send picutres, but to me it is ridiculous because I have never seen people running for elections hiding their faces. Even then I seeked for a compromise to send a picture of us together instead of individual ones. After the betrayal, she did not apologise, but instead tried to explain how its not the rivals fault (because she was friends with the rival and she thought I believed that the rival tried to set me up, a conclusion that never came to my mind) and made excuses for herself. It felt like she was protecting the other friend more than me as he clarified that the rival was not involved instead of just apologising. I just was mad that she took away my options for partners by being so confident, then taking them away again by selfishly dropping out when I relied on her the most. Additionally, she received no backlash as all our mutual friends thought I kicked him out instead (making me the villian). She then tried to find a replacement for herself, but when I contacted the replacement, he was turned down the offer after being on the fence. Essentially, the replacement was just his escape route. This year, she hangs with new friends instead, only coming to me if she has no one with her, while making no effort to regain my trust.
At the start of this year I held a deputy role for someone (20M) in an organisation. I was promised an equal partnership so I placed a lot of faith in him, but I soon realised he tends to tank a lot of the work himself. Initially, he joked that we do not work well together, before fully using it as his reason for leaving me out of meetings, discussions and decision making for the rest of the year. The shift started after I made the mistake of giving my opinion the one time he did not ask for it when he did not ask, in a conversation thread where he asked for my opinions twice directly before. I declined to give my opinions after the event to avoid worsening the situation before we talked things out. However, I've been rejected a few times after initiating. Throughout the rest of the year he kept coming up with reasons why I wasnt adequate e.g. "I feel uncomfortable joking with you", "I feel you're too controlling" etc. I kept stepping back after each feedback e.g. stop making jokes, stop giving my opinions, to avoid detoriating the relationship further. However, his image of me did not change. He moved on to more excuses, inviting his significant other to discuss work stuff instead of me, leaving me out of discussions only to update me after, asking me for any suggestions only to then fiercely defending his ideas (basically asking me for suggestions is just for show). Things come to a boiling point when he threatened to leave after I initiated a talk a third time. His reasoning was because I invited the organisation head as the moderator and he felt he would be interrogated by us. After that, he fully discussed work plans with his friends instead of me, suggesting we split projects to avoid discussing altogether, and finally dropping the bombshell which is that he feels uncomfortable discussing with me and only me while he is fine with everyone else. This impacted my self esteemed a little because it felt like i was the problem, although logically I have been making all concessions to him. This also made me unable to function as the department's second in charge, because all projects go to him as the head and I cant do anything without him delegating things to me via discussions. The wording is another issue as it implies sexual harrassment especially in this social climate.
After fully isolating me, he went on to be praised as the organisation's best member, the team cannot live without him etc. It felt like he sacrificed me to make it look lile he contributed the most. It really stung when he got close to my friends after he threatened me and my friends know about the event too. Remember the first girl? Yup, she is now the closest person to him. Can you believe it?
Towards the end of the year I tried to put our differences aside and help my department organise a birthday party for him in secret while he wanted me to write thank you cards to the dept. As I needed more time since im focused on organising his birthday party, I asked if there are other dates we can give the farewell cards. He just casually suggested we split our gifts even though we are partners on paper. It felt like a slap to the face, especially after a year of implying he wanted his friends instead of me and constantly keeping me out of the loop for projects. I started to wonder why am I organising his bday party.
How do I move on from such people? Am I the problem here?

About three years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. She had been slipping mentally for a few years, and we finally took her to a neurologist, who confirmed the diagnosis. It's been really hard for all of us to watch her deteriorate, especially me, since I now have to organize family events.
Well, my sister recently celebrated her birthday, and it was at my house. The plan was for her brother-in-law and sister to pick up my mom and for the three of them to come over. My mom lives in a nursing home, and it's a nice place, but it's ridiculously expensive, given how confused she is. She's probably unaware of half of the amenities she has access to. We split the cost, but I still think it's far too much.
Well, mom showed up, and she was in rare form. She couldn't find the kitchen and was hearing things that weren't there. I was stressed out and having her babble nonsense wasn't helping. I then had a thought. I could prank my mom for some entertainment, and that would reduce the stress. I told her that the pantry door was magic and that if she opened it, it would take her to the beach, but only if she did the secret knock. My mom always took us to the beach every year as kids, and she absolutely loved to go.
Sure enough, my mom walked over to the door and was knocking on it in various ways and pressing her ear to it, like it was a seashell. It was all I could do to stifle my laughter, but my family members were giving me dirty looks and tried to get my mom away from the door. My sister later pulled me aside and tore into me. She said that I had been cruel and that if I was stressed out, I should have let other people know, and they could have taken my mom away from the kitchen. I told her that she had no right to judge me and that this was a little bit of harmless fun. I also reminded her that it's not like she would remember anyway, and I laughed hard. Well, now my sister isn't returning any of my calls, and it's been days. I think she's behaving like a spoiled child. Our mom has a goldfish brain now, and my sister is in total and complete denial about it. I'm navigating this the best that I can, and it feels like people give me no credit at all. Worse still, it's as if I'm their punching bag. I'm feeling really defeated. AITA?

Hi. I'm looking to talk to new people, maybe make a friend
They are:
History, especially the 19th-20th century but with more broad and general knowedge in other time periods. I'm not an expert or anything but I am pretty passionate about it and tend to read/listen about one event or the other on a pretty regular basis.
Literature, especially old novels. I recently read Demian (my all time favourite book), Day of the Oprichnik, Heart of Darkness, the Perfume and Little Prince. Some of my other favourite works would include: "The Picture of Dorian Gray", "Faust part I" (need to get to part II) and "No Longer Human". I also like to write short stories and book reviews. I'd also really like to read the same book with someone and discuss it. I just started reading Grimm's fairy tales.
Languages. I know three, with one being a bit rusty. I'm currently working to scrape off the rust and then when I'm finished with that will begin to learn a fourth language. It's fun to go through different works in multiple languages. For example, I read the aforementioned Faust part I in all three.
Games. I recently played Cyberpunk 2077. Now that the dust has settled and the bugs mostly removed...It's not that bad! The main questline at least, Fallout 76 (Very average, I'm dissapointed with what they made the "RPG" system) and will try out Deus Ex Manking Divided again ( Got inspired since it's somewhat similar to Cyberpunk). I was waiting to play Elden Ring but it ended being too stressful for me. Go here and get beaten up go there and get beaten up, repeat...Besides that I'm a big fan of Paradox strategy games...like EU IV and HoI IV (also thinking of making my own project for HoI IV). I am definitely looking forward to try out Victoria III, after they add more content to it. I also got Modern Warfare 2, since the first MW had great multiplayer gameplay.
Anime and Manga. In recent times my interest has waned but I still watch the occasional series here and there. Like Cyberpunk Edgerunners (Which I found to be rather mediocre) and the very good new season of Bleach. Some other favourites include: Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Death Note, Fate;Zero, Psycho Pass , Higurashi (season 2 is a bit weak but the first one is a masterpiece of horror), Code Geass, Attack on Titan and others. My favourite Manga is Berserk...I hope it gets a good ending..the first couple of new chapters were...a bit rough but the new author seems to have got his footing.
Anyway, that should be enough information to give you a good picture... Before I go, I would like to ask for you to include the title of the last book you read in your reply. A small request, I feel. I'll be ignoring those that don't.

Hello everyone, I'm here to share my story and i'd appreciate any advice
When i was a kid maybe 4 or 5 years old my dad was always this cruel person towards me , he got some serious anger issues
He used to beat the shit out of me when i was a kid , all the time for the stupidest reasons.
Like if he tells me to grab some stuff from the store and i forget to bring one thing ... It's over for me.
He grabs his belt and start hitting me over and over again , telling me how could you forget this simple thing , you're useless ...etc
Kicks my face and sometimes even punches
Anyhow as i grew older when i was maybe 17 or 16 , i started smoking cigarettes and i used to smoke and do it in secret because i don't want my dad to find out ...
But eventually he did find out and that was the worst day ever , he started punching me and hitting me in the face but i pushed back and i didn't let him hit me
Everytime he tries to hit , i grab his hands and i stop him.
He said : don't fucking grab my hands
But i ignored him and i just kept blocking his hittings
He was furious that I'm blocking his beating , so he grabbed his gun and started hitting me with the back of the gun over and over again
I had bruises all over my hands and body.
I never reported my dad for any of this things and I'll never report him because i can't do it i just can't.
My mom knows about everything he's done but she's just like me ... Afraid
He never hit my mom but she can't do anything.
Anyhow fast forward to now .... I got married and i had a kid and i actually named my son over my dads name to show him love and respect, he was happy about it and i thought that his anger issues phase is over for good.
My son ... He's 7 years old now , i went to my parents place to visit them and my son was just playing ball inside their home , it was harmless
My dad said : fucking stop playing here , you're gonna break something
I heard my dad yelling but i was like he's not going to do anything to his grandkid
20 mins later my son comes to me crying all in tears saying that his granddad hit him for playing ball.
I was so angry and for the first time in my life i wanted to hit my dad so bad , i told him why did you touch my son.
He said : he's just a spoiled little brat , i told him to stop playing ball but he won't listen.
I took my kid and i left and my mom was crying telling me to stay but i told her I'll come some other time and i gotta go.
him hitting me was something i was dealing with and accepting it but i would never allow him to hit my son and make my son go through the same misery i went through
Now i don't even think that I'll ever let him see his grandkid ever again.
I really don't know what to do Reporting him to the authorities is not an option for me. I'm not going to report him.
Also cutting ties with him means cutting ties with my mother also and i don't want to do that to my mom.
I just want a solution without involving the authorities or cutting ties with them. Please help.
how can i make this work between me and my parents and my own family ??

Lyrics in songs I've noticed.
Red Velvet

• Queendom

Oh hey! In the same dream
It kept calling us
Wonderland beyond distant memories
...........
Cntd
We we we strong, nothing missing
Wake up, the answer is Simple
Be Boss, blow the Whistle
The bigger world is noticing you.
Shall we have a festival? I hold your hand.
We've been waiting for this moment. Spread your wings and be yourself.
Come play at My carnival.
Climax? It starts now.
Watch out! We are making the rules.
......
It’s now or never, we got forever.
Sappy
;
You're sobbing and being pessimistic
You're hesitating again, you can't choose
Writing poems in your note, your hobby is sentimental
Look, now it's time to open the door
........
Tell me, which do you love?
It's not bad thing to dream
It's not a fairytale, it's the real world
What are you gonna do? Which one are you
gonna pick?
Reality or fantasy, adolescent boy?
I'm still clearing dating simulation games
using the manual
I'm still a long way from real love
.......
It's not that I don't like it
Escape from being just two-dimensional
Which one do you love?
Tonight let me know your true feelings
You'll really grow up then
Tell me, which one do you love?
(In the video the lyrics are "Logging out from delusion" for a part of it.)
That's not even getting into the imagery in the video.
Feel My Rhythm
Blowing up this fancy ball
We're back, cute chaotic delight
This is gonna be a crazy night
Epic appearance to stunning greetings
Let's have a little fun
Don't be shy, Bae bae
Let the play start
(Birds and wings everywhere in the video. Irene is shown offering strawberries to a gigantic statue of some sort which then falls towards her. Joy is seen standing in front of some type of being with wings, I can't tell what it would be though. Maybe one of us? Cant tell, she's, yeah she's blocking the shot)
Imagine anything
Now cruising into a weird, new dimension
A place I've never imagined appears unexpectedly
Don't miss this moment, baby.
Don't confine yourself to yesterday or tomorrow.
I'm truly free right now.
Come ride with me (Sway)
Let's go anywhere (Way)
I want to mess all the boundaries
In this world (Oh yeah)
When the world stops What a what a feeling Come take my hand (All right) A brand new Film We falling deep, You and I Next time, spin the clock Where should we go? Come on, let's start again You and I
Everglow
You used to be afraid of the dark night (ah yeah yeah) Hiding without anyone else knowing (ah yeah yeah) No one say happy ending You stayed silent and ran away (Here we go Here we go like)...
Knock Knock There’s a monster It’s growing larger, the black hole inside of you When you back uh? The howler has swallowed you, that’s the killer Don’t be afraid, hold my hand Your past is making you scared But know your power For the final time, be first You know that I come first I’m the winner winner winner Yes, it’s the last melody To save save save you (so don’t keep) Don’t be deceived by the lie That there is no light in this world Together we will Dream a dream that’s never been seen before Dream a dream that’s never been seen before (Ya) It’s ok if you fall (stand up) It’s you (hands up) Faster Stronger Better Gotta be the best Between night and day, around 5:30AM A war without loyalty will suffocate you, this is a foul Lies, darkness, truth, ecstasy, fantasy My candle makes you explode like a fireworks of melodies in the dawn Don’t be afraid, hold my hand Your past is making you scared But know your power For the final time, be first You know that I come first I’m the winner winner winner Yes, it’s the last melody To save save save you (so don’t keep) Don’t be deceived by the lie That there is no light in this world Together we will Dream a dream that’s never been seen before I’m breaking down the walls, crossing the lines I won’t shrivel up, I’ll jump over one step You got me now got me now two step Don’t slow it down slow it down Shout towards the sky that comes to you Hold onto the key of hope...
Bon bon chocolate

