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I've been seeing people do this before, I never really thought you could just go
to My Profile and post something.
It's kinda funny, in a sense, because if you have no followers, these posts will go unnoticed until someone bothers to open your profile and look at your posts.
So, hi, random redditor, or me from the future, whomever finds this post first, I hope you're having a good day.
So, what will I do with this post? Explain my kinks? Perhaps put some reference for the characters I will roleplay as?
Not really, so sorry if I disappointed you because you came to this post looking for that.
That's a funny thing, you see, the characters I roleplay as, they do have some... well, character.
Adam Meq is the first I can think of, you can find him in some of my comments, if you look hard enough.
I pulled him out of a small simplistic story I created on the fly to have some idea of what character I'll roleplay as.
Which, by the way, would be the one roleplay I would be responding to right now, but apparently LimeAlt (would it be creepy to tag them on this? Probably) forgot about it, or they have something better to do.
You can check their profile, they have some nice erp scenarios posted on IWantToBeHerHentai2
, though I doubt they'll answer to those, at the time of writing, most seem to be on standby (perhaps they went to DMs?).
Speaking of IWantToBeHerHentai2
, there's this guy I've been seeing on various posts, megascrub22, seems like a cool guy.
You know, it does feel sort of odd to "know" these people.
Luna-Darklight, Sub_Xaya, Need_for_NSFW, ugghivenh, Submissive_Harpy, Weird-Ad-8828
Those are some of the names off of the top of my head that I've seen on that sub.
Weird how I don't really know those people, yet I still am somewhat glad to recognize them.
Talk about a parasocial interaction, eh?
Of course, I'm not delusional. These people don't know me and I don't know them, we aren't friends nor acquaintances by any means.
Still, some sympathy of mine manages to seep through, I would feel bad about those guys if something bad happened to them!
Is it stupid? You could really say so.
I don't think it is. I think it's nice to find some empathy with other people, even if you don't really know them.
Like, when you see people walking by you on the street, you don't know them, nor do you wish them any evil. Then that guy at the corner of the street trips on himself and falls flat on his face and embarassing himself. You do stop and think "Poor fella", no? Maybe after having a short chuckle, because people tripping is sometimes funny.
I guess I'll use this post as a sort of notebook? I do sometimes just jump onto my alt account to pass time, reading the many different scenarios people roleplay, especially when they put loads of effort in it, it's pretty gratifying.
Like a good story well told, y'know?
I don't know how to close this, so I'll just recommend you a song, random redditor. In a Little Second Hand Store, by Layton and Johnstone
A short song that speaks of the melancholy of seeing objects relating to a failed relationship, with the guilt you would feel manifesting as if the objects were speaking to you, begging to make amends with your significant other and "take them back where they belong."
Pretty sweet song, if you ask me. Maybe you know it because it was sampled for some tracks in Everywhere At The End Of Time, I think. Now that I think about it, I don't know how to remark time has passed, maybe I should use some formatting or whatever, but it feels more proper if I don't mention how much time passes between entry and entry, but just that some time passed inbetween each.
Like, doesn't the mystery of "was it a week? a month? an year?" kind of appeal?
Maybe not, I don't really know.
At most, I had a sort of crappy day, but I wasn't really unproductive, I did get some stuff done that I would've rather not kept until the last moment.
I also checked the statistics of this post, apparently it has 60-something views? I'm guessing some random karma-farming bots are scanning my account for booming posts to get their internet points.
Well, too bad for them, this post will likely not see human interaction until someone chooses to bother to see my profile!
Speaking of human interaction, I sometimes do thank the world for not being born a woman.
Like, yeah, some women have it easier on the whole "emotions" department, but on sexual harrasment? That probably is a thing some of us guys should be glad we aren't experiencing.
Even then, trying to show how both genders (and non-binary pals as well) have complications set out against them due to an unaccepting society, I still had to stop to remark "some."
Men can be sexually harrased.
Women can have trouble expressing their emotions.
It's a double-edged sword that hurts everyone, but online media keeps seeking to exploit those vulnerabilities of us through a made-up enmity, just so that each side feels more valued for what they're worth.
That could really apply to anything with "black and white" mentality (pun intended, if it even counts as a pun).
Dystopian, this world we live in.
