Bored corona kids

My bf and I are t4t, and he says I'm a big reason why he felt confident discovering himself early in his transition
I tell him it's something that came from within, but I'm glad I could be there for him
He says I helped him feel confident in starting T knowing he wouldn't have to be on it alone
By the time we met I had already been on it for almost a year
Our first time meeting we went to pride, he painted little hearts on our faces with the trans flag on them
I still remember sitting in his car while he did my makeup, watching him do his
I still remember holding his hand and walking through that crowd that parted for us, recognizing and respecting us before we were even dating, like they could see what we'd become
I still remember sitting on the stairs and just talking to him
How after pride we drove to a McDonald's and he talked about his Lady Gaga obsession, both of us gushing over The Fame. He showed me that performance where she started pouring fake blood everywhere and I was in awe
Laughing, drinking boba
Sitting on the swings at the park, sitting in the grass like we were just two kids at recess. Watching the sun set
I cherish that summer we met
Holding hands in the car driving down the highway listening to Deftones. Rosemary, Bored, and Mascara
Him helping me connect with our culture, teaching me little bits of Spanish
Walking to the gas station in the snow, the concrete slick with ice, we threw big pieces of it in the road just to watch it break
Going to the park in the middle of the night just to be kids again
For as much as I helped him, I think he's helped me even more without realizing it
I hope we're together for a long time 😊

I need some advice and to learn more about CPS and what to expect. This is going to be pretty long so will include a TLDR.
My sister "L" (32f) is an awful parent. She is constantly living in a home filled with animal feces, no food, no plumbing, etc. She still thinks she's 25, and is constantly out partying with whichever new boyfriend she has that week. My neice "T" (13f) is a great kid but has grown up in this awful situation. L leaves T alone for hours at a time during all hours of the night while she is out at the bars. T calls me at least once a week to tell me what her mom is doing and that she's bored. Her house is near horder level, filled with all sorts of cat and dog feces.
Let me preface by saying that I should've called CPS long ago, but I didn't want to be responsible for my sister losing her daughter.
Fast forward to this week. L has a new boyfriend with lots of money and was preparing to go on a 5 state vacation with him. T was not invited. T called me and told me she was staying with a friend during this time. I didn't realize until yesterday that she had lied to me. She was home by herself in this disgusting house with no food. If I would have known she was by herself, I would've let her stay with me, as would the rest of my family.
Last night, someone called CPS. I suspect it was T, and that this is her way of putting her mom in her place/giving her a wake up call, however this is not confirmed. The police showed up, took several pictures of the house, and sent her to a foster home for the night. The rest of my family tried to take her instead, however the police said it was too late to do background checks (it was about 10pm). My neice is terrified, obviously, but is with a safe family a city away. She still had her phone last night, but hasn't texted me back this morning, I assume the family took it.
Some of my family is on their way to L's house to clean and throw everything away. L is still several states away with no return in sight for the next couple of days. My father is going to get custody of T today and be her foster parent until L can get her back.
Now here is where I need info. My family thinks that if they clean the house, L will be able to take T back immediately. However, I don't believe this for a minute. Due to the state of the house, I assume that L will have to find a job (she's unemployed), take a drug test( she does several recreational drugs), and prove to CPS that T is safe there. I can see this being at least a month long process, if not more. I've read on the sub that a lot of times it takes years to get the child back. My sister is an awful parent, and thinks that this is just normal things.
I am just looking for some insight on what the process of getting your child back looks like. Any help is much appreciated.
TLDR: Niece is in a foster home, sister thinks she is going to get her back immediately, need info on the process for getting your child back. Sisters house is disgusting and she's a deadbeat parent.
Edit: I am in Idaho.

Every week at work we have these "teambuilding" meetings where we're supposed to set work aside for a bit and just hang out with the team, chat about random stuff, our lives, what we've been watching lately, what we're up to...
They suck.
Normally they're supposed to be an hour long, an hour and a half at most, but today it ended up lasting nearly two hours, and it was so boring it should be considered workplace abuse. My coworkers did nothing but talk about pointless boring shit, mostly consumerist bullshit like "I want to buy a dishwasher!" "I bought a new projector for my room!" "I bought my kids a 60'' TV!" or random pointless stories like "I went to [expensive restaurant by the beach] and ate a meat sandwich". Every time I thought the meeting was about to end, someone managed to find another non-story to tell and make it even longer. (Probably the most infuriating part was when one of my coworkers asked the guy that joined last week if he had a girlfriend. Thankfully my boss scolded her, because I damn near unplugged my internet router so I wouldn't have to listen to this shit).
I suppose the idea of having (completely optional) meetings to get the team to know each other better is nice on paper, but when nearly all of my coworkers are either 40 year old people with kids, or 20 year olds who act like 40 year old people with kids... It just gets so exhausting and isolating. I don't wanna talk to these people, I wouldn't hang out with most of these people if I had the chance, and I don't care that you hate your kids because now you don't have enough money to buy a PS5. Just let me do the work I'm being paid to do.

I'm bored so i'm posting this story. When I was in 4th grade, it was mothers day and our teacher had us make a card. One kid (Lets call him Tom) said, "I bet your mom doesn't even know what mothers day is." I snapped back saying, "Well, she has a graduated college with a 4.0, speaks multiple languages, and has a job. He hid his head the rest of the day.

The game is just unenjoyable,every match Im in has at least 3 tiktok kids just going for deflects and its boring as shit,you do anything and they do a dodge then the corresponding heavy light or guardbreak,its not fun to fight them,then when they are together in one place like in a point they just stunlock you with lights then emote in the middle if the combo,its just not fun to fight against,I want to play a combat game not dance dance revolution but with swords

Wednesday, May 24 - Tuesday, May 30

Top 10 Posts

score	comments	title & link
28	0 comments	[Meta] [Meta] Update: With multiple projects going on, I might combine the Best of /mashups April and May lists into one list and release it in June.
21	3 comments	[Mashup] TKRMX - "ready to rumble" (Fugees, A Tribe Called Quest, Super Smash Bros Melee)
21	1 comments	[Mashup] Doug F - Pray That Funky Music (Wild Cherry, Bon Jovi, DNCE)
17	3 comments	[Mashup] ell. - Cupid's Still Into You (FIFTY FIFTY, Paramore)
17	0 comments	[Mashup] Bronze Is Bored - Toxic Monster (Britney Spears, Skillet, Three Days Grace)
14	0 comments	[Mashup] Samuel Mallet - Dancing Up That Hill (ABBA, Kate Bush)
14	2 comments	[Mashup] Alan - All I want for Christmas is Kim (Eminem and Mariah Carey)
14	5 comments	[Contest] [Contest] /mashups GTA V Non-Stop Pop: Winner announcement.
12	1 comments	[Mashup] Scatman Gordon - The Demon Scatter (Scatman John, Mick Gordon)
11	22 comments	[Contest] [Contest] /mashups Bi-Weekly Contest, Grand Theft Auto V Non-Stop Pop Album. Voting phase. Please vote by Saturday, May 27, 2023 at 12 noon EDT/5 PM BST.

 

Top 5 Most Commented

score	comments	title & link
1	11 comments	[Meta] [Meta] Poll: Should there be new genre tags leading to post flairs, such as [EDM] EDM Mashup, on /mashups?
2	6 comments	[Album] Your weekly /mashups roundup for the week of May 17 - May 23
9	6 comments	[Mashup] JustinBeats - Dance The Night [The Stop! Remix] (Dua Lipa, Britney Spears)
4	4 comments	[Mashup] Bass of Molag - I Will Bring It All Back (S Club 7, Hatebreed)
6	4 comments	[Mashup] JOHN DAMN - "Show Biz Crystal Kids" (Crystal Waters, Steely Dan)

 

