Benefit Giveaway

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My ex girl friend went out with some new coworkers and she went and got drunk when we specifically set boundaries to not drink because we don’t do it and she wouldn’t drink much at all. Anyways she went and got black out drunk and had sex with another man but doesn’t remember what happened or who did it. I found out because she was texting her coworker that she wanted to see him and she had a great time and etc. when confronted, she said she doesn’t remember and she doesn’t want to find out either. She told me that someone took advantage of her and she still continues to work there. She said she felt an obligation to text her coworker all the messages I found. It’s unbelievable. How do you feel obligated to text someone you barely met. I’m devastated. I forgave her and I believed her but in the end she distanced her by telling me something is missing in out relationship and I stopped making the effort to spend time with her and I stopped doing the little things. I don’t understand man. The effort didn’t stop. It just slowed down. Because everything was piling on and on. We lived together and I was paying for everything, the last few months of my relationship yes I did lack the effort but I was paying rent and all our bills and even some of her bills. I lacked because everything was getting stressful I would would work 12-16 hour days and be genuinely tired and I just wanted to sleep or play video games just to escape all the stress to build up.
She wouldn’t hold a job and the stress kept building. I told her I would pay for everything until she got a decent job because she wanted to help. She would get a job and once she disliked, she would hop to another one. I didn’t want her to tolerate my lack of effort but just to understand it. But ultimately she ended up leaving and saying I took her for granted and I didn’t prioritize her. In all honesty I tossed my needs out the window just to get us by. I never expected anything from her. So why distance herself when she did this to me? In the end it feels like I’m at fault. I can honestly say I never treated her like crap. I was there for her emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially. Did i make mistakes, yea sometimes I would say something outta line but never to hurt her feelings. I trusted her 100%. I was never toxic. It seemed like a healthy relationship. I tried to fight for our relationships. As much as a fool I was, my heart still yearns for her but I know she’s not coming back. Towards a the end, instead of trying to make her take accountability, she kept throwing my lack of effort in my face. It wasn’t on purpose. I was lost in all the stress and there were many times where she wouldn’t do anything and I would feel unhappy and unappreciated but I never gave up on her. I know everyone get in a rut sometimes even in relationships.
I don’t understand. It feels like my fault and I lost this girl. I’d like some insight from anyone.

Hi, i’m going to try to explain this to the best of my abilities. I live in an apartment complex in Florida, in front of my house is a fence that separates the complex from the strip of houses on the other side. recently a homeless man has set up camp. He has a tarp setup with his clothes hung over the fence. normally i wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t disturbing anyone but everyday he screams. he screams about how he is going to kill everyone and he constantly has people with him and threatens them also. tonight my husband caught the man peeking over the fence into our windows and once the man saw my husband look at him, he ducked. i have blinds but if you have a cat, you know those will not stay in place. our neighbors have kids that play outside and i am just very uncomfortable even taking the trash out anymore. I don’t even know if this was worth the post because my apartment complex said they couldn’t do anything because it isn’t their property. i just want to know if i were to call the police, if they would be able to do anything. thank you for taking the time to comment advice if you do!