It's really easy to just forget how most of us are just people trying to live until tomorrow, to have a happy life.
We create enemies where there should be friends.
We shun those who attempt to share their experiences of joy and glee.
We burn happy moments for the dimmest of warmth we want, not appreciating the warmth they already provide.
Still, being ashamed of such behavior is good, recognizing the flaws in our logics is human, and pretty healthy as well!
But it is kind of weird for us to seek out so much evil.
So much so, it's something in out instincts to seek out bad things so that we can find a way to solve them.
And that applies to the weirdest of cases! Like you can just be feeling bad about stubbing your toe, but then you can think "Oh well, at least I didn't crash my car" and it somehow works!
It's weird to think that such a comparative nature is literally embedded into our consciousness, but it's there, so we have to try and work around it to find joy in what truly matters.
Be glad other people are being happy, and try to be glad for every step you take, no matter how small. It's weird how everything in the internet never truly stops existing.
Like, it's somewhat of a Schrödinger's cat kind of deal.
It both exists and doesn't, until someone recognizes it.
For example, this post.
You could forget about it in an hour, a day, a week, and remember it in various intervals, or just outright forget it.
Does something "exist" after that?
Because within logic, yes, my post exists, there are archive sites where you can see deleted posts, so it's not like it's unrecoverable even if I delete it, but I'm also the only one that knows
of this post (or so I think).
Not trying to sound nihilistic here, I just find it odd that our perception of reality is as much of reality as we can make it out to be.
Because, well, if I'm the only one that knows of this post, there's no way somebody else can say "Oh, yeah, that exists", because I could just be dreaming or hallucinating right now, and this post is not real.
Or you are dreaming, and you're about to wake up.
It does come off rather odd just how the concept of "existing" is as flawed as the things that "exist".
It might be one of those dumb thoughts that are best kept in my head, but, hey, this post doesn't exist now, does it? So, recently I've been checking out some more of IWantToBeHerHentai2
, and it turns out that I've found myself getting more into the stories than the sex (which, yeah, is sort of dumb considering it's a subreddit dedicated to porn, but sometimes people put so much effort into what they roleplay that it feels unfair for it to go unappreciated, y'know?)
It also turns out that I've grown this urge to have the luck to be able to roleplay this pair of specific scenarios:
One with a tentacle-esque alien, but with a notable focus on how it's not only extra-terrestrial, but also how animalistic and somewhat childish it can behave, with some creep factor added to it.
The other is about the relationship an average slasher horror movie antagonist and protagonist have, where they have this dynamic where the slasher gets rid of the creeps around the protagonist's life while keeping her constantly ready to defend herself and always pumped full with the good type of adrenaline, while the protagonist always does the classic slasher movie ending where she shoots the killer so it looks like he died, only for him to come back for another movie; but in this story she does it to help him rid himself of legal turmoil for the crimes he committed so he can help her again next month.
I really like those two stories and how I'd imagine they develop, but I can't post them to IWantToBeHerHentai2
because both positions I want to be in count as "male-gaze", and I don't want to post in IWantToFuckHerHentai
because... Idk, the sub seems kind of lame? Sorry if you frequent that subreddit, but it just doesn't appeal to me.
So, yeah, that's tearing me in some sense, because I'd love to put those two stories out, but it just looks like I'm between a rock and a hard place on options, so yeah, I leave it to luck for someone in IWantToBeHerHentai2
to open up any chance for me to play out any of those stories. Wow, how has time passed, huh? "New year, new me!"
Except there's no new me, I'm still a person that committed mistakes and is generally unwell (maybe, I don't have a "perfectly sane human" graph to compare myself to), but I guess the ever growing maturity one experiences is enough for me to feel... better, about some of my choices.
I think I let go better of my porn addiction (shocking, someone that feels like they need to make an alt account dedicated entirely to porn has porn addiction?!), I don't find myself unable to get close to my loved ones due to jacking off as often, but I still masturbate about daily, checking out Rule34, multporn, and other porn sites and such, even when I'm not necessarily horny. Perhaps I enjoy reading horny people saying horny stuff? I dunno.
If it were to concern you, internet stranger, I AM doing my best to better myself, how successful that attempt is, hard to know as I'm the only judge for the issues I keep to myself, but I'm also working on that, so yeah.
