Bike rack for garage wall

Hi there! I have had a tarantula handed to me. When my ex and I split he moved to Mexico and I ended up getting his tarantula.
He would hardly pay the tarantula any mind, she was on the top of his book shelf for a very long time and was usually not within my direct eyeline for the many years I was around her. He would feed her maybe 4-5 live crickets once every 2-3 months and he has never cleared her tank before. She was given to him over 10 years ago and I am pretty sure she was full grown even then.
I am writing this because Hermoines behaviour seems odd. I moved to a new house in December and she essentially stayed burrowed under her log for what seemed like months. If she was moving around I was not catching it. I recently moved her tank to a new spot in my direct eyeline and I’ve noticed she keeps climbing up the walls, often getting stuck in the mesh lid of her tank, or slipping and falling on the substrate. She is also acting very restless.
I am looking for recommendations and insight into a potential cause? Or just any general advice. I am planning on cleaning her tank and changing the substrate to see if that makes a difference. Basically going to renovate her tank and get her some new stuff. So if anyone has any tips on that I will happily take them!!
I am doing my best to care for this lovely create I am slightly terrified of but I was kind of thrown in blind. I will share pictures of the beautiful Hermoine and her tank. (I’m new to reddit and I dont know how to add pics to this post- I will try in the comments)

After seeing people having a lot of negative opinion about Yakuza 3, so I went in mentally preparing myself and having low expectations. And to my surprise, I really like the game.
I. Story: I heard people didn't like how slow the story was taking to start and the weird pacing but I didn't find it to be an issue at all. I quite enjoy the story, I care more about the characters and what I was fighting for than Yumiwho? in kiwami 1 and the boring clan war plot twist in kiwami 2. I actually don't have a complain for the story beside >! how the handled Sayama lol !<
II. Combat: I see a lot of people hating the combat after playing Kiwami 2. Sure it is a bit janky sometimes but it feels way better than Kiwami 2 for some reason, especially when you unlock double finisher in Tech. I find myself pretty comfortable leveling up while I do all the substories available to me. Leveling was straight forward and Kiryu feels powerful quite fast, especially when you unlock >! the komaki moves in chapter 5 !< . I learned how to start my combo early to land my heavy attacks on the enemy, I learned to do backward kick, I change direction of the heavy attack in rush combo to throw off enemies so blockuza 3 was never really a problem for me tbh. I never even learn to wall bound enemies tho lol. Leveling up was quite straight forward unlike Kiwami 2 bloated grind fest so I like it way more.
Quick tip for new people looking to pickup 3: Get the Bloody Binding at Okinawa Majong Parlor and combat will be a lot more fun.
III. Misc idk - The dated graphics isn't a problem for me but the UI is kinda weird. I hate how you can't eat multiple food at the restaurant

• Why does subquest not have a marker lol
  
• None of the subquest really stood out to me beside Rikiya, Date and the instant ramen one
  

Overall. I think I really like Yakuza 3 Remastered and probably will play more of it until I move on to 4. I'll probably do the hitman story but idk if i should do other ones too, what do you think?

I’m 20 and I’m currently in culinary school and working in a restaurant. I wake up for class everyday at 5:30am and have to be in class at 8:00am. My class goes on until 5:00pm. After class I go straight to work (can’t even change. Still have my chef pants on at work). I work until 10:30pm. This is Monday through Friday (except Wednesday when all I do is catch up on lost sleep and smoke). On Saturday I work a double shift (8:00am to 10:30pm) and on Sunday I work our brunch shift which is our busiest shift (7:30am to 5:00pm). They only have me working fry which is our second busiest station (I live in the south, everything is fried). They won’t let me work grill or sauté since no one else wants to work the fry station. I am at the top of my class in culinary school. I am overqualified for this position and it’s soul crushing. I’d quit but it’s the only restaurant near my college that will accommodate my hours. I’m constantly exhausted and overwhelmed. I love cooking, it’s always been my passion. I’m just starting to think I made a wrong decision in life. I originally wanted to be a musician at the start of high school. When covid hit I started to mess around with different music programs since I always loved to play piano and make things in GarageBand on my phone. By senior year I got hired on to make the music for a Pokémon fan game (it got cancelled unfortunately). I felt the most accomplished I ever had in my life. But my passion for cooking overtook that. I’m just wondering if I pursued music, where would I be now? After only 4 months of working in a restaurant I started smoking weed. If I pursed music, I probably would’ve gone to a normal college and had a slower paced job with better hours and wouldn’t have started smoking (I’m not saying I don’t like smoking, I just think I do it too much now). I would’ve been relaxing writing music. If my past self saw me, he’d think I was a degenerate. I’m not saying I don’t love who I am now (mostly of my family smoke weed and do shrooms anyway) I think I just could’ve been a better person overall if I pursued music.