So like; obviously we're not dating, and haven't for years now. We keep in touch here and there and of course, I help them out when I can if they are in trouble. (Because that's just how I am, helping others--And treating others the way I want to be treated.) But--There was a slight catch within it. While we ended things, she also wanted me to talk to her when I could and tell her if I ever dated, had sex, etc. With someone else; just in the off-chance that we ever did go down that road again together. If I ever open that door again; and vice versa. Which I'm kinda....Not really about, but thought it seemed fair considering how she's still in my life...However.... When I saw her again and spoke to her long ago sorta recently(?); she randomly changed up while I was helping her move. And said "...I don't think who I'm fucking, dating, etc. Is honestly any of your business." Despite me just simply talking to her about where we stood mutually, so that there was no confusion. The only reason I mention it, is because around that time--We turned on each other's location if there was ever an emergency. As I did with my little brother and other friends and family who are in my life. Now I don't check in on her like that when it comes to where she is all the time; and do a small "Check-In" Call once every blue moon, but lately...She hasn't picked up, returned and even hung up on some of my calls. Not even some texts. (A little backstory, she moved in with her best friend co-workers recently after fighting looking for an apartment n such; so I always assume she's either partying or just busy slammed with work) And the one time I check-in quickly; I peek at her location after its been a little while. And mid-streaming on Twitch; I see her location isn't at her usual place wit her friends...But at a hotel far north of town. I felt...I don't know. Mad? Conflicted? Sad? My mind only assumes the deed is being done. And I know I shouldn't give a fuck but like--I don't know. I feel so mixed, but I felt my heart drop. TL;DR : My ex and I used to be in contact with eachother constantly until about a month ago. Prior to that we spoke about letting eachother know who we're dating/Having sex with in the event we decided to get back together but she later--Forgo'ed this rule when we last saw eachother. She has not returned calls or texts of mine, and when I decide to check up on her location and see she's not at home, but at a hotel about 30 mins. Away from her house. I feel like I shouldn't feel anything, but it caused me to almost break down in a heartbreak and I don't know why, nor what to do.
What should I do in this moment?

A couple of weeks ago I was looking for some extra funds and came across an ad of a woman who was moving out of her apartment because of water damage. She paid me $90 to move all the ruined furniture out of her place to the dump, and a few boxes to a storage facility. Job took maybe 3-4 hours in total. The problem stems from me (unintentionally) sharing some private info with her about my personal life because I was upset about a specific family situation. Now she texts me constantly and if I don’t respond to the texts she will call. When she calls it’s not even about anything important she will go on and on about something at her job or something or someone that upset her. I’ve literally sat my phone on the bed with the speaker on while she’s venting and only responded with “yea” and “uh huh” until she’s done. She says she considers me a friend and tells me if I ever want to talk to her about anything to call her anytime of day or night; even though we never knew each other until recently. I’d block her if it wasn’t for the fact that she paid me through CashApp (again) to help her move one more big item. Our schedules haven’t synced up which is why we haven’t moved said item yet .
If it matters I’m Male mid 30s and she’s is somewhere in mid to late 40s. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Also, I have trouble controlling my emotions 90% of the time so I feel if I were to try to tell her how I feel about this I’ll probably end up getting really upset and or going off on her. Please help me!

I (24M) have been going out with my girl (23F) for just over 5 years now, we've had a good start but it slowed down tremendously. In these years we went from seeing each other in the UNI almost everyday to graduating and seeing each other only a couple times a month to maybe once every three or so months when we lived two blocks apart. I'm not sure what happened, but things got worse from there, our communication gap increased, she doesn't reply very often, and I'm not here to sit for her one sec replies, ofc everyone needs their time but I'm talking even in important conversations she would leave midway and come back later and give me the silliest of the reasons. Anyways, so her parents are orthodox so she can't exactly tell them that she's dating me, so we're stuck in an infinite loop where she won't talk to them and if she don't we can't see each other, don't get time to talk to each other (via texts) because her and my work times are very different so it's difficult to talk in between but when we can she says her parents don't like her being on the phone too much, this chick is independent, earning, and capable and this is the thing she's going through at her place. Our relationship is drying up, it's been sexless, I've tried being intimate, but we rarely see each other so we can't do anything and she has anxiety in coming over to my place even after my parents being very welcoming and knowing our situation, although I don't go asking her over and over because I know it'll add to her insecurities but it is a problem, 5 years I've had no physical relation her with, we have done most of what any close friends could do. And with the communication gap (never calls, or video calls only text) she's not been able to support me mentally either because we had developed a relationship where I would share my thoughts with her but not anymore. I had to move places and now live about an hour ish far from her and now it's even worse that we can't see each other even more than we couldn't.
I know I am not to look for beneficial things in a relationship but this has been a very one way feeling recently, all the reasons she gives me feels like excuses, I feel like an option and not a priority. Currently all she wants to do is earn money, idk if she has anything to do with me anymore. She even agreed she never has sexual desires, she texts me very rarely and only when she wants. I love her dearly and I know she has feelings too but this is taking a big toll on my head, do I give it up?