My wife has BPD… I never really knew what this meant, and frankly.. i still dont. Ive been reading some posts on here and really it is pretty terrifying.
Together 3 years, married nearly two. She has always been very codependent on me.. her “anxiety” being the cause. Let me start off with i love this woman, to the depths of my soul.. but im terrified that by loving her, im allowing her to rip me to shreds, sadly i dont think she even knows she is doing it either.. or maybe i am just that naive. I am a transgender man, i came out inside of our relationship, she was SO supportive at first.. and still is, at times. She was SAed at a young age, her mother died in front of her, tossed around from house to house of who ever would take her at the time. her sister has told me that shes crazy and it all is made up (aside from her mothers death) at the same time her sister aint too great or trust worthy either, she 100% trauma dumped a week into our relationship.. which at the time i thought was just her being super open and trusting me to know these things. she love bombed the fuck out of me, like i was golden to her could do no wrong, i was everything she had been searching for, etc. and lately.. things have, changed. Shes in therapy on her own accord even. But Since starting my transition i can not tell you how many times i have heard “thats such a man thing to say” “there’s that toxic masculinity”…. And it makes me feel like transitioning, the one thing that has made me truly happy in my own being, is something i never should have done.. because it ‘triggers’ her. Used to we intimately cuddled.. (if you catch my drift)like rabbits… sometimes more than i even could handle and she would even get upset and pout until i gave in and gave it to her if i did not want it… now, since my transition.. i have to beg for it basically.. all while she has told me recently that she would never date a man or a transman ever. shes only okay with it now because it is me. She makes comments about missing b00bs, and a woman’s soft skin… and i feel like I’ve become something that is just terrible.. my happiness with myself is being robbed. I finally decided to talk to her about this today, and basically i was told that it isn’t my transition, that she is just bored and she constantly needs something new and exciting and i just need to keep it exciting… that shes.. bored. Those words..are terrifying. For months i have begged her to talk to me, asked what is wrong, questioned my own worth… just to be told “i mean once you get going im present in it and its good hell the best I’ve ever had.. but im just bored so even getting in the mood is hard.”.
Um.. what? Like you have got to be kidding me… I walk through hell for this woman, i deal with her 10 year old daughter CONSTANTLY fighting me, reminding me that im not her dad, punching me in the face, screaming at me, telling me im not welcome here and need to leave that this isn’t my house… I deal with the sly comments about my transition that slice me straight across the jugular.. i take every last one of her mood swings and do so without hesitancy.. she has broken my tv, allowed her daughter to tear me down, hit stuff, cut herself with my testosterone needles (yes i do believe this was a purposeful stab to my transition in her mind, as myhundreds of pocket knives were readily available as well), compared me to her abusers, down played my depression….. and then she turns right around and picks me up with the softest most gentle words, the ones i long to hear… that she knows i long to hear… she has even came into groups like these and screen captured posts and sent me out of nowhere and been like this must be how you feel and im so sorry.. i dont know how you deal with me…. I am the problem… then within hours, literally hours.. it is the opposite. She has had me 1000% convinced that we are the same person, that her pain is one with mine and she knows my struggles, that she is an understanding right down to the core type person…. But then turns around and in moments of stress tells me i gaslight her.. knowing i have been in many situations where i have been gaslit my whole life.. and to be told im doing that to her when i know i am not… and good god is she amazing at turning ANYTHING she has done wrong into somehow making me feel like the one at fault… shes like this heaven-sent devil that feels so fucking good to have, but so fucking painful at the same time.
What do i do..
Guys… i feel like toxic waste… like i am worthless…
Any advice?

Background: My mom and I watch movies over Plex to help us stay in touch, we are 70s, 80s and 90s lovers. We mainly like practical effects, monsters, and seriously bad sets. To find these gems I usually have to scour ebay for VHS, rip them to digital, and put them up on Plex.
If you like B-Movies with huge plot holes, bad acting, sets and props that make you laugh at how awful they are, or just like extremely cheesy movies ... here are 5 that stood out over the last month.
Digital Man (1995)This movie is an odd duck. On all accounts this movie should suck: Bad acting? Check. Bad special effects? You know it has 'em. Story that was put together as shooting was taking place? Of course. It's got ridiculous sci-fi guns and armor that the actors were clearly embarrassed to wear and use while filming. It's got actors you will recognize who must have just started out, like a fresh-faced Adam Baldwin and Clint Howard (he even has some hair), and even Amanda Wyss from "Better Off Dead". This movie should be a slam dunk into the B-Movie toilet but somehow it all works, and even though I felt like I should be mocking this film as I watched it, I was pretty into it.
Primal Rage (1988)If you like movies where a team of Chads who like to be jerks with a side hustle of attacking women, who then contract some mad scientist cooties and turn into MegaChads and ruin a Halloween Party full of college kids ... this movie is what you are looking for. Honestly 3/4 of the budget must have been spent on the Halloween costumes for the party. It's actually the the best part of the movie. This film also embraces all that is 80s, including a pop-infused theme song that's played repeatedly for random reasons, big hair and mullets, girls wearing aerobics outfits, and lots of Rabid-Chads killing people.
Curse of the Blue Lights (1988)What do you get when you get a bunch of horney teens, throw them in a creepy graveyard, and let them make out until they inadvertently summon murderous ghouls? This movie. And maybe 100 movies just like it? For real, this is a movie you put on and go make a meatloaf or something because you can literally miss up to an hour of the film, come back, and figure out exactly what's going on.
Roller Blade (1986)I petitioned IMDB to rename this movie "SkateBoobs". I am not going to insult your intelligence and explain why. I watched this movie TWICE, doing irreparable harm to my brain, and I still have no idea exactly what it was about. Skate-Nuns who call themselves the "Bod Sisters", because they like to skate-fight in skimpy outfits and then relax in a hot tub of skate-goo, fight some other guys who are also on roller skates, look like they wandered in from the "Mad Max" set. Why? Boobs, of course. At some point in the filming the director decided that boobs were just not enough, so threw in some female full frontal nudity to really cement the movies together into a nudity-fueled roller-skate extravaganza. Do I recommend this movie? I mean, hell yeah I do. The only other movie that comes CLOSE to the boob-to-skate ratio I demand in my post apocalyptic roller-boob movies is Roller Blade Warriors: Taken By Force.
Dog Tags (1987)I've sat here for a good ten minutes, trying to find a way to describe this movie. I can't. Everything about this film was stupid: The soldiers were super dumb, wandering around a jungle dripping with bad guys, but they screamed at each other and argued at the top of their lungs about stupid things. The angst and emotion were also cranked to 12th gear, each guy had to take time out (usually during firefights) to talk about feelings and how hard their life was. The really, REALLY odd part which I also confirmed with my mom when we finally finished the movie: I kept expecting the soldiers to break into Broadway numbers, like "Hamilton" style but much, much worse. I have no idea why this was a thing but it's real, the actors looks like they just got done on a run of "West Side Story" and decided to make a long, boring war movie.
Hope this helps someone find some good B-Movies, we managed to watcha group of stinkers this month and no real gems that stand out. If you are a B-Movie lover you might find something good here, though!

Hey my friends! Missed me? I have a bit of Time at hand and why not share another Guide with you about an amazing Path to play. Certainly among the most cursed ones out there.
The Sirens of Hippogriffia.
Part 1: Fuck Hippogriffs, all my Homies hate Hippogriffs
Welcome to Hippogriffia. A Country of Stability. A Country of Progress and a Country of Unity. Sounds very boring, so let's change that.
But first things first: DO NOT BUILD UNDERWATER CONSTRUCTIONS NO MATTER WHAT!!!!111. Just ignore it, prosperity is for loosers anyway. And BTW: Save your Political Power from the Beginning. You will need a lot of it. And i mean A LOT.
There are 2 Species living in Hippogriffia. The Seaponies and the Hippogriffs. Both live in Harmony and work together toward a better future. We can't have that!
You want a total seapony Dominance, even one step further than what you can see in my Screenshot. And you want it quickly.
Your first Agenda should be to rush the Anti-Harmonic Activities Commitee. Start with Placate the Isolationists and go from there. As soon as you finish the Anti-Harmonic Focus you want total Seapony Dominance in your Country.
Of course the Hippogriffs won't like that. You now have a bit over 140 Days to do everything you need before your Country goes to shit.
Take the Patrol the Deepest Depths Decision immediately after you have finished the Commitee Focus and have total Seapony Dominance. And then wait. It is very important to not let your Seapony Dominance slip even once until the End!
Meanwhile progress through your Focus Tree as usual. It is a good idea to Focus on stuff that gives you Research Boni and extra Buildings. Don't bother with Foci that give you National Spirits, they will go away anyway.
Part 2: All is well in Ba Sing Se
Oh... After a while you get a concerning Report from your Expedition. I bet it is nothing to worry about! If you get this Message you are on the right Track. If not, load an older Save and start over.
After waiting a bit more you will get this Message: Secret Societys? In my Society?. Ah, kids and their silly secret Societys these days. Let me tell you, in my times...
Do you feel the Pressure? The Agitation in your Country is rising, The Hippogriffs are getting angrier by the Minute. So what should we do? Just wait until we get this beauty of a Message, of course: Stay calm, this is Fine. Everything is Fine! Choose the Bottom Option, it is the only reasonable choice in a Situation like this.
Direct after this a new Mechanic appears. Spread the Love around, brother!. I won't explain to you what you have to do to win - the Fun is in figuring that out but i will give you a few Pointers:

• Save PP as much as possible
• Be Patient and don't rush things. Better to do it slow and careful than fast and risky.
• Avoid Civil War at all costs!
• It could be a good Idea to sometimes don't take any Foci to get more Political Power
• Keep Stability above 40%! Never let it slip below even once!
• Don't get distracted! Focus on spreading the Cults and nothing else.