Okay, the title sounds terrible, but I will start at the beginning. So I work at a popular sandwich shop in my hometown. About half an hour before I got off my shift, I picked up a phone call that came into the shop. I answered how I usually do, "(shop name) this is (name). How can I help you?" as soon as I said the last word, the lady on the other side went off on me, cussing me out, asking me how hard my job is, etc. She was upset that she got the wrong sandwich. I apologized for the inconvenience and offered her a refund. I went to the computer that the order was taken on while the customer was on hold and started looking for the correct check. I thought that I found it, so I returned to the phone to ask her if the receipt numbers matched, and she responded with "Yes, and the fact that you even have to ask that is BS (she said the actual words, though)." I responded nicely but firmly, saying, "I just wanted to make sure I give the refund to you, and I didn't know because I didn't ring you out." She then continues to cuss me out and belittle me. I told her that I refunded the price for the sandwich and that the next time she stopped by to mention to the person that checked her out that she spoke to me and we would give her a free sandwich. She then said to me, "Why tf should I have to tell you guys your name? You should write my name for the next time I come in so I can get my free sandwich. It's the least you can do since you ruined my day!" I was flabbergasted. I told her, "maybe if you were smarter, you would have checked your food before you drove off." I told my manager because I was so angry was about to punch a wall. My manager said I needed to calm down and stop being an asshole. (he didn't say it exactly like that.) So am I the asshole?

Hello! Owner of a CX-9 Carbon with the red leather seats.
Wanted to ask for tips on how to clean and best maintain the leather. Want to make sure they look nice and clean for years. For what its worth, when not driving , the car is in a garage or covered parkinf 99% of the time.
Thanks!

I'm going to be living in Stratford for one month and I was hoping to find a gym for amateur powerlifting training (i.e. has sufficient squat racks, deadlift platforms, and benches).
I am currently a GoodLife member so I was initially considering suspending that and joining Fit4Less for one month, but I heard that Fit4Less doesn't have deadlift platforms.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

hey!
here’s what I look like
I’m in chicago, in the middle of my phd, using the sacred few hours of sleep I got to scroll reddit while binging on the trashiest reality TV and early 00s MTV music videos… I’m known for taking wise choices :P
a few sentences about myself
I’m a very proud mexican doing his phd in theoretical biophysics in the US (somewhere in the midwest). sometimes I like to think I’m super smart… then I remember how much trashy reality tv trivia I know. tbh, since moving here I’ve been aching to meet people that aren’t related to my professional or academic sphere, and rarely got the time to do much outside the lab, so, here I am, it seems meeting people online could be good bet :O
some random trivia

• my work is on machine learning and proteins
• love running and cycling, pretty much any heavy cardio activity
• love playing soccer but suck at it
• love signing but suck at it
• love drawing but suck at it
• I only sing in spanish, because I got a thiccc accent and feel a bit self-conscious singing in english
• expert in early 00s shitty pop music
• best disney movie is ratatouille
• most overrated disney movie is up
• love dancing cumbia and bachata… and actually do not suck at it! lmao
• can move my ears on command
• have lived in 4 countries, 6 cities, 2 continents
• I’m trying to get into video games. help? I have a swtich, xbox, and pc
• not a fan of scifi or fantasy :(
• once got jump-scared by a possum while riding my bike
• knows two and a half languages
• love crafts (specially origami) and playing the accordion

here are two truths and a lie

• I was personally invited to a fancy rooftop party by a google hotshot, but bailed on it
• a mexican bill saved my life while I was stranded in serbia
• I was suspended from middle school for burning a whiteboard with body spray and a lighter

If you're interested in talking, send me a line about yourself!

I'm going to be living in Stratford for one month and I was hoping to find a gym for amateur powerlifting training (i.e. has sufficient squat racks, deadlift platforms, and benches).
I am currently a GoodLife member so I was initially considering suspending that and joining Fit4Less for one month, but I heard that Fit4Less doesn't have deadlift platforms.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Well, just as the titles explains. My car is barely hanging on by a thread and no funds for repairs atm. Looking for an ebike or scooter to commute and fb marketplace has too many scams. I tried looking at local bike shops that carry e-bikes but way out of my price range. Looking to get asap

Got a badly broken leg. Got a couple months til I’m back on my feet. Been cautiously trying curls and one-arm presses (seated from clean to overhead). Am sitting on my bench in my rack and using non-exercising arm to stabilize. Any ideas for other KB exercises?