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.
(6)
Expectations of You:
I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!

I’ve had my kitten for over a month and he’s 3 months old now. We have an upstairs loft in the apartment, and the spiral staircase is one of his favorite things to play on. It’s carpeted, so the couple times he has slipped he was thankfully able to catch himself and hasn’t really done it since. However, the bannister up there is around 18 feet high, and NOT carpeted. He’s jumped up there once while I was up there doing laundry and almost slipped, but I was able to grab him off. I’m terrified he’s going to do it again when I’m not around and actually go falling down into the hardwood kitchen below. The bannister sits on like a half-wall that he can easily jump onto, and if he falls I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself because it’s a wooden ledge. The loft is also an open space so there’s no way to close it off completely.
I was just hoping to hear some advice from anyone on how I can prevent him from getting up there without making it worse (like putting tinfoil would only startle him then he could still fall) or reassure me that if he fell he would be okay. Anyone else experience this?

I’m a girl and have been dating a girl who is diagnosed with bipolar. We’re both the same age 25 but I’m in a much better place than her in life. I have a master's degree, a good job, and live in my apartment in a nice area. While she just started online university, lives with her friend rent free, parties every weekend, her parents pay for her, and she recently quit her job.
I am more successful than her but it didn’t matter to me because I care more about our connection and felt like she’s passionate about her future goals. One thing that bothered me was she never wanted me to pay for anything, I told her I want to take her on the next date and she insisted on paying for it. She then asked her dad to pay for the next date which is ridiculous because I could easily afford it.
Eventually, I found out she cheats on her exams so that was disappointing. When she came to my apartment for the first time, she asked me how am I affording it and I said “I work” She then said “oh so I’m paying for our dates and you’re paying for rent” I felt that it made her uncomfortable. She was being affectionate and physical for 3 hours straight so I thought everything was good. She got extremely drunk that night.
Then the next day she broke up with me because dating stresses her out and she invited me to go partying with them instead. I’m so frustrated because she didn’t explain what was wrong. Do you think she felt guilty because I’m more successful and she wanted chaos?

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.
(6)
Expectations of You:
I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!

So like; obviously we're not dating, and haven't for years now. We keep in touch here and there and of course, I help them out when I can if they are in trouble. (Because that's just how I am, helping others--And treating others the way I want to be treated.) But--There was a slight catch within it. While we ended things, she also wanted me to talk to her when I could and tell her if I ever dated, had sex, etc. With someone else; just in the off-chance that we ever did go down that road again together. If I ever open that door again; and vice versa. Which I'm kinda....Not really about, but thought it seemed fair considering how she's still in my life...However.... When I saw her again and spoke to her long ago sorta recently(?); she randomly changed up while I was helping her move. And said "...I don't think who I'm fucking, dating, etc. Is honestly any of your business." Despite me just simply talking to her about where we stood mutually, so that there was no confusion. The only reason I mention it, is because around that time--We turned on each other's location if there was ever an emergency. As I did with my little brother and other friends and family who are in my life. Now I don't check in on her like that when it comes to where she is all the time; and do a small "Check-In" Call once every blue moon, but lately...She hasn't picked up, returned and even hung up on some of my calls. Not even some texts. (A little backstory, she moved in with her best friend co-workers recently after fighting looking for an apartment n such; so I always assume she's either partying or just busy slammed with work) And the one time I check-in quickly; I peek at her location after its been a little while. And mid-streaming on Twitch; I see her location isn't at her usual place wit her friends...But at a hotel far north of town. I felt...I don't know. Mad? Conflicted? Sad? My mind only assumes the deed is being done. And I know I shouldn't give a fuck but like--I don't know. I feel so mixed, but I felt my heart drop.
TL;DR : My ex and I used to be in contact with eachother constantly until about a month ago. Prior to that we spoke about letting eachother know who we're dating/Having sex with in the event we decided to get back together but she later--Forgo'ed this rule when we last saw eachother. She has not returned calls or texts of mine, and when I decide to check up on her location and see she's not at home, but at a hotel about 30 mins. Away from her house. I feel like I shouldn't feel anything, but it caused me to almost break down in a heartbreak and I don't know why, nor what to do.
What should I do in this moment?