Today's song is Tick Tock
(been a while since I last did something of the likes), by Joji
, a song many relate to the funny tf2 gay porn meme, but is also a good song in of itself. Though, I think that's just a constant with Joji's songs... Well, I think I devised a good system to kick back against my porn addiction.
It's basically some sort of "token" system for every day I don't cum, meaning that even if I do jack off, I don't get rewarded with cumming. It's a good way of practicing abstinence and keeping my urges in check.
As for the rest of things, I got around to writing my main super story, which does need a few loving touches here and there, but for the most part it's already pretty much set to go off.
"There's no bad ideas, only bad executions."
I really hope I execute this story well enough. Well, that whole "token" system seems to be working good enough, add in some advice from other people dealing with porn addiction and I've been doing pretty well!
The advice I found was something along the lines of "It's alright to feel the need to masturbate, it's your sex drive, if you can't masturbate properly without porn, you're not horny enough," and that was pretty useful! If I do get a random hard-on, I can basically deduct that it's due to my sex drive and then deal with it, but if I get hard looking at porn, I try my best to put it down and do something else, which usually ends up in my boner going down.
Yay to having control over my urges!
On another note, I feel like I want to talk about my interest in women, which, obviously serves no purpose other than to vent and be horny, but hey, this is my journal and the account is literally called thisismyaccforporn sooo... yeah, there was bound to be some horny-posting.
And I mean... WOMEN
WOMAB WEMEB MM-MMM, WIMAN
I love women, man.
I love all women, tall women, short women, thick women, slim women, muscular women, love me some women and love them all.
Like, I'm not a picky guy, but that's not because my standards are low, it's just that like ??? All women are gorgeous and have their appeal?????
Take for example, tall women! I love how tall women can big spoon so easily, they can help you with stuff you can't reach and tease you about height difference.
Then you get into the erotic side and you have a perfect set-up for a David and Goliath type of roleplay that just slaps. The two outcomes are godly! Either the tall lady doms you and takes full control of your body, or you take the lead as the shorter person and that does funky shit to your self-esteem yo.
And now we have short women! What's not to love about a sweet little ankle-biter? Widdle goblin, widdle spoon, widdle kissies, how do you say no to any of that?
A short woman can jump on you and barely shift your weight and, congrats! Now you have an adorable koala lady ready for cuddles!
On the sex topic, yeah, short women make for portable onaholes, who hasn't heard that one? But short women are the other side of the same coin that tall women are in; as in, having a short woman dominate you is a whole-ass thing you're not
mentally prepared for.
Thick women??? Chubby ladies????? H o l y s h i t . Like, who gave chubby ladies the right to be so cute and loveable and kissable and soft and warm and ??????? Like, on god, how are you both a human and a perfect body pillow at the same time?!
As for sex, I think that big ladies have it settled, at least with guys like me. If I thrust once and that thing jiggle jiggles, you already know that it will flip a switch in my brain to make me go full monkey mode.
Slim women... why you so cute tho. Like, okay, slim girls, you have no titties, but why do all of you look like you will hug me and tell me I'm good enough and cook me my favorite meal to make me feel better like ?!?!?! Hello? Marry me right now???
And beyond that, having small/no tiddies isn't as bad as you wanna portray it, small breasts generally have much more sensitive nipples than bigger breasts, so you bet I'm giving some smooch and loving to them nipples as foreplay. MUSCULAR WOMEN.
KILL ME RIGHT NOWWW
ONE PUNCH AND I'M DEAD, I'M SMALL AND WEAK AND JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THOSE ARMSSSSS
LITERAL GODESS ON THIS LAND WTF
Beyond being most likely doms, one of my fetishes is a muscular woman being a total sub and the disparity between woman that can kill me/woman that doesn't know how to take the lead will drive me into the sky.
If anything, I'd love to drool over those abs for weeks on end, but overall, you should make sure that as a woman, you have enough bodily fat to sustain your body's estrogen production (12% of your body weight should be fat, if I do recall?), which means that many "show muscle" cases can be dangerous to your health.
That's one of my only "picky" standards, if you could call it such; I want my partner to stay healthy, and I'm not dumb, I recognize healthy bodies when I see them, which is why I love chubby women but obese women worry me; obesity is no joke, man.