Around November 2022 my pc started acting up. The wifi and bluetooth suddenly became horrible.
I got bluetooth headphones so that's why I noticed it the most. I would turn my head and the audio would cutout over and over again. I found out that one of the antenna prongs on my motherboard(which has integrated wifi) was broken. So i ordered a TP-Link AX3000 and installed it into my PC.
The wifi started working better but the bluetooth wasnt fixed at all. At this point I tried downloading new drivers for my bluetooth. I tried updating them from device manager which couldnt find anything. Then I downloaded an optional windows driver update recommendation. My PC bluescreened. Every time I would try to download a bluetooth driver it would just bluescreen my computer. Then i was stuck in an infinite bootloop. I noticed that in my device manager I had two bluetooth drivers/devices with one of them having a yellow exclamation point. (assuming one is from my mother board and the other is from the tp link). So i had to reinstall windows and reset everything.
The blue screening went away so I assume it was some sort of corrupted OS file. But it's been a few months and the Bluetooth still has two devices with one of them having an exclamation point that wont go away. And now my Wi-Fi on my computer specifically is becoming awful. All my other devices work fine, but my pc keeps dropping the Wi-Fi every 5 minutes making it impossible to play anything. When it works it works but randomly just decides to drop connection. Speed tests dont do anything, windows troubleshooting doesnt find anything either.
The bluetooth is also super weird now. Ill power on my computer and it will legit be missing the bluetooth option in the volume settings. I legit have to troubleshoot my bluetooth everytime on start up. And even then when it reinstalls the bluetooth and "fixes" it, my headphones will make the sound of it connecting but not actually recieve any audio. I have to turn off bluetooth and then turn it on again for a new connection i guess? I dont even know anymore...
Lastly just wanna clarify that the bluetooth and wifi connection are varying 24/7. Sometimes i can go between 5 walls and still be connected on my headphones and other times i can barely turn around in my chair before the music gets cutout. Same thing with wifi, sometimes i go days with great connection and now its just going in and out of dogwater connection.
TLDR: Computer is having really bad connection issues compared to any other device. Wifi and bluetooth cutting out randomly. I've tried most basic things. New wifi card, reset, cmd prompt bs, etc. Everything is intermittently acting horrible and then good. Need help
I really need some help. I'm on windows 11 and yah.

It seems that a culture of a decade doesn’t exactly line up with the actual date. For example, some put the end of the 1950’s at either the death of Buddy Holly in 1959, or of JFK in 1963. The 80’s culturally ended in 1989 with the fall of the Berlin Wall, the 90’s with 9/11, and the 2010’s ended when Covid lockdowns started in March 2020. I struggle to think of a good marker for the oughts.
What day or event marked end of the 2000’s in a cultural sense, and why?