Hey all, I was planning on 3D printing an indoor ebb and flow tower to grow some basil in my apartment, but then saw a quick video of the tower and realized it involves a lot of dribbling water. We have a cat fountain and when it gets low it makes a similar sound and it drives my boyfriend absolutely insane. Is there a way to avoid this/ schedule it to run only at night? Are there other, less loud vertical systems that would be good for an apartment? Thanks so much.

So, I've thought about this idea about bringing Vecna as the end-all big bad for a while and have hinted about it to my players out of game. "When you eventually make your way back home, life won't be the same as when you left" type of thing. I got the Rise and Fall of Vecna and the Doomed Forgotten Realms off DMGuild with the Vecna dossier from DnDbeyond, and probably going to modify it a bit if I decide to go through with it.
I have this idea that Tasha/Iggwilv has been kind of keeping a not at full strength Vecna at bay from entering her realm, but the hags have taken Prismeer for Baba Yaga. So now Vecna has made it to the Forgotten Realms, gained enough power to be cause hell, and our heros weren't there to save the day. It's an idea that hasn't really formed completly and I am not really sure how I should reveal it at the end of the campaign when we get there. They currently just beheaded Bavlorna (I have another plan with that) and are probably going to head to Thither to kill Nightshade in the next session or two.
We plan to switch DMs to my wife and play Curse of Strahd after we are done with WBtW so I'm not even sure if I should make this the end game. We've discussed about what they all want to do with their characters once we reach the end but it's still to early to tell.
My forever DM is one of my players and I'm a relatively new DM running the longest game with only DMing a different online game that fell apart several sessions in. And my wife is one of the players. Anyway, just wanted to talk a bit about my current game since I don't really have anyone to talk and flesh out ideas with.
Also, anyone have any ideas how to make the hags more threatening? Through a deck of Daddy Things, my players are at level 5. I should've been more conservative with the leveling but too late now.

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I'm so empty and tired, if there was a way a meteor could come kill me while leaving my pets unharmed I would welcome it.
I moved, got sent to the psych ward, when I got out I was two months rent behind, no one could help me. I tried to go back to work but I was still unwell and I lost job. Now I owe 3000 dollars and am about to get amd I am struggling to get a new job and I am still strgguling with my mental health but now I have no insurance.
I can't even go back to the psych ward bc I DON'T HAVE FUCKING TIME if I go back my financial situation will get worse and what will happen to my pets???? But fuck I can't live like this anymore I can't! I just want to die
I'm trapped in this stupid hole of poverty amd it doesn't matter how hard I work or how much I destroy my body I'll never escape and be comfortable. I'm about to be homeless AGAIN. I can't do this anymore, i don't have anyone except my pets, I just can't take anymore, I don't know what to do anymore. Sorry for typos, crying too hard to see screen clealry.