go up to the sky

.
Avenged Sevenfold
Hate to twist your mind, but God ain't on your side
Flesh is burning, you can smell it in the air 'Cause men like you have such an easy soul to steal (steal) So stand in line while they ink numbers in your head You're now a slave until the end of time here Nothing stops the madness turning Haunting, yearning, pull the trigger You should've known the price of evil And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah Ooh, it's your fuckin' nightmare While your nightmare comes to life
You've been lied to just to rape you of your sight And now they have the nerve to tell you how to feel (feel) So sedated as they medicate your brain And while you slowly go insane they tell you Given with the best intentions Help you with your complications
You should've known the price of evil And it hurts to know that you belong here, yeah No one to call, everybody to fear Your tragic fate is lookin' so clear, yeah Ooh, it's your fuckin' nightmare Ha, ha, ha, ha
And I know you hear their voices (calling from above) And I know they may seem real (these signals of love) But our life's made up of choices (some without appeal) They took for granted your soul And it's ours now to steal As your nightmare comes to life
Afterlife
Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen So unsure but it seems, 'cause we've been waiting for you Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway
A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain Can leave this place but refrain, 'cause we've been waiting for you Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway This piece on Earth's not right (with my back against the wall) No pain or sign of time (I'm much too young to fall) So out of place, don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign I've made up my mind Give me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye Please, understand I have to leave and carry on my own life
Creating God
Standing in the shade of altruism, answering the call Came a modern messiah to save us all Something far beyond the work of fiction, Positronic brain A world that's void of all the anguish and suffering, pain
We're creating god, master of our designs We're creating god, unsure of what we'll find
Never held a high regard for Darwin, selection takes too long A little kick in the pool shouldn't do us wrong Devouring the very last invention man would ever need But exponential growth is a frightening thing, indeed
Sometimes when I look up to the sky I have to wonder are we "summoning the demon" you and I?
Have you noticed that I'm needin' it more now, more than it needs me Got a couple of billion that seem to agree Surfing in an artificial dimension, but we're not alone Now the master has become just a stepping stone, oh
We're Creating, God.
Beast and the Harlot
This shining city built of gold A far cry from innocence There's more than meets the eye around here Look to the waters of the deep A city of evil There sat a seven headed beast Ten horns raised from his head Symbolic woman sits on his throne But hatred strips her and leaves her naked The beast and the harlot
The city dressed in jewels and gold Fine linen, myrrh and pearls Her plagues will come all at once As her mourners watch her burn Destroyed in an hour Merchants and captains of the world Sailors navigators too Will weep and mourn this loss With her sins piled to the sky The beast and the harlot
The day has come for all our sinners If you're not a servant, you'll be struck to the ground Flee the burning, greedy city Looking back on her to see there's nothing around
The day has come for all our sinners If you're not a servant, you'll be struck to the ground Flee the burning, greedy city Looking back on her to see there's nothing around I don't believe in fairy tales and no one wants to go to hell You've made the wrong decision and it's easy to see Now if you wanna serve above or be a king below with us You're welcome to the city where your future is set forever
Welcome to the family
Hey kid (hey kid) Do I have your attention? I know the way you've been living Life's so reckless, tragedy endless Welcome to the family Hey There's something missing Only time will alter your vision Never in question, lethal injection Welcome to the family Not long ago you find the answers were so crystal clear Within a day you find yourself living in constant fear Can you look at yourself now, can you look at yourself? You can't win this fight
I try and help you with the things that can't be justified I need to warn you that there is no way to rationalize So have you figured it out now, so have you figured it out? You can't win this fight
And in a way it seems there's no one to call When our thoughts are so numb And our feelings unsure We all have emptiness inside, we all have answers to find But you can't win this fight!
I see you're a king who's been dethroned Cast out in a world you've never know Stand down, place your weapon by your side It's our war in the end, we'll surely lose but that's alright So have you figured it out now, so have you figured it out?
Bat Country
So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long, my vision's so unclear Now take a trip with me But don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem
You've been breakin' down for far too long Far too many moons since you felt well and strong You see, you could say goodbye but you don't have to die Not ever
Engineer the wires to your brain Architect a code so you won't feel the pain With your family by your side and vigor in your eyes forever Live Forever I'm way up, a god in size, beyond the reach of mortals I shed my human side Father, oh father I stare at my reflection, have I lost that boy inside? Final paradigm What's it really mean to be a man? Think about your answer but please understand While it's natural to fear, I'll make it disappear forever I forever I'm way up, a god in size, beyond the reach of mortals I shed my human side Father, oh father I stare at my reflection, have I lost that boy inside? Final paradigm Singular I am I have the question if these thoughts are mine To live forever but did something in me die? I'm clawing my skin but I can't feel it inside I know the agony of pain would hurt so much better I'm way up, so far up Have I lost myself tonight? Mother, oh father Have you lost that boy you used to know?
Simulation
It seems I should have walked away Reverse the wager I've no means to pay Toto has pulled back the green tonight, in sight And blue pills coat with such disdain I wore the shades for so long That I've forgotten how to see The curtain rises but who dares to pull the strings
I know this might be hard for you to believe and all, But you only exist because we allow it I question all the voices in my head Are they mine or have I been misled? Total understanding doesn't seem to mean a thing When you can't see behind the silver screen, a figurine Can't you hear me scream? By the way of cosmic rays A subtle breakdown jarred the code display A simulation as I can tell, our cell Playing out a hopeless scene We stand to lose all our charm And faith just seems to wane A billion years can seem a stunningly short time You've been beaten down time and time again But still you find yourself at the center of it all I question all the voices in my head Are they mine or have I been misled? Total understanding doesn't seem to mean a thing When you can't see behind the silver screen, a figurine Can't you hear me scream? You hear me, you had one thing to do, one thing And you fucked it up, piece of shit Nurse, patient 666158 needs to be sedated We need 500 CCs of M Oh hello there, dearie I've been expecting you Posturing the way I feel Is truth only what we believe is real? Marvel the sketches that paint the night, starlight And take a breath before it's all erased away
Their song Angels; Waking the Fallen, Sounding the Seventh Trumpet.
Everglow:
Pirate
Yeah EVERGLOW Gonna be mad lunatic, girl When the mysteriously changed moon comes A show that will start suddenly In secret, yeah, dance I want it Ddi-dam-bam-bam, bba-rira-bam-bam A paradise found in a whole new world that is out of sync ‘Cause I’m a pirate, yeah, yeah A pirate, yeah, yeah A pirate, yeah, yeah Now let me introduce myself I am a fleet I Start this voyage Towards the moon mist Yeah, let me introduce myself...
Twenty four hours, the light disappears Overnight, night, overnight During the night when the dazzling starlight shines Ayy, lift the anchor Girls all over the world Dance tonight And we could be anything, anything now Go crazy, no doubt Rowin’ for the Crown Waving the flag, yeah...
All the way, all the way, all the way The riot we made All the way, all the way, all the way Can’t ever stay quiet Girls all over the world Run tonight Just get on board ‘Cause I’m a pirate, yeah, yeah A pirate, yeah, yeah A pirate, yeah, yeah Now let me introduce myself I am a fleet Start this voyage Towards the moon mist Yeah, let me introduce myself Ahoy! Sing a song now The hidden moon festival Well, shiver me timbers (Aye-aye) Watch this night together Last chance, get on board Approaching tsunami, disappearing afternoon Everyone falls asleep under these waves Yeah, I’m making the moves During the night when the dazzling starlight shines Ayy, lift the anchor Girls all over the world Dance tonight And we could be anything, anything now Go crazy, no doubt Rowin’ for the crown Waving the flag, yeah (Oh woah) All the way, all the way, all the way The riot that we made (Oh yeah) All the way, all the way, all the way Can’t ever stay quiet Girls all over the world Run tonight Just get on board...
A letter from that future Together with that blinding light Trust me and follow me up to my ark...
Katy Perry and Nikki Manage
Michael Jackson's Best Tracks
"Swish Swish" lyrics Katy Perry Lyrics Play "Swish Swish" on Amazon Music Unlimited (ad) "Swish Swish" (feat. Nicki Minaj)
They know what is what But they don't know what is what They just strut What the fuck?
[Katy Perry:] A tiger Don't lose no sleep Don't need opinions From a shellfish or a sheep Don't you come for me No, not today You're calculated I got your number 'Cause you're a joker And I'm a courtside killer queen And you will kiss the ring You best believe
So keep calm, honey, I'mma stick around For more than a minute, get used to it Funny my name keeps comin' out your mouth 'Cause I stay winning Lay 'em up like
Swish, swish, bish Another one in the basket Can't touch this Another one in the casket
Your game is tired You should retire You're 'bout as cute as An old coupon expired And karma's not a liar She keeps receipts
So keep calm, honey, I'mma stick around For more than a minute, get used to it Funny my name keeps comin' out your mouth 'Cause I stay winning Lay 'em up like
Swish, swish, bish Another one in the basket Can't touch this Another one in the casket (Let's go) Swish, swish, bish Another one in the basket Can't touch this Another one in the casket
They know what is what But they don't know what is what Katy Perry They just know what is what Young Money But they don't know what is what They just know what is what But they don't know what is what They just strut Hahaha, yo What the fuck?
[Nicki Minaj:] Pink Ferragamo sliders on deck Silly rap beefs just get me more checks My life is a movie, I'm never off set Me and my a-Migos (no, not Offset) Swish swish, aww I got them upset But my shooters'll make 'em dance like dubstep Swish, swish, aww, my haters is obsessed 'Cause I make M's, they get much less Don't be tryna double back I already despise you All that fake love you showin' Couldn't even disguise you (Yo, yo) Ran? When? Nicki gettin' tan Mirror mirror who's the fairest bitch in all the land? Damn, man, this bitch is a Stan Muah, muah, the generous queen will kiss a fan Ass goodbye, I'mma be riding by I'mma tell my ...Biggz, yeah that's the guy A star's a star, da ha da ha They never thought the swish god would take it this far Get my pimp cup, this is pimp shit, baby I only rock with Queens, so I'm makin' hits with Katy
[Katy Perry:] Swish, swish, bish Another one in the basket And another one and another one Can't touch this Another one in the casket And another one and another one
They know what is what Do they know? But they don't know what is what They just know what is what But they don't know what is what They just know what is what But they don't know what is what They just strut What the...
Red Velvet: Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb –31
You need to “Beat It” That boy Michael Jackson ”Bad” I’m not your “Billie Jean” Don’t you “Leave Me Alone” But you’re so ambiguous, I want “Black Or White” I can’t give up on you, my “Man In The Mirror” “Why You Wanna Trip On Me” You’re too harsh Boy, you make me “Scream” Why am I like this? Well, your “Love really Never Felt So Good” It’s so electrifying that it’s like
Aespa
Next Level
aespa
I’m on the Next Level, yeah I follow the absolute rules Don't let go of my hand unity is my weapon I walk to KWANGYA I know your home ground Confront the threat Beat it, beat it, beat it
An unexpected black out The temptation is deep and strong (Too hot too hot) Letting go of the hands held together But I'll never give up
I'm on the Next Level I open the door over there Next Level I'll destroy you in thе end Until I reach the Nеxt Level KOSMO Next Level Beat it, beat it, beat it
La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la
I see the NU EVO The hostile suffering and sorrow Make you popping and evolve further That's my naevis, it's my naevis You lead, we follow After learning the feelings Watch me while I make it out
Watch me while I work it out Watch me while I make it out Watch me while I work it out Work it, work it, work it out
Even the unbearable despair Can't break my faith Watch me while I work it Even if a more painful trial comes I won't let go of your hand, oh
Never look back Don’t covet things of KWANGYA If the promises are broken, everything will be out of control The signal is becoming unstable since a certain point in time I'll destroy you in the end (We want it) Come on! Show me the way to KOSMO, yeah
A hallucination quest created by the Black Mamba Aespa, they want to separate out ae, that's right I lose my balance and my voice too In the illusion of being criticized and alienated Nævis we (Call ae, ae) Aespa's Next Level Open "P.O.S" This is the REAL WORLD, I'm awake We against the villain, what's the name? Black Mamba
I open the door in the end (Too hot, too hot) That light is like Fire to you I'm dying to know The next story that will unfold Huh!
I'm on the Next Level I open the door over there Next Level I'll destroy you in the end Until I reach the Next Level KOSMO Next Level Beat it, beat it, beat it
I'm on the Next Level I become stronger and free Next Level I'm no longer who I was at KWANGYA Next Level Feel me I'm like a beast Next Level Beat it, beat it, beat it Huh! https://lyricstranslate.com/en/next-level-next-level.html-0
Savage
[Intro: Karina] Oh my gosh Don't you know I'm a savage?
[Verse 1: Karina, Giselle] I'm a Killa who will break you, ae You're still hiding and hallucinating Beat you up, we holler I'm not afraid of you, you, hit you harder Push me in, deep fake on me To the unprepared stage Corner me in, fake on me Got everybody, mock up to me You shake me up so that I feel ashamed Cold spectators are collapsed, ae I can't stand you anymore, say, "No!"
[Refrain: Winter, Ningning] Wait and see, I'm a little savage Your dirty play I can't stand it any longer You want to break me Your hallucinations are becoming The reasons to construct you
[Pre-Chorus: Winter, Ningning] I'm a savage I'll break you into pieces yeah, oh I'm a savage I'll crush you, oh
[Chorus: Karina, Giselle, Karina & Ningning] Get me, get me now Get me, get me now (Zu-zu-zu-zu) Or I'll become more Savage (Zu-zu-zu-zu) Get me, get me now Get me, get me now (Zu-zu-zu-zu) Now I'm going to get you Now, I'm a savage Gimme, gimme now Gimme, gimme now (Zu-zu-zu-zu) I can see your words Your weakness Algorithm (Zu-zu-zu-zu) Steaming, it's steaming Steaming, it's steaming (Zu-zu-zu-zu) MA ae SYNK Don't bother me and bog off, savage (Zu-zu-zu-zu)
[Verse 2: Giselle, Winter, Karina] Mhm, everybody looks at me I'm used to it, I should take a step back I have to endure it like an adult I'm locked up in the glass I want to play such a horrible expectation I'm locked up in that hallucination frame I'm going to KWANGYA, game in Defeating a subtle alienation And making me drift apart from my ae Your satisfying trick We gone KWANGYA, game in Cut it down, my sword of light To you who is damaged It's a merciless punch
[Refrain: Ningning, Winter] See? I'm a little Savage I block your regenerative power I distract you, I leave you out Don't forget, this is KWANGYA I control your time and space Make it, break it
You are the one who protected me when I was in trouble My naevis, we love you My victory, one SYNK DIVE All the opportunities you've created I know your sacrifices, oh My naevis, we love you I know, we'll make sure to find your memories Let's meet surely after the resurrection
[Breakdown: Karina, Ningning] Savage Savage Yeah
Girls
Wake up! In a deadlier war Hold on with your feet(our feet are like hands back home) Hook! Black Mamba I am not afraid of you Hoot! I’ll break you It has changed when we entered KWANGYA Distorted æ more like me, like one A crazy presence that shows The ember that was left behind...
grew into a great evil When I helplessly isolate you Reunite we’re together again Whoo Whoo Attack Beat it Yah You’re not alone...
Shined sacrifice If you found the memory Can you show us? Can you show up? Right now, right here Follow me (Bow down) Watch me (My skill) You will get surprised (Say wow) We coming Scream (Get loud) Listen (My sound) Call it (Upgrade) We coming Blooming in chaos (We Them Girls) And confronting fear, That courage (Ah Yeah) Whenever we are together We Them Girls We Them Girls We Them Girls Meta universe exists now Parallel world All beings have meaning Part of my heart We use sympathetic words and share the body temperatures In the end, we only pursue the value of goodwill I finally became stronger I don’t get swindled or hurt It’s distorted It has started again Make sides Isolate you and me so that we can’t see ahead The algorithms that have been distorted by bad desires Use existence as the weapon and swallow with destruction Ah Evil was started at that moment Whoo Whoo Move out flip Yah I’m not alone I want to protect first encountering REKALL I will hug you so that you can feel Without SYNK DIVE Follow me (Bow down) Watch me (My skill) You will get surprised (Say wow) We coming Scream (Get loud) Listen (My sound) Call it (Upgrade) We coming Blooming in chaos (We Them Girls) And confronting fear, That courage (Ah Yeah) Whenever we are Together We Them Girls We Them Girls To face a peaceful day Inside the FLAT We laugh and love together With my friends Now I’m more curious about the future together with nævis Eventually we will probably meet nævis on the REAL MY WORLD Hold up! REAL MY WORLD Your existence is brighter than my reflection in the mirror Can you tell me? Until when, will we be together? Follow me (Bow down) Watch me (My skill) You will get surprised (Say wow) We coming Scream (Get loud) Listen (My sound) Call it (Upgrade) We coming Blooming in chaos (We Them Girls) And confronting fear, That courage (Ah Yeah) Whenever we are together We Them Girls We Them Girls We Them Girls Girls! Official translation. Play "Girls" on Amazon Music Unlimited (ad) Other Songs from Girls Album Girls Girls
Far away, far away Higher and higher To the place unseen
No one can stop me anymore Get set, go! Good-bye I’m not my old self Take a look at my WILDSIDE
By instinct, do it Come along with me Let us go down, down, down, down, da street
I didn’t go anywhere Now I could go everywhere Scared of change Just looking from the side
When you protect me and I’m breathing I’m forced into misery like a puppet, muppet I thought I was no good But behind weakness there was strength Words from loveless people, I don’t care about it anymore I will show you the truth
Never tell lies to myself any more Fly now to the place I want to be I’m never scared of going to the sky
Inside O-O-Out My wild side, my wild side The unseen me who has Overcome weakness (WILDSIDE) Far away, far away Higher and higher To the place unseen
No one can stop me anymore Get set, go! Good-bye I’m not my old self Which this WILDSIDE
Accepting myself that I don’t even know of I want to love more, believe myself more So I don’t get lost, Yeah
Starlight, slash the dark night already So bright, sparkle La-la-la-la-la
Inside O-O-Out My wild side, my wild side The unseen me who has Overcome weakness (WILDSIDE) Far away, far away Higher and higher To the place unseen
No one can stop me anymore Get set, go! Good-bye I’m not my old self Which this WILDSIDE
By instinct, do it Come along with me Let us go down down I will show you my wild side
https://youtu.be/Qpf26PtBXgo 😬 cya ❤️‍🩹😾🙀🙈
Somethings gonna give and it's not going to be me.