First/Prev/
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Dawn rose over Ft. Waishen. There was little for fortifications, and three large gates; one into the forest to the north, the other two leading into the town. In better days, those two gates saw a pretty consistent traffic, as soldiers streamed out to enjoy the city and back in during the wee hours of the morning, but currently they were closed. Curiously, nobody was stationed near them. Instead the walls were lined with soldiers.
Normally Waishen was provisioned to hold twenty thousand soldiers, and more for short periods of time. Currently the troop compliment was some five thousand, soldiers who were gratefully resting after another fruitless tromp through the woods. Forces that used to focus in the cities in case of attack were spread out among fabricated Forward-Operating Bases across the forest, where one or two thousand soldiers would work and suffer and curse the Governess.
At least they weren't in Chappa itself. Life for a soldier in the capital was an excitement-track ride of ups and downs, units being praised or punished pretty much arbitrarily. Fort Waishen was only on the same continent, and that was too close for the soldiers' liking. A fortunate thing, then, that they were going to be attacked today.
The first blow was a surprise, even though it really shouldn't have been. There was a slight snapping sound, probably louder where it happened, then a bone-rattling boom at the gate. The lower officers watched over them carefully, making sure there weren't any mistakes.
“We're under attack! Fire!” Lasers popped, flash-boiling or vaporizing moisture and dust in their path, firing upwards at an angle. The response came instantly, as hundreds of lasers impact the ground in front of the fort. Klokin guns burped, spewing hundreds of balls into the air.
Now there were dozens of those snapping sounds, and soldiers ducked before explosions rocked the air. The gates swung open, and another volley of laser fire caused small explosions as they superheated the moisture in the ground. Then they were racing for the gate, many of them clearly wearing skins. Only a few of them had those monstrous predators the soldiers had heard of, apparently leashed in case things got out of hand. Somehow, the animals didn't understand the seriousness of the attack, yipping playfully as they ran along.
One more volley rang out, lacing through the treetops and the sky, before the call rang out. “There's too many! Surrender!”
Rifles were set down carefully, rather than thrown down and risk breaking, and men with strange spears and stolen laser rifles looked around threateningly as the dogs tugged at their leashes to go sniff these strangers. An old man wearing a mantle of fur and feathers walked in, carrying a satchel of the type businessmen often carry, and the commander went to meet him.
“Commander,” said the man. “I am here to offer you terms by which you can surrender.” Like many of the others, he had a strange case on his back, holding the feathered ends of a dozen spears, and a strange rod in his belt, too thin to be a club. The case in his hand was considerably more important for the moment, and he opened it to reveal a treasure.
There were several furs, of Sarvanian Forest-Leapers, Shonen Hunters, and others, glossy and beautiful, and scattered atop them like jewels on velvet were claws and fangs. Pride of place in the very center was given to a small credstick.
“I must verify these terms, on behalf of my soldiers. I intend no insult.” Clearly the term the commander intended to verify was the amount, and he picked up the credstick to hold it up to his own wristpad.
The old warrior nodded. “Your soldiers can be... paroled... and leave with their personal effects, without fear of harassment. From there, I'm given to understand, you'll be posted elsewhere,”
Commander Shafir nodded as an impressive number came up on the screen. It just so happened that each soldier already had their personal effects with them, packed and ready. “Your terms are quite reasonable, and I surrender my command. Your attack was so sudden that I don't believe my soldiers had time to sabotage any equipment.”
One of the soldiers watched a man scritch one of the predator's ears, to the creature's obvious delight, and her hand twitched, but everyone filed out in good order, heading towards the spaceport and leaving the brave vanquishers to look over their spoils.
Higa grumbled, of course. Some of those people had probably been involved in more than one action out in the woods, and while slaughters like the village they had seen were rare, killings were not. He wasn't the only one to shoot the retreating force a few glares, but they had worked most of this out beforehand, and the expedition was well-organized. The last thing anyone wanted was one of those shots to accidentally hit someone and cause a real fight.
Fortunately, he was able to see reason, and the loot left behind mollified him a good deal. Thousands of rifles and pistols, ammunition and explosives—not meant to be thrown, but still quite useable, tons of perfectly preserved rations, and dozens of vehicles. This being a hub of sorts, the vehicles seemed mostly troop-transports, which their examinations had led them to believe beforehand.
What they didn't know beforehand was what they were going to do with them. A hundred and fifty shuttles could perhaps have moved the entire tribe with a few trips, but that wasn't what they had.