And the most Important: As soon as the Cult Mechanic begins you need to immediately get rid of the Seapony Dominance and balance your Society again.
So you need to Time your Choice of Foci, so you can quickly balance your Society out. Save a few Foci that change the Balance of your Country and time them so you can finish them before the Hippogriff Agitation reaches a boiling Point. You need to Balance your Society 2 Steps towards Hippogriffs in order to get rid of the Agitation. After that it does not matter how you balance your Society.
After taking Mount Aris Peacefully you are finlly ready to bring the hot Mixtapes out into the World: Check out my Soundcloud, bro!
Well, that was it. All the Secret Paths i personally know of. Now it will be harder for me to write Guides so enjoy those i wrote until then. See you!
And check out my other Guides, too:
Starfather Path
Worm Queen Path
Part 3: A Quick word to the Devs
Thanks for making this amazing Mod! I had countless enjoyable Hours with it even though i never saw MLP, don't know what it is or what it is about. I have no clue about the Lore or anything about the Show.
BUT it does not matter it is just an amazing piece of work and everyone can be really proud of what they did here! Everyone who is on the Fence with giving this Mod a try: You should do it, it is a Topquality Product, way better than the Vanilla Experience. And the biggest Pluspoint: It does not try to teach or preach to you about the favourite Ideology of the creators. Every Ideology is represented with different Facets. From Evil to wholesome. It is like the Anti-TNO (or the Anti-Most Mods for HOi4) in that regard, a Mod so preachy and biased towards certain Ideologies it is just weird to play. EAW embraces the sillyness instead of fighting against it. And i dig it 100%!
So give it a Go and i'll stop now otherwise i will rant longer than my Guide is hehe See You my friends!

It's been over a year since the original 100 Great Albums post. Since December 2021, I've listened to 375 Rock albums in total (just for fun, I'm getting paid for this!). Looking back at the original albums, I noticed I have a few with only 1 or 2 listens, whereas now I always try to aim for 3 at the minimum. So as this is a good midpoint (as I plan on stopping at the 20th post), I decided to revisit these certified classic albums and maybe upgrade/downgrade the ratings after more listens. I'll continue to edit grades on other posts if my opinion changes on them later on, but the 100 list got so popular that I feel like it should be left unedited.
Here's the format: Album (year) original grade [orig. Listens] // NEW GRADE {additional listens}

1. Bob Dylan - Freewheelin' Bob Dylan (1963) B+ [2 listens] // A- {1 listen} More time to digest his lyrics only makes it better. Hard Rain, Blowin in the Wind and Masters of War are still the best here. He had the wisdom and poise of a 70+ year old man, as a 22 year old...
   
2. Bob Dylan - Bring It On Home (1965) A- [3 listens] // A+ {2 listens} I can't overemphasize how great side two is of this album is. The songs aren't as musical as side one, so the lyrics are center stage and Bob Dylan ALWAYS captivates your attention. The electric guitar side is even better than I originally thought, but man does the second side has some of his best songwriting.
   
3. The Beatles - Help! (1965) B+ [3 listens] // A- {1 listen} This is the album where I think they started making legit "respectable" music. The early Pop music they made before is nice, but it's not that fulfilling. The variety made this age very well: Hide Your Love Away, Ticket to Ride, Seen a Face, Dizzy Miss Lizzy, Help!, Yesterday. It doesn't help that every album that followed it is considered one of the greatest albums of all time, but at this point, it was head and shoulders their best.
   
4. Beatles - Rubber Soul (1965) A++ [5 listens] // A+ {4 listens} Highway 61 Revisited gets the credit as being the album to kick off the Rock renaissance of the 60s, but imo, the "album arms race" started with this one. Without it, the musical landscape isn't the same as the concept of an entire album of worthy material wouldn't have been as widely adopted. With the praise out of the way... it's pretty one note. A great Folk Rock album, but as it's often compared to other albums (cough Pet Sounds), it doesn't hold a candle to them.
   
5. The Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour (1967) B+ [3 listens] // A {3 listens} This is fun, bro. No it's not a legendary album, hell, it's not really a fully formed one as it's really a soundtrack compilation album. But looking at all the songs, they're just fun. Even a half assed Beatles album is still incredible (no I haven't listened to Yellow Submarine, why do you ask?).
   
6. The Doors - Self-Titled (1967) A- [2 listens] // A++ {3 listens} Wow, this is why multiple listens are super important. Many of the songs I thought were "so so" are so much better compared to other Blues Rock I've heard so far. Ray Manzarek is a god on the keys and Jim Morrison is pretty magnificent on every song. It still feels dated, as it's not super complex in it's song structure (like in LA Woman), but every song is great. JUST short of a masterpiece.
   
7. The Who - Tommy (1969) B [1 listen] // D++ {1 listen} I was being generous on the original post, I really didn't like this album. After one more listen, I really hate it. The story is complete nonsense and the music really doesn't make up for it. But that's not why I hate it so much; it's the length. If you're gonna be a late 60's mess, be your flamboyant mess and get in & get out. But it's an overly long, drawn out, bore of an album. It's mind boggling that anyone would prefer this over Quadrophena. Pinball Wizard is a great song tho, but don't tell anyone I said that.
   
8. King Crimson - In The Court of the Crimson King (1969) A- [1 listen] // A {1 listen} listening to Moody Blues' Days of Future Passed made this album a better listen. That jazz prog rock, with a laid back feel instead of completely psychedelic. The rest of the album (outside the intro) was a better listen this time around with better context, as I remember being bored with much of it. Now that I'm familiar with early Prog Rock, this doesn't feel as foreign anymore.
   
9. The Beatles - Let It Be (1970) B+ [3 listens] // A {3 listens} yea, I'm a Beatles stan. Yea, it's probably the weakest Studio Era album. Yea, I enjoy the atmosphere of this album more than the music itself; as a last who-rah of a crumbling friendship that can only be held together by creating music, as that is where the only fun is still found amongst these guys. Do I like to pretend that Don't Let Me Down is apart of this album, so I can grade it higher? Also, yea.
   
10. David Bowie - Hunky Dory (1971) A+ [2 listens] // A {2 listens} this is Art Rock. Not being a glam/hard rock fusion makes it less heavy than its successor. It also suffers for not having multiple strong anthems to hold the entire thing. Changes, Life on Mars, Andy Warhol, Queen Bitch are all great songs, but I doubt any are in Bowie's top 5. The other songs don't hold up as much I remembered.
    
11. Carole King - Tapestry (1971) A- [2 listens] // A {2 listens} Joni Mitchell's Blue was the driving force this time around. That personal folk storytelling, with that lively piano yet cozy, warm atmosphere. With more listens, I don't really love the lyrical composition as I just love the tone of the thing. I can sit next to a warm fire (or on a window sill) and turn this on and relax. I understand what the genre of Soft Rock is going for now.
    
12. David Bowie - the Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1972) A+ [2 listens] // Masterpiece {3 listens} Probably didn't give this one too much thought when grading it, as I think I just fell in love with a few songs on it and forgot about the rest. Listening to this front to back... it's flawless. I tried to find a song that wasn't good or that was kinda boring, but they're all perfect. I've listened to Ziggy Stardust and Starman COUNTLESS times in the past year, and will randomly get guitar riffs from random songs off this album to pop in my head. Of his 4 albums I've listened to, I still think Low is his best, as the atmosphere of that Side B is unmatched. But this album is what I'd consider objectively perfect, as every song is great. Easy masterpiece, and a great example of why sitting with an album is just as important as giving it a bunch of listens.
    
13. Queen - A Night at the Opera (1975) A- [2 listen] // A {2 listens} Fun stuff. I enjoyed the multiple vocalists being apart of it instead of only Mercury, made it feel like a "stage play" with a revolving cast. I think I might have been a bit to harsh on this one, as most of the album wasn't that memorable, with how amazing Bohemian Rhapsody is. I didn't understand what this album "was" with it's vaudeville style, but now, I see that it's this halfway point between the Hard Rock and the Prog Rock of the 70s, with that theatrical flair to make it standout. Definitely worth checking out.
    
14. Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols (1977) B [2 listens] // A- {2 listens} In 1987, Rolling Stone listed this as the 2nd best album of the last 20 years (since 1967) only after Sgt. Pepper's and man, did that made it easy for me to view this as overrated. I think since listening to more Punk Rock that followed this, I start to see how much better they've done with this compared to others. The guitar playing actually changes throughout the song, Johnny Rotten is actually expressive and feels spontaneous, and the drumming is creative. But the real change in opinion is the guitar playing: the riffs on many of these songs are undeniably awesome, which gives Rotten so much to work on top of. My biggest gripe with Punk Rock is how repetitive some bands can be. Now after more listens to this, I can absolutely NOT say the same can be said about this album. It's varied and expressive; how Punk Rock should be.
    
15. Steely Dan - Aja (1977) A [1 listens] // A+ {1 listen} better than I remember. The jazz rock combo is really good, it really leans into the jazz instead of simply using it as an aesthetic. It's not Prog whatsoever, just jazz with traditional Rock instruments. Honestly, you can barely tell if this would considered Rock at all. You really got to like jazz to love this tho. It has that free flowing feel of that genre, from the instrumentation to the flow of the singer. Great album! I'm assuming Steely Dan is hated by the rock community because of this heavy leaning into jazz. Which is understandable, but that doesn't mean they don't make phenomenal music.
    
16. AC/DC - Highway to Hell (1979) B+ [2 listens] // B {1 listen} They haven't quite moved away from the Blues sound yet. Back in Black is a pure distillation of what Hard Rock should be as a stand alone genre, but they don't quite have that confidence in being that brash yet. Bon Scott does a lot of heavy lifting as Angus Young doesn't have that swagger in his solos yet. A lot of the songs aren't super great, but they at least still carry energy. Highway to Hell is a fantastic song, but the majority is just meddling around in this laid back blues style.
    
17. Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms (1985) B [1 listens] // B- {2 listens} I originally wrote this off as one that I "just didn't get", with how insanely commerically successful it is. Now after listening to their Self-Titled album, it actually becomes even more disappointing as you know how much more they're capable of. There's such a signature style on it and this throws all of it away in exchange of a 80s soft rock sound. Walk of Life and So Far Away are good tunes, due to the guitar hooks; everything else is just shallow.
    
18. Pixies - Doolittle (1989) A- [2 listens] // A+ {2 listens} Now, I view this band on the level of the Beatles or Velvet Underground as one of those influential bands that changed music. At the time, Doolittle was too weird for me, but with much more context from this era, this is just insanely great. Compared to Surfer Rosa, the versatility is on a different level. While it is great and varied, it's not exactly "great" in any one area, so I can see why the bands that were influenced by them are viewed as better, as their stuff would've been more focused in one style instead of all over the place. Great album, legendary band.
    
19. Alice in Chains - Dirt (1992) A [2 listens] // Masterpiece {4 listens} This album is a grower. Every time I listen to it, I like another song from it. The harmonies are God tier, the guitar riffs, God Tier, the choruses, God tier. Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell... peanut and jelly. I've given out 2 masterpieces to grunge albums (Nevermind and Ten), so what makes this different from those is that Dirt takes its time in developing songs. So many of these songs start slow and somber, and quickly turn aggressive and passionate! Gnarly riffs on one song, than a few minutes later, you're listening to soft vocals behind a rough, tortured voice. Not a bad song on here, hit after hit, I got to say it's a masterpiece.
    
20. Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral (1994) A [3 listens] // A+ {2 listen} the word "gritty" might get thrown around a ton by me, but I still haven't heard such a brutal, harsh sounding album while still having pristine production value. It's nasty and mean. Even in the slow moments, you can feel the pain, anger, or sadness in his voice. Compared to other stuff, it doesn't have that much replay value to it, as it's not exact what one would call "musical". But you got to call it what it is: art.
    
21. Green Day - Dookie (1994) A [2 listens] // A+ {1 listen} It's just good music. Yes, the ceiling isn't as high as it could be, but it's so enjoyable that it is always a fun listen. The album is on point from start to finish, it's one of those "if you like one, you like it all" love it or hate it kind of deals. From Burn Out to When I Come Around is just Pop Punk perfection; the backhalf doesn't hold up compared to the start, but it's all still very good.
    
22. Weezer - Self-Titled "The Blue Album" (1994) A- [1 listen] // A {2 listens} I only gave this one listen and only revisited it after listening to Pinkerton. Isn't not as dismissable as I originally remembered, as I only gave it one listen. It's more POP- punk thank pop-PUNK compared to Dookie, which led me to not care for it as much. And it's pretty good pop, with a punk style to give it some edge, I guess. I still like Pinkerton more than it, but it can definitely stand alone as a good album itself.
    
23. Oasis - Definitely Maybe (1994) A [2 listens] // A+ {2 listens} Liam Gallagher is really good... but Noel Gallagher is the truth, bro. That dude knows how to make a great song. They aren't super complex, but they're all have perfect execution. Mix in that Wall of Sound effect with the guitars, it makes this stand out even more from the overwhelming stacked albums of the 90s. The non-single tracks aren't as strong compared to (What's the Story) Morning Glory?, as that album is damn near perfect imo. Great debut album.
    
24. Radiohead - The Bends (1995) B+ [1 listen] // A {2 listens} If Radiohead didn't make this album, I highly doubt I would've listened to this. Which is a shame, because this is a really good album. On the flip side, being a Radiohead album also did more harm than good, as it gets massively overshadowed. I admittedly did a half assed listen to "get to the famous stuff". Fake Plastic Trees, the Bends, and Black Star are great songs. I've listened to Ok Computer so much that I come to think of it as their official "start" of their sound, when in reality, they set the stage on The Bends of what can be possible down the road. Also, they toured with Alanis Morissette with the album, so extra bonus points!
    
25. Arcade Fire - Funeral (2004) A- [2 listens] // A+ {2 listens} better than I remembered. I definitely thought it was borderline pretentious, with how the song structure is when I originally listened to it. Now, without that stigma, it's not THAT abstract and I've come to admire the creativeness of it. I always love when there's women vocalists, to mix up the sound and so many different instruments add even more to the variety. It always feels like a new listen, with how many things I'll forget to notice and remember again.
    
26. Lcd Soundsystem - Sound of Silver (2007) A- [1 listen] // A {2 listens} The first 4 songs are awesome; Get Innocuous with it's multirhythmic layering is my textbook PERFECT song, a 21st century "Remain in Light" homage. The rest just loses this energy and it's never found again. Compare the first track with the last one and it sounds like two different projects. I know you can call me a hypocrite with how much I love Remain in Light, but at least with that one, it's only the last song and not half of the album. Seriously tho, Get Innocuous is a top 10 song of all time
    
27. Tame Impala - Currents (2016) A- [1 listen] // B+ {1 listen} Didn't expect my feelings to decrease, but compared to Lonerism, this is so mid. The lack of a real "great" song (Rihanna's Same Old Mistakes clears) makes it tough to love. It is consistent though, so it's still a good listen; just not a memberable one.
    

Albums I revisited, but no change in opinion. I feel like with these, I need to explain/defend myself more than I did on the original reviews:

1. Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (1965) A+ [4 listens] // {3 listens} After listening to a good chunk of their discography, I've come to two conclusions on Pet Sounds: 1) This album is truly lightning in the bottle as they NEVER reach it's level of consistency in quality from track to track. 2) Baroque Pop, while groundbreaking, came and went as fast as it arrived, mainly due to how abstract it is compared to its successor, Psychedelic Rock. Beyond that, there are a few skips that are solely due to wild creative mind of Brian Wilson. As a musical genius, dare I say better than Lennon and McCartney, but as a songwriter? Not even close imo. Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt. Pepper's are all great albums, while Pet Sounds can be argued to be their only great album (Wild Honey is also a good listen). I know bringing up the Beatles can be annoying, but the Beatles made great "hit singles" with their song layout, while about only half of the tracks on Pet Sounds are what I'd consider a traditional song. That's probably why I don't think it's so amazing (I kinda feel the same about progressive Rock) as I tend to favor music with a concise structure; even as unoriginal the structure may be.
   
2. Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced? (1967) B+ [1 listen] // {1 listen} I can't get into it. The songwriting isn't there, especially compared to the stuff that would follow it. This is him at his rawest, but it's a reason why Medium Rare is the most commonly cooked steak.
   
3. The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed (1969) B+ [2 Listens] // {3 listens} Thought I would flip on this album, but surprisingly didn't change at all. I still think Gimme Shelter is the best Rolling Stones song and I still think You Can't Always Get What You Want is still a phenomenal album closer, but everything in between is pretty lackluster (besides Live With Me).
   
4. Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon (1973) A [4 listens] // {1 listen} I do enjoy this album more now I know how other Progressive Rock bands sound like, but not enough to raise it a grade. I enjoy Time and the whole second side much more and the "emptiness" of the genre doesn't bother me as much. But the first half is still a little too abstract for my liking. However, I do see how people can view this as their GOAT album with how groundbreaking it's release was at the time and outside of only other Pink Floyd albums, there's nothing else in this genre that really matches the "entering another world" feel it creates.
   
5. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here (1975) A [2 listens] // {1 listen} Similar thoughts to DSotM, but this one has the more catchy "songs" and partly why I love it more. Welcome to the Machine and Wish You Were Here are fantastic, but overall not enough meat for my liking.
   
6. The Ramones - Self-Titled (1976) B [2 listens] // {2 listens} I decided to give the Godfathers of Punk another try since I surprisingly came over to like the other Godfather, the Sex Pistols. And yeah... still isn't my thing. Way too one note, monotone singing, guitar takes over too much of the sound, etc. There are a few good hooks here and there, but you basically hear the entire song in the first 15 seconds. Everything I hate about Punk, stemmed from this album and made a lazier copy.
   
7. The Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dreams (1993) A+ [2 listens] // {1 listen} apparently the Smashing Pumpkins aren't considered grunge? If that's the case, comparing them to a Noise Rock band like a Sonic Youth or a Faith No More, they don't they don't rock out as much as I'd like. Also, I don't like how a few of these songs sound similar to each other. Today and Hummer of course are all top tier songs, but it's just not as much of a comprehensive project as Mellon Collie. Yea, it's definitely not grunge, as it would be much harder if it was.
   
8. Radiohead - Ok Computer (1997) A++ [2 listens] // {4 listens} Close, but no cigar. The first 3 songs and the last 3 songs are PERFECT, it's the stuff in between that makes it fall just short. The run of Karma Police into Fitter Happier to Electioneering is also a great moment in the album. Honestly, it's just Exit Music being "okay" that really stops it from being considered a masterpiece in my eyes. Still one of the greatest albums of all time, but not perfect in my eyes. This album is my perfect barometer for an A++ grade; it's objectively a perfect, but on the subjective level, there's nothing that makes me "adore" it. I completely understand how anyone thinking an A++ album I graded is a masterpiece, as I have to personally love it that extra step for it to get to that level.
   
9. Radiohead - In Rainbows (2007) A++ [3 listens] // {3 listens A+/A+/A++} Let me end it on a positive review: I didn't really give a thorough listen to it at first, as I don't remember much from it. Over time, my opinion on it dropped as I truly didn't see why people find it so special as they do. Ok Computer easily has the better individual tracks, Kid A is easily the most experimental. After finally revisiting it, maybe because it's a great midway between the two, with a weird electronic-rock-jazz fusion. Feels like there's not a single wasted second; every beat and note is meticulous. It's more chilled and laid back, which threw me off on the repeat listens. The hodgepodge of electronic and experimental sounds, being used in this traditional lofi style instead of being a fast paced one, was the curve that made it hard to love it at first, but now I think that's what makes it unique in its execution. A LOT of these rhythms could have been large and bombastic, and I kinda admire it's restraint in remaining "down in Earth". Also the album cover is noteworthy, where it feels completely spontaneous, never fully knowing what to expect going in. Definitely deserves its high praise
   

Albums I also revisited, but no change in opinion. Don't have too much to add on these, but listed them as my grades are concrete on these compared to the ones I didn't choose to listen to:

1. The Velvet Underground & Niko - Self-Titled "The Banana Album" (1967) A+ // Venus in Furs maybe one of the greatest songs ever composed
   
2. Cream - Disraeli Gears (1967) A+ // It still holds up, so damn awesome
   
3. Bob Dylan - John Wesley Harding (1967) B+ // yeah, he's kinda rambling on this one
   
4. The Stooges - Fun House (1970) A- // it's "the Stooges", possibly their best
   
5. The Rolling Stones - Exile on Main Street (1972) B+ // Nope, still didn't love it, still a mess
   
6. Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road (1972) A++ // One I thought wouldn't have held up. I shall never question Sir Elton's greatness again
   
7. The Eagles - Hotel California (1975) B // Great start, gets worst as it goes on
   
8. Patti Smith - Horses (1975) A- // labeling this "Punk Rock" is a nicer way of calling this weird af
   
9. The Clash - London Calling (1979) Masterpiece // Not only is there not a bad song here, but every song is perfect. Not great... PERFECT
   
10. U2 - Joshua Tree (1987) B+ // I can't deny that there are some good songs on here, even if I'll never listen to it again
    
11. The Cure - Disintegration (1989) A // after 375 Rock albums, Plainsong is still the greatest opening track
    
12. U2 - Achtung Baby (1991) A- // you gotta admit Bono is pretty cool on this one
    
13. Nirvana - In Utero (1993) A // love the Bass guitar's tone on this one, rawer contrast to Nevermind. I'm glad I didn't grow up in the 90s, as this will always sound so new and fresh to me :)
    
14. System of a Down - Toxicity (2001) Masterpiece // Similar to Hybrid Theory, if this wasn't labeled as "Nu-metal" (and maybe didn't get so overplayed and copied), even the most pretentious critic couldn't deny how great this is
    
15. Green Day - American Idiot (2004) A+ // Feels almost like a different band, the songs are much more nuisanced in its lyrics and its musical structure. That transition from Holiday to Boulevard still gives me goosebumps, such a great song.
    
16. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever You Say I Am, That's What I'm Not (2006) A++ // a tour guide to the UK nightclubbing/pub scene, way better than it has any right to be honestly
    

Bonus: Ween - 12 Golden Country Greats (1996) A [4 listens B/A-/A-/A] Country is still a somewhat foreign genre for me and I've been kinda bored with the concept of it. But it's Ween, so they've fully earned my trust at this point so I'll give this a try. This style is more or less my biggest indifference with the genre: it's not heavy enough to be impactful as rock, yet not soft enough to be as intimate as Folk. It's in this inbetween grey area where it's just not super captivating for me. With that said, it's rarely has been the "so bad, I can't stand to listen to it" levels of boredom that it has been made out as. That signature tongue-in-cheek humor of Ween is here and it makes the project more enjoyable. With Ween, whether it's supposed to be satirical or serious, the quality of songwriting is always top tier, so it's very easy to take whatever they're doing with my full respect rather than viewing it as just a joke. Japanese Cowboy, Mister Richard Smoker, Powder Blue, Piss Up a Rope and You Were the Fool (the best one) are my favorites; but other than Fluffy, every song is a good time. What really sells this album in particular, is that none of these songs would sound out of place on one of their other Rock centric albums, which allows me to extend a lot more grace towards it. Pretty good listen. For what it is, it's pretty consistent, but there's of course better Ween albums out there.

I am seeing Ben 10 videos in instagram a lot these days. I want to watch it again. I really liked it as a kid. Should I start from the Classic? Does it get boring?

Boredom, mostly.
I don't care about Rabin. I didn't care about Paul or the kids, and I'm not even much of a Ms. Marvel fan. But I think ghosting the kids AND Ms. Marvel was a pacing mistake. For one thing, killing off the kids takes focus away from Ms. Marvel's death. For another, we didn't get to know these kids. I can't feel sad for them because the comic gave me no reason to get invested. And now that the comic is like "LOL, you thought they were real" it feels like half the reason anyone read the damn book was for nothing. Just an undercooked storyline of nothing.
To me, this issue confirms that Spider-Man needs to ditch continuity. Moreover, I think Marvel should ditch continuity. Because if their idea of a best-selling comic is a boring, rage-inducing mess where they kill off a character from another book for no reason but synergy, then they're not writing comics. They're writing advertisements for movies and TV shows. And if that's what they want to make then fine, but I'm sick of lackluster comics bogged down by violated continuity and character development being the result.
Also, what was with Kamala's interview? She left her name off her resume and said "I won't take no for an answer" over expressing real interest in the company's mission statement or whatever. I know that scene was only in there to set up Kamala's death, but it took me out of the story before I could even attempt to be invested.