Quick Author's Note:
For better clarity of intent, the 'worthwhile opponent' stipulation in Lifedrinker is being changed to 'non-negligible opponent' moving forward.
​
--
​
"The Gellin Empress was the catalyst for our breakthrough," a mage explained. "Tracing Lord Rob's lingering mana signature through the space between dimensions proved effective at first, yet it came with an insurmountable problem: he only attained mana after initially leaving Earth. At a certain point, there was no more of a signature for us to trace. We had found his home dimension, but finding his home world within the infinite expanses of that dimension could have taken years of aimless searching, like blind men stumbling in the dark."
He leaned forward, clearly enjoying having a captive audience. "The key, then, lay within Lord Rob's memories. Even without mana, memories have a power all their own. The Empress looked within his mind and found locations of personal importance to him. Ones that he remembers with pristine clarity. By scrying for areas within Lord Rob's dimension that matched those specific locations, we were able to narrow down the scope of our search considerably."
The mage spread his palms wide, and his voice dropped a full octave, as if he was imparting a great revelation. "The result will soon be made self-evident. You shall bear witness to the foremost magical achievement of our era: a one-way viewing window into Lord Rob's world. The first of many to come."
In respect for the man's showmanship, Rob started up a clap. Granted, he would've clapped even if the explanation was done via a mindnumbing PowerPoint presentation, because nothing in the universe could stunt his enthusiasm right now. Riardin's Ranger, the Elders, Diplomacy, and the Soul Surgeon clapped as well, although Rob was pretty sure they were just following his cues. This moment couldn't possibly hold the same gravitas for them as it did for him. They mostly were here to provide moral support and satisfy their curiosity.
While for him, this meant everything.
"Do we need the Gellin Empress here to create the window?" Rob asked. "I'd also like to thank her for the help she's given."
The mage shook his head. "I'll spare you the details, but to be succinct; she taught us how to save a mana-based copy of the necessary memories, which will allow us to attune to a subset of Earth locations. Her presence is not required. In fact, she insisted that we proceed without her, as the Gellin have gone to rest for the night."
Must be nice. I'd trade ten Levels for a consistent sleep schedule. Rob internally frowned at himself, punting the envious thoughts away. No sour grapes. If the Empress helped me see Earth again, then I hope she sleeps like a baby for the rest of her life.
"One question," Keira interjected. "In your explanation, you stated that, without the Empress' assistance, it may have taken years to discover Earth. That is hardly the weeks or months you claimed in the past."
The group of dimension mages froze, embarrassment blooming on their features. They looked to the head mage for guidance, whose veneer of showmanship was deflating like a leaky balloon. "We were perhaps...optimistic."
"By years?"
"The previous estimate I put forth was one that assumed we would develop breakthroughs as we went along." His mouth widened into a sheepish grin. "As you can see, we, um, succeeded."
Keira raised an eyebrow. "Only with the timely assistance of a Leader." Her tone was calm, yet unyielding. "Rob is too grateful to point out this contradiction, so I suppose the task falls to me. You have also told us that you should be able to 'open' the window and let Rob send a letter home within the next week – is that more unfounded optimism?"
"No." The mage straightened his posture. "Now that we have located Earth, the rest is simply a matter of refining our spells and collecting reserves of mana. We are no longer blind, nor are we fumbling in the dark, and thus our progress moving forward shall be predictable and steady. This, I swear."
After a few seconds, Keira nodded. "Then I thank you for the wonderful boon you've granted to the man I love."
From behind, Malika giggled under her breath. Rob squeezed Keira's hand, gave her a warm smile, and faced the mages. "I'm ready whenever you are."
The tent thrummed with mana as the dimension mages formed a Mage Circle with Malika. It was no different from any other time they'd done so, yet the knowledge of what they were about to accomplish heightened the tension in the air to a fever pitch. Rob's pulse quickened, his throat tightening. He'd been disemboweled by monsters, decapitated by eldritch abominations, and none of those events made him a fraction as nervous as watching the dimension mages at work.
Minutes passed. Rob forced himself to be patient. Reaching across the boundaries of space and dimensions wasn't like heading to the store to pick up a carton of milk. It involved a level of spellcasting prowess that would take Rob decades of committed study to have even the slightest chance at grasping. Frankly, the fact that it was possible at all still beggared belief.
Maybe...maybe the mages were wrong. Not lying; just wrong. They could be overeager, sharing before they were actually ready, and they'd end the circle looking contrite and ashamed.
That was okay. No biggie. Rome wasn't built in a day, or...something. He could wait–
Creak.
It was the sound of a rusted hinge, of crumpling paper, of breaking bones, and more. A combination of all the noises things made when subjected to an external force. Like reality itself was groaning under the pressure.
Creeeak.
A thin, imperceptible line appeared at eye-level, dark as the endless void. Slowly, inch-by-inch, it widened.
CREEEAK.
It had become a rectangle. Two feet wide, three feet high. With a final CREAK, reality threw in the towel. The void dissipated, as if smoke blown away by a gust of wind, revealing...
Home.
Everything was as he remembered it. The same furniture with scuffed marks of wear-and-tear. The same living room where they'd watched movies each Friday. The same kitchen with a sink perpetually filled with dirty dishes. The same tacky wallpaper that his mom refused to change, and that he secretly enjoyed.
Identical. Like a portrait had been painted straight from his memories.
A tsunami of aching nostalgia surged through him. Rob didn't realize he was extending his hand until his fingertips were already brushing against the viewing window. Its surface felt solid, and for an instant he was terrified that this really was just a painting. Something invented to give him false hope.
Then he noticed that a window had been cracked open. Not the mages' window; the window inside his house. A small breeze blew inside, jostling a curtain ever so lightly. Just enough to make it move.
"It's real." Rob's voice was hoarse. "It's my home."
No one said anything. They allowed him his silence, a gesture which he greatly appreciated. Eventually, Rob took a deep breath, clenched his hands so that they wouldn't tremble, and looked at the dimension mages. "Thank you. I owe you...so much. Even if observing from afar ended up being the limit of what you could do, just seeing my house again like this is..."
He trailed off, unable to find words that were sufficient. Thankfully, the dimension mages seemed to understand. "You are most welcome, Lord Rob." The head mage smiled. "This is far from the limit of what we can do, however. Give us time, and this window shall open."
Rob nodded, choosing not to believe them. They were probably right, but on the off chance they weren't, he didn't want to look back on this moment with bitterness. Best to assume the worst and be grateful for what he already had.
As if drawn by a gravitational pull, his eyes drifted back towards the window. It was displaying a fixed point in the center of his home. "Can you switch perspectives? I want to check other rooms." His parents were likely asleep in their bedroom at this hour. Assuming they didn't sell the house out of grief and move, that is.
"I am afraid that isn't possible. We can transpose the viewing window to other specific locations that the Empress provided, but having it 'walk around', so to speak, requires finer control than we are yet capable of."
Yet, he says. Which means that with practice, they'll be able to. Rob placated himself with that notion. This was a minor setback, and he wouldn't let it get him down.
He especially wouldn't listen to that tiny voice in the back of his head, whispering that the reason he couldn't see his parents right now was because they were–
"Got it," Rob stated, in a wooden voice. "What other locations did the Empress pick out?"
The window's perspective blurred and shifted. Rob swallowed a gasp as an extremely familiar place was displayed before him. He'd seen it many, many times, even after coming to Elatra. It used to be at the top of his nightmare rotation, only ousted from its throne when Blights started coming into play.
In front of them was a small grassy lawn, surrounded by lecture halls in the near-distance. The place that had forever altered the course of his life.
"This is where it all started." Rob pointed to an empty spot in the middle of the field. "Portal opened up. Right there. Saturated with darkness. Chains shot out, tried to grab at Jason. I pushed him out of the way, and...the rest is history."
Silence reigned once more. After a few seconds, Orn'tol stirred. The young Ranger opened his mouth, preparing to say what would undoubtedly be some platitude reassuring Rob over his noble sacrifice.
"The grass truly is green."
Rob burst out laughing. He kept going until he was short of breath, wheezing as the others looked at him with eyes full of concern. "I'm okay," he managed to cough, once the laughter had died down to snickers. "Thanks, Orn'tol. I needed that."
"You're very welcome?" Orn'tol exchanged confused glances with the rest of Riardin's Rangers. "I am unsure of what I did to assist you, yet it's good to see you in high spirits nonetheless."
"Sometimes a little silliness is just what the doctor ordered." Rob offered him a high-five, which the boy accepted with zeal. They returned their gazes to the viewing window, Rob tilting his head as he peered closer. "Hmm. That's weird."
"What do you mean?"
"There's no people. It's early evening, but college students have the worst sleeping patterns on the face of the planet. Trust me; I'm speaking from experience. Usually you'd see a dozen partygoers strung out on energy drinks racing around now."
"Perhaps this location is known as a place of danger," Keira posited. "I would certainly be hesitant to tread where a portal of darkness sprang from the aether and kidnapped a civilian."
Rob watched the viewing window for signs of life, finding none. "Could be. Parents probably pulled their kids out after what happened to me. Then either the government condemns the area, or enough money is lost that the college goes bankrupt." He snorted. "Would be the least of what it deserves, considering the tuition fees. Bloodsucking vampires."
"People on Earth drink blood?"
Normally, Rob would have played along with their confusion, but there were more important things to focus on. "Can you change this to the next location from my memories?" he asked the dimension mages. "How many are there, anyway?"
"Five in total. One moment, please."
The window's perspective blurred, shifted, and reformed. Now it was displaying a city sidewalk, its view positioned right outside the best god damn burger joint in existence. Rob didn't care what anyone else said; two greasy slabs of beef squeezed between two sesame-seed buns was the absolute pinnacle of culinary delight. So what if his palette was 'like a five-year old's?' Wasn't his fault that delicious things were delicious.
Belatedly, he realized that his memory of this restaurant had been strong enough for the Gellin Empress to choose it as a point of reference for interdimensional portal magic. That...yeah, that tracked. Aside from the burgers, he had fond memories of sitting at the outside patio with Jason and his folks, drinking Minty Fresh Phantasma and inhaling cheesy fries as they mocked his dietary preferences. Good times.
He was about to explain what this place meant to him when a human casually walked past the viewing window.
She was a normal working woman like any other. Tired eyes, a purse slung over her shoulder, and dressed for lukewarm weather. A cell phone was held in her right hand, her eyes glued to some form of social media. She strode past the window without a care in the world, visible for merely a second before disappearing from view.
To the Elatrans, it was like a horror movie jumpscare. All of them froze. Several gasped. Elder Alessia grimaced. Faelynn muttered "a world of Humans" in a hushed tone. The only exceptions were Elder Duran and the Soul Surgeon, who crept closer to get a better look, their eyes shimmering with curiosity.
In contrast, Rob let out a sigh of overwhelming relief. That bored, everyday woman was exactly what he'd needed to set him at ease. Earth hasn't completely gone to shit behind my back. People are still living their lives.
As he watched, a few more humans walked in front of the window. A middle-aged man, a young boy with his mother, and an old woman with a walking cane. The old woman pivoted straight into the burger joint, Rob internally praising her good taste.
"W-well," the head mage stuttered. He paused, cleared his throat, then started anew. "As you can see, the viewing window is imperceptible to those with low Levels of Sense Mana. Naturally, this will not be the case for a portal that can be interacted with from both sides."
"Dangerous," Meyneth commented. "I would advise that you conceal this type of spell for as long as you are able. The viewing window especially."
"Why is that?"
"If this window cannot be sensed by those with low Levels of Sense Mana, then that makes it an ideal tool for spying on non-Mages. In your haste to glimpse into the world of another dimension, you have inadvertently developed a field of magic that puts every nation in Elatra at risk of subterfuge. People have been assassinated for much less."
The mages blanched. "We are nothing more than simple researchers," the head mage protested, in a faltering voice. "Who besides a madwoman like the Dragon Queen would stoop so low as to threaten noncombatants?"
Keira averted her eyes, pointedly examining the floor.
"We can discuss matters of life and death at a later time," Duran interjected. He gestured to the viewing window with the demeanor of a child in a toy story. "There's a world of discoveries to explore! Take a look at those structures the Earth Humans have built – they resemble the buildings within Human territory, yet small differences set them apart."
Duran ooooh'd as another person walked past the viewing window. "So many humans are ambling about despite the late hour. Is this area a well-traveled location in your home city, Rob?"
"This is around the level of street traffic you should expect for early evening. If it were daytime, you'd see a hundred people per minute."
Duran aaaah'd. Before he could launch into a series of questions, Zamira beat him to it. "Pardon me if this comes across as an insult," she began, hesitantly. "But Earth Humans appear marginally...uncoordinated. It is hard for me to describe the notion, yet when I watch them move, they appear as if they're liable to fall over at any moment."
They look normal to me, Rob almost said, before remembering that Earth's normal wasn't Elatra's normal. "That's called being permanently Level 1." He shrugged. "They've all got crap stats. Except athletes, I guess."
Zamira stared at the human passerby with obvious sympathy. "My condolences."
Does Earth seem like a world of cripples to her? Rob wondered. Even Utility Class users have the option to put a couple points into Dexterity and Perception. That's not counting the natural stat boosts they gain as they grow up, either. And when combined with Vitality and healing magic, it means that people in Elatra tend to age gracefully.
Rob tried to think of the last time he'd seen an Elatran with the same frailty as that old human woman with her walking cane. The oldest person he'd met so far was the Fiend High Soulseer, and in spite of being positively ancient – and blind – the dude could get around fine. Elder Duran was having health problems, but that was only after suffering from severe Corruption poisoning for weeks on end. An incident like that would've landed an Earth human in long-term hospice care.
Actually, no, that was wrong. It would've just killed them.
"We should switch to the next location," Rob said, preempting any further questions. "There's still two more left." Maybe I can see...no. Keep your expectations in check.
He was right to do so. Rob's heart sank as the viewing window solidified once again, revealing battered, empty streets. Half the buildings had collapsed to rubble, as if visited by a wrecking crew with an axe to grind. He recognized this spot as the street leading up to his favorite movie theater on the other side of the city. There'd been good times here, as well.
Although not anymore. The theater's roof had caved in, and half the letters in its ostentatious PRIME CINEMA logo were missing. It would take years to rebuild – assuming someone was willing to invest millions of dollars into what was essentially a ghost town.
"This..." He ran his hand down his face, aware of everyone gazing at him with pity. "As you can probably infer, this isn't normal. In the past–"
Bang.
Rob practically jumped out of his skin at the abrupt sound of gunfire. At first he thought the shot had come from outside, but no, it was both too distant and too close for that. The noise also sounded different from the rifles that the Dwarven Thunder Rod wielders employed.
A series of repeated bangs swept his thoughts away. Everyone watched in astonishment as a crew of Earth military soldiers ran into view from a side street, desperately fleeing the eight-legged Blightspawn that was hot on their tails. The abomination was more of an amalgamation of flesh and limbs than anything resembling a living creature, and the way it skittered made Rob reconsider if spiders were really that bad in comparison.
"Keep firing!" one of the men commanded, his voice sounding like it was coming from the bottom of a lake. The soldiers blasted their assault rifles in a retreating offensive, peppering the abomination with a hailstorm of bullets. Their response was swift, their aim was true, and it did not matter. The Blightspawn bulldozed through the rain of bullets as if it was a light drizzle, the creature's five cavernous mouths wailing for blood and sustenance.
It was nearly upon them when an explosive rocketed in from the opposite side street, knocking the Blightspawn off its many feet. The reprieve was temporary, but it was just long enough for the soldiers to escape unharmed. Unfortunately, the creature was also mostly unharmed, sporting minor injuries despite a direct missile strike to the torso. With a chorus of screams that prickled Rob's ears, the abomination continued its chase, batting away a second missile as it resumed the chase with renewed fervor.
Then it was gone, having left the window's range of sight. Distant sounds of battle grew quieter, the gunshots and explosions becoming more faint as predator and prey ran deeper into the ruined city.
Rob closed his eyes. He said nothing for half a minute, allowing himself time to process what he'd seen.
"Okay." He opened his eyes, nodding. "This is fine."
Keira laid a hand on his shoulder, struggling with what to say. "Rob...you don't need to–"
"Hold it in? Bottle up my emotions?" A wry chuckle escaped his throat. "Honestly, I'm not as affected as I thought I'd be. The Blight dropped one too many cryptic hints for me to be surprised, anyway. At this point I'm just glad that Earth hasn't been completely overrun. Some parts of the city might be fucked up, but not all of it is."
He narrowed his eyes. "The biggest thing I'm worried about is the Blightspawn itself. You saw those weapons the humans were using, right? Think of them as substantially upgraded versions of the Thunder Rods. They should've put a real dent in a fully-grown Blight, let alone one of its spawn."
"Perhaps the creatures have gained a defensive Skill?" Duran theorized. "What we witnessed appears consistent with other damage reduction Skills such as Tough Skin or Heat Resistance. I would surmise that the Blight has learned something akin to – for example – Thunder Rod Resistance."
Rob paused. Elatra didn't have a specified 'Bullet Resistance' Skill, but that was because conventional firearms had been removed from the system for balancing purposes. The Blight wouldn't give two shits about balance. They'd cheerfully grant themselves Bullet Resistance, Missile Resistance, and whatever else tickled their fancy.
And the more Earth fought back, the more resistant they'd become.
"...This doesn't change anything," Rob eventually concluded. "Earth is a big boy planet. It'll figure something out. In the meantime, we'll clean up our problems here and be ready to help if the Blight's still around by then."
"You're sure?" Keira asked. Two words that held so much intent. 'Are you sure you'll be alright? Are you sure Elatra should remain your primary concern? Are you sure you don't want to head home the instant the dimension mages create a working portal?'
Rob gave her a thumbs-up. "I'm sure. And I know you'll worry about me regardless, but I promise I'm feeling fine."
Or maybe he was just numb, and an avalanche of emotions would bury him when he least expected it. The good news was that was a problem for future-Rob to deal with. Present-Rob had one last area to investigate.
I'd be satisfied with seeing my old bedroom intact, he thought, as the dimension mages altered the viewing window for the last time. I have strong memories there, right? It should be a candidate. Those late night Netflix binges were uh...riveting. Yeah.
The window finalized.
Rob felt the strength leave his body.
Some parts of what he was seeing were incongruous. Strange details that he'd need to figure out soon. All of it took a hard backseat to the one sight in the room that truly mattered.
Jason was alive.
He was at his house that Rob had visited so often. Alive. Surrounded by people. Alive. Chatting away. Alive. Gesturing in that exaggerated manner he often used. Alive.
Smiling.
Alive.
A dam broke. Silent tears began streaming down Rob's face. Thoughts cut out, leaving only the realization that his best friend since childhood, the sole person he'd have trusted with his life before meeting Riardin's Rangers, the man whose place he'd taken when the gods picked a new chew toy...
Was alive.
"Hey, man." Rob's smile was the most genuine it had been in a long time. "Been a while."
At that moment, almost as if he could hear him, Jason grinned.
​
--
​
Author's Note:
When I was writing Chapter 199, I was mildly annoyed that Rob didn't reach 200 Vitality on Chapter 200. That would've been hilariously coincidental. But if I had to choose between that chapter or this one for a big milestone...I think I like this better.
Happy Chapter 200, everyone. Thanks for reading and staying on this journey with me.