Benches were set out for the council to meet, and they argued. One plan after another was offered and rejected, and it almost came to blows more than once before the shamans could smooth things over. For the warriors to see such a thing was long considered a taboo, but shamans and chieftains alike knew that whatever the spirits might think of it, harming your warriors' confidence in your leadership would be a disaster of its own.
Eventually Mogan proposed a plan, one that was laughed at until he insisted it would work, and spoke again of his experiences. In the end, they accepted it, begrudgingly, and still insisting that there were a thousand ways it could fail. Mogan didn't disagree, but neither he nor the others were able to offer a better.
The plan for the capital itself—not just the city of Chappa but the actual home of the governess—didn't get made. The chieftains insisted on seeing it before they made any decisions, which was probably the correct choice. But Mogan and Ellisan were some of the first into the city, and while he wasn't sure if it was the correct choice he knew he didn't like it.
But just like someone needed to be last on the shuttle, someone needed to be first on the train.
Thus Mogan walked into the Shansheng Spaceport with Ellisan and Karshta. Karshta had told them that the Mantu were considered suspicious if they traveled without someone, usually a Sylfa, to keep them out of trouble. Many found it insulting, but better the insult than the delays.
It also meant a special car, one that cost a little more, but when he saw how close-packed everyone was, he realized this was a blessing. Neither he nor Ellisan had a dog—it was typical of shamans not to, although not a hard rule—but Mogan wasn't sure whether a dog would have been likely to panic or made for more space. That, fortunately or not, was Higa's concern, as he would be on the next train.
The station wasn't as crowded as he might have suspected. Tourists who wanted to visit one city or the other would simply land there, but there were still people who went back and forth, and this was apparently easier than clogging up the skies. The Sovereign, of course, didn't want to look up on one of his vacations and see a sky crowded with ships and vapor-trails, but it was generally assumed that Noepe's famous clear skies were a valuable commodity for the tourists as well. Mantu were not so common, and so the three of them almost had the car to themselves.
It was linked to several others, traveling along a path laid out on the ground. The path itself was little more than a guide-rail, since the device simply floated in the air, but once the other cars were loaded it set of gracefully, picking up speed as it went.
And then picking up more speed, and more, until it was flying faster than most of the shuttles he had seen. There was little trouble with the wind, likely because there were cars before and behind, but the trip that he thought would take most of a day was over with in a little more than an hour. To his surprise, his legs weren't even shaky as he stepped off the car onto the platform. Amazing what one could get used to.
The other two had little problem, moving towards the gate. Ellisan and Karshta left, looking to find places for the others to stay, while Mogan bought a snack and had a seat to wait for the next train.
Higa was on the next, not quite so steady as he stepped down with a few others and their dogs, and one of them waited for the next. This was a process that would take a few days, so others worked on the scouting and the information-gathering. Ellisan even rented a recreational flyer so she could look over the palace from the air.
It was the most massive, ostentatious building he had ever seen.
Some of it, probably a lot of it, was dedicated to actual governance, but he wondered whether he could run across the grounds in an hour. The large area in front could have served as a killing ground for anyone who approached, but it was covered with statues, flowering plants of various kinds, even cages containing animals, including a few predators larger than a bison that paced back and forth ceaselessly in cages that were really too small for them. There were at least two dozen cages, dozens more statues, and perhaps a hundred displays for plants.
There were also distinctive markers for shields, up against the edges of walls that shone with yellow metal, and the gates looked heavy enough that the train at full speed wouldn't be able to get through them. Guards on the wall walked in heavy armor that looked more ceremonial than functional, and the gate was manned by creatures that Mogan could now recognize as Mantu Meht. Others manned plasma bolters and the repeaters that Mogan thought of as Klokin guns. Ostentatious or not, it was well-defended—and more, any attacker would have to punch through the defenses quickly, before squadrons of Aitish fighters and vehicles could arrive to surround the attacking force from all sides.
It was disheartening. The capital was obviously meant to hold out so long as the armies did, and they simply could not take on the armies stationed on-planet, much less whatever might be in orbit.
As intended, the rest of the San trickled in, a hundred or more per day, as Mogan found places for them to stay. This wasn't a boisterous trip, and while there was no trouble the days seemed to weigh heavily on everyone. The chieftains argued over ideas, and Mogan tried to be subtle about urging them to hurry up. The hours seemed to gain weight, each one bringing them closer to discovery
When they did arrive at a plan, he was pleased to find he had a part in it. And less pleased to find that Ellisan did as well.