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Within the past year and a half, my whole life has fallen apart. I'm a highschool sophmore, and up until highschool I was the golden standard of a student. But now I can't function, I honestly am not sure how I crawl out of bed everyday. I've recently been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and adhd. I also have realized I am a victim of childhood emotional neglect. I am not diagnosed, but I suspect I may have CPTSD. I go to bed every night hoping I never wake up. And still I wake up every morning disappointed. I can't sleep, I think I may have developed and eating disorder, and I'm failing classes left and right. I've tried talking to people about it, and they seem to understand the events, but they can't relate. I feel like I'm drowning. Realistically I know that people do understand, but I have yet to see any evidence of such. I think I might be writing this as a call for help, but I'm not sure what anyone can do to help me at this point, or even if I want it. I am cared about, and I care for others, but I still feel like the walls of life are closing in around me. I'm fighting hard to hold on for the people I love, but I'm so tired.

it was so difficult to write the card without smiling & tearing up bcos i rly, RLY love him v much fml i am such a simp 😵‍💫
i have been talking to him for one year six months, but we only grew closer when i downloaded sc for him in feb/mar and we kinda became mutually exclusive without a label on our rs. which is perfectly fine by me because we both discussed on wanting to see where this goes and whether it’s worth getting serious.
for context, i alr knew him since we were 13, became an item at 14, drifted apart bcos we were both stupid & immature and now we reconnected 6 years later 😋
since then, we talked EVERYDAY. about anyth & everyth. he alw replays my snaps, saves them in chat & compliments me. he asks me to send more pics of myself bcos ‘he wants to see pretty’.
he notices every little change in mood i have (due to sch) & cheers me up with lame dad jokes. he remembers small details & sends me memes/reels that reminds him of me. he watched romcom movies to understand me better. he asks about my family because he wants to know them.
he hopes i am happy everyday & sends me voice notes / calls me and istg nothing makes me happier :” he calls me darling & honey & sweetie A LOT and even picks up on my lingo (i alw say ‘goodnight loveya muah’) so it j became a thing between us. he tells me to stay safe whenever i go home late at night, starts convos a lot and sends gm/gn messages everyday.
he created a spotify playlist for me & alw updates it every two months bcos he knows how much i love music (and our music taste is v similar)
he wrote an entire paragraph on a random afternoon j telling me how much he adores me and stated that he has ONLY my notifs on :”
he knows i don’t like it when chats are deleted (bcos it can lead to miscomms) so everytime he deletes smtg, he tells me why (usually a typo) but that gesture means a lot to me.
and i am not on my phone 24/7 either and i love love love how understanding and respectful he is of my own personal time.
have i mentioned he’s the smartest, hardworking & hottest man i know?
i am so deeply in love with him for 10 months & i cant wait to meet him soon and give him a hug bcos i missed him sm 🥺

So like; obviously we're not dating, and haven't for years now. We keep in touch here and there and of course, I help them out when I can if they are in trouble. (Because that's just how I am, helping others--And treating others the way I want to be treated.) But--There was a slight catch within it. While we ended things, she also wanted me to talk to her when I could and tell her if I ever dated, had sex, etc. With someone else; just in the off-chance that we ever did go down that road again together. If I ever open that door again; and vice versa. Which I'm kinda....Not really about, but thought it seemed fair considering how she's still in my life...However.... When I saw her again and spoke to her long ago sorta recently(?); she randomly changed up while I was helping her move. And said "...I don't think who I'm fucking, dating, etc. Is honestly any of your business." Despite me just simply talking to her about where we stood mutually, so that there was no confusion. The only reason I mention it, is because around that time--We turned on each other's location if there was ever an emergency. As I did with my little brother and other friends and family who are in my life. Now I don't check in on her like that when it comes to where she is all the time; and do a small "Check-In" Call once every blue moon, but lately...She hasn't picked up, returned and even hung up on some of my calls. Not even some texts. (A little backstory, she moved in with her best friend co-workers recently after fighting looking for an apartment n such; so I always assume she's either partying or just busy slammed with work) And the one time I check-in quickly; I peek at her location after its been a little while. And mid-streaming on Twitch; I see her location isn't at her usual place wit her friends...But at a hotel far north of town. I felt...I don't know. Mad? Conflicted? Sad? My mind only assumes the deed is being done. And I know I shouldn't give a fuck but like--I don't know. I feel so mixed, but I felt my heart drop.