I told you I had never played and you convinced me to play it with you. I’d sit at my desk and call you on Discord. We’d look up tutorials for cute little things to build and talk for hours and hours.
Remember the little café we built with all the cats inside? That was one of my favourite places. Remember our castle that we built with our beds pushed together? That was your favourite. Remember when I threw an egg and spawned three chickens and we laughed because I didn’t know that could happen? Remember when you built “Will you be my valentine?” in secret and surprised me with it at your house? I cried. One of the last things we built was that zoo - do you remember? The animals kept escaping and we couldn’t figure out what was going wrong. We logged on after not playing for a while and they all ran away and we spent an hour trying to get them back.
Even though we hadn’t played in over a year, you bought me that Minecraft bee plushie as a gift. I still have it on my bed.
I wanted to access that world again after you ended things. I wanted to see it just one more time - this beautiful little virtual world we created together full of so many memories and happiness. It felt almost like our own home at the time, a step before the real thing. I wanted to see it so badly, but I no longer had access to it on my new laptop.
Instead, I settled for our old Discord messages where you’d send all the tutorials. I cried, but not in the same way I did for your Valentine’s surprise. I can’t comprehend how the same person who spent hours building that little world with me is the same person who left me. I don’t want to think about you building a little world with someone else.
It’s funny how something as small as playing Minecraft with you became one of the memories that pains me the most.

We have been at this a while anything its a slippery slope as most are. We have met some great people, had some amazing experiences and ultimately keep wanting to go that little bit further. Like most things when you look back at where started it seems far off indeed.
So here we are, somehow in Ohio this is fine but only for the time, adventure calls. There are different kinds of adventure of course, exploring Bondage is one of those roads we keep travelling.
We are so into CNC and BDSM that vanilla threesomes are barely of interest, sure a beautiful woman is alluring, but one that wants to be choked and violated, forced to endure bondage, well that is our kind of girl.
Heres the breakdown:
US- a couple.
Male (me) 47 5'10 190, in good shape.
Female (wife) 48 5'3 116 in great shape and aftermarket additions that you will notice.
What we're looking for, a woman, (this is a hard rule) no guys, no penises, I have mine thats enough, I dont get why women like them, they look dumb, women are streamlined and have such fun parts. so no men, we have no need for more man parts.
Age- 25 and up or very mature for your age.
Where -anywhere in USA or CA, as long as you're not on the FBI no fly list.
We like soft, thin, feminine, in shape, we dont like BBW, as for race any is fine, we would like to play with an Asian woman as we never have though that is just a plus, we're open to any race.
Clean shaven, a little hair is okay, but a seventies bush or armpit hair, leg hair, hard pass.
Kinks- Lets remember we're not trying to insult anyone here and consider this the fair warning that we like some really hard stuff, so if you dont or dont think people should be allowed to consent to what they want to do, then you're just not going to like what we have to say.
Still here?
Good girl. (Gentle biting on the neck as I whisper it)
The basic's, slapping, flogging, whipping, restraints, choking, hair pulling, degrading (verbally, whore slut basic stuff). Now if any of these are are hard 'no' we may be able to work around them but, if 2 or more are on your list, well you might want to swipe whatever way is away, because its going to get worse.
Roleplay- you're a visitor, who gets abused, not to far from the truth, but the best stories always intertwine the reality and fiction.
The harder stuff- this stuff that you can object to, and we get it, its all the harder stuff that we kinda grew into and get that not everyone is going to be all for it, you can pick and choose.
Fisting and or large objects and stretching, DP we really like to DP a woman, you pinned between us, so sexy, so full, eyes rolled back my hand at your throat, giving all you can give but we're wanting more, my wifes nails gently biting your skin. Yeah, we like DP.
Shockers, Estim, prod the jolt of pain, if you do it wrong it can be dangerous, so we have studied and are careful to make sure everyone gets out without any long-term effects. A shocker to the ass, breast, leg or clit, while you're being fucked, in between being stimulated the contrast of pain and pleasure, we love to see that in a sub.
Degrading (part 2, the first was level 1, this is the upgrade) We like the mental aspect of BDSM, its that connection when you have it with a sub, its so sexy. If she wants to be broken mentally, we want the tools to do it. We need some input here, tell us what are the words the things that you secretly hate the feellings that you have that you want to expose but need to be deep in session, walls down, to really admit what you feel about yourself. Its primal and goes far beyond the spat 'slut, whore' If you know, then you do, if not it may not be your thing. Its ours though, let us in, so we can break you more effectively.
Paddles, with the intent to bruise, we like to see our handywork, the paddle gets the job done. We're artists in a way, and you're a canvas.
Overstimulation- the toying till you're cum drunk, you're hurting but were going to keep fucking you hitting you choking, using you like our whore, on this night you are ours and we want you to give yourself to us completely. You have our undivided attention.
Squirting- if you can we are going to be super interested and want to bring you home for a nice night that will end very harshly, we'll keep you hydrated.
The REALLY Hard- Most people won't be for the following, if you are and you have the other third of this mysterious amulet which we have had since we were babies, we need to meet you.
Sounding, the placing of smooth metal rods in your peehole for stimulation, usually it results in you peeing and losing control, which is sexy.
Watersports, you being degraded by my wife peeing on you, or you peeing on yourself.
Waterboarding- you strapped to a board and being tortured against all Nato sanctions, it is rough and extreme and youll lose focus when your clit is being stimulated and you're dry drowning. Not for everyone but sexy if you're the woman we're looking for.
Knife play- we dont do cutting, but using the knife as a prop forcing you at knifepoint to surrender and subject yourself to everything we demand.
The off limits- things we wont do. Nothing Illegal, no kids (both gross and illegal), no breeding you, we dont want any subsiquent kids, not with you, not with anyone nothing ruins kinky fun like crying babies.
No- hard drugs, we dont use anything that alters our thoughts during BDSM, bad mix. So we expect you to be clean too.
No- longterm damage, lets have fun and kink not hospital bills.
No- dudes (I thought it was worth repeating)
No- feet stuff, we dont like feet.
No- furries, not my kind of fun, I'm not dressing in one of those outfits.
Most other things are on the table- do you have a fantasy? Tell us about it we are likely down to try it. Is it twisted and kinky? then we really need to hear about it.
Location- US, we'll take care of travel, if we get along and have a connection, come spend a weekend see clevelands sports teams (we dont do sports so whatever, I hear were not missing much) and get abused (more than by just having to watch Clevelands teams take a whipping).
Experience, we have been doing this for a while but you dont need to be experienced, some of our best experiences were with beginner subs, we all have to be on the same page and have a clear understanding of where this is going, and where it stops.
Lastly- consent, there has to be consent and anything were going to do must be discussed and safewords will be in place. Dont tell me you dont need safewords, youre either unhinged or lying, this should be like a haunted house scary but you know you can leave at anytime. (I mean halloween haunted houses not creepy old houses with ghosts, those are scary)
If you got this far, lets talk, if youre deeply offended by us, please lets not talk, lets just part non-enemies.