I was wondering if anyone trains both repeaters and max hangs each week?
I've been climbing for about 3 years and training for 2 of those. My flash grade is about V4-V5 at my gym and on the moonboard, my max grade is around v6-7. I also have some trad lines I really want to tick off this year, so I want to get back on some endurance training.
I've been doing a single max hangs session once a week for 3 months now and I'd like to add some endurance training on top of that. I've tried DUP style programming in the past but doing 4x4s and endurance training on boulder walls hasn't been that fun for me.
Prior to this training cycle, I took a break from hangboarding and hard climbing because of tendon issues in my elbow. I was doing 7:3 repeaters before that and found them to be very effective, but quite a hard and long session compared to the max hangs sessions I do now.
What's the best way to add some endurance training in? 1 max hang and 1 repeater session each week? single session of 7:53 repeaters? Thanks!

Are bibs supposed to be tight around the groin area or should there be some breathing room? When I am on the bike they feel ok but when I am just standing/sitting around in them for a few minutes they get uncomfortable around the groin area. I am a large in regular clothes so I purchased large bibs and jerseys from Neopro to get started. I've never worn them before so just want to know if this is normal or if I should size up?

Because JJ is taking some much needed time off reviewing and providing his insights into COI, I thought I would provide something in the meantime. I would not call it filling in for JJ, as I am hardly at his level. I’m more like the unofficial side show for this week- providing (hopefully) some humor to help you come to grips with the shit that was spewed by Rick and the gang this week. While I have not had any Skyrizi cocktails, I do randomly call 1-800 numbers and ask them to check my ZIP code. Maybe that qualifies me for this role? I don’t know. But let’s get on with the pain.
We start off this week at the Garden Shaft. Which is this season’s location of the money pit. Craig and Scott are talking to one of the Dumas workers about their progress. They’re at 67 feet and probing for a gold spot along the way. Typical men, working in a new hole and not knowing where the g-spot is at. Clotworthy spews some junk about how significant the garden shaft is because of material dating back 60 years before the discovery of the money pit, and how the garden shaft is located in the “Treasure Zone”, which I’m guessing is the forthcoming name of the Oak Island theme park. Scott says something, but I wasn’t paying attention. Then again, he never says anything important, anyway. So, who cares. Dude has more speaking roles this season than our beloved Billy. Side note: I do find it funny that we’re supposedly in the original money pit, and there’s no talk or concern about the flood tunnels. You know, the fucking tunnels we wasted seasons looking for? Throwing dye into them… Building a fucking damn in the cove. Of course, the flood tunnel theories fell flat. But they won’t acknowledge that, or fess up that maybe all these theories are total bull. Instead, they’ll conveniently mention nothing of it and toss more shit into the frey to keep you off balanced. And, hope you’re more concerned about your moderate to severe plaque psoriasis to notice.
Our next scene is at the quadrilateral. For those of you who don’t know, this is Prometheus’ latest tangent to fill needless episodes. Supposedly, it was mentioned in Dead Nolan’s book, which the Alive Nolan decided to reveal for the first fucking time on the previous episode (I’m sure the book will be published soon, with a forward by Rick. Another book for the kooks to cite and come up with new BS theories to waste our time for the next 5 seasons, at least). Rick, Tom Nolan, “and the rest” as Clotworthy put it (Billy and Gary), are at the Quadrilateral. And thankfully, we are about to get some Billy excavating time. It’s mentioned how the quadrilateral has a mysterious group of boulders on it. I don’t know what’s so mesmerizing about the boulders. And the quadrilateral looks like the state of Nevada, which has a ton of boulders. So, I’m not impressed here. As the digging starts, they uncover “little sticks” which are cut and burnt. This leads to our first wild speculation of the week. Because these little burnt sticks are similar to the ones found under the stone pathway by the swamp, instantly this means that the quadrilateral is made by the people who made the stone pathway. We’re then shown flashbacks to when the crew took a pointless trip to Portugal to look at a stone road. And told once again how the two are so similar and there must be a Portuguese connection to them. They keep digging and Billy notices some clay. Some blue clay. And blue clay was found when they were fucking around in the money pit area and swamp a few seasons ago. We’re then led into our first commercial break. And thank god, because I need slam my head into the desk a few times. It’s bad enough watching this show. Having to then write about it? Fuck me. I’m only doing this one week.