This is very long and I apologise but I just need to get this out. There is tldr at the bottom.
In the beginning, it started off as a sweet office romance. We had a crush on each other - eventually he found me on social media and we started dm'ing back and forth. Quickly we started dating and I felt so lucky that my crush liked me back and were quickly learning we had a strong connection. He showered me with attention, gifts, whisked me away on trips, told me he felt drawn to me and made me feel so safe to receive his love. He was so affectionate and gentle and couldn't keep his hands off me and couldn't help but coyly smile when he looked at me. Looking back, I feel I was love bombed. We were so happy for the first 7 months - he talked about moving in with him and I asked him if it was definitely what he wanted, he looked me in the eyes with conviction and said he won't change his mind. We agreed we both had stuff we had to do first to prepare and agreed to wait til next year while we both worked on doing those things. He started getting the house ready - he told me he would convert the garage into an art studio for me, he would get a new bathroom suite with a bathtub put in just because he only has a shower and I am a bath person - in short he he was reorganising his place to accommodate me and make room for my life merging with his, and happily and enthusiastically doing so at that.
I felt like my life couldn't be going any better - I had a clear vision of the future in which for the first time I didn't have to navigate lifes tricky paths alone. I finally felt what love felt like as before I wasn't ever sure I had ever felt real love versus just infatuation. My love for him was pure, I just wanted to give what I could give to him to lift him up and help him be the best version of himself, outside and separate from my own stuff. I looked at him and just felt deep respect and admiration. Sometimes, I looked at his weary face when I sensed he was tired or stressed and just gently and quietly moved my hand over his eyebrow and his forehead, running my hands over his head and feeling a strong warm feeling in seeing it relax him. When he gave me affection, it made me feel totally loved and safe. When we were driving somewhere and not saying a word (because we didn't need to fill silences), he would reach his free hand over to me and just drive while holding my hand, or resting his hand on my thigh. It felt electric to me. We would be cuddling on the couch and he would cradle me in his arms and kiss my eyelids. Sometimes, when we were sitting separately on the couch he would scoop me up and bring me over to his lap just to cuddle. I felt blissful and accepted. We always made time for each other as often as possible while maintaining separate lives and interests. I started to have a mental image of our future based on the things we discussed. We talked about children and we both wanted them some time in the future, talked about names, how we would raise them. We talked about the logistics of moving in, how it would work, how to split our finances etc. He said he couldn't see any cons to moving in as we would both have more money instead of paying for separate houses, and we would get to see each other every day. I agreed. I realise now that we were just two kids playing houses and that the future I envisioned was one that I was never destined to experience but in my heart it felt so real and I feel like he dangled everything I ever wanted in front of me and when I took the bait he backtracked.
This is the beginning of the end: we went on our first vacation together. I was unbelievably excited that I got to spend an entire week with the man I loved and who I thought loved me too, uninterrupted by life stuff like work and other commitments. I thought we were going to have so much fun. The morning before we left for the airport, we had sex. Afterwards we stood up and he held me and looked me in eyes and said, I love you. I believed it. I said I love you too. We then got the plane to our destination and checked into the hotel. The first day of the trip, I noticed he was acting kind of distant. We were out sightseeing and I noticed he was walking in front of me a lot, almost at a fast pace that I had to kind of try and match. When we talked (or I tried to engage him in conversation) he was looking directly ahead and around everywhere and not at me. For 2 whole days I barely received any eye contact whatsoever. When we were at restaurants eating lunch/dinner, he would sit on his phone the whole time. Eventually this uneasy feeling ate away at me and I confronted him, later in the hotel room. I asked if everything's ok as he seems kind of distant lately. I said it feels like you would have had a good time on this trip regardless of if I was even there. He said he would have. I thought it was strange, but reasoned that was probably nothing and I'm reading too much into it. Then, I said, "how come you haven't been affectionate with me at all since we got here? You are usually really affectionate". He looked me in the face and said "no I'm not! I don't know why you think I am...I'm just not a touchy feely guy". I was confused, and I said yes you are! He denied he was acting any differently and that said, "you're too sensitive". I started to get really confused. Who was this man? What is happening? After a long while of skirting the subject he admitted: "It's not in your head and you're not making it up - I'm not feeling this - our first trip away together is supposed to be fun, and I dunno it seems like we've got no chemistry". I was confused because 24 hours before this we seemed to have a lot. I asked him if he loves me, he said yes. I asked him does he still want to be with me, he said he didn't know. From all the confusion I started to cry, and he looked at me an empathetic look, rested my head on his chest and I just looked at him silently with tears, which he wiped away from my face. He said I was an angel, and it wasn't me or anything I've done wrong, and this happens with every girlfriend he's had and it always ends in tears (for the girl, not for him). I decided we were here now so let's enjoy the rest of the trip. For the next 5 days, I pretended to be enjoying myself and bubbly and happy. I smiled at him and laughed and engaged with him all the while keeping down this black pain rising inside my stomach. I put on such a good performance for the sake of the both of us, and so did he. The rest of the trip, he held my hand, he cuddled, he gave me kisses. We were really good at acting that we were optimistic and enjoying ourselves.
When we got back from the trip, he called me and said there might be something wrong with him as he gets bored easily and is always looking for the next thing - he sometimes feels empty and sometimes hyperactive. I listened and understood. Maybe he was going through a turmoil that had nothing to do with me and I needed to be understanding and patient. I asked where this leaves us - shall we keep trying and see how it goes? He said he has had this "not feeling it" feeling on and off through our whole relationship. He said this matter-of-factly as if it was just one of those things. I felt sick, as if he has been thinking this on and off the whole time, then he did a brilliant job of hiding it. I felt sick realising while I was sitting next to this man, thinking we were so in love with each other, he was sitting there feeling that he didn't want to be with me, for reasons that aren't even clear to him. He said we are moving too fast and don't think we should live together and just see how it goes. This is odd as he is the one that love bombed and brought up living together in the first place. He's the one who said I love you first, he's the one that asked ME to be his girlfriend. How can you mean this implicitly one minute then the next realise its not what you want and take it all back? I feel like he expected me to bounce back from this straight away and reel back and go with the flow.
For the 6 weeks that followed, we agreed to keep trying. He tried to make an effort, and so did I. We tried to make time for each other - back when things were good, either I would stay over at his or he would stay over at mine approx 2 times a week, usually on a tuesday as we were off work the next day, or on the weekends when I had a weekend off work. This seemed to be the arrangement for the majority relationship as it's what we normally did that seemed to work for both of us, although I admit I missed him when we had to part and had to wait until the next time, but I had my own life and enjoyed doing that separately too. Towards the end of the relationship, there was a time he asked when I wanted to do something next, so I suggested "why don't I come over and stay tuesday and then we can get up early wednesday and go out for the day?, or you can come over after work and stay at mine and I can make dinner or something? That's what we normally do, right?" - he looked at me and said, "no we don't." I was confused, and said, "yeah that's how it goes usually, we do tend to do that though?". He just shook his head and said "nope." For these 6 weeks, my insecurity and anxiety and confusion and sadness just grew and grew, and turned into a monster. Last week, the day before an important job interview he had, I tried to talk to him about how he feels now ever since the trip, if he felt he still wanted to be with me. It was a bad time to bring it up, but I just felt if I didn't ask now I wouldn't have the bravery again to ask later. When I asked him, he immediately shut down, leaned back against the wall, sighed and rolled his eyes at me. He said "why are you bringing this up now, you're really going to bring up this huge conversation right before my interview? I need my mind to be focused just now". I said sorry, and he left.
Then, after he went to the interview, I was staying at his place. He was waiting til the next morning to hear back if he got it. We were watching a movie downstairs and was falling asleep, so he said goodnight and that he was going to bed. I stayed downstairs and finished the movie. An hour later, he comes back downstairs saying he couldn't sleep and that he was just upstairs "playing on his phone". We were sitting on the couch and he gave me his phone to show me something. I went to swipe to the next page and I accidentally brought up a tab that was open to his instagram messages. I didn't even mean to look, but it happened so fast. I saw a message that he had sent to his female friend, just 10 minutes before he came downstairs. I didn't open the message obviously but I rationalised that he was talking to her about this job interview as that's what she does for a living and she gives him advice about this stuff. I admit, I got a sick feeling in my stomach that was probably just my own insecurity - why was he upstairs in bed late at night messaging his female friend while I was downstairs alone? Why did he say he was "playing on his phone" when he was talking to his friend and why couldn't he just say that's what he was doing?. The next day while waiting for the call to hear back from the job (he didn't get the job in the end), we were talking about it and I asked him who have you told about this job then? He looked me in the face and said, "nobody, just you and my mum." Nausea crept in. If this is true, then what was he talking to his female friend about while I was alone downstairs and why did he hide it? And if it's not true, then he's lying to my face and I don't know why.
That was the final straw. I just felt this wave of bad energy - this strange sensation that something wasn't right. Not anything to do with his female friend - just this intuition that he is not forthcoming, and that he shouldn't be trusted. It dawned on me, for the past 6 weeks, I have been completely anxious and depressed and I didn't even realise it. I ignored this black heavy feeling in my heart not realising what it had turned into - insecurity, distrust and disillusionment of the man I loved. Yesterday, I told him everything. That I felt unhappy, I feel depressed, but that I love him and I will work hard and do my part to be better. He in turn said, he's glad we are talking about this as he feels for the past while we have just been really good friends that fuck and eat food together. I said I agreed, it did feel a little like that - I knew what he was talking about.
He said while he always has a good time when we're together - it feels like was burning himself out making time for each other, and the past week we've not seen much of each other he's actually felt rested. It hurts to hear that he feels rested being away from me - am I really too much? Is it my fault? He says it feels unnatural to have "labels" of boyfriend and girlfriend and the expectations to do couple things, and said we're already good friends now so let's just stay that way. He had no intention of making the relationship work after all. He said, "we basically agreed to just be friends ages ago without actually saying it". I don't think this is true because we have still being doing couple activities and been intimate, so I'm not sure where this is coming from and it is making me question everything. I said that won't work for me and I am going to have to say goodbye. He was shocked - he said "I can't believe you don't even want to be my friend - I don't want to part ways and still want to do all the activities and vacations we had planned". I said no, I can't do that. He was stunned that I didn't want to jump from being his girlfriend one day to his best friend the next. He actually said he felt GOOD after we had that talk about how it just feels like we're friends and he just assumed we would just bury and deny that the relationship had ever happened and go on as normal, but as friends. I feel this really invalidates my experience - I am sitting here heartbroken for the past 6 weeks, unable to eat, unable to remember the last time I was happy - with a foggy memory and feeling utterly confused and discarded. Meanwhile he is over the moon and feels good that we got it out the way and he can carry on as if nothing ever happened. Everything I said to him in my goodbye that meant to much to me to say and was important - he glossed over. The only part that concerned him or made him sad was that I didn't want to remain friends and act like nothing ever happened. He didn't care that the relationship was over - he only cared that he couldn't hang around with me or talk to me anymore.
He sent me a text today, saying he was shocked and how determined I was to sever our friendship, how it was clean cut and how come I didn't have any hesitation whatsoever? This makes me feel guilty - like I have wronged him - that I am being harsh or cold - but I don't feel ready to talk to him, or that I owe him that closure. Does this make me a bad person? Am I just discarding him? He can't understand why I don't want to be friends with him 4 hours after breaking up and can't fathom how I'm not ready or willing to talk to him as though the breakup was just some asinine event that happened and carry on right away as good friends. I feel it invalidates my experience, and he does not realise I am even in pain as he is not and can't grasp that what he said to me might have caused me pain. He can only see it from HIS point of view and how it makes HIM feel.
My question to you is this - how do I reconcile with what was lost? The vision of the future I thought I had with the man I thought I knew? Why am I STILL so confused about the events? I feel he minimised what we had - I feel I did something to push him away and make him not love me. Why can I no longer trust my own intuition and perception of my own experience? Why do I feel like a train has hit me and I can no longer trust people and it's not safe to?
TLDR; Ex boyfriend changed personality - denied he was ever that person - devalued the relationship until it became a "friendship" and didn't say anything to me about it or let me in on it. Then, was relieved when I initiated the breakup, but only showed negative emotion when he realised I wouldn't actually still be in his life anymore. My family are convinced he was gaslighting me - they say they noticed so many things from an outside perspective that I just couldn't see. What has happened to me and why do I feel like the guilty party? Why can't I even function properly - my attention span has become zero - I can't remember my passwords, I do things automatically without thinking and I have no concept of time - every day feels like one long day and when I walk anywhere, it feels like it's not even my feet touching the ground. Was I right to end the relationship? Am I making it all up and maybe he wasn't a bad guy and that he was clear with his intentions and I refused to see it because I was in love? Am I being dramatic and not realistic?