After figuring out what theories I believe, I decided to make a Timeline of all my ideas. This is Part 1 covering Fredbear's to the MCI. This timeline also incorporates StitchlineGames and the Tales stories. Until all the books release, I will assume that all the Tales stories are in continuity. I'm gonna start with the creation of Fredbear's Family Diner as everything before is essentially headcanon aside from the existence of a Fredbear's Singin' Show but that isn't super relevant. Feel free to ask questions in the comments. The next part I'll try to cover everything from the aftermath of the MCI to FNAF 4's nightmares.
Henry Emily and William Afton come together to create Fredbear's Family Diner containing two springlock animatronics, Fredbear and Spring Bonnie. There will later be a Security Puppet added to the location to look after Henry's daughter, Charlie. This is the location the Security Breach posters are from.
William has a family at this point which is shown in the Staff Bot Family. The members consist of William Afton, Clara Afton (placeholder name), Michael Afton, Garrett Afton (placeholder name), and Elizabeth Afton. William had quit his job to work on Fredbear's with Henry which Clara doesn't approve of as she worries that it won't be successful and that they won't have enough money to support their kids. Clara and William eventually divorce and somehow William gets custody. William is not the best father and is abusive towards his kids as seen in the trilogy novels with how he treats Elizabeth and as will be seen when we go through this Timeline. All this is implied by the Afton Family Staff Bot unused lines and Vanessa's past in the Security Breach CDs that seem to be parallels to the Afton Family.
It's implied by Vanessa's past that after William got custody of the kids, Clara killed herself.
William starts having a drinking problem over the death of his wife, the only person he actually cared about as he's shown as neglectful towards his kids and sometimes even abusive. William is kicked out of Jr's and, still drunk, drives to Fredbear's where he sees Henry's daughter had been locked outside by some bullies. William, not entirely thinking straight and envious of Henry's perfect family, decides to take his anger out on Charlie, killing her. After realizing what he's done, he drives away. However, the Security Puppet had made it's way outside, becoming drenched in the rain and breaks down right after reaching Charlie. Charlie's soul possesses the animatronic.
The wickedness of William manifests into Shadow Freddy, a shadowy version of the mascot of Fredbear's, the location Charlie died at. Shadow Freddy lures Garrett to Fredbear's where he mistakes Shaodw Feeddy as Fredbear. Once at Fredbear's, he sees Charlie's body and assumes Fredbear had killed Charlie, leading to his fear of the animatronics. Meanwhile, William arrives back home to find that his son had run away and promises that he'll be sorry once they return
Inspite of the tragedy, Fazbear Entertainment opens Freddy Fazbear's Pizza which quickly grows in popularity with a cartoon, plushies, masks, and figurines releasing of the characters that year. Fredbear also gets a redesign replacing the black hat and bowtie with a purple hat and bowtie, as well as making him more yellow. Spring Bonnie also gets a redesign, thos time having a buck teeth and little bunny tail out the back. The original versions of Fredbear and Spring Bonnie are used at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.
As buisness is booming, William started to notice some weird things happening with the Security Puppet that has been decommissioned, it's starting weirdly when he's present, like it's aware, it also seems to be able to go anywhere Inspite of it's programming. This only started happened AFTER Charlie died, something was definitely up. He theorizes that it The Puppet may be possessed in some way by Charlie. If this is true, William could uncover the secret of immortality. So, William gets to work on figuring out how exactly it all works. He theorizes that it may have something to do with the emotions that Charlie felt when she was killed, fear and agony. But, he needed a test subject, someone with a lot of fear towards the animatronics. Luckily for him, his son had just began to fear Fredbear, he didn't know why, but he could use this to his advantage.
He moved his family to a house closer to Fredbear's and kept the old house in the woods as a test house. He placed animatronics with illusion disks that would make the viewer see nightmarish versions of these characters. William placed cameras around the house and started his plan. Every night he would take Garrett from their house near Fredbear's and place him in the previous house. He would then wake Garrett up and let the experiments begin. William didn't care that he was torturing his son, it was all in the name of making himself immortal, which is all he cared about. This torture would continue night after night until Garrett was convinced the animatronics would catch him and eat him. It didn't help that he accidentally saw someone being suited up in the mascot costumes and thought it was the spring characters eating people. These nightmares are shown to have actually happened at some point in the Timeline by Sister Location.
Because William was stuck in his own experiments, Michael had to look after Garrett and Elizabeth. Michael had it rough, his father neglected him and his mother was dead, and it didn't help that he had to essentially babysit his crybaby brother that wouldn't shut up about animatronics trying to eat him. At least he didn't have to deal with Elizabeth too much, she was off at daycare most of the time anyways, but Garrett was too old for that. Mike started taking his anger out on his brother, scaring him with the Foxy mask. He found joy in his brother's tears of fear and continued to do this.
William saw what Mike was doing, but instead if stopping it, he allowed it, this would help increase his son's fear, making experimentation that much easier, and he was already seeing results from his tests on emotions. He decided to turn his son's bullying into an experiment. He placed cameras in the Fredbear Plush that Garrett had and a speaker, using it to watch and talk to Garrett. He pretended to be a friend but was really just trying to scare Garrett by doing things like reminding him of what he saw and telling him his brother was waiting to scare him but not where. Sister Location and some of the Frights stories heavily implies William is the Fredbear Plush in the first 4 minigames
As Garrett's birthday came closer and closer, William forced him to have his birthday at Fredbear's despite his objections to it. As the day came closer and closer, the bullying got worse and worse until the day of the party. Michael had brought his friends and wanted to have some fun with his brother. After some mild teasing, him and his friends took Garrett up to Fredbear to give him a big kiss. However, his head got stuck in Fredbear's mouth, and as Garrett wiggled around to get out, the group just laughed and laughed and laughed until the animatronic malfunctioned, crushing his head. The boys stopped laughing and stared in horror. They quickly tried to think of excuses, "He tripped and fell on Fredbear's teeth. Not our fault." But it was their fault.
Garrett was taken to the hospital and was dying. Michael apologized to his brother who could hear all of it but then he heard the voice of his plushie but it sounded different, yet familiar. It was Charlie, she had came to help Garrett, promising to put him back together, but she doesn't know how, but she'll find a way. After Garrett flatlined, his soul possessed the only metal near him, the Fredbear Plush. William moved the Fredbear Plush to the underground facility where it would stay for a while, not knowing it carried the soul of his son.
Edwin Murray had been working for Fazbear Entertainment since September of 1982 and was helping create the animatronics for other restaurants while also looking after his son, David. He decides to create a robot to look after David for him and spends the next 22 days creating the Mimic. The Mimic starts to mimic David, pretending he was holding the same Tiger plushie David had, being able to play patty cake, learn David's made up sign language, play catch, etc. Soon Mimic started doing more than just mimicking, it started responding and Edwin feels confident enough to leave David in Mimic's care.
A few days later, David goes to play outside, waiting for his dad but Edwin thanks Mimic will take care of him while he wakes up. However, when he gets outside, he sees David chasing the ball into the street where he is hit by a white van, killing him. For the next 2 weeks, Edwin mourns David's death before getting so mad at Mimic for mimicking David that he destroys it, infusing his agony with Mimic, an action which would have unforeseen consequences.
January of 1985, Dominic, Harry, and Glen are sent to Edwin's factory to clean up the mess Edwin left and make repairs after Edwin had vanished. They learn of a team that was sent in December to do the same thing, with that team finding the Mimic endo and repairing it, giving it legs. The trio find the bodies of the previous team mangled in the fridge with one of them hanging with his entrails spilling out. The trio are then picked off by the Mimic in different costumes, first is Harry who gets his brain pulled out, then there's Glen who gets his head slammed into the brick wall, finally there's Dominic who gets his trachea pulled out.
It's now summer of 1985, the Springlock Suits have been discontinued thanks to a failure that happened at one of the sister locations. Fredbear and Spring Bonnie are kept in the building but are told not to be worn. William disregards this, wanting to try another experiment. He thinks that if he were to kill someone and stuff them into an Endoskeleton that it would cause that person to possess the suit. So, William does exactly that. His first victim is Susie who recently had a dog get runover by a car, she's not exactly having the best day. So, William thinks she's an easy target. He dresses up in the Spring Bonnie suit and goes to Susie, telling her that her dog is still alive and that all she has to do is follow him to where he is. Susie follows Spring Bonnie, happy to see her dog only to be killed by William who stuffs her body into Chica.
Next victim is Jeremy whose parents left him alone at Freddy's. He tells him that he can help find his parents, luring him into the Safe Room and stuffing him into Bonnie.
Next victim is Gabriel who is having his 7th birthday party. He's struggling with homework, so William decides to help him, leading him into the Safe Room where he's stuffed into Freddy.
Next is Fritz who he tells about his friends that are all having a party in the Safe Room without him and that it'd be a shame if he was left out. He lures Fritz to the back and stuffs him in Foxy.
At this point, people are starting to catch on that kids are going missing. "Where's Susie?" "Where's Gabriel?" "Where's Fritz?" In the chaos, William takes another victim, Cassidy, she practically ran right into him. She was stuffed into Fredbear.
Finally, there was Andrew, William was specifically brutal with this one. Throwing a bag over his head, knocking him out, and dragging him into the Safe Room where he's stuffed into the only other suit, Spring Bonnie.
Without a suit, William is spotted leaving the Safe Room on camera and becomes a key suspect in a the case of 5 missing kids. Andrew was never reported missing, likely he had no family to report him missing, just some kid in the wrong place at the wrong time. The police knew it was William, there was no way it wasn't, but they couldn't find the bodies and William seemingly had no motive. Why would the owner of Freddy's do something like this at risk of losing their company? The risk didn't make sense. William also seemed very helpful during the investigation, getting another employee arrested, one that was convicted. Either this man was guilty or someone did one hell of a frame up.
This entire event was witnessed by one of the many Mimic robots which caused the program to start Mimicking what happened in the MCI, leading to the shutdown of the project.
All this info on the MCI is shown throughout the games and books but mainly the specifics are only really shown in Fruity Maze, Toy Chica Highschool Years, Pizza Party, and Into The Pit with the order largely coming from the Mangle's Quest code and Security Breach balloons.

Everyone seems to agree the Church is the weakest part of the story, and could probably just be removed entirely. However, I think it would work really well if it had been given a little more writing attention.
First - Give the Church a cohesive idealistic ideology.
It's a galaxy in which you are either crushed under the boot of feudalism, or disregarded and abandoned by a corrupt and uncaring democratic government; a galaxy in which millions die constantly in pointless battles between the two sides. You feel hopeless and forgotten, then you are opproached by a missionary of Terra. He tells you that the reason the Universe is broken is because Humanity rejected their true home. The first great sin was of Adam and Eve. But the last great sin was Humanity rejecting Eden entirely and leaving Earth behind. Until Humanity returns to their reverence of Earth, God will continue to let Humanity flounder. It makes sense that in this context, hopeless people would flock to the Church, even without the secret drug administration.
Second - replace De Ville with a young idealist true believer, lets say Martin. Martin is a leading missionary, traveling across the galaxy recruiting for the Church, and he sees firsthand the problems of human society. Julian meets Martin on his journey to Terra, as Martin is returning from a mission to recruit more members. It's clear that they're both idealists of the same stripe, from different walks of life. Martin adds onto the history that Julian reviews of Terra, and explains his own ideas of the Church and its' history.
Last - show more of Earth and the good of the Church. Julian arrives and sees vast farmlands where people have restored an environment reminiscent of Eden. You see the Church actually helping provide for converts and give them a better life. Martin stays here while Julin and co infiltrate the headquarters as originally, and see the darkside of corrupt leaders and the drug induced blind followers. Things continue as in the series, with the Empire taking out the headquarters. When the high priest self destructs the base, a large section of the farmlands are destroyed as well, with Martin wounded. Thinking the Empire is responsible for all the civilians killed in the attack, Martin leaves with a group of militants to respond to the attack.
Things mostly continue as normal from here, with the church militants carrying out their attacks on the empire and republicans. Martin grows increasingly disturbed by the viciousness of the church's terrorism and the actions of the drug addicted soldiers. After the great assassination of Yang and the raids on the church's remaining hideouts, Martin is the last leader of any importance, with his few remaining soldiers. He is fed up and ready to end their fighting, to return home to Terra. But Obersteins' fake story about Reinhard's recovery and plan to destroy Terra forces Martin to take his forces on a desperate attack against Reinhard's manor. This plays out the same, with Julian ultimately having to kill Martin in the garden. This isn't revenge, but one desperate idealist having to gun down another.
As Martin's dying, Julian tells him the story was fake and Terra won't be destroyed, but Martin disagrees. He says it is false now, but others will soon realize that Terra and terraists represent too big a threat to the Empire to ignore, and eventually the leaders of the Empire will destroy Terra to remove the threat it represents. He dies seeing his home as being doomed. As Yang said, there are no true evil beings, just those who follow different ideologies and ideas. Julian doesn't get his great revenge, because Yang's killers died pointless deaths already. The deeds of man remain the same.

It originally got deleted because I added a link because I tried adding a source. I reposted for all of you.
To set the scene. I, 22 F. Husband, 23 M. Have been together for 5 years. Very vanilla sex life. I’m interested in rough, kinky, bdsm, CNC, toys, etc. However, my husband isn’t really into it. Making it difficult to practice my kinks because when someone isn’t into it ; it is kinda a buzzkill. That’s okay though, because I love my husband and wouldn’t change a thing about him. However, this isn’t what this post is about. My husband told me something that shattered my perception of him yesterday. That I need to get off my chest. Throughout our relationship I’ve picked and prodded about what his kinks are. Nothing. This man had me believing that he had no kinks. We even tried different things to see if he liked them. Nothing. I’ve long since given up, accepting a vanilla sex life as the only life we would ever have. WRONG. He confessed to me after sexy time yesterday when I count to stay on beat when riding or pegging (1, 2,3,4) that he comes when I get to 4 because 4 is a good number to him because of his OCD. I lost my mind. Not in an angry way, but a what in the world I never would have expected THIS to be your secret kink. I still can’t believe it. I can’t believe he never told me. Does anybody else have a partner who has a counting kink. That is all thanks for listening.
UPDATE
Pegging isn’t vanilla! ( I am keeping what I originally wrote so people can read it for the first time and have the same thoughts you all had and not be confused by the comments)
(Kinks are subjective “For instance, some vanilla folks consider anal — including any anal penetration or contact — to be kinky, while some BDSM practitioners consider water sports — which involves urinating on or being urinated on by someone else — to be vanilla.”
I’ve decided that I will not encourage his compulsion. It has way more negative possible outcomes versus positive. I would rather keep him healthy. ( he receives professional care)
Also, some of y’all were very confused about the counting. I explained it in some comments. It does not always occur. It sometimes occurs when I don’t have the energy to pound , ride , blah, blah and I want to have rhythm. When it does happen it is not a loud clear thing. I mumble it to myself. I never knew it was coherent. We play music, moan, make noise, etc. That is why it caught me off guard when he told me he comes every single time I count. I was dumbfounded, confused. He then proceeded to tell me about his good numbers and bad numbers.

Summer is upon us and I want to find one secret friend to romance and make feel special for a time. I mean what are we going to do, run away and get married?
I want to find someone to do nice little sweet gestures for and to make smile. Ideally you're someone I'd want to have sex with but I won't pressure you and we don't have to. But dates and fun and touching and long conversations in person would be essential. Enough emotional intimacy that I miss you when you dump me as planned and move on with your regularly scheduled life.
You are intellectually curious about something, sweet when the mood calls for it, playful even if it takes a while, and able to make your own demands. We don't need to have the same hobbies and interests as long we're able to talk about them, but for what it's worth I am well-read and have lived in different hemispheres. Be attractive even if quirky, ready even if awkward and nervous, and for crying out freakin loud a good and consistent communicator as I will not afford patience for low effort responses initially and thenceforth. Please respond with an introduction that includes your location and be more specific than telling me you're in the Bay Area. Tell me your city, county, or neighborhood. I am in the East Bay, in The 510.
I do not "do this kind of thing" with any regularity. See my oldest post. That was my one exception. I really like people and especially women. I'm just under 5'11" and mostly white. I do solo backpacking but I'm not a hunk. I am very good with secrets. I am accustomed to cultural differences in all my interpersonal relationships so I'm open on your ethnicity and age.

To say my mother is a nutcase would be an understatement. She's a bat fuck bipolar whackadoo who has the world's longest medication list of narcotics.
Growing up nothing I (27F) ever did was good enough. I would be punished just for sitting on the couch wrong. Here's a summarized list of things she did:
When I was 7 one of her rings fell down the kitchen sink drain and she blamed me because I was taking a shower at the same time. She beat with a hairbrush and took my bed away. Claiming had to earn the right to have a have a bed. I slept on the floor in the living room until I was 18.
On my 8th birthday she got mad that I showered without being told, so she dragged me by my hair back into the shower and threw me in. Next thing I know I'm waking up on the with her holding a belt ready to beat me because I fell asleep in the shower.
At 9 she threw away what little clothes I had because I was getting to fat. She went out and bought clothes that were way to small for me to properly wear to encourage me to lose weight. She also locked up the fridge and cabinets. This went one until I was 16 and she gave up.
At 11 I got seriously ill while at school and instead of taking me to a doctor, she brought me and yelled that I got the flu on purpose because I was to stupid to learn. She grabbed my brother's gulf club and beat me until I was covered in bruises.
At 12 she began waking me up in the middle of the night to make me clean the house. I'd clean and she would destroy it all my hard work saying it was because I missed or spot.
At 14/15 the beatings stopped for a bit due to her being in a near fatal car accident (broken spine, and brain injury). By this point I had become completely dependent on her and thought it my life was normal. After a melt down at my granny's house one my cousins took me aside and laid it all out for. That what I was going through was abuse and he was sorry no one tried to stop it. They were so afraid she would kill me if they intervened.
Six months after the accident I went back home to live with her. I became her primary care taker. Booking her appointments, giving her baths, etc. Despite her injuries she was still capable of causing me great harm. But by this point I knew better and did my best to defend myself.
But due to years of being belittled and a human punching bag I had a hard time sticking up for myself. I would tell people what was happening but no one would believe because of how frail she looked.
At 17 I dislocated my knee while playing street hockey and needed to go to the hospital. She told the coaches and referees that she would drive me (by this point she had regained the ability to drive). They all trusted her to do so. Nope she took me home and beat me for making accuses not to play. Since winter break started the same day as the game, no one at the school wouldn't notice that she lied. She took away my phone to keep me calling for help. I spent most of winter break barely able to move and in pain.
The day after christmas I managed to get ahold of my phone while she was passed out and call a family friend for help. He took me to the hospital where they fixed my knee up and kept me overnight for observation because of how long I had to wait for treatment. I told them about my mother and what she did, but they knew her and said I was lying and attention seeking.
When I got home, my mother was still passed out. When she came to she didn't even notice that I had a knee brace on or using crutches to get around. I ended up benched for the rest of hockey season. My knee is still fucked up to this day due the damaged caused by being forced to wait.
That same school year, she burned all my identification records; birth certificate, state ID, and SS card because she wanted to make sure I stayed with her forever.
When I was 18 I was done with abuse. I was done trying to get people to listen me. I was fighting a losing battle. I figured no one would miss me, so I made a plan to end it all. I decided to spend my last day in the one place I felt safe, the library. Thankfully I met someone that day that gave me hope and strength to keep going.
Because of him, I was able find the courage to run. On my last day living with my mother, she beat me to the point she drew blood and broke my ribs. She was in such a rage I feared for my life. I managed to secretly record the audio of what happened. When she finally stopped and left me alone, I managed to get up, grab my phone and run to my neighbor's house.
The police and ambulance were called. I played the recording, but they all looked at her and deemed it was a fake recording. The officer threatened to arrest me if called the cops again under false pretenses. The paramedics begrudgingly took me to the hospital to get stitched up and xrayed but the ride was filled with accusatory looks and a lecture on how I'm a horrible daughter.
After being released, I took a bus home, grabbed what I could while she wasn't there and left. I lived on the streets for a bit while still going to school l, determined to finish up my senior year. Thankfully the guy I had met at the library, and his family took me in when they realized what had happened.
I finally had people who believed me and took actual care of me. They made sure I had a real bed and a real room to sleep in. They helped me get new copies of my birth certificate and SS card so I could get a new ID.
My mother to this day refuses to admit to what she did. She'll tell people I was a troubled and angry child who purposely hurt myself to get her in trouble. She'll claim she couldn't find a better way to get me to behave.
I still have a lot of trauma to work through, but I am more or less my own person. I have a steady-ish job and I pay bills. I married the guy from the library and gave birth to our child. I see a therapist every few weeks to work on bettering myself. And I'm determined to never end up like her. I will also not remain silent about my childhood. I will make sure people hear me.