OK. I’m a little dizzy, but we return to the quadrilateral. We got serious Clotworthy bs time. Blue clay in the money pit, swamp, and now in the quadrilateral! So obviously, it’s all connected. That’s now an Oak Island fact. They bring in the Geologist turd guy for 10 seconds to add some sort of authority to this BS claim. But, I’m over this guy. No geologist would let them get away with saying that limestone cavities underground have to be manmade. Fuck off, Rocks for Jocks dude. After he’s pushed to the side, we then get the other quack scientist, Dr. Spooner. I used to like this guy initially. He seemed grounded. Stayed in his lane. But between his water testing, and even dating a fucking nail, this dude is just another sellout on the show who’ll say anything to keep Prometheus happy. He analyzes the clay and finds some more burnt wood. He surmises it cannot be natural. Rick jumps in to say that because there were boulders, it means this is obviously a “safe” and there is something significant below. Of course, he doesn’t want to dig. He wants to wait for Tom Nolan and do more investigating. I’m going to go off on a tangent here, but…
I swear, Rick maybe the entire fucking problem with this crew. Let’s not forget folks, he was a postman, aka, GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE. In other words, he gets nothing done but spends a lot of someone else’s money. It was natural he would end up conning his brother into spending money on this disaster. This show has been on for 10 years. And all they had to do was a dig a big damn hole and see if there’s anything in the ground. Now, if I was given a job of digging a big damn hole, and my boss came up to me 10 years later to ask about the progress, I sure as hell wouldn’t go: “Well, we started digging in the money pit like you asked. But then we wanted to do some sonaradalidar detection and analyze the fuck out of it for inferences to treasure. After that, a few random ass guys with history degrees from Fuck You University came to the island and told us we should dig in other spots. They thought the treasure was [Templar, English, Aztec, French, Portuguese, Pirates, Phoenician, Egyptian, Martian]. So we did that. Found nothing. Then, we drained the swamp near the money pit 3 or 4 times, spent millions on dynamite to scare all the birds away, all to try and get more inferences on what lies below the ground. We also fucked around looking for a dock, and found a stone road. In terms of digging in the money pit area, we drilled tiny fucking holes all over it. Enough to turn it into Swiss cheese. We thought a few times we ‘just came down the edge’ of something. But, instead of just moving a few inches over and drilling again, we went to a new spot, chosen at random and still found nothing. Oh, and we took a shit load of trips to Europe. Just to look at some old castles and carvings, none of which has anything to do with the drilling job.” No, I wouldn’t. I’d have been fucking fired years earlier. But that’s COI. Making the US bureaucracy seem efficient.
Ahem, so after we leave the quadrilateral, “later that afternoon” we go to the war room. I’m excited. Because it’s a meeting time, and we have this week’s tinfoil kook! This week, we have Francisco Nogueira from Portugal. I’m getting giddy and tingly. Not because of any revelations or theories that are going to solve the mystery, but we’re guaranteed some extreme fucking head nodding action. Let’s see what Francisco says. I should not that he speaks perfect English, but gets subtitled (yet, I still barely understand Gary). We’re told that the Azores is a key place for north Atlantic explorers. And then we get into some Templars, Baby B-roll. Clotworthy tells us the Templars went to Portugal, rebranded, and then took their treasure to North America. Makes sense to me! Francisco, who honestly sounds like a hostage reading the terrorists demands after 4 weeks of torture (definitely not from starvation, though) says the Portuguese Knights of Christ were exploring in the 15th and 16th centuries. Were shown some nodding and smiling from Simple Jack and Alex. Our Kook then says the “mysterious” wall is of Portuguese style. I don’t know what specific style he’s talking about. It’s a bunch of fucking rocks stacked on top of one another. I’m sure more civilizations other than the Portuguese knew how to stack rocks on top of each other. However, the revelation is enough to get Simple Jack to exclaim, “No way!” He’s got to be feeling good. After all, it was his detective work that found a big ass fucking tree next to the wall a few weeks ago. Francisco continues. Apparently, only the Portuguese would fill in gaps of a wall with small rocks. I guess this implies that Spain and France were the first to create glory holes. We get more dramatic nodding and amazement. It seems we’re going all in on Portugal now. Fuck off, Duc d'Anville, Francis Beacon, Sinclair, and Long John Silver (I don’t know. I’m sure he’ll get some mention soon). We’ll bring you all back in a few seasons when this shit falls apart and they find nothing. The revelation was enough to cue the dramatic music and a commercial break. Good. I don’t drink alcohol, but I’m going to go look for some cooking sherry or something to help me through this. If not, maybe I’ll inhale some Pam. If anything, it’ll help with this dry nose thing I have going on. I’ll turn the TV up so I can hear if there are any prescriptions I can ask my doctor about.
I found some ice cream and ate myself into an ice cream headache. But it kind of helped with the pain from banging my head int the desk earlier. We return to the war room with our chubby Portuguese kook. I guess his revelations were too much to conclude in one segment. Naturally, we get a recap of what we just heard 4 minutes ago. Because obviously everyone that watches this show has the attention span of a cat who snorted 8 lines of catnip. We’re now told that the Portuguese came to Oak Island, in secret. We get a few seconds of legitimate history regarding King Phillip II of Spain putting the hurt on Portugal. But then we quickly get into bs about missing treasure. And obviously, Portuguese went across the world and dumped it on Oak Island. Long story short, the Knights of Christ decided to put their precious treasure on a boat, sail across the Atlantic, and bury it on an island they never went to before. Dougie jumps in to give us some NSCC-level education about Templars. Never trust a Doug. Finally, Rick gives us one of his garbage corporate meeting wrap ups. And we’ve officially wasted about 10 minutes of show on this garble.