Whenever I've tried to start a program like RR I've always found myself giving up. I really struggle with low reps strength based calisthnics for two main reasons. Firstly it's incredibly taxing on my nervous system and secondly the really long rest periods make it a really long session I don't have time for and honestly just bore me.
I'm not new to training. I've worked out with weights for years but I've always worked predominantly in an 10-12 rep range with 40 to 60sec rest. I've programmed periods of lower reps for variety but for the most part it's been higher reps with shorter rest. It keeps me engaged so I'm not standing around and it gets me in and out of the gym.
I really want cali to work. I'm just not able to get a good rythym going. I always start out, then give up and repeat, never making any progress.
I did give up working out for some time when i had kids so I consider myself a beginner again right now especially with compound movements I never really did like pull up or dip. The only movement I'm quite good at is push ups where I can get up to 20 good push ups.
I'd love for some advice on how I can stick to a program without the effects I mentioned above.

All ages are invited to the library this Friday (really all the time but this Friday is special) for the Summer Reading Program Kickoff Party. We have prizes for the first 1,000 people to sign up, with age-appropriate books for everyone from birth to... however old you are. There will be snacks and activities throughout the day - it's seriously one big party, and it's always a ton of fun. The best part??? It's all FREE! So are our activities throughout the summer, meaning if you are looking for great, free fun this summer for you and the kids, we've got you covered. You don't have to spend money, and you don't have to sit around bored. You also do not have to have a library card to sign up or to attend almost any of our programs, so if you live in Tipton, Miami, Cass county, or Greentown, you can still join us!
The kickoff party is taking place from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Friday at KHCPL Main, 220 N. Union St. downtown. You can sign up elsewhere but the prizes will only be at Main.
If you read 4 out of the 6 weeks of the program, you can attend a free party at Kokomo Beach on July 22.
Need more info? visit khcpl.org.

Hey guys generic apex shitter here to remind you, like everyone else that the new ranked system is terrible. I kid you not that the last 3 games I've played, we land and there is another team. We start to win the fight and suddenly I look at the map and our Loba is halfway across the map running from god knows what. We lose the fight and now I have to watch this diamond 1 Loba who probably hasn't taken a gunfight in 4 months rat it out until 11th place just to have them run straight into a team, miss every shot, and die. Don't get me wrong not everyone is like this and I have had some good teams, but solo queue is just so annoying for a shit player like me. This system of just "Oh being a pussy makes you better" is so annoying. I know I'm not the best but in all seriousness Its so boring to play.