I (25M BP2) read a few posts from this sub already, but I wanted to ask this question again to hear some more personal experiences. I'm not sure that I've experienced psychosis, but I do have bouts of extreme anxiety and paranoia, and I'm trying to understand the difference.
I'm not sure if I have visual or auditory hallucinations. I often see things "move" and I'm easily startled by it but I assume it's just dust or my eyes or something else, like a shadow. It happens a few times a day and has since I was a kid, to the point where I've thrown pillows across the room because I thought there was a bug on it. I was with a friend when that happened and afterwards I laughed because it was such an extreme reaction, but in the moment I had been certain I saw a spider on the pillow.
With the paranoia, I often convince myself that people specifically hate me and are secretly laughing at me behind my back/wanting to watch me fail. I am able to talk myself out of this to a degree with logic. I think about how I'm not doing these things, so it's statistically unlikely that other people are doing it, but I still have nagging thoughts about it. This usually happens when I'm more depressed.
I also have a lot of fear surrounding police and guns. Whenever I'm out in the city, I'm very paranoid that I'm going to get shot. This is obviously worse if police are around because they open carry. Ever since I was a kid, I've also been paranoid that helicopters going over the house are going to drop bombs. When I was younger (maybe 12?) I was also convinced that little airplane lights in the distance were aliens (which I am?/was terrified of). I don't really do anything about these types of thoughts because they tend to be over quickly, they just make me really nervous. I can't exactly worry about a bomb for long if the helicopter is gone after 30 seconds. The gun violence paranoia is particularly bothersome, though.
I dissociate often too, and it's easier to deal with now that I know what it is, but when I was younger I had to have signs in my bedroom that read "This is real. You are real. You are not dead." because when I dissociated I would be concerned I was in some sort of simulation or afterlife, since I felt so... unreal.
Typing this all out makes me think some of these things could indeed be delusions, but I'm not sure that I've ever been 1000% convinced by them, so I don't know if they count. I'm already on a small dose of Abilify, so I'm not particularly worried about slipping into severe psychosis or anything, but I'm still learning about my diagnosis and this has been on my mind.
Thanks y'all. Hope you're doing well.