Later that afternoon (this is one fucking long day), we’re back at the quadrilateral. Rick has brought back more people. Spooner once again says the clay shouldn’t be here. And the clay and boulders were transported here. Personally, I think they found Samuel Ball’s septic tank. That’s my guess. Spooner pokes around and conveniently finds something sticking out of one of the sides of the hole. I don’t see Barkhouse, so I’ll assume whatever it is, he planted it like most other shit found on the island. It’s too much for us to comprehend, so another fucking commercial break is in order.
After several more commercials about plaque psoriasis plaguing this nation, we return to the big find. It’s a rusted piece of metal, shaped like a U. Gary claims it’s an iron staple. But this fuck has been wrong a few times this season. I’m guessing we’ll get some Carmen time soon. They keep digging.
The “following morning” we briefly see Scott and Dumbasses still looking for the Garden Shaft’s g-spot. Then we’re taken to the lab with, I guessed it, Carmen. Rick, Marty, and Craig are there. And Emma looks to be checking out Twitter or something. Let me just say, this whole “one day ago” is bull. Rick’s hair is longer and he has a lot more beard than he did “yesterday” afternoon. Carmen says the staple is used to help change the direction of rope and used with a pulley. The crew surmises this means the staple was used to get the boulders in the quadrilateral. Carmen says staples like that were used during medieval times. Clotworthy gives us a diatribe, but I tuned him out. Emma confirms the staple is old. Oh, and it seems she’s using Laird’s Microsoft account. Not cool, Emma. Miriam wouldn’t do that. Also, Prometheus forgot to blur out the date and time on the computer screen. Says 3:49pm. Morning my ass, Clotworthy. And another fucking commercial. I guess the commercials are good for people with overactive bladders. But, you can discover Gemtesa to help with your overactive bladder! Just it’ll give you every time else and likely kill you. Oh, and probably more bladder issues. But they’ll have a pill ready for that, too! Ahem…
We return to the lab. Clotworthy tells us it’s a medieval staple. Also, we are now to call the quadrilateral the “Great Quadrilateral”. I guess that’s an okay name for the hotel at the Treasure Zone.
“Later that afternoon”, we’re back out at the Garden Shaft. Scott failed to find the g-spot, so Rick and Craig have come out to help the Dumbasses probe for it. This obviously means were in for a big moment. A climax, if you will. We’re told that the g post was not found on the eastern wall. So they’re now going to look for it on the west. West sideee, baby. We get a little interview with Marty. He tells us that once they get to the bottom of the hole, they can start probing down and around to look for that g-spot. The Dumbass supervisor speculates that whoever first made the hole was in a rush. My experience with guys is that most are in a rush. This doesn’t surprise me one bit. Craig talks about his experience probing. Unfortunately, no g-spot found this week. And we’re not taken to “the next day” at the war room. I’m guessing this is where we’ll declare victory for the week. Time is running short. More head nodding? Let’s see!
The war room meeting is to get an update on the mysterious wall. Come to think of it, the wall reminds me more of that one from the end of the Shawshank Redemption. Only that wall had something valuable under one of its rocks. But, back to the meeting. We’re practically at all hands-on deck. Simple Jack is in his seat. You know he is revved up for this meeting after his tree discovery. Laird is asked to tell use more about the wall. He says it’s unique and we’re given a flashback of Laird, Miriam, and Alex digging up the wall a few weeks ago. Naturally, this whole scene was just to satisfy the thirsty Miriam-obsessed. Back in the war room, Craig gives us a date on the piece of charcoal found under the stone wall. The range is 1474-1638- Conveniently fitting into this week’s theory of Portuguese treasure. In fact, we’re told that “we know” Portuguese were in the area. I guess if it’s said on COI, it HAS to be true! Simple Jack can’t contain himself anymore and gives us a profound thought to think on for the rest of the week: people don’t build walls for no reason. Wow, Jack. Fucking wow. There’s an old saying that says it’s better to remain silent and appear stupid, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Jack really should try that now and then. We’re given some more shit by NSCC Professor Doug about the Templars, and Rick says we need to keep an open mind until the facts say otherwise.
And that’s the show for this week. Thank Fucking God. I foolishly thought it would be fun to try this with JJ out. Fuck that. JJ, much respect to you. I don’t know how you do it. I’m amazed every week with your reviews/rants. After giving it a go myself, I’m even more perplexed how you get it done. But with that, I’m off to the 24-hour liquor store now. Peace!