Outside of that small maybe-sad note, I wonder how many guys feel like me, as in "I love all women," but just don't vocalize it cause it's not... "necessary"?
Like, those loud minorities of men that make a checklist out of their date's requirements definetly put a bad rep into the whole dating game, but not every single straight man in the world can be like that, so I do just wonder.
On that note of "straight," how wrong is it if I want to fuck a femboy?
Am I disrespectful to gay people because I'm not interested in the actual "manly" part of a femboy and am only attracted to the femininity?
What if I see no problem fucking a femboy, but when it comes to forming a stable romantic relationship with that femboy, I see how it all falls apart?
By definition, you could say I'm bisexual and heteroromantic, but that's a mouthful, and I'm not really "bisexual" as is, I really do just find femboys attractive for the whole "cutesy feminine appeal" thing they got going on, I don't think I'd see myself having sex with a "manly" man.
I dunno, maybe I'm too tired and sleepy to get a proper answer, but oh well, it's best to vent these feelings and thoughts somewhere, rather than bottle 'em up.
But, yeah, all that attraction to so many different women; and I still get a negative amount of bitches. Today I killed a mouse.
No catch, really, no haha gotcha, plot twist or anything, I killed a mouse.
I know it's silly to make such a big fuss about it, since I'm no vegan or something of the sorts, I've killed mosquitos, flies, spiders, things of the sorts.
But never... a mouse. Or any mammal, for that matter.
Recently my cat has been bringing dead mice home; which is disgusting, but I get the reasoning from a cat's perspective.
Well, this last mouse wasn't quite dead, and instead hid behind a closet for the while I wasn't home.
I only found out it was there because she finally pulled it out from behind the closet, just for it to hide inside my home's radiator.
I know a live mouse in my home is dangerous for me and my family, but damn, I didn't wanna kill a mouse, so I just used a knife's blunt edge to knock it out of the radiator's notches and let my cat kill it.
Only then my dog jumps in and starts stomping on it.
I was already feeling bad for its squeaks when it was scared in the radiator, but damn.
By the time I looked back at it, poor thing was under the paw of a 40-something kilo dog, which was just sniffing it and playing with it.
And my cat wasn't doing anything about it.
That mouse was just suffering in a corner of my home while my dog just wondered why the little thing stopped squeaking.
By the time I noticed my dog had stopped "playing", I saw that mouse struggling to move. It was quite obvious due to the sheer difference in size, the mouse was really hurt, it struggled to walk and, I guess I noticed its back was hurt or... something.
It was struggling and suffering, and obviously my two oblivious pets weren't going to put it out of its misery quickly, so I realized I had to take matters into my hand.
I grabbed a different knife, one with a wooden handle; two plastic bags to serve as gloves and a lot of courage to just put the thing out of its misery.
God, now that I think about it, that mouse didn't even manage to fight back when I touched it, it just struggled to move some more before giving up.
Killing it was... uncomfortable. Having never killed something that size before gave me no idea of what to properly do, but I gathered all the anatomy knowledge I had and I started hitting the base of its skull with the knife's handle (I didn't want to make a mess that I would have to clean up.) I just hit like four times, unsure of what marks a mouse as "dead for sure", but I saw its legs twitch and I had to step away to take a breather.
When I came back, my cat had flipped it on its back and it sure as hell wasn't breathing. Then to the usual bag-and-to-the-trash-we-go.
I dunno, one would think this would be my "remorseless killing of people" pipeline or something, but it's just me feeling bad for killing a pest.
Not even that, it was more putting it out of its misery, but I still feel bad, like it was unfair, or undeserved. Ah well, it seems this little silly diary of mine has come to an end.
I think I can proudly say I feel a lot better than when I felt the need to write this! (Which may be the reason I don't feel like writing anymore on this post lol)
But oh well, no harm's done I guess; after all, this sort of venting did end up helping me keep my head straight for a while, something I couldn't be more thankful for.
The last song I'll recommend is I Would Rather, by Jazz Emu
I would rather end this venty type of post on a rather silly and happy note than a moody and sad one.
Again, sorry if I killed your horny mood by being unexpectedly moody in a porn alt account, but it is my account, and in the end, it's my choice what I do with it, so I dob't feel too guilty about it.
Bye then! And wish you the best, dear reader, as well as to future me!