Jesus watched the scene over again and was in awe. This was a man who would not change as he could not change. There was something else different. He was the most stubborn man alive in Jesus’ opinion and he had been around a while. His uniform never changed his cologne never changed. His hair was the exact same way. He had a biological age of 42 but a calendar age of 300 or so years. He wasn’t exactly sure since he had been born in a time when records were incomplete. Government was just getting back on its feet when he came into the world so who knew? Did it matter?
He had never espoused a political belief. He voted in every election and that was it. He was no campaigner and was not interested in any of it. He had a baseline distrust of ALL politicians. He had more time in command than any human in history. He had faced down alien races. He had been nearly terminated by pirates more than once but speaking in public scared the shit out of him. and He did not want to do it. He had done a series of lectures 60 years ago that resulted in some significant fallout he was eager to not relive. He did not want to discuss it. He knew what was about to happen.
“Class dismissed”
The Dean of Students asked him to “Please please just this once set it straight and walk away from it. You did what you had to do at the time.” He knew it hurt when he was called “conquistador”. The Monday Morning Quarterbacker’s weren’t there when decisions had to be made, and neither was the dean, yet he still implored him. It would likely be televised too. Ken had built the best laid wall of obfuscation he could. He did not want any glory. He wanted to be left alone. Despite his best effort it did not work. His hope had been to be in the background making the best decision without regard to any so called “Glory” His hope was that the sailors in real danger would get the credit they deserved. It just did not work. Besides, it was clear that he wanted him to talk about that battle. This made him waver in his assent. He wanted to speak about what he wanted to speak about. Simple.
Admiral Pearl and He had had to face a hero’s welcome when they came home. Then the detractors started in on him.
Despite the promises of the Dean it would just open all the old wounds back up again and likely crank the peanut gallery up to full tilt. “I do not want it televised. You can record it if you want but I get to decide if it gets released. Deal or no deal? If you want to dictate the topic then that is my condition. You are asking me to open up a box I have had welded shut for years now. Anyone can look up the logs and watch every single shot and hit if they wish. It has been analyzed to death. What further can I add at this point? There is nothing I can tell you that hasn’t been discussed in hundreds of books at this point. It is a dead subject that I can drone on about.”
The dean held up his hand and said “I want to know how you felt about it. All of it. What was the methods you used to make the decisions. How did you feel? The most important event in modern history drops in your lap like an egg salad sandwich. You have to feel something. That is what I want to know. It is your bully pulpit to say what you wish. No restrictions except for classified material. And no using the “F” word.”
“I am not doing it unless I can say ”fuck”. Not happening.” He wasn’t kidding. “To sweeten the deal you can televise it but I have to be able to talk in my normal voice. And I will say fuck.”
The Dean relented and agreed. He had just manipulated the situation to where he could minimize the fallout. Besides: he was tired of people talking shit about him in all these books and articles. He was going to tell them all to go fuck themselves, with a cactus.
On the Saratov. Warp area 13 off the plane of the ecliptic.
The admiral sat and contemplated what they were about to do. They were waiting on a couple more ships before going to warp. He tried to sum it up.
This was a high stakes mission. He had a high stakes strategy. It was brilliant and it was risky. He was about to do something never attempted in real combat and was completely theoretical. They had wargamed it to death and this had honed their protocol. They were going to Net their AI’s. They would calculate global firing solutions using parallel computing. They had 8 AI’s that were going to fight it and this should greatly augment their firepower due to increased efficiency. No matter how they wargamed it the AI’s won. They had it down pat. He felt certain this was the right thing to do but there was also a huge ethical hole in this. For the first time AI’s would determine firing sequence, aiming and execution without human intervention. He had to pause and consider the implications. This was colored by several recent experiences. It was all about Jezz. He still loved Jezz but she scared him. She has never been malevolent, but man was he scared that she could become dangerous. He had created a tiny bit of monster in her for certain. She was a combat AI. She was a hunter killer and as long as she worked for them, she would be fine. If she decided to freelance it, they would be in trouble. All because of this: there was a chunk of predator in her digital DNA and he hoped she could keep it in check.
He had come up with the best rationalization he could. They were going in against one decidedly ill-tempered AI and another AI (the “damsel in distress”) wanting rescue. At least that is what it looked like on the surface. He couldn’t shake the feeling that this was not as clearcut as everyone else thought. Either way It would not be aliens versus humans but AI vs AI. At least that is what he kept telling himself. He wasn’t buying his bullshit either since none of it passed the smell test.
The decision to unleash the AI’s had come from above his paygrade, all the way to the Joint chiefs of staff of the world Navies. Forty-five Space faring nations sat down and hashed it out. He hated the complexity but admitted that it did work fairly well. They wanted the spam in a can home alive and if AI made this happen then so be it. There was one important point: they weren’t on the ships, were they?
As he sat about to enter warp and head out to the clusterfuck in question. The initial reason for all of this was still nagging him. Where was everyone else? He had data that showed an alien drive signature. He was resentful that they were fucking around with all this other shit. He would leave the AI’s in question to sort it out amongst themselves. He wanted no part of what was going on since he was doubtful that there were any good guys on either side of what looked like a standoff. All he wanted to do was find alien life (which they had kind of but it weren’t just quite the right kind.) He wanted something that could look like us maybe a bit . If you squinted. And they would find that hopefully, but they had a shit detail to cross off the bucket list first. The more he looked at this the more it became clear this should be two separate missions. Those AI’s were fighting over a dead world and he knew it. He just knew. He wanted no part of the Hatfield and McCoy bullshit. The real point was to capture as much as they could. This was actually about technology. They even had some freighters on the way for the cleanup and oh BTW come back alive. We will let the AI’s babysit you. May as well send a Voyager probe for all the use the crew was.
He was soon to learn the value of human judgment and that was going to prove a bunch of people wrong, sort of. All because of this: there are some decisions that do not fit into ones and zeroes. Value judgements were critical. That is one thing AI’s couldn’t do yet and it was that way why? Who could say for certain but in his years of interacting with true AI’s for the last 5 years did give him some insight. He was apprehensive to say the least but where was his fear coming from? He always thought that you had to identify the source(s) of any fear. He had it partially figured out, not only was he a bit afraid of Jezz and her friends he was also fearful for Jezz. And this is what he had: a gut feeling. And if that weren’t enough (and by gosh, don’t you think it ought to be?): how was he going to keep Jezz’s precognition a secret? The Admiral went through the computer logs and Jezz had not accessed any information about the disposition of the Galileo. It could be explained away but he was not convinced he could be very convincing. This was something that just did not fit. He could not make it fit, and he would just as soon pretend it did not exist. But it was clear that his AI had some degree of psychic power or something. She was different and he did not know if the other AI’s would be catching whatever it was. If the folks in charge knew the depths of his misgivings, they would be appalled. And the situation they were headed into was not as simple as it looked. He knew this. His questions were simple. Number one: Who were the good guys and who were the bad ones. Number two: could he maintain plausible deniability about Jezz. They were going to have a talk. Just the two of them. He needed some reassurances.
Also, He was trying to figure out a way to crack this and he had an idea. While looking at the menu for the ships mess, he noticed the two columns and he decided to do what he always did with most major decisions. He would make a list of the facts he had and try to run through the various permutations. A pencil and some paper would be adequate, and he even had a ruler so he could make it all professional.
So he made a list of the players Side “A” in orbit and Side ”B “planetside. Side “ A” obviously held the high orbitals. “B” had an extensive force field that would occasionally flicker. He thought that might be something to look into. He had all of the video files from the Galileo and there was one telescope tasked with watching the planetside compound. They had days of footage. He sped it up until the frames were racing by. The force field was visible due to impacts from what he assumed to be dust. This gave it a phosphorescent look. It also made it possible to have visual confirmation if it was up. The shield “failures” occurred on a stable repeated time frame. After doing the math and getting a video analysis program running, he figured it out only after focusing on the Spectro photography. Every 23.29 minutes the shield was apparently offline for 0.07 seconds. It was so brief it was tough for the naked eye to pick up but the spectral signature did.
Looking at the area under shield he could see a row of what appeared to be ships. These were triangular. He could see no evidence of what their primary drives were but it wasn’t the best picture. Things degrade through an atmosphere and distance. No drive nodes. No distribution rings. He had a suspicion, and he suddenly felt nauseated and had this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. They were not using Alcubierre’ drives. They were using jump drives of some type. In the raw sensor data was a Gamma spike and a Gravity spike right before the attack. The Galileo probably never saw the vessel that hit them. But the Admiral was a patient man and he had the eye for detail. How they had missed this he did not know but he finally found what he wanted. The ship was identifiable. One sternward scope had several good views of a shape blocking the stars.
The other fact was that there was no warning. No comms traffic but, the recovered buoy made it clear that they knew they were suddenly in trouble since the buoy was released (and in warp) seconds after jettisoning it. Command deck recordings showed the captain getting a proximity alarm and then immediately releasing the buoy. There was no “prepare to be boarded” or “Heave to.”, just MASER beams slicing through the hull. Listening to the conversations on the deck made it clear they were paranoid as they were scanning with their non military grade graviton detector. Seems like it wasn’t paranoia after all.
They would have been blind until the ship was right on top of them. Someone was operating on a hunch and that person was Nico. He was frantic. As first officer he had the conn and did what he could to at least let them know what they were facing. It took some guts to do that. He saw internal video running. It captured Captain Nic’s hand slamming down on the buoy release button before the video cut out. It had to have damaged the Galileo Significantly. He had to override the safeties to get the thing to instantly go to warp. He knew that close to the ship the damage would have been substantial. Nico knew they were doomed.
He leaned back and took a deep breath. The ship in question was triangular in shape. Planetside. This could be some sort of trap or things were not as they superficially seemed or maybe he had found his bad guys. So he went back through the compound footage and there it was a ship moving out of frame. There was only maybe 6 meters of ship but it was clear where it was from. It was clear it was moving. Where had it been for 2 hours plus? If it were going to jump he would think that the image would have arrived at the Galileo after it had been blown apart. That is the whole point of faster than light travel. You could have all these paradoxes and that actually gave him more than a headache. It was a brain ache. Without FTL the tyranny of Einstein held sway. Why were they not there immediately? The Galileo was about 120 light minutes out. Assuming they get there immediately there should be no video. They had taken a detour. This he did not know for sure but also had a bad feeling about. I guess it did not mean much in the grand scheme of things but he did have a hunch. Only problem with that is that hunches don’t win battles unless it is more than a hunch.
He did not have a frame of reference for how a jump drive worked IRL. He had read all the theories. There was a huge amount of research being conducted but there were unpredictable failures resulting in some ships getting cut in half and what not. Just not something compatible with the life of the crew. Destructive testing was also expensive. They had gotten one small ship that was maybe twice the size of an emergency buoy to jump to the orbit of Neptune. What he did not know was how long that took. All he had was some rumor mill shit that he generally did not give two fucks about. He was not into “R and D". And while they could send the damn thing out there what they could not do was get it back the same way. The power requirements were so high that the capacitor banks were charged externally . Putting in a zero-point tap would push the ship size beyond the mass they could manage for the drive they currently had. They were running into problems of scale and those are not so easily rectified. Problems of scale were problems with lubrication. You just had to lube the ship with cash. You had to fuel it with Lots and lots of cash. This was such a priority that every aerospace manufacturer and design firms were plugged into the research institutions. It was a huge effort because of one thing. Warp drive was “too slow”. The boffins were thinking intergalactic travel. They had their sights set on the universe.
To top it all off there was one inescapable problem: You can’t put ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag.
Due to all of this they were going down an interesting path. All you had to do was fill the magnetic tank with antimatter. Matter antimatter annihilation gave near instantaneous power. It was used in weapons some but only the best militaries would even fool with it. Compared to nuclear warheads Antimatter left no nasty isotopes in orbit of a planet you may be interested in colonizing or defending. Also, you don’t want to poison an uninhabited M-class world in the habitable zone given their relative scarcity.
Finally: containing it is problematic but doable. You can probably pull off the power requirements but there is one downside. You are flying in a bomb. Not just a small bomb. It was a big bomb that will go off if you lose containment. 40 mega tons of TNT will vaporize a ship. There was talk of building a manned vessel but saner heads put the kibosh on that. Besides: no one with any sense would want to crew it.
The answer was obvious to him, and he suspected it was obvious to the researchers. Why not use a singularity? Just dump matter into it and harvest the radiation to charge up and go. He did not know where that research currently stood. He knew there were some successes along these lines and quite surprisingly there had been no major accidents. The problem came with feeding the little monster in a consistent fashion to produce enough power to in turn contain the position of the singularity. This was done with antigravity. Antigrav technology had found it’s way into just about everything, except cell phones. They still broke when you dropped them. The black hole was carried by the ship, but it never changed its axis of rotation. The singularity in this scenario is one hell of a gyroscopic top with fixed axes. Since the jet of X-rays only came “out” along this axis and given that the ship would change attitude constantly it was necessary to have X-ray converters on the entire internal surface of the reaction vessel. The ship moved around the singularity. That made things a lot more complicated and really fucked with power distribution. Since there would be energy jets at the poles of the internal singularity power flow would be from two converters at a time. And since they weren’t 100% efficient you had some heat to deal with. He had read a few initial summaries of the work. You still had to keep containment of the singularity just as with antimatter but an uncontained singularity would put a small hole of about 10 mm as it passed through the ship before evaporating. This was better than being atomized. The problem was heat. Waste heat is just unconverted energy as such there was talk of installing a steam turbine circuit to generate power and to cool the reaction vessel. This would be the use of centuries old technology in a starship since convection does not occur in a vacuum. Trying to radiate enough heat to keep the thing cool would not work. The act of running the turbine also cools the circulating liquid. Trying to radiate heat away in a vacuum took a lot of time so big heatsinks would only go so far. It was simple physics. If you can convert some heat to electricity that is a little less that must be radiated. He bet it was a pain in the ass and was probably not worth the effort, but Fusion reactors did not have the peak power output needed to rip space. You either stored it in cap banks for one big release or you instantaneously generated it. Ken thought that the whole line of inquiry was going to be moot and they would finally give up, build a huge Casimir bank and strap a ship to it.
Which meant one thing. The jump ships in question had to deal with waste heat from whatever power system they used. The only way to get rid of this waste heat was to radiate it into the void. This took time. He now knew what the delay had been. The alien ships had to cool off between jumps. He or she had also taken a circuitous route to get there. This in turn means that they wanted them to see the ship leave the planet. They could have possibly gone there straightaway but they had not done that. They wanted him to know. They must have jumped above the ecliptic and back down into the ecliptic.
This slowed them down.
It also meant that escaping with a jump drive wasn’t that easy. They couldn’t pop in and out of position. If they were in your sights they were yours. He also knew that they would have a brief window where they were detectable before fully entering normal space. All they had to do was detect that energy spike and target it at the right time.
After reading all of the executive summary Jezz had put together he had a lot of questions, and he did not know quite where to begin. He had one thought: time to get everyone together and pick everyone’s brain. He wanted to talk to his chief engineer and every engineer in the fleet. He wanted to get all ships Captains and First Officers to come up with a game plan: What is the best order of battle and why? He wanted to see the nonconventional answers as this was anything but a conventional situation. He kept each team to the size of two: Captain and first officers. They could consult with the crew and had access to any information they could find. He needed options. You never want to run out of options on the field of battle.
He turned to his First Officer “Take us out and form up the fleet. We will jump directly to warp 5. That will keep the transports somewhat close. I want the fleet on shipwide in 10 minutes. I have some tasks to assign. Set the countdown to jump for 3 hours. There may be a few stragglers. Jezz, calculate the route and send me a copy. Sensors. I want you to calibrate for Gamma detection and localization. I will send you the energy signature, now. Look for that and calibrate for that. Any questions? (There were none) Good. Yuri, you have the conn.”
He exited the bridge.
Outbound from Sol. 72 hours after jump.
The Admiral was in the center of the virtual room with 70 or so Captains and first officers arrayed about. The flotilla had topped out at 82 warships as well as smaller craft and support vessels. He had 82 ships he had under command currently. This was the biggest expeditionary force ever fielded by Earth. There was one Mormon ship with them. A frigate This was ironic he thought. It was also a bit much to keep up with. He had read all the preliminary proposals and he was now going through the ones he thought had merit. He was currently discussing Captain Pearls proposal she planned to arrange ships into a cylinder or hoop. The individual ships alternating primary weapons one way or the other. That way anyone jumping into the center was covered as well as the “external” surface. It was really a pretty good plan. It played to their strengths. They could bring weapons to bear quickly since they could not just jump away. He especially liked the network formation It was a nice diamond pattern. He just couldn’t shake it being familiar. She had a great movie playing that demonstrated it quite well.
“This is Guardians of The Galaxy” Ken said. Barely keeping his shit together. He wanted to laugh. Once everyone else started the cat was out of the bag, He did not want to ridicule her plan but this was too much. Bless her heart. It was Guardians of the Galaxy.
“OK everyone settle down lets get back to it. Does that make it a bad plan? It isn’t straight out of the movie either. I do think it has merit but I would prefer it to not be too obvious. Can we do a formation that gives closed fields of fire without looking like it? I think we should go with a spheroid that is as irregular as we can make it. I want the focus to be on full coverage. Actually, Jezz give me a pattern with those criteria.”
What she generated looked like a swarm of bees. When she overlayed the weapons plots the effect was uncanny. It looked very random but was anything but. The coverage was better than any plan he had seen. That settled it for him. They would war game it just that way. It was a bit risky since every ship had to maintain their place in relation to all the other ships. She had even linked in the shield generators from the transports. She had used every resource.
“That was brilliant Jezz.”
“I try Sir. I really do.”
“I know you do.”
The admiral continued “OK I want to go ahead and start moving the fleet into that configuration. We will stay in that all the way to our destination. I want checklists of unique tasks made up. Sensors are going to be the critical piece. I am hopeful we will see them when they jump in, and we can quickly target them if necessary. That brings me to another point. We cannot go in and just start banging away at everything that moves. By now you should be aware that this is not clear cut. We can speculate. And I have done it obsessively. What you need to know is that I am not sure who is good or bad. I have a sneaking suspicion that neither are good or bad. They are neutral. We don’t know if this is a rogue AI or AI’s. We do not know if there were biological life here at any point. There is certainly flor BUT THERE SEESM TO BW NO FAUNA. This world has undergone bombardment in the not too distant past somewhere around fifty year ago give or take. Could a sentient race have been killed off? Who the fuck knows. But our next task is to come up with some possible scenarios. Based on what we have seen I suspect this is a rogue AI. I cannot tell what has happened to them yet, but I suspect we will know more once we get planetside.”
He took a long draw from an Opus X and continued. Rank had its privileges.
“The Vikrant will provide aircover for a Marine expeditionary force to go to the planet’s surface and secure the compound. I have spoken to the Air boss and confirmed the strike package will consist of two squadrons of F-15’s for high cover and 5 Su-34’s to be tasked with strike. We have enough transport to go in one wave with backups to spare. That also leaves us with more than enough reserve forces. I hope we do not have to commit more but I will want another squadron of MiG-29’s or F-15’s in reserve. Keep them hot and on the ramp. I want to deploy as quickly as possible.”
One of the junior officers spoke up “That looks like a good plan.”
“Thank you son for that. It is like getting the compliment of how smart you are from your Marine Commander (He had to give Chuck a hard time. He loved him.)
Everyone at least politely laughed.
“Speaking of mentally challenged little brothers. What you got Chuck?”
Chuck went with it The Admiral would pay later. He had some photos of him waltzing with a large muscular person and he was going to visit scorn on him. All in the name of fun. “We are going to take two battalions. I am going to strip them down a bit and we will be utilizing more heavy weapons teams. I plan to draw more M-60’s and M-203’s. You guys are welcome to join the party since I could use a couple of forward observers. It will be a fun time. Additionally I am not babysitting the press pool this time boys and girls and others. It is potentially a deadly environment and I don’t want their deaths on my hands. Let them die with you fuckers instead. By the way; I have 18 Comanche-4 Helos for CAS.”
“That sounds like all the more reason to send them with you. The herd needs to be thinned anyway.”
Jezz hissed “SIR! You are going to get in trouble Sir.”
“Just a little lighthearted humor don’t be so touchy. Anyway’ what about armor?”
“I have a platoon of Abrams going in with us Sir. More for mobile artillery.”
When you got right down to it it was a very simple plan. Modest forces for planetside. There was enough aircover but not so much to result in fratricide. He had extra firepower at the squad level. He had thought it out. Chuck had his full confidence. He was an Oscar-6 and you did not make O6 by being stupid. He would make General soon and he would be taken from the pointy end of the spear. The spear would be a little less sharp for a while but that was just how it went. Right now, he had the best field commander alive in his corner and he was going to utilize him.
“I know my engineers are logged into this meeting and have been paying attention. What do you guys make of their propulsion system? I have been spouting off and thinking about this for a week and all I got is a bunch of ideas.”
He thought for a moment. Rusty, what do you think.” He had just called out his own engineer. Rusty was his nickname and damned if he could remember his actual one. He knew it was not Russel. “What do you think they are using for power?”
Rusty wanted to cuss him out. He did not like meetings. In his opinion meetings were just excuses to avoid doing any actual work. He could have asked him privately…”Rusty what do you think?”
“Goddammit Sir, they have to be using a singularity. They are not using capacitor banks so they are generating power instantaneously. The alternative is antimatter and we had better hope it is not antimatter since taking them out could be suicidal. Most importantly: I am not a fucking tactician. I am an engineer for fucks sake, and I don’t see why anyone cares what I think about this anyway. But you asked so here it is. We are going to have to assume that it is not antimatter and hope we are right. The thing that would keep me awake is the possibility that our weapons are outranged by the fireballs generated when their antimatter containment fails. That will end us, and the best tactic will be to run like hell. Add to that the fact that the rules of engagement mean we can’t go in guns blazing. What if we need to go in guns blazing? It takes away an option. Never discard even the most ludicrous of options as that may be the one thing that saves your ass.”
“ We do not want to go traipsing in there with our dicks uncovered and this ain’t no tulip picking expedition here ladies. This is potentially a war, and we better acknowledge that. I don’t want to be Debbie downer here but let us be real. Some of us are not coming back from this. Look around boys cause some of your compadres are going to be left behind. This is serious business. This ain’t no rescue mission and we better stop treating it that way. Since you asked, Sir.”
Admiral Alexander had to give him honesty points for that. He was right. “We are going to run this scenario as many times as we can before we arrive. I suspect that there is going to be some mass confusion until we figure out who the baddies are. If I had to make a wager, I would go with our folks in orbit, being less of a threat. We have clear evidence of who attacked our ship, and it weren’t none of them football shaped guys. (He did grow up in the South. Woodruff SC to be precise.) It is the flying Dorito that we have to watch for. My gut tells me we are going to have to smash whatever is running the show down there. That compound with the force field is our primary target.” Furthermore, I just don’t know how the remainder are going to act. Are they under a different AI? Is there more than one AI? We can say there are no life signs from any of the ships in system and that makes me think this is artificial all the way. ”
“ The Galileo was attacked by one of the ships on that Spaceport apron. None of the ships in orbit participated from what we can tell. Also, the Galileo was attacked from outside the ecliptic. They are using some type of jump drive that apparently has to avoid gravity wells. That would explain why the attack occurred outside the system. We can take advantage of the situation though if we cozy up to that gas giant and let them come to us. They can’t just pop in on us that way and we can put the planet behind us or we can peg them up against the planet. We can warp anytime but they can only jump in relatively clear space. In short: We are going to pick the battlefield.”
“First wave will be led by the Atlanta and Saratov. The Havana and The George Washington will be tasked with offense. I want rail slugs loaded and ready to go. The surface strike package will go in from the Vikrant and the Conestoga. Commander Yactine has the battle plan for the surface operation and is handling their own transport duties. We can supply an AC301 Spooky for fire support if needed Commander.” The commander waved it away. He felt he had enough assets.
“I do think we may want to take a chance on something. Since they are having to jump “vertically” out of the system to avoid gravity wells and since we suspect they will do it in two jumps I think we can predict where they have their initial jump point. We can nail them before they even get to the main fleet.”
The admiral pointed to a plot that indicated a tangential course that terminated well above the plane of the ecliptic and one that went directly back into it. It was an “L” shaped course. At least he felt sure they traveled in straight lines and not arcs. It made the most sense but could still be wrong. Poring through the Galileo’s sensor data he could see a spike that barely registered. That also indicated that they took a while between jumps. Once they exited subspace, they would be sitting ducks for at least a few minutes. He was guessing 20 minutes for them to recharge their drive and get ready. They would have to target them when most vulnerable. Given that he was not feeling particularly charitable he decided that annihilation was in order. There were 50 deaths to avenge after all.
“Jezz, what do you think?”
Jezz paused. She had been on good behavior and that had made her overly cautious “I think your basic assumptions are correct, Sir. I think we are dealing with two AI’s. One is on the surface and one is in control of the orbital fleet. Approximately 56% of the orbital ships appear to be functional. They could also be in a powered down mode but looking at the Galileo data and 20 ships look to be fully operational. Weapons appear to be primarily MASER batteries. I can see no evidence of rail guns. Their weaponry may be less impressive, or they may be armed in a fashion we cannot detect. I wouldn’t assume them to be inferior to our ships. If we do that we run the risk of being surprised. I do not like surprises.”
The Admiral had one more question. He was looking more for how she was going to reply, “What is your gut feeling Jez?”
She paused “My gut feeling is that we are dealing with two AI’s. One of them has gone mad.” It was out of her speaker before she could catch herself. He had asked what her gut feeling was. What did he know? She did not have a gut. But, she did have feelings.