Yesterday I took my sister’s mood stabilizers for her bipolar disorder to try to help with the OCD and actually it brought back a lot of my feelings. I felt nothing but love and happiness with my boyfriend and I feel similarly to how I did before. I guess this relationship is scary because even before I started feeling like this, I was used to love being in all-consuming, feeling falling super hard crashing super hard that person being all you think about and I have borderline personality disorder so it’s easy for me to be obsessed for years . The only thing I have to compare it to is some crushes and meeting one person online that I shouldn’t have met when I was younger. when I was younger about 16 I met somebody when he was 19 on the Internet and we started talking every single day, and I became deeply enamored with him. I was really lonely kid and I didn’t have many friends in school and I was going through a really hard time in my life and one night I prayed to God that he would bring me somebody that I could love. and it was this man who is constantly trying to jump on me and I feel like he used me in a lot of different ways and he would make promises about a future that would never come. every single time he would talk to me I felt just a burst of emotion. There was no questioning the way that I felt about him was intense. We talked almost every day until eventually he would just get bored of me and talk to a girl that lived where he did, and we talked for almost 4 years on and off. eventually I thought it was in love with him, but I had a friend who told me that I wasn’t because there’s no way I could love someone that I had never met and also she believed that love, true love with acceptance and seeing someone every day, being with someone every day and having a connection so at 19 once I realized he was never really going to come and see me or commit to me or want to actually be with me and that I had waited four years of my life. I told him I could no longer speak to him anymore and it’s been two years since that happened and I haven’t talked to him since. I dated a lot and I felt the same infatuation feelings for other people but then I met the person that I’m with now which is been the longest relationship I’ve been in since and I truly feel like as much as people don’t believe this is the one, but I feel like this is the one. Things for me started off very slow and I’ll admit in the beginning I didn’t feel much for him, but I had a deep interest in him. He seemed different from all the other people that had spoken to you in like he had actually seen something in me that nobody else has ever seen before. although he was on drugs, so I relationship started off very rocky. We had a honeymoon phase very early on in the beginning that didn’t last for more than a month before I started to see things that he was hiding from me with the drugs. at one point I was so scared I was gonna have to break up with him because he just wasn’t going to be the person I wanted him to be but he meant so much to me at the time and maybe I had some type of a caretaker complex, because I still wanted to be with him. He got clean in the relationship for himself, but he also says so he can be with me and we can have a happy life together and he’s always told me that he sees such a future with me and he thinks I’m such an amazing person. I think the same thing of him because he shows me such unconditional love, and as time went by my feelings for him started to grow, and I didn’t even really notice how they were growing but the connection between us which is completely undeniable. It was different than how I felt with the dude I met online. It was so easy and it was just like he was like my best friend but I didn’t see him as my best friend. I wanted to be like close to him I wanted to hug him all the time and kiss him all the time and we could just sit and talk for hours about nothing. We could do the most disgusting things in front of each other and like not give a fuck and still like be all over each other the next minute we went on adventures together we imagine if future together I sent him wedding dresses, and he told me which color look the best soggy. All we ever did in our relationship was laugh . We were goofy. We were amazing we could sit in the dark and just hold hands and talk and it would be just the most connected feeling . But I guess because it wasn’t feeling extremely infatuated with him and there were times where I questioned if I was attracted to him at moments my body one day just noticed that I wasn’t always feeling super in love with him all the time, and then it started to freak out there were times that I thought I was lying about my feelings, or that I might love him with tonically, but those were just normal thoughts, and I always remembered I wanted our future together. I always thought I could have a happy life with him. I don’t think I’d ever regret being with him. I feel like that’s what is soul made it supposed to be. But this anxiety is just taking over my life and my relationship and now I can’t even remember how are used to feel anymore and talking about it makes me so emotional inside. I’m so mean to him because now everything that he does aggravates annoys me I’m so irritable and angry, and I feel like nothing anymore. bet every day I fight every single thought, and every single urgent every single enlightens moment told me I’m not supposed to be with him because I want to be. I want to love him the way that I loved you before that was love. I don’t even know what love is supposed to feel like he’s the first person that’s ever given it back to me. don’t want us to have the connection the easiness the piece that we used to have in our relationship. Now all we do is argue and I’m usually the one starting it. I know that I love him because as I’m talking about this I’m crying so hard that I have this feeling that makes me feel like I don’t. but sometimes I just don’t care that I’m pushing him away, and I want to care I want to feel like he’s important to me again I want to be a better day because I know if I lose him I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. I’m sick of my brain telling me there’s someone else out there for me. I just wanna be able to focus on him again I don’t care if there’s anything better. just feel like it’s so hard for us to connect ever since this happened and I just don’t want this to be the end.. I am in therapy. I’m trying to find different medication’s, but I just don’t want to beat that stuff. I just wanna be myself again I wanna be happy with him again. but it scares me because my brain is telling me that I was always lying to myself, but I remember how are used to feel just peace and calmness, knowing that I always had someone with me is that understood me better than anybody else in the world . No it just feels like we’re tolerateing each other. Hanging on because of the love and respect that we have for each other. We went through some tough shit and came out of it 10 times stronger before but I’m just scared that this is the one that’s gonna beat us. I don’t want it to beat us. I don’t care if I’m young I just wanna be with him and I’m breaking my own heart.

Kia Ora,
I shouldn’t have to start my post like this because I hate being negative but after dealing with this a few times now it needs to be said…if you’re someone who tends to ghost and/or is a shallow human being, please don’t bother continuing to read. I’ve made it quite clear I’m a bigger dude in my post and don’t have time to waste on people who are just looking for a conversation while they’re bored. End of negativity 😊
A little about me for you: I used to be in the New Zealand Army, recently left and now I'm studying youth psychology with a focus on LGBT mental health and suicide prevention. I do Uber eats part time to finance being a student, but find that I really enjoy it!
I'm a bit of a nerd (gaming, photography, documentaries). What's your favourite dinosaur?
Yes I have a kiwi accent. I've been told its pretty sexy and I'd love to serenade you to sleep with my voice or just chat.
Happy to send a photo if you'd like one. I’m 5”9, black hair, green eyes, tattoos and olive skin. I'm a big guy with a goatee (currently growing a new beard) and give off big teddy bear energy, or at least so I’ve been told. Happy to send a picture of course :)
I'm looking for a partner. Someone who's loyal, kind, caring, maybe a little silly at times, maybe enjoys gaming, someone who wants to settle down and have kids at some point (what's the point of the dad bod 😂 without the little tykes to go with it?)
I'd love to hear from you! I'm open to something long distance with a view to 🙃 moving in the future (doesn't have to be you moving here but we have excellent public health care and beautiful scenery), so drop me a line!
Have an amazing day!

Kia Ora,
I shouldn’t have to start my post like this because I hate being negative but after dealing with this a few times now it needs to be said…if you’re someone who tends to ghost and/or is a shallow human being, please don’t bother continuing to read. I’ve made it quite clear I’m a bigger dude in my post and don’t have time to waste on people who are just looking for a conversation while they’re bored. End of negativity 😊
A little about me for you: I used to be in the New Zealand Army, recently left and now I'm studying youth psychology with a focus on LGBT mental health and suicide prevention. I do Uber eats part time to finance being a student, but find that I really enjoy it!
I'm a bit of a nerd (gaming, photography, documentaries). What's your favourite dinosaur?
Yes I have a kiwi accent. I've been told its pretty sexy and I'd love to serenade you to sleep with my voice or just chat.
Happy to send a photo if you'd like one. I’m 5”9, black hair, green eyes, tattoos and olive skin. I'm a big guy with a goatee (currently growing a new beard) and give off big teddy bear energy, or at least so I’ve been told. Happy to send a picture of course :)
I'm looking for a partner. Someone who's loyal, kind, caring, maybe a little silly at times, maybe enjoys gaming, someone who wants to settle down and have kids at some point (what's the point of the dad bod 😂 without the little tykes to go with it?)
I'd love to hear from you! I'm open to something long distance with a view to 🙃 moving in the future (doesn't have to be you moving here but we have excellent public health care and beautiful scenery), so drop me a line!
Have an amazing day!

Bio
Laurent is the child unit of Muriel, both from the first Fire Emblem that anybody actually played, Fire Emblem Awakening. Laurent's starting class is a mage, and I would copy paste his FEH description without a proper source but he's not in the game yet. He's the only child unit still not in the game but it's okay because Chrom needs another alt and the CYL is proof that democracy does not work.
Obtainability
Laurent is probably the hardest unit to get in Awakening because of a couple of unique challenges. First, it means that at some point in the conquest against Grima you have to marry off that old bat Meriel. Like most gamers, I only use attractive people and usually put her on the front lines first chance I get so that her pension pays out. But that's not applicable for this guide. Because Awakening is grinding friendly, your best bet is to sacrifice Stahl and grind the most boring supports I've ever fucking seen in my life with her. The second is that you can miss him if you don't check the house.
Stats
Who cares, I'm not a nerd. Also press the back arrow and look at the post above this one, this post is getting absolutely destroyed in karma by some drawing of one your students who looked up to you in a bikini.
Classes
I don't think they wear thongs in this one so your safe to make him whatever.
Supports
Laurent's supports are where you're going to get most of his characterization. The real bread and butter. Here's some important things we learn from his supports with various characters.
-His support with Stahl reveals that Stahl actually had intercourse with Mariel to conceive Laurent which is disgusting to think about. It also reveals that Lucina messed everything up as usual and he actually arrived much earlier than the other kids of future past.
-His support with my daughter Severa reveals that somebody tried to send her to rehab before it was too late, but the Shepards enabled her.
-You can romance him as female Robin but you're constantly at risk of Chrom commandeering you for the state in order to make Lucina.
-His support with Gerome reveals that having boring fucking supports can be genetic.
-His support with Nah reveals nobody can have a pleasant interaction with that piece of shit menace to society. Some redditor with the nah emoji next to their name that I don't know how to do is going to comment about how her being abandon in a foster home excuse her from committing a crime in every single support conversation she has. The journalists were right that Nowi is a dumb child and should have not been able to keep the baby if this is what her parenting is capable off.
-Nah's actually not so bad for him because Noire's support reveals he's into that sort of thing
-Cynthia has a fat ass
-I didn't watch the other ones
Trivia
-In the FE Awakening Audio Drama released in Japan there's neat moment of characterization for Laurent. While the kids of future past are split on whether or not to go back to the past an abandon a dying future, there is a tense argument between some of the more outspoken. Laurent walks into the camp as it nearly boils over and demands the two groups apologize to one another. When both refuse because they don't want to give up their stances, he exclaims that their alliance must come to an end. He states that if their friendship could so easily be fractured because of trivial stances, then it is not a worthwhile friendship. Laurent is extremely pragmatic, to the point where he does not place much faith in belief or ideologies that do not provide results. In this moment he's the only one to realize that their bond is the most important thing they have in the dying future and throwing years of it away for the sake of stances that amount to nothing in the end is pointless and if it was so easy to divide them, then their bond was actually not so strong after all.
-Cynthia actually doesn't have that fat of ass because it didn't fracture Laurent's pelvic bone