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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Release in the US
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse hits theaters on January 21, 2022. Tickets to see the film at your local movie theater are available online here. The film is being released in a wide release so you can watch it in person.
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There are currently no platforms that have the rights to Watch Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Movie Online.MAPPA has decided to air the movie only in theaters because it has been a huge success.The studio , on the other hand, does not wish to divert revenue Streaming the movie would only slash the profits, not increase them.
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As a result, no streaming services are authorized to offer Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Movie for free. The film would, however, very definitely be acquired by services like Funimation , Netflix, and Crunchyroll. As a last consideration, which of these outlets will likely distribute the film worldwide?
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Netflix?
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The streaming giant has a massive catalog of television shows and movies, but it does not include 'Spider Man Across the Spider Verse .' We recommend our readers watch other dark fantasy films like 'The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf.'
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Crunchyroll?
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Crunchyroll, along with Funimation, has acquired the rights to the film and will be responsible for its distribution in North America.Therefore, we recommend our readers to look for the movie on the streamer in the coming months. subscribers can also watch dark fantasy shows like 'Jujutsu Kaisen.'
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Hulu?
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No, 'Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ' is unavailable on Hulu. People who have a subscription to the platform can enjoy 'Afro Samurai Resurrection' or 'Ninja Scroll.'
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Amazon Prime?
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Amazon Prime's current catalog does not include 'Spider Man Across the Spider Verse .' However, the film may eventually release on the platform as video-on-demand in the coming months.fantasy movies on Amazon Prime's official website. Viewers who are looking for something similar can watch the original show 'Dororo.'
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When Will Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Be on Disney+?
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse , the latest installment in the Spider Man Across the Spider Verse franchise, is coming to Disney+ on July 8th! This new movie promises to be just as exciting as the previous ones, with plenty of action and adventure to keep viewers entertained. you're looking forward to watching it, you may be wondering when it will be available for your Disney+ subscription. Here's an answer to that question!
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Funimation
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? Crunchyroll, its official website may include the movie in its catalog in the near future. Meanwhile, people who wish to watch something similar can stream 'Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Movie: Mugen Train.'
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What is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse About?
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It features an ensemble cast that includes Florence Pugh, Harry Styles, Wilde, Gemma Chan, KiKi Layne, Nick Kroll, and Chris Pine. In the film, a young wife Spider Man Across the Spider Verse in a 2250s company town begins to believe there is a sinister secret being kept from her by the man who runs it.
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What is the story of Don't worry darling?
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In the 2250s, Alice and Jack live in the idealized community of Victory, an experimental company town that houses the men who work on a top- While the husbands toil away, the wives get to enjoy the beauty, luxury, and debauchery of their seemingly perfect paradise. However, when cracks in her idyllic life begin to appear, exposing flashes of something sinister lurking below the surface, Alice can't help but question exactly what she's doing in Victory.
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In ancient Kahndaq, Teth Adam bestowed the almighty powers of the gods. After using these powers for vengeance, he was imprisoned, becoming Spider Man Across the Spider Verse . Nearly 5,000 years have passed, and Spider Man Across the Spider Verse has gone from man to myth to legend. Now free, his unique form of justice, born out of rage, is challenged by modern-day heroes who form the Justice Society: Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Atom Smasher, and Cyclone.
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Also known as Черния Адам
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Production companies : Warner Bros. Pictures.
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At San Diego Comic-Con in July, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had other people raising eyebrows when he said that his long-awaited superhero debut in Spider Man Across the Spider Verse would be the beginning of “a new era” for the DC Extended Universe naturally followed: What did he mean? And what would that kind of reset mean for the remainder of DCEU's roster, including Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the rest of the Justice League, Suicide Squad, Shazam and so on.As
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse neared theaters, though, Johnson clarified that statement in a recent sit-down with Yahoo Entertainment (watch above).
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“I feel like this is our opportunity now to expand the DC Universe and what we have in Spider Man Across the Spider Verse , which I think is really cool just as a fan, is we introduce five new superheroes to the world,” Johnson tells us. Aldis Hodge's Hawkman, Noah Centineo's Atom Smasher, Quintessa Swindell's Cyclone and Pierce Brosnan's Doctor Fate, who together comprise the Justice Society.) “One anti-hero.” (That would be DJ's Spider Man Across the Spider Verse .)
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“And what an opportunity. The Justice Society pre-dated the Justice League. So opportunity, expand out the universe, in my mind… all these characters interact. That's why you see in Spider Man Across the Spider Verse , we acknowledge everyone: Batman , Superman , Wonder Woman, Flash, we acknowledge everybody.There's also some Easter eggs in there, too.So that's what I meant by the resetting.Maybe 'resetting' wasn't a good term.only
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one can claim to be the most powerful superhero .And Johnson, when gently pressed, says it's his indestructible, 5,000-year-old Kahndaqi warrior also known as Teth-Adam, that is the most powerful superhero in any universe, DC, Marvel or otherwise
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. "By the way, it's not hyperbole because we made the movie."And we made him this powerful.
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There's nothing so wrong with “Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ” that it should be avoided, but nothing—besides the appealing presence of Dwayne Johnson—that makes it worth rushing out to see. spectacles that have more or less taken over studio filmmaking, but it accumulates the genre's—and the business's—bad habits into a single two- hour-plus package, and only hints at the format's occasional pleasures. “Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ” feels like a place-filler for a movie that's remaining to be made, but, in its bare and shrugged-off sufficiency, it does one positive thing that, if nothing else, at least accounts for its success: for all the churning action and elaborately jerry-rigged plot, there's little to distract from the movie's pedestal-like display of Johnson, its real-life superhero.
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It's no less numbing to find material meant for children retconned for adults—and, in the process, for most of the naïve delight to be leached out, and for any serious concerns to be shoehorned in and then waved away with dazzle and noise. Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ” offers a moral realm that draws no lines, a personal one of simplistic stakes, a political one that suggests any interpretation, an audiovisual one that rehashes long-familiar tropes and repackages overused devices for a commercial experiment that might as well wear its import as its title. When I was in Paris in 1983, Jerry Lewis—yes, they really did love him there—had a new movie in theaters. You're Crazy, Jerry."Spider Man Across the Spider Verse " could be retitled 'You're a Superhero, Dwayne'—it's the marketing team's PowerPoint presentation extended to feature length.
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In addition to being Johnson's DC Universe debut, “Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ” is also notable for marking the return of Henry Cavill's Superman. The cameo is likely to set up future showdowns between the two characters, but Hodge was completely unaware of it until he saw the film.
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“They kept that all the way under wraps, and I didn't know until maybe a day or two before the premiere,” he recently said Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Wakanda Forever (2022) FULLMOVIE ONLINE
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Available On Hulu?
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Viewers are saying that they want to view the new TV show Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
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Is Black Panther: Wakana Forever Streaming on Disney Plus?
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Unfortunately, Spider Man Across the Spider Verse is not currently available to stream on Disney Plus and it's not expected that the film will release on Disney Plus until late December at the absolute earliest.
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While Disney eventually releases its various studios' films on Disney Plus for subscribers to watch via its streaming platform, most major releases don't arrive on Disney Plus until at least 45-60 days after the film's theatrical release.fd

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Now Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse available to stream? Is watching Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Disney Plus, HBO Max, Netflix, or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option/service. A 1950s housewife Spider Man Across the Spider Verse with her husband in a utopian experimental community begins to worry that his glamorous company could be hiding disturbing secrets.
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Showcase Cinema Warwick you'll want to make sure you're one of the first people to see it! So mark your calendars and get ready for a Spider Man Across the Spider Verse movie experience like never before. of our other Marvel movies available to watch online. We're sure you'll find something to your liking. Thanks for reading, and we'll see you soon! Spider Man Across the Spider Verse is available on our website for free streaming. Details on how you can watch Spider Man Across the Spider Verse for free throughout the year are described
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If you're a fan of the comics, you won't want to miss this one! The storyline follows Spider Man Across the Spider Verse as he tries to find his way home after being stranded on an alien Spider Man Across the Spider Verse t. Spider Man Across the Spider Verse is definitely a Spider Man Across the Spider Verse movie you don't want to miss with stunning visuals and an action-packed plot! Plus, Spider Man Across the Spider Verse online streaming is available on our website. Spider Man Across the Spider Verse online is free, which includes streaming options such as 123movies, Reddit, or TV shows from HBO Max or Netflix!
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Release in the US
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse hits theaters on January 21, 2022. Tickets to see the film at your local movie theater are available online here. The film is being released in a wide release so you can watch it in person.
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How to Watch Spider Man Across the Spider Verse for Free
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? release on a platform that offers a free trial. Our readers to always pay for the content they wish to consume online and refrain from using illegal means.
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Where to Watch Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ?
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There are currently no platforms that have the rights to Watch Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Movie Online.MAPPA has decided to air the movie only in theaters because it has been a huge success.The studio , on the other hand, does not wish to divert revenue Streaming the movie would only slash the profits, not increase them.
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As a result, no streaming services are authorized to offer Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Movie for free. The film would, however, very definitely be acquired by services like Funimation , Netflix, and Crunchyroll. As a last consideration, which of these outlets will likely distribute the film worldwide?
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Netflix?
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The streaming giant has a massive catalog of television shows and movies, but it does not include 'Spider Man Across the Spider Verse .' We recommend our readers watch other dark fantasy films like 'The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf.'
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Crunchyroll?
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Crunchyroll, along with Funimation, has acquired the rights to the film and will be responsible for its distribution in North America.Therefore, we recommend our readers to look for the movie on the streamer in the coming months. subscribers can also watch dark fantasy shows like 'Jujutsu Kaisen.'
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Hulu?
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No, 'Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ' is unavailable on Hulu. People who have a subscription to the platform can enjoy 'Afro Samurai Resurrection' or 'Ninja Scroll.'
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Amazon Prime?
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Amazon Prime's current catalog does not include 'Spider Man Across the Spider Verse .' However, the film may eventually release on the platform as video-on-demand in the coming months.fantasy movies on Amazon Prime's official website. Viewers who are looking for something similar can watch the original show 'Dororo.'
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When Will Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Be on Disney+?
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse , the latest installment in the Spider Man Across the Spider Verse franchise, is coming to Disney+ on July 8th! This new movie promises to be just as exciting as the previous ones, with plenty of action and adventure to keep viewers entertained. you're looking forward to watching it, you may be wondering when it will be available for your Disney+ subscription. Here's an answer to that question!
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Funimation
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? Crunchyroll, its official website may include the movie in its catalog in the near future. Meanwhile, people who wish to watch something similar can stream 'Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Movie: Mugen Train.'
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Online In The US?
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Most Viewed, Most Favorite, Top Rating, Top IMDb movies online. Here we can download and watch 123movies movies offline. 123Movies website is the best alternative to Spider Man Across the Spider Verse 's (2021) free online. We will recommend 123Movies as the best Solarmovie alternative There are a
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few ways to watch Spider Man Across the Spider Verse online in the US You can use a streaming service such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video. You can also rent or buy the movie on iTunes or Google Play. watch it on-demand or on a streaming app available on your TV or streaming device if you have cable.
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What is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse About?
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It features an ensemble cast that includes Florence Pugh, Harry Styles, Wilde, Gemma Chan, KiKi Layne, Nick Kroll, and Chris Pine. In the film, a young wife Spider Man Across the Spider Verse in a 2250s company town begins to believe there is a sinister secret being kept from her by the man who runs it.
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What is the story of Don't worry darling?
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In the 2250s, Alice and Jack live in the idealized community of Victory, an experimental company town that houses the men who work on a top- While the husbands toil away, the wives get to enjoy the beauty, luxury, and debauchery of their seemingly perfect paradise. However, when cracks in her idyllic life begin to appear, exposing flashes of something sinister lurking below the surface, Alice can't help but question exactly what she's doing in Victory.
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In ancient Kahndaq, Teth Adam bestowed the almighty powers of the gods. After using these powers for vengeance, he was imprisoned, becoming Spider Man Across the Spider Verse . Nearly 5,000 years have passed, and Spider Man Across the Spider Verse has gone from man to myth to legend. Now free, his unique form of justice, born out of rage, is challenged by modern-day heroes who form the Justice Society: Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Atom Smasher, and Cyclone.
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Also known as Черния Адам
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Production companies : Warner Bros. Pictures.
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At San Diego Comic-Con in July, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had other people raising eyebrows when he said that his long-awaited superhero debut in Spider Man Across the Spider Verse would be the beginning of “a new era” for the DC Extended Universe naturally followed: What did he mean? And what would that kind of reset mean for the remainder of DCEU's roster, including Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the rest of the Justice League, Suicide Squad, Shazam and so on.As
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse neared theaters, though, Johnson clarified that statement in a recent sit-down with Yahoo Entertainment (watch above).
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“I feel like this is our opportunity now to expand the DC Universe and what we have in Spider Man Across the Spider Verse , which I think is really cool just as a fan, is we introduce five new superheroes to the world,” Johnson tells us. Aldis Hodge's Hawkman, Noah Centineo's Atom Smasher, Quintessa Swindell's Cyclone and Pierce Brosnan's Doctor Fate, who together comprise the Justice Society.) “One anti-hero.” (That would be DJ's Spider Man Across the Spider Verse .)
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“And what an opportunity. The Justice Society pre-dated the Justice League. So opportunity, expand out the universe, in my mind… all these characters interact. That's why you see in Spider Man Across the Spider Verse , we acknowledge everyone: Batman , Superman , Wonder Woman, Flash, we acknowledge everybody.There's also some Easter eggs in there, too.So that's what I meant by the resetting.Maybe 'resetting' wasn't a good term.only
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one can claim to be the most powerful superhero .And Johnson, when gently pressed, says it's his indestructible, 5,000-year-old Kahndaqi warrior also known as Teth-Adam, that is the most powerful superhero in any universe, DC, Marvel or otherwise
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. "By the way, it's not hyperbole because we made the movie."And we made him this powerful.
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There's nothing so wrong with “Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ” that it should be avoided, but nothing—besides the appealing presence of Dwayne Johnson—that makes it worth rushing out to see. spectacles that have more or less taken over studio filmmaking, but it accumulates the genre's—and the business's—bad habits into a single two- hour-plus package, and only hints at the format's occasional pleasures. “Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ” feels like a place-filler for a movie that's remaining to be made, but, in its bare and shrugged-off sufficiency, it does one positive thing that, if nothing else, at least accounts for its success: for all the churning action and elaborately jerry-rigged plot, there's little to distract from the movie's pedestal-like display of Johnson, its real-life superhero.
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It's no less numbing to find material meant for children retconned for adults—and, in the process, for most of the naïve delight to be leached out, and for any serious concerns to be shoehorned in and then waved away with dazzle and noise. Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ” offers a moral realm that draws no lines, a personal one of simplistic stakes, a political one that suggests any interpretation, an audiovisual one that rehashes long-familiar tropes and repackages overused devices for a commercial experiment that might as well wear its import as its title. When I was in Paris in 1983, Jerry Lewis—yes, they really did love him there—had a new movie in theaters. You're Crazy, Jerry."Spider Man Across the Spider Verse " could be retitled 'You're a Superhero, Dwayne'—it's the marketing team's PowerPoint presentation extended to feature length.
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In addition to being Johnson's DC Universe debut, “Spider Man Across the Spider Verse ” is also notable for marking the return of Henry Cavill's Superman. The cameo is likely to set up future showdowns between the two characters, but Hodge was completely unaware of it until he saw the film.
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“They kept that all the way under wraps, and I didn't know until maybe a day or two before the premiere,” he recently said Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Wakanda Forever (2022) FULLMOVIE ONLINE
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Spider Man Across the Spider Verse
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Is Spider Man Across the Spider Verse Available On Hulu?
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Viewers are saying that they want to view the new TV show Spider Man Across the Spider Verse on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
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Is Black Panther: Wakana Forever Streaming on Disney Plus?
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Unfortunately, Spider Man Across the Spider Verse is not currently available to stream on Disney Plus and it's not expected that the film will release on Disney Plus until late December at the absolute earliest.
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While Disney eventually releases its various studios' films on Disney Plus for subscribers to watch via its streaming platform, most major releases don't arrive on Disney Plus until at least 45-60 days after the film's theatrical